Zero Punctuation: Halo Wars

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Aaahhhhh! Don't kill Graham! Nooooo...!

The x-blades review wasn't funny. Graham needed to talk way faster. I loved the last review. It was fantastic.

Eternal Vigil:

SaneIntolerant:

Eternal Vigil:

SaneIntolerant:

Eternal Vigil:

SaneIntolerant:

Eternal Vigil:
1. The enemy in that level regnerates over time, so they could of easily been enemy units on the map.

I was under the impression he was at the point where the 3rd Pelican had been shot down and was leading the marines back to the base for extraction.

No. He spoke about running out of time as he was leading his forces back after the Pelican went down.

I explained why he failed that mission.

I think we're talking about the same part of the mission. You rescue the first two squads and get whatever special unit(s) they have, but on the third squad the Pelican is shot down so you need to lead the squad to extraction point. I don't think you absolutely need to clear out all the enemies just to lead them back

Also, he probably didn't listen when he was told to blast that generator thing with the Gremlin's EMP to add more time.

Indeed.

He must of run out of time when escorting them back, and as I said in my original post, the enemy's bases regnerate over time, so enemies could have easily been spawning on the map in the fog of war.

I agree that he probably ignored the plyons.

Well, he did mention that he cleared out the way. And as I said, I don't think new enemies prevent you from finishing the last part of the level. So the obvious answer is that Yahtzee rushed in, got in over his head, missed the part about the pylons, and took considerably longer than he should have.

I say that mission was hard to get through, and I did use tanks and Wolverines to get through it, after chipping away at each base.

I concur with that scenario.

I'd like to add, just because I'm part of Halo's fanbase, I haven't ever had the inclination to fornicate with a dog.

I did once, but then it turns out it was an anthro dog and I was a furry.

...shit, did I say that out loud?

x-blades review was funny but only a bit, though the Halo Wars thing was awesome I think Yahtzee should try out the Total War series sort of an RTS mixed with Civ, so the next gen hybrid and Stormrise is actually quite excellent. It has this weird new element of multiple layered combat which enables you to have units in a building shooting at units 2-4 stories down. Also the whip system works to satisfaction, still the mouse is the king of RTS and FPS land but this is definitely a step closer to a easy to control console RTS.

Mischiviktus:
Did anyone besides me here ACTUALLY watch it, or just LOLRUN here to attempt a ZOMG I R FURST, I M SHPESHAL!!!...?

you ever played starcraft?, you know the whole "ZERG RUSH" tactic?, I think the groups who post nonsensical bullshit on a yahtzee thread within the first 30 fucking seconds should be known as "ZOMG RUSH".

Also, well fucking done, G-Stark needs a fucking raise, Yahtzee had the best video he's done so far possibly owing to hating RTS games.

Graham's part was just pure epicness! Also, Great review Yahtzee! I'm a major RTS player and Halo Wars made me go to the nearest corner, curl into a fetal position and cry.

great mixaround :D

Eternal Vigil:

I'd like to add, just because I'm part of Halo's fanbase, I haven't ever had the inclination to fornicate with a dog.

I disconnected myself from the halo fanbase a while back, and I must say, I do miss the dog fucking.

Some might say I could just carry on fucking dogs, but without Halo playing in the background it just wouldn't be the same.

SaneIntolerant:
You're just pissed because Halo keeps bringing formerly PC exclusive genres to consoles and doing it well.

Um... what? I'm fairly sure I'd played FPS and RTS games on consoles before Halo arrived.

I have to agree with yahtzee, arbitrary time limits suck.

ColdStorage:

Mischiviktus:
Did anyone besides me here ACTUALLY watch it, or just LOLRUN here to attempt a ZOMG I R FURST, I M SHPESHAL!!!...?

you ever played starcraft?, you know the whole "ZERG RUSH" tactic?, I think the groups who post nonsensical bullshit on a yahtzee thread within the first 30 fucking seconds should be known as "ZOMG RUSH".

Also, well fucking done, G-Stark needs a fucking raise, Yahtzee had the best video he's done so far possibly owing to hating RTS games.

Yes he should, and yes it should be called a "ZOMG RUSH"

Wow like nobody seems to have watched Unskippable?
I liked both parts of it Graham did a good job of acting like yahtzee and in fact so did the imp.

shadowelancer:
I have to agree with yahtzee, arbitrary time limits suck.

ColdStorage:

Mischiviktus:
Did anyone besides me here ACTUALLY watch it, or just LOLRUN here to attempt a ZOMG I R FURST, I M SHPESHAL!!!...?

you ever played starcraft?, you know the whole "ZERG RUSH" tactic?, I think the groups who post nonsensical bullshit on a yahtzee thread within the first 30 fucking seconds should be known as "ZOMG RUSH".

