Zero Punctuation: Halo Wars

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skathe:
first!

edit: nevermind I was like a week behind :(

anyway, hilarious as always. BTW: the only good RTS that was EVER on a console EVER was Dune on the Genesis. It rocked.

After years of testing, it's obvious that RTS's do NOT belong on a console system. There are too many things to micromanage and too little control with the console controller that is just clunky when it comes to working in this capacity.

Exactly, why did Bungie even bother making this game for the 360. RTS games are meant to be played with mouse and keyboard; not a controller with 8 buttons. Didn't blizzard try that a while ago with SC on the Nintendo 64?

xopher:

skathe:
first!

edit: nevermind I was like a week behind :(

anyway, hilarious as always. BTW: the only good RTS that was EVER on a console EVER was Dune on the Genesis. It rocked.

After years of testing, it's obvious that RTS's do NOT belong on a console system. There are too many things to micromanage and too little control with the console controller that is just clunky when it comes to working in this capacity.

Exactly, why did Bungie even bother making this game for the 360. RTS games are meant to be played with mouse and keyboard; not a controller with 8 buttons. Didn't blizzard try that a while ago with SC on the Nintendo 64?

Bungie didn't it was Ensemble studios, the makers of RTS games such as Age of Empires (correct me if i'm wrong)

Awesome final joke and I 100% agree with him... RTS is a no go for consoles.

xopher:

skathe:
first!

edit: nevermind I was like a week behind :(

anyway, hilarious as always. BTW: the only good RTS that was EVER on a console EVER was Dune on the Genesis. It rocked.

After years of testing, it's obvious that RTS's do NOT belong on a console system. There are too many things to micromanage and too little control with the console controller that is just clunky when it comes to working in this capacity.

Exactly, why did Bungie even bother making this game for the 360. RTS games are meant to be played with mouse and keyboard; not a controller with 8 buttons. Didn't blizzard try that a while ago with SC on the Nintendo 64?

Quite successfully as well, sadly hot keys didn't exist to any useful degree, but it wasn't much different from the PC version, split screen multiplayer was always fun on StarCraft on the N64, it was better on the PC however it wasn't a bad game on the N64.

Well i crawled out from under my rock to make an account and post!
I don't think any rts game your going to play is really going to rock your world, It's all about the build up and smash and some games want you to try to do more, But versus any AI build population limit of biggest tank/aeroplane/face roll across map and your done.

However Starcraft does have a decent storyline there are certainly plenty of bullshit missions between you and the end of the story, but overall learning to use the units and playing through the campaign was rewarding for me, More so than most other Rts games i play.

I also think playing it would give you a good retrospect of Blizzard then and now.

I have mixed feelings about the RTS genere in general. I personally think the reigning champ is Dawn of War: Soulstorm, but yeah... I don't think such games can be done correctly on consoles as they exist now.

Now if they ever decided to do something like integrate the technology from a Nintendo DS into a controller for a console (which would be expensive) you might have some kind of stylus control attached to what your doing on the big screen, and could somehow select and move units that way.

However it's a very expensive and obtuse work around for what a mouse and keyboard do much more easily.

Oh and as I said before, Dynasty Warriors Gundam 2 is coming out soon. I still implore the owners of the Escapist to assign the game to Yahtzee so we can be entertained by his screams. Perhaps required half hour show dedicated to that game?

<rubs hands together ghoulishly>

I just need to say, that panda thing at the end, one of the best jokes I've ever heard.

OMG the last minute or two for the review of halo wars is so funny.

so many quote worthy moments.

I can tell by Yahtzee's reactions to the word JRPG that he's never played Tales of Symphonia. Missin' out, man, missin' out. Both segments were funny, and I'll congratulate the man from Unskippable who sounds like Mike Nelson on a good effort. Keep it up, I'll look forward to it.

ssjSephiroth:
I can tell by Yahtzee's reactions to the word JRPG that he's never played Tales of Symphonia. Missin' out, man, missin' out. Both segments were funny, and I'll congratulate the man from Unskippable who sounds like Mike Nelson on a good effort. Keep it up, I'll look forward to it.

He didn't hate The World Ends With You... but he didn't exactly love it either. His qualms with JRPGs is about the same I have, and, UNLESS Tales of Symphonia is completely different to other JRPGs in that it actually gives you choice to, you know, roleplay and make actual decisions instead of just carrying the protagonist from point A to point B to trigger scripts (not counting secrets that are completely obscure and unidentifiable withing the game), then I don't know how he could come to like it any more than any other JRPGs out there.

I did play a demo of it though, and besides the... interesting combat mechanics, it didn't look to be that different from the regular JRPG, so I guess you're out of luck.

toapat:
the things wrong with Halo Wars are:
A: console game
B: Halo has sucked in every way since Halo 1
C: console game
D: not made by Blizzard
E: the game's gameplay is primarily based off of a futuristic version of Age of Mythology's gameplay
F: console game
G: not made by Blizzard

Fanboy much?

