Zero Punctuation: Halo Wars

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"I have a horrible feeling that this statement will read like an engraved invitation for all the RTS fans to burst out from under rocks and belch their favorite titles at me..."

You are correct my good sir! Starcraft! Or wait for SC2, but I guarantee that you will have minimal complaints about it. I also notice that you have neglected to review ANY Blizzard games as of yet. I believe Blizzard is one of the most top-notch developers there is, and they deserve a Yahtzee review!

yay more crossover please... though seriously Yahtzee is funnier in Unskippable than vice-versa. but hey let's see a round 2 please.
Xblades does in deed suck.
so did Halo Wars

now review GTA CHINATOWN PLEASE as it must be GOTY!

I can't even get the whole thing to load. Been trying since Wednesday, but it always ends up dying at 70% and then if I try to refresh it won't play at all. It's only this week's episode, too.

3rd review in a row with an absolutley hilarious ending, well done Yahtzee

I'll ask again: Wtf was that imp thingy in the end? And who's idea was it? Was it Paul as he didn't contribute while Graham was at it?

(I think its a bit unfair that Yahtzee did well on Unskippable but Graham got kicked in the groin in Zero Punctuation...) Reason for liking Unskippable more is because Yahtzee got sloppy and quit adding alternative music at the start and end. I lived for that!

lol 6:19 Yahtzee loses it

oh my god yahtzee sounds so different when he takes pauses between comments

I laughed so hard a little pee came out :)

G+P's section was horrible. After watching their program I understand why :D

What is the deal with being the "first" to write a comment? Really who gives a ****?

Anyway,about Yahtzee's latest review, I seem to agree with him on most points. RTS games DO NOT translate well to consoles. I tried the demo and wasn't too impressed; seemed more like a dumbed down Starcraft to me.

LOL he was VERY pissed at the end, and I can't say I wouldn't be pissed too. I really hate time limit missions then end up having to start the whole damn thing over when you fail.

That said however, I'm anxiously waiting for Starcraft 2.

omg, I nearly cried at the ending of the review. Too damn funny. Fuck that!

xopher:
What is the deal with being the "first" to write a comment? Really who gives a ****?

Anyway,about Yahtzee's latest review, I seem to agree with him on most points. RTS games DO NOT translate well to consoles. I tried the demo and wasn't too impressed; seemed more like a dumbed down Starcraft to me.

LOL he was VERY pissed at the end, and I can't say I wouldn't be pissed too. I really hate time limit missions then end up having to start the whole damn thing over when you fail.

That said however, I'm anxiously waiting for Starcraft 2.

Is everyone going to speak up Starcraft here? Here's a reason why Yahtzee will hate Starcraft with all his being if he reviews it: It is the Halo of RTSs. It was innovative, yes. More than TEN YEARS AGO. Now Starcraft II is going to be about EXACTLY the same, with some units changed and a graphical upgrade. It will sell well? Of course. Halo sells well, it doesn't mean it is a good game in comparison to other action games. Neither is Starcraft nowdays. He complained about the pace of Halo Wars, which is too fast for an RTS. So even a game in the pace of Starcraft will be too slow. Like Yahtzee himself said, he doesn't have the patience to play a RTS (and probably would get urges to kill himself if he tried the more sophisticated, but also much more slow-paced RTSs out there). Look, Diablo did to RPGs what Starcraft does to RTSs, it completely ruined an outsider idea of the genre, and in part made a completely new approach to these genres that can be done by cookie-cutter by anyone. Now, tell me: Why do no Diablo clone or Starcraft clone (other than C&C, which had it's own fanbase already) is ever successful? Because the playstyle is boring and repetitive. Diablo and Starcraft only keep the success because the fans are real fanatics. They keep themselves restrained to the experience they had some dozen of years ago when it was new and never, ever let go.

No. I'm not a Blizzard hater. I love what they did to give credit to the gaming industry and thanks to WoW now it is actually acknowledged by the society. Also, I loved their games, in their golden days, when they were an interesting new idea in the plate. But I'll always bash a company that completely avoids evolving for reliance on a completely faithful fanbase that'll never allow them to change. Many may bash EA, but they use the economic stability given by their franchise series to let some devs take a chance every now and then. Blizzard seems to only be making the same game again and again for the last decade, without even at least reasonably evolving the concepts every now and then because the fanbase wouldn't allow it.

