Zero Punctuation: Halo Wars

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Didn't think the guest appearance was much good tbh, I guess I'm too used to Yahtzee being a professional arsehole... Still, best ZP for a good few weeks I'd say, had a few actual laughs this time! The end went a bit mental, shouting does not suit you Yahtzee. Stick to the sarcasm, that's what we love about you! Well, one of the things.

The ending was hilarious. Great review, seemed more depth than past videos.

I have not laugh at one of his reviews so hard in quite some time // I do love the ending of it to // No not that stupid bit with the dog food // The panda bit

-M

I could imagine how anoying it must be to play an RTS on a console, so i choose not to. RTS's can be entertaining though (when played on a pc), warcraft 3 ftw

I DONT LIKE CHANGE!!!!!!!!

Hagasophia:
I wonder how moderators will treat this post:

About the new ZP video I can say only one thing, and I'll use the quote from Yathzee:

Never stick your dick in a pudding, it might still be a perfectly good pudding, but noone will eat it BECAUSE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT.

I do apologise for the usage of the d words, but you allow this on your side anyhow, so I thought it is OK.

Ok. So I sat down with my girlfriend yesterday to watch ZP and the voice did not fit. so we turned the bloody thing off!!! Yes you give no indication as to what you do, and the intro (other guys) part is too long. We switched off around the bit with a brick wall.

It was only this morning that I decided to sit through the rest of that agony to allow for a more honest opinion and I suddenly hear the Yathzee's voice.

You at least should realise that it is perfectly right to turn this thing off the first thing you hear the alien voice.

Don't do that again, because 'when someone serves a dead dog for a dinner you dont stay around for a pudding...' Guess where I heard that!

Oh get over yourself, Graham did a fine job in his segment. Come up with something original to say instead of quoting Yahtzee. Besides, it wasn't as if nobody knew this was going to happen. They said he was going to be on Zero Punctuation on this week's episode of Unskippable. And one last thing, this episode did air on April 1st. Even if you don't watch any other shows on this site, you must at least expect a few pranks considering it was April Fools' Day.

Tank207:

Hagasophia:
I wonder how moderators will treat this post:

About the new ZP video I can say only one thing, and I'll use the quote from Yathzee:

Never stick your dick in a pudding, it might still be a perfectly good pudding, but noone will eat it BECAUSE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT.

I do apologise for the usage of the d words, but you allow this on your side anyhow, so I thought it is OK.

Ok. So I sat down with my girlfriend yesterday to watch ZP and the voice did not fit. so we turned the bloody thing off!!! Yes you give no indication as to what you do, and the intro (other guys) part is too long. We switched off around the bit with a brick wall.

It was only this morning that I decided to sit through the rest of that agony to allow for a more honest opinion and I suddenly hear the Yathzee's voice.

You at least should realise that it is perfectly right to turn this thing off the first thing you hear the alien voice.

Don't do that again, because 'when someone serves a dead dog for a dinner you dont stay around for a pudding...' Guess where I heard that!

Oh get over yourself, Graham did a fine job in his segment. Come up with something original to say instead of quoting Yahtzee. Besides, it wasn't as if nobody knew this was going to happen. They said he was going to be on Zero Punctuation on this week's episode of Unskippable. And one last thing, this episode did air on April 1st. Even if you don't watch any other shows on this site, you must at least expect a few pranks considering it was April Fools' Day.

Agreed, I thought It was awesome that it happened. Hagasophia obviously doesn't have the patience to read the bloody synopsis right below the screen to see that this was going to happen. [sarcasm] No indication indeed.[/sarcasm]

I actually enjoyed this one a lot. A clever crossover and a funny twist ending :)

I like the panda comment at the end

EDIt I was reading through the comments above me, becvuase i didn't before, and i remebered how i was talking to this one guy about Halo Wars, i see him every day and everyday he defends it, must show him this. I keep trying to explain that RTS WILL NEVERRRRRRRRRR WORK ON A CONSOLE!, but he seems to be half deaf and ignorant to the fact that i'm right.