Yahtzee was obviously hysterical but thats no surprise honestly. I was surprised with Grahams review. I have seen many insults and critiques towards him on this board but really, did any of you actually listen to what he said? Do you have your heads so far up Yhatzees ass that you cant see a funny analogy when it doesnt come with a British accent said in Australian vernacular. And why would any of you be under the impression its going to happen every week. eh i dont want to rant its to early in the morning and im naturally pissed off because it is, then again it could be becasue I really believe that pregnancy is the #1 most common STD and internet boards are blatant proof of that. I just want to give credit where credit is due and i think that most of the detritus (or as my mom calls them "human beings") that frequent this board have been so spoiled on yahtzees humor that they can't appreciate anything else. Not that I dont get that, i mean i do, yahtzee has perhaps made me laugh more than any one human being ever and i mean that, but i guess my point is if you gave yahtzee Grahams script everyone would be lauding it as another amazing installment instead of the criticizing just because its him. Like i said credit where credit is due. Anyway i shall STFU now, As no one cares what the hell I think anyway.

"What are you guys doing in the toilet?"

"Its where we record."

"Oh well, budge over."

Very comical.

Lol! The guy from Unskippable really didn't know how to do that :P.

Btw, what's up with all the guys getting banned/suspended?

vennom:
Yahtzee was obviously hysterical but thats no surprise honestly. I was surprised with Grahams review. I have seen many insults and critiques towards him on this board but really, did any of you actually listen to what he said? Do you have your heads so far up Yhatzees ass that you cant see a funny analogy when it doesnt come with a British accent said in Australian vernacular. And why would any of you be under the impression its going to happen every week. eh i dont want to rant its to early in the morning and im naturally pissed off because it is, then again it could be becasue I really believe that pregnancy is the #1 most common STD and internet boards are blatant proof of that. I just want to give credit where credit is due and i think that most of the detritus (or as my mom calls them "human beings") that frequent this board have been so spoiled on yahtzees humor that they can't appreciate anything else. Not that I dont get that, i mean i do, yahtzee has perhaps made me laugh more than any one human being ever and i mean that, but i guess my point is if you gave yahtzee Grahams script everyone would be lauding it as another amazing installment instead of the criticizing just because its him. Like i said credit where credit is due. Anyway i shall STFU now, As no one cares what the hell I think anyway.

QFT

Well, the intro left me somewhat confused. At first i thought yahtzee had taken a vacation and was very sad.
Also i agree that in most rts the infantry are useless as soon as tanks are avalable, the only exception (that i know of) is Company of Heroes where infantry are an absolute requirement at all times.
And everybody has known that rts doesnt work on consoles since the days the first command and conquer was put on a console. There are some good turn based ones though like advanced wars.

Noice

CarbonEagle:
Well, the intro left me somewhat confused. At first i thought yahtzee had taken a vacation and was very sad.
Also i agree that in most rts the infantry are useless as soon as tanks are avalable, the only exception (that i know of) is Company of Heroes where infantry are an absolute requirement at all times.
And everybody has known that rts doesnt work on consoles since the days the first command and conquer was put on a console. There are some good turn based ones though like advanced wars.

Same for me. I have never watched Unskippable before and just thought some American fag had kidnapped Yahtzee and took over ZP, hoping his trying to be witty banter would disguis his crime and we would be none the wiser.

Happy Birthday, Yug. I love you. Hard. In mouth.

I rather enjoyed the imps at the end.

Although I don't completely understand the joke with the imps, I thought the entire video was well done and held the classic ZP nature. However, I do have to say that it would have been nice if Graham or Paul spoke a little faster during their review so that he could get more jokes in, but you could tell he was trying his best and so for a first timer I was impressed ^__^

"so many tanks that would make general patton embarresed" XD
so typical!

I didn't love the unskippable part.

That Mission 10 joke was funny as hell. Nice and unskippable was alright.

With how many pages these comments go to I'm sure someone else has mentioned it too, but I felt compelled to point out that he was wrong when he was talking about difficulties selecting units.

He mentioned how you can select one unit, a small group of units, all units on screen, or all units on the map, but then gave an example how if you wanted to get a bunch of specific air born units and move them exclusively it isn't really possible. Well, infact it is possible:

Select all units then press Right Trigger to cycle through your units to the specific air born ones you want to move, then issue the move command. Though you still have all units selected, only the specific one you focused your selection down to will actually go where you say. You can then press B to cancel your more detailed selection and go back to the more general selection of units. It's really fast an easy to do.

But other then that, funny review. I definately had a timed level screw me over just like he mentioned, drove me nuts! xD

I found the random x-blades review to be quite funny, sure hes not 'yahtzee funny' but I was laughing.
I love the rts genre but on consoles? lol what a wast of time and money. Its never going to work, developers should just stop trying.

Would be nice if yahtzee was a little more open minded about rts', they're not all the same as he seemed to imply. The genre now spans everything from excessive micromanagement with long ass investment(supreme commander for example) all the way up to no base building and super fast rpg style gameplay(dawn of war 2).