Lastly, if I can think of an RTS Yahtzee might enjoy, here's one: Sacrifice. It has a delightful new premise, it has a different gameplay, it has completely original art design and it is completely insane. Much like Psychonauts in the Action/adventure genre.

Yahtzee should review Noby Noby Boy next, it should give him some amusing material to work with.

Either that or GTA: Chinatown Wars.

SandroTheMaster:

xopher:
What is the deal with being the "first" to write a comment? Really who gives a ****?

Anyway,about Yahtzee's latest review, I seem to agree with him on most points. RTS games DO NOT translate well to consoles. I tried the demo and wasn't too impressed; seemed more like a dumbed down Starcraft to me.

LOL he was VERY pissed at the end, and I can't say I wouldn't be pissed too. I really hate time limit missions then end up having to start the whole damn thing over when you fail.

That said however, I'm anxiously waiting for Starcraft 2.

Is everyone going to speak up Starcraft here? Here's a reason why Yahtzee will hate Starcraft with all his being if he reviews it: It is the Halo of RTSs. It was innovative, yes. More than TEN YEARS AGO. Now Starcraft II is going to be about EXACTLY the same, with some units changed and a graphical upgrade. It will sell well? Of course. Halo sells well, it doesn't mean it is a good game in comparison to other action games. Neither is Starcraft nowdays. He complained about the pace of Halo Wars, which is too fast for an RTS. So even a game in the pace of Starcraft will be too slow. Like Yahtzee himself said, he doesn't have the patience to play a RTS (and probably would get urges to kill himself if he tried the more sophisticated, but also much more slow-paced RTSs out there). Look, Diablo did to RPGs what Starcraft does to RTSs, it completely ruined an outsider idea of the genre, and in part made a completely new approach to these genres that can be done by cookie-cutter by anyone. Now, tell me: Why do no Diablo clone or Starcraft clone (other than C&C, which had it's own fanbase already) is ever successful? Because the playstyle is boring and repetitive. Diablo and Starcraft only keep the success because the fans are real fanatics. They keep themselves restrained to the experience they had some dozen of years ago when it was new and never, ever let go.

No. I'm not a Blizzard hater. I love what they did to give credit to the gaming industry and thanks to WoW now it is actually acknowledged by the society. Also, I loved their games, in their golden days, when they were an interesting new idea in the plate. But I'll always bash a company that completely avoids evolving for reliance on a completely faithful fanbase that'll never allow them to change. Many may bash EA, but they use the economic stability given by their franchise series to let some devs take a chance every now and then. Blizzard seems to only be making the same game again and again for the last decade, without even at least reasonably evolving the concepts every now and then because the fanbase wouldn't allow it.

Lastly, if I can think of an RTS Yahtzee might enjoy, here's one: Sacrifice. It has a delightful new premise, it has a different gameplay, it has completely original art design and it is completely insane. Much like Psychonauts in the Action/adventure genre.

Believe it or not, people STILL like RTS's. I (and MANY people) have been waiting for Starcraft 2 since beating the first one 10 years ago. Fans have been begging Blizzard for a sequel for ages and after a while it seemed they wouldn't make it; even though we get 2 Warcraft sequels. I'm not sure how Starcraft will be and neither do you. I'm hoping Blizzard DOES bring new things to the table this time around. If the game is good, great, if not then I will say as such. Don't bash fans because of what game they like. Personally, I hate EA games like Madden, NBA Live, etc because I think it's the same crap year after year with just new gimmicks, but some people do like them, and I don't criticize them for doing so. And no, I seriously doubt Yahtzee will hate a game JUST because many other people like it. I have seen ALL his reviews and it's obvious he can think for himself and could care less about what other people think about a game.