Absolutely brilliant crossover! I hope you do more of them in the future, as Zero Punctuation and Unskippable are my two favourite web-based pieces of pure entertainment art!

Grim Grimore was a fairly good RTS for a console.

Will there ever be a perfect console RTS?

This must've been the best review yet for many reasons:
1. The X-blades review shows us how special Yahtzee truly is. Anyone can make the videos, and the rant, and even the humour, but only Yahtzee gives it the punchline we all know and love.
2. This really was Yahtzee at his best. Lots of new ideas ( ...cant take this anymore.) And the rant in the end made me laugh SO HARD.
3. Yahtzee got to completely bum-rape a well known genre AND a franchise. And he had a reason.

only small complaint might that there really isn't any conclusion about the good points of the game. (then again, when is there?)

My dog died today, and this really cheered me up. Thanks YZ!

You both were hilarious, this was a good one.

Also oooh, Brandon Crisp reference. Too soon?

Probably not. I laughed. I'm going to hell.

God I can't stand Unskippable. I bet I get put on PROBATION for saying that, but I guess freedom of opinions don't apply here...like what happened to WrongSprite...

The moderators should be ashamed!

I love RTS games, but one of the best decsriptions of them I ever heard was: "You command by drawing a box with the left mouse button, then conquer by clicking the right mouse button."
Mind you, most FPS games boil down to "get the target in the centre of the screen and hold down a button until it dies"

On the RTS front, I'd say Play Company Of Heroes & Supreme Commander. If neither of those take your fancy, you probably just plain don't like RTS games.

AND NO MORE CROSSOVERS.

oh and just btw:
marines in halo aren't using power armor afaik, it's just normal armor, only the spartans use powered armor

Without a doubt, and my main strategy was to bum rape everything on teh screen with chimeras and dragons. Forgive with obvious harry potter references and it is very fun. I doubt yatzee would play it though because he hates JRPG's of any kind and some characters have unfeasible boobage, or am I thinking about Odin sphere. back to point, Dragon+faeries=bum rape

ajaja xD the face of yug on that troll was so fucking funny xD hahahaha also the trolls at the end taking over the show x3

Eternal Vigil:

Geo Da Sponge:

Eternal Vigil:
2. The whole point of that mission was to recover troops and return to your ship before it got sucked into a massive portal and they be trapped on the surface of the planet and chewed on by the alien hordes, hence the time limit. The 'We've lost contact' was about the ship, not your units.

Quoted for truth. I didn't particularly want to type the exact same thing that someone else has undoubtly said before, but I would like to bring this up again so that anyone else missing the point can understand.

EDIT: Wait, if Yahtzee didn't make it to the end of the game, he can't have seen the last few cinematics! No wonder he doesn't like them!

Overall, I would say what I always say about Halo Wars. You may not enjoy it, you may think it's a cash in, but it has had effort put in. Some games, eg. Lord of the Rings: Conquest look like they were squirted out in an afternoon. Games like that don't get nice prerendered cutscenes and (mostly) inventive missions.

Thanks for quoting me.

If he didn't finish it, he can't really give a fair view on it, my like I think his overall opinion on the entire franchise is a little biased as he's only played Halo 3, and that's one of the weakest in the series.

I agree. Ensemble really did put some effort in this game and making it more accessible to RTS newbies, and I think it's control scheme is better than the other console RTS' which are all ports.

I not going to deny the game have problems, as it does and it know where near the best RTS game ever made, but for what it is, and who's its aimed at, I don't think it came out that badly.