If he was judging the entirety of these games on the laughably horrible example that is halo wars no wonder he still thinks they're all shite. Halo Wars is bogged down on ancient game design as well as a franchise that frankly has less inspiring originality than a pile of dog turds.

vennom:
Yahtzee was obviously hysterical but thats no surprise honestly. I was surprised with Grahams review. I have seen many insults and critiques towards him on this board but really, did any of you actually listen to what he said? Do you have your heads so far up Yhatzees ass that you cant see a funny analogy when it doesnt come with a British accent said in Australian vernacular. And why would any of you be under the impression its going to happen every week. eh i dont want to rant its to early in the morning and im naturally pissed off because it is, then again it could be becasue I really believe that pregnancy is the #1 most common STD and internet boards are blatant proof of that. I just want to give credit where credit is due and i think that most of the detritus (or as my mom calls them "human beings") that frequent this board have been so spoiled on yahtzees humor that they can't appreciate anything else. Not that I dont get that, i mean i do, yahtzee has perhaps made me laugh more than any one human being ever and i mean that, but i guess my point is if you gave yahtzee Grahams script everyone would be lauding it as another amazing installment instead of the criticizing just because its him. Like i said credit where credit is due. Anyway i shall STFU now, As no one cares what the hell I think anyway.

AAA... Wall of text hurts my eyes.

If you are going to come onto a forum and proceed to insult its entire population with an angry rant referring to them as 'detritus', first off try using paragraphs because then you might actually have more people read your post and give you the argument you seem to want to start.

I loved this one.
Admittedly the Unskippable duo havent got the same timing as Yahtzee, but they still gave me a few laughs.

Also, the Battle Royale reference had me pissing myself.
But I've noticed that I forget everything Yahtzee says about a game about 5 minutes after I watch it because Im too busy thinking about all the amazing phrases in it.

Yahtzee, you always outdo yourself. Hilarious. More Unskippable crossovers, please. Great stuff.

Panda bit -- priceless.

The closest break through into the RTS-range of dynamic gaming face-bleeds was Disciples 2. The RPG elements mixed with a grander RTS-style world element helped me to like it a lot more. Other than that though, my friend keeps saying I should play Starcraft. A comment that, like most things, ends up getting being shoveled into my ear and getting strained out the other as I start to care less.

vennom:
Yahtzee was obviously hysterical but thats no surprise honestly. I was surprised with Grahams review. I have seen many insults and critiques towards him on this board but really, did any of you actually listen to what he said? Do you have your heads so far up Yhatzees ass that you cant see a funny analogy when it doesnt come with a British accent said in Australian vernacular. And why would any of you be under the impression its going to happen every week. eh i dont want to rant its to early in the morning and im naturally pissed off because it is, then again it could be becasue I really believe that pregnancy is the #1 most common STD and internet boards are blatant proof of that. I just want to give credit where credit is due and i think that most of the detritus (or as my mom calls them "human beings") that frequent this board have been so spoiled on yahtzees humor that they can't appreciate anything else. Not that I dont get that, i mean i do, yahtzee has perhaps made me laugh more than any one human being ever and i mean that, but i guess my point is if you gave yahtzee Grahams script everyone would be lauding it as another amazing installment instead of the criticizing just because its him. Like i said credit where credit is due. Anyway i shall STFU now, As no one cares what the hell I think anyway.

Factor out the wall of text/grammatical errors and I agree with this.

It's almost as though people are so driven to believe that only Benjamin can do what he does, and any attempts to show that someone else might be able to are pointless.

I really enjoyed Graham's segment, I thought it was a refreshing change to have a different take on gaming.

So, since you Yahtzee fanboys communicate primarily through Zero Punctutation quotes, references, and paraphrases, then this one could work...

"I never really understood the almost crusader-like fervor that consoles attract..."

Yahtzee is now getting that which he criticized in one of his own videos.

Somone does need to come up with some better RTS ideas, I was hoping Halo Wars was going to be the one to do it... yeah not so much.

LazyAza:
I found the random x-blades review to be quite funny, sure hes not 'yahtzee funny' but I was laughing.
I love the rts genre but on consoles? lol what a wast of time and money. Its never going to work, developers should just stop trying.

Would be nice if yahtzee was a little more open minded about rts', they're not all the same as he seemed to imply. The genre now spans everything from excessive micromanagement with long ass investment(supreme commander for example) all the way up to no base building and super fast rpg style gameplay(dawn of war 2).

If he was judging the entirety of these games on the laughably horrible example that is halo wars no wonder he still thinks they're all shite. Halo Wars is bogged down on ancient game design as well as a franchise that frankly has less inspiring originality than a pile of dog turds.

I agree, but if you try to micromanage in Sup Com you're going to be screwed. It's a game that small maneuvers and tactics are horrendously outclassed by thinking on a strategical level and economic finesse. Maybe when you're controlling your commander and trying something fancy like hitting an experimental with his death-ray, but Sup Com is about Macromanagement, not micro.

I wonder if Yahtzee ever played the original C&C games, those are classics. It's to bad EA bought out westwood though :(

nova18:

But I've noticed that I forget everything Yahtzee says about a game about 5 minutes after I watch it because Im too busy thinking about all the amazing phrases in it.

A making of would be awesome. :>

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