Speaking of which of RTS's, they are the only Blizzard games I like, I don't think I could get into WoW and never really got into Diablo. To me RTS's are a break from the typical shoot em up games these days. Speaking of shoot em ups, I now despise Halo, sure it was fun when I played it, but I can't even play it anymore, and I doubt I will be getting anymore Halo games. Additionally, The COD series got VERY old prior to Modern Warfare and I wasn't going to buy anymore COD games if they were only going to be WWII based. COD4 was a godsend and I have no idea why they decided to go BACK to WWII with COD:WAW needless to say I won't get WAW, WWII games are played out and over produced. Blizzard never had a sequel for Starcraft so at least give them a chance to see what they come up with. Like I said if it sucks, I will say as such, but in either case I'm anxious to see the game.

I will however have to check out that Sacrifice game that you mentioned. I'm reading the synopsis now, and seems like an interesting concept.

i loved the crossover, you should try it again in a few months.

in regards to halo wars, i expected this to happen. ive never understood why developers try to move something from one control system to another without modifying anything to justify it.

It is official that Halo Wars has to be one of the worst RTS games that has come out in the past decade. It is no joke either. Compared to more resent RTS games from the past 3 years Halo Wars seems like something from the 90s, and I wasn't a good fan of 90s RTS games all but a few which focused on field tactics over army/resource managment. I bought Empire Total War, it is apsolutely amazing, and I didn't like really the earlier Total War games, just the napoleonic age of warfare is something that few RTS games really focus on and yet do sucha nice job at it, naval battles are *hearts* ground battles are just as nice.

I thought Starcraft and the C&C series was crap, and Halo Wars looks like a primitive version of StarCraft... so you can see how I view the game. lol

In a normal case I would be alarmed at a cross-over; them often being little more than a desperate way for two shows to find unity in their own decline and attempt to leach onto eachothers fan-bases as a pair of starving -- well... leaches.

Therefore I am almost ashamed to admit that it worked. Though not previously having payed any heed to the passable advertisement for some kind of "unskippable" series I today found myself sitting through the entire season and will probably, at least in the short term, continue to follow it. Damn you Yahtzee, you mastermind!

xopher:

Believe it or not, people STILL like RTS's. I (and MANY people) have been waiting for Starcraft 2 since beating the first one 10 years ago. Fans have been begging Blizzard for a sequel for ages and after a while it seemed they wouldn't make it; even though we get 2 Warcraft sequels. I'm not sure how Starcraft will be and neither do you. I'm hoping Blizzard DOES bring new things to the table this time around. If the game is good, great, if not then I will say as such. Don't bash fans because of what game they like. Personally, I hate EA games like Madden, NBA Live, etc because I think it's the same crap year after year with just new gimmicks, but some people do like them, and I don't criticize them for doing so. And no, I seriously doubt Yahtzee will hate a game JUST because many other people like it. I have seen ALL his reviews and it's obvious he can think for himself and could care less about what other people think about a game.

Speaking of which of RTS's, they are the only Blizzard games I like, I don't think I could get into WoW and never really got into Diablo. To me RTS's are a break from the typical shoot em up games these days. Speaking of shoot em ups, I now despise Halo, sure it was fun when I played it, but I can't even play it anymore, and I doubt I will be getting anymore Halo games. Additionally, The COD series got VERY old prior to Modern Warfare and I wasn't going to buy anymore COD games if they were only going to be WWII based. COD4 was a godsend and I have no idea why they decided to go BACK to WWII with COD:WAW needless to say I won't get WAW, WWII games are played out and over produced. Blizzard never had a sequel for Starcraft so at least give them a chance to see what they come up with. Like I said if it sucks, I will say as such, but in either case I'm anxious to see the game.

I will however have to check out that Sacrifice game that you mentioned. I'm reading the synopsis now, and seems like an interesting concept.

I never said people don't like RTS. I love RTS, it is one of my favorite genres. I'm just saying that I'm so far unimpressed with SCII (and I've seem more than a few alpha playtests). Look for my posts in the last page, I explain why.

Now, about EA, they at least deserve some credit. Sure they sell the same cookie-cutter every year, but if it sells so well, who can blame them? What is commendable is how they don't keep only with their cookie-cutter (like, well, Blizzard). They're paying for the upcoming Dragon Age and Dante's Inferno, two games with new interesting concepts. While they also launched Dead Space and Mirror Edge (which are new different takes on FPSs, regardless what Yahtzee said). So it is not so bad, really. Tell, me: Does it seems like Blizzard is making any real change's with SCII? Or better yet, in Diablo III? Is it anything new? Hells, the greatest change's I've seem in Diablo III were being mercilessly bashed by fans (Witch Doctors and new Art concept), so they even backed out for one of these (Art Concept).

awesome reference to Battle Royale! best japanese movie of all time!!