I read this thread as far as 8 pages, and between the frankly unreasonable prejudice against the Halo franchise and unwillingness to adapt to games trying new things or pay attention I don't think anyone should take this as holy writ that Halo Wars sucks. 80%+ of the posts here are "Halo (Wars) sucks because it's Halo!", "PC RTS ONLY, RAWR", and "LOL YAHTZEE". Seriously, some of these people should just try the GD demo and see for themselves. I think he really missed the point about vehicles; the upgrades to turret turning speed and other abilities highlight the place of infantry and the fact that you're supposed to experience traffic jams with heavy vehicle rushes.

This isn't to say the review wasn't funny (particularly the Pedigree Chum imps), but going into it with "this is a game for retards" as a preconception wasn't a good idea.

Best ZP ever
"BULL FUCKING SHIT!!"
LMAO

& Guest appearance FTW!!

Oh man. That caught me off guard a little.

Edit x2: LOL DISREGARD HAIRSPLITTING STATEMENT I SUCK

What arbitrary silliness! Funniest part of the whole episode

I had no idea X-Blade(s) was even out. Of course, watching an Americanized Japanese heroine going through a lot less interesting romp than her spiritual ancestor from Heavenly Sword has a large lack of appeal, much like Too Human and its Devil May Die syndrome.

As for Halo Wars, that clock thing was absolute BS. If the units are within a safety zone and there's no threats, the game can detect that. It just screams lazy level design. Hell, a lot of Halo Wars feels a bit lazy, but as he pointed out it is supposed to appeal to Halo fans thus you can't make a complex RTS based on an FPS without making it more accessable to the action gamers that are FPS players.

sacrilege! this only proves how much talent is needed to being a really good professional smugjerk, which is what I love about zeropunctuation and I wouldn't have it any other way.

on a sidenote, X-blades comes from Russia, and was originally called Onibleyd, published in 2007

Yay for dissing the RTS genre, the only thing you missed is that oh so WONDERFUL situtation where you spend all your time grinding and defending to try and get stronger, while your stronger opponent spends that time beating the crap out of you like an endless cycle which normally ends with you dying no matter what you try. The only way to stop something like that is to somehow bottle neck their attack, but that sounds too much like I actually care about those kind of games =P

Awesome, always good to hear the annoying problems with games that reviews overlook, but are a make or break element of a game.

Another great episode, funny intro.

Does this mean Ben's endorsing Unskippable?

I actually liked the crossover. Even if they aren't as good at least they tried.

I guess this was an attempt to help UnSkippable try and gain some of ZP's fanbase. An interesting idea that should work in theory but I think they underestimate just how many people will see it for what it is instead of just moaning that someone is stealing time from their weekly fix of yellow backgrounds.

Personally I found it quite good, watch unskipable anyway so I guess it wasn't aimed at me anyway :P

Both of their reviews were hilarious especialy the part about Yatzee running out of time on halo wars and the girl from x sword's imaginary thog strings. As an RTS fan I guess its my time to burst from under my rock and belch out The Battle for Middle Earth 2!

What did Yahtzee say after saying that the game is for losers?

best ZP ever!

amara2021:
Both of their reviews were hilarious especialy the part about Yatzee running out of time on halo wars and the girl from x sword's imaginary thog strings. As an RTS fan I guess its my time to burst from under my rock and belch out The Battle for Middle Earth 2!

Since you're an RTS fan, maybe you can give me some tips on a good RTS except Middle Earth, cause 1. I don't like Lord of The Rings (don't try to find me and assassinate me with your Legolas bow and your Frodo dagger cause I don't belong to the fan base, cause I still stand corrected, the book was too long, and the movies were horrible)and 2. I played The Battle for Middle Earth (no! I'm still not a fan or a hypocrite, I was 8, and that's the age where you don't have a free will, you just do whatever gets you friends...anyway, where was I? oh right) and when I played it the second time about a year ago, it's horrible quality scared me away so much I had to hide behind Starcraft so it couldn't hurt my brain anymore. Anyway...what was the question? Oh, right, any good RTS you know? (except Middle Earth 2) And I'm getting Starcraft 2, just so you know.

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