RowdyRukia:
awesome reference to Battle Royale! best japanese movie of all time!!

No no no no...

Final Fantasy Advent Children, Best Japanese movie ever period

Best Japanese movie is clearly Godzilla. You know... the one from 1998.

Anyway, this review was great.

SandroTheMaster:

xopher:

Believe it or not, people STILL like RTS's. I (and MANY people) have been waiting for Starcraft 2 since beating the first one 10 years ago. Fans have been begging Blizzard for a sequel for ages and after a while it seemed they wouldn't make it; even though we get 2 Warcraft sequels. I'm not sure how Starcraft will be and neither do you. I'm hoping Blizzard DOES bring new things to the table this time around. If the game is good, great, if not then I will say as such. Don't bash fans because of what game they like. Personally, I hate EA games like Madden, NBA Live, etc because I think it's the same crap year after year with just new gimmicks, but some people do like them, and I don't criticize them for doing so. And no, I seriously doubt Yahtzee will hate a game JUST because many other people like it. I have seen ALL his reviews and it's obvious he can think for himself and could care less about what other people think about a game.

Speaking of which of RTS's, they are the only Blizzard games I like, I don't think I could get into WoW and never really got into Diablo. To me RTS's are a break from the typical shoot em up games these days. Speaking of shoot em ups, I now despise Halo, sure it was fun when I played it, but I can't even play it anymore, and I doubt I will be getting anymore Halo games. Additionally, The COD series got VERY old prior to Modern Warfare and I wasn't going to buy anymore COD games if they were only going to be WWII based. COD4 was a godsend and I have no idea why they decided to go BACK to WWII with COD:WAW needless to say I won't get WAW, WWII games are played out and over produced. Blizzard never had a sequel for Starcraft so at least give them a chance to see what they come up with. Like I said if it sucks, I will say as such, but in either case I'm anxious to see the game.

I will however have to check out that Sacrifice game that you mentioned. I'm reading the synopsis now, and seems like an interesting concept.

I never said people don't like RTS. I love RTS, it is one of my favorite genres. I'm just saying that I'm so far unimpressed with SCII (and I've seem more than a few alpha playtests). Look for my posts in the last page, I explain why.

Now, about EA, they at least deserve some credit. Sure they sell the same cookie-cutter every year, but if it sells so well, who can blame them? What is commendable is how they don't keep only with their cookie-cutter (like, well, Blizzard). They're paying for the upcoming Dragon Age and Dante's Inferno, two games with new interesting concepts. While they also launched Dead Space and Mirror Edge (which are new different takes on FPSs, regardless what Yahtzee said). So it is not so bad, really. Tell, me: Does it seems like Blizzard is making any real change's with SCII? Or better yet, in Diablo III? Is it anything new? Hells, the greatest change's I've seem in Diablo III were being mercilessly bashed by fans (Witch Doctors and new Art concept), so they even backed out for one of these (Art Concept).

Ok I get your point now.

To answer your questions about Blizz, I've never played Diablo so I wouldn't know what is new with Diablo 3. But as far as SCII, based on the videos I've seen, nope, nothing really new, but I will have to see the final product before I make a final determination. Blizzard did however bring something new to the table with Warcraft 3, with the introduction of "Heros". Many fans didn't like it, but I did. To me I think WC3 was a big improvement over WC2, and I guess I am kind of expecting the same with SC2. I haven't seen the SC2 vids in a while, so I can't remember if there were "heroes" in it, but I would welcome them.

When the game is FINALLY released, you may be right and it may end up being the same game as the original. but as of right now I'm just welcoming a sequel as I have been waiting so long for one; I just hope its worth the wait. The last few sequels I have bought have been a bit underwhelming (GOW2, Ninja Gaiden 2, GTAIV,)

the point of RTS's is Massacre

pretend that the opposing side is a village of people you hate and it will all make sense

the panda quote is going to be placed in my lexicon from now on!!

Wow, Yahtzee must really suck at RTS. And for constantly complaining about RPG's, shooters, and now RTS's, I'm wondering if he's even a fan of gaming.

go Yahtzee

Kogarian:
Wow, Yahtzee must really suck at RTS. And for constantly complaining about RPG's, shooters, and now RTS's, I'm wondering if he's even a fan of gaming.

I honestly can't see why you would make a statement like this, unless you were joking or being sarcastic. If so, that's hilarious! If not, I think your statement is completely backwards. The only way games can be better over time is through constructive criticism, or as you call it, complaining. You can't simply be content with games because then they fall into the trap of constant sequels, ripping off each other, and regurgitation of the same crap over and over again-- wait, we're already there.

MGT-Orion:

Kogarian:
Wow, Yahtzee must really suck at RTS. And for constantly complaining about RPG's, shooters, and now RTS's, I'm wondering if he's even a fan of gaming.

I honestly can't see why you would make a statement like this, unless you were joking or being sarcastic. If so, that's hilarious! If not, I think your statement is completely backwards. The only way games can be better over time is through constructive criticism, or as you call it, complaining. You can't simply be content with games because then they fall into the trap of constant sequels, ripping off each other, and regurgitation of the same crap over and over again-- wait, we're already there.

Can anyone say Megaman 9 ten times fast? Oh, wait! What about Hyper Street Fighter 2 3D Turbo... I mean, Street Fighter 4. Really, considering the praise these two are having from the gaming community, I say we deserve this kind of treatment from the industry...

the first guy that was talking needs to not talk.

first!

edit: nevermind I was like a week behind :(

anyway, hilarious as always. BTW: the only good RTS that was EVER on a console EVER was Dune on the Genesis. It rocked.

After years of testing, it's obvious that RTS's do NOT belong on a console system. There are too many things to micromanage and too little control with the console controller that is just clunky when it comes to working in this capacity.

Okey if anyone here actually watches Unskippable. It's Very different to ZP. They made a bet that it wasn't so hard and Graham came over to ZP to try. He was completely out of his normal way of reviewing and did a pretty damned good job so stop bitching about it he isn't going to be permanently on ZP and it was a guest so why are we stabbing Unskippable? freaking trolls.

you know i have seen this countless times ad just realized, that well...sheep are dumb as hell andthere all the same they can't get any dumber (I know I have worked with sheep)

xopher:

SandroTheMaster:

xopher:

Believe it or not, people STILL like RTS's. I (and MANY people) have been waiting for Starcraft 2 since beating the first one 10 years ago. Fans have been begging Blizzard for a sequel for ages and after a while it seemed they wouldn't make it; even though we get 2 Warcraft sequels. I'm not sure how Starcraft will be and neither do you. I'm hoping Blizzard DOES bring new things to the table this time around. If the game is good, great, if not then I will say as such. Don't bash fans because of what game they like. Personally, I hate EA games like Madden, NBA Live, etc because I think it's the same crap year after year with just new gimmicks, but some people do like them, and I don't criticize them for doing so. And no, I seriously doubt Yahtzee will hate a game JUST because many other people like it. I have seen ALL his reviews and it's obvious he can think for himself and could care less about what other people think about a game.

Speaking of which of RTS's, they are the only Blizzard games I like, I don't think I could get into WoW and never really got into Diablo. To me RTS's are a break from the typical shoot em up games these days. Speaking of shoot em ups, I now despise Halo, sure it was fun when I played it, but I can't even play it anymore, and I doubt I will be getting anymore Halo games. Additionally, The COD series got VERY old prior to Modern Warfare and I wasn't going to buy anymore COD games if they were only going to be WWII based. COD4 was a godsend and I have no idea why they decided to go BACK to WWII with COD:WAW needless to say I won't get WAW, WWII games are played out and over produced. Blizzard never had a sequel for Starcraft so at least give them a chance to see what they come up with. Like I said if it sucks, I will say as such, but in either case I'm anxious to see the game.

I will however have to check out that Sacrifice game that you mentioned. I'm reading the synopsis now, and seems like an interesting concept.

I never said people don't like RTS. I love RTS, it is one of my favorite genres. I'm just saying that I'm so far unimpressed with SCII (and I've seem more than a few alpha playtests). Look for my posts in the last page, I explain why.

Now, about EA, they at least deserve some credit. Sure they sell the same cookie-cutter every year, but if it sells so well, who can blame them? What is commendable is how they don't keep only with their cookie-cutter (like, well, Blizzard). They're paying for the upcoming Dragon Age and Dante's Inferno, two games with new interesting concepts. While they also launched Dead Space and Mirror Edge (which are new different takes on FPSs, regardless what Yahtzee said). So it is not so bad, really. Tell, me: Does it seems like Blizzard is making any real change's with SCII? Or better yet, in Diablo III? Is it anything new? Hells, the greatest change's I've seem in Diablo III were being mercilessly bashed by fans (Witch Doctors and new Art concept), so they even backed out for one of these (Art Concept).

Ok I get your point now.

To answer your questions about Blizz, I've never played Diablo so I wouldn't know what is new with Diablo 3. But as far as SCII, based on the videos I've seen, nope, nothing really new, but I will have to see the final product before I make a final determination. Blizzard did however bring something new to the table with Warcraft 3, with the introduction of "Heros". Many fans didn't like it, but I did. To me I think WC3 was a big improvement over WC2, and I guess I am kind of expecting the same with SC2. I haven't seen the SC2 vids in a while, so I can't remember if there were "heroes" in it, but I would welcome them.

When the game is FINALLY released, you may be right and it may end up being the same game as the original. but as of right now I'm just welcoming a sequel as I have been waiting so long for one; I just hope its worth the wait. The last few sequels I have bought have been a bit underwhelming (GOW2, Ninja Gaiden 2, GTAIV,)

The Hero Stuff in WC3 wasn't really something new. It was just a copied idea of some other RTS game. Sorry, I can't remember the name because that game was a Warcraft 1 clone. So too long ago for my simple little nerdiness. Maybe the Blizzard guys not did that on purpose. Trying to reinvent the wheel is too low, even for them. However, let's try to think what Starcraft did to the RTS. Starcraft named the tactical maneuver, which is just building as many units as you can and bomb them at the enemy no matter how high the losses would be. Short: To zerg. And unfortunatly that's all you did in Starcraft.

In Warcraft 3 they made things different. At least a little, because you wern't able to 'zerg' with one type of unit. But in the end there also was an ultimate strategy for each race. They even have a measurement for the skill in Warcraft 3. But "Actions per minute" sounds to me just like, who is the faster guy and not who is the guy with the better strategy. So learn the ultimate strategy for every single map/race and become faster is the whole idea in Multiplayer? I simply can not recommend that.

For RTS there is only one game that i know of, where strategy things are made completly different. By having the need to spying on the enemy to even be able to counter his attacks by building the unit, which is able to do that and meanwhile do something own to attack the enemy, Supreme Commander made the best RTS concept so far. Even C&C can't keep up with the high priority on military intelligence. OK, you also are in need to be fast, but you not just build the units, which you build every single time.

All in all it's disappointing, that Warcraft and Starcraft made the Army of braidless mainstream gamers even larger. Good for me that i'm lazy and slow, so i usually play turn based strategy games, where you should be only in need for the best strategy. Unfortunatly there wasn't any good game since Etherlords, which only copied the concept of Magic the Gathering. But that's what i ment about, copying a concept is OK as long as you do it right (in my last post).

Yahtzee, you malinformed frood,
To select all your flying pricks you press LB + Right trigger till you have flying pricks selected.
Complete agree about the pathfinding issues though, very annoying.
And what was all that bull at the start?
Away with that tosspot.
:)

Jallis370:
I'll ask again: Wtf was that imp thingy in the end? And who's idea was it? Was it Paul as he didn't contribute while Graham was at it?

(I think its a bit unfair that Yahtzee did well on Unskippable but Graham got kicked in the groin in Zero Punctuation...) Reason for liking Unskippable more is because Yahtzee got sloppy and quit adding alternative music at the start and end. I lived for that!

wow complaining about the music at the end aye? ever heard about copyright you stupid cunt.

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