Also, well fucking done, G-Stark needs a fucking raise, Yahtzee had the best video he's done so far possibly owing to hating RTS games.

Yes he should, and yes it should be called a "ZOMG RUSH"

EXCELLENT!, so we are in agreement, any persons banned on a yahtzee thread within the first minute "ZOMG RUSH".

If anyone disagrees please say so now?.

LOL that was excellent, Graham was good too.

ColdStorage:

Eternal Vigil:

I'd like to add, just because I'm part of Halo's fanbase, I haven't ever had the inclination to fornicate with a dog.

I disconnected myself from the halo fanbase a while back, and I must say, I do miss the dog fucking.

Some might say I could just carry on fucking dogs, but without Halo playing in the background it just wouldn't be the same.

Yes, the sounds of dogs screaming in pain when I have my mike in when I play the game never gets old.

Wait.....

Yahtzee was pretty harsh on RTS games in this review, but then again he is harsh on almost all types of games.

I didn't mind the first bit, it was quite amusing but didn't top Yahtzee. I expected Halo Wars to be utter bilge, most new RTS's are since they tend not to make full use of Tactics or include some sort of semi-realistic damage system, even after Company of Heroes being out for 2 years now. I love CoH because its got a cover system, its got semi-real damage and Relic have made simply one of the most beautiful Game engines ever devised by man for it to run on. The gameplay doesn't clog up your mind with unnecessary shite like some of the more complicated RTS/RTT types. Some of the realism in those is verging on the perverse and un-called for.

Tom Phoenix:

Catkid906:
Anyway, it was awesome and also by the way. I am going to throw an RTS title at you

Starcraft! Play the second one when it comes out! I command thee!

I agree, I really hope Yahtzee at least reviews StarCraft II when it comes out. Since Yahtzee is more of a singleplayer type, I think even he might enjoy StarCraft II (although it would be nice if he gave multiplayer a try). And even if he does not, it would still be interesting to hear his thoughts on the game.

Well it didn't take you long to make a profile pic out of this video! Looks awesome by the way!

should've actually done X Blades... the Halo Wars segment was meh

Sledgimus:

SaneIntolerant:
You're just pissed because Halo keeps bringing formerly PC exclusive genres to consoles and doing it well.

Um... what? I'm fairly sure I'd played FPS and RTS games on consoles before Halo arrived.

The only notable console FPS before Halo was Goldeneye, and every FPS game since Halo has copied the button layout or had some variant thereof. And it is a well known fact that console ports of RTSs are generally not very good, and Halo Wars has the advantage of being built from the ground up for the Xbox 360 and pulls of the controls very well.

I like the imp version of ZP at the end of the video

Who the hell are Graham and Paul?
It was a good review though, especially the bit at the end with the rant about timings. Oh how RTS's screwed me out of many a mission on this basis! (And many other things. DOW NECRONS WITH YOUR BLOODY REGEN!)
And the bit with the panda, that was hilarious. He should play more though, I can see why Halo wars would seem like a pile of shit

I actually agree with Yahtzee on the control things. RTS's were made for mice, not controllers. At least, thats what I've always thought. After playing C&C red alert and Battle for middle earth. I like RTS, but damn if you can use it with 10 buttons and a couple of stalks. You need a keyboard and a mouse.

And there were a couple of good moments in the xblades part, but nothing exceptional, and I don't think 'cunt' is a verb. I could be wrong though.

KaiRai:
Who the hell are Graham and Paul?

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/unskippable

Yahtzee is on a murderous rampage.

First Graham. Then a poor defenceless imp.

Who's next?

XD Excellent review...I enjoyed the Unskippable cameo. Very clever. XD You should review that new Sonic game (Black Knight or whatever--I can only imagine what you'd do with the talking sword), if you Australians ever get it.

KaiRai:
Who the hell are Graham and Paul?
It was a good review though, especially the bit at the end with the rant about timings. Oh how RTS's screwed me out of many a mission on this basis! (And many other things. DOW NECRONS WITH YOUR BLOODY REGEN!)
And the bit with the panda, that was hilarious. He should play more though, I can see why Halo wars would seem like a pile of shit

Those two guys from the Unskippable videos

at first i didnt accept the first guy, but theyre both really good, awesome-o!

Yahtzee is so much funnier when he's upset. You have to pity what they'll do to him next.

I enjoyed the ending the rest of it was a confirmation of what I already thought of Halo Wars. Oh yes and the beginning was atrocious almost made me close the browser.

agreed unskippable is crap. its not that funny even with yahtzee on it. its not hard to do, anyone could do it. with a bit of skill anyone could do their own zero punctuation, this is proven by G+P doing the start of this ZP really well, it was funny alot funnier than unskippable. but it would just a be rip off. yahztee came up with his own unique style which delivers really well, unskippable is simply talking over cutscenes making easy jokes. but each to his own.

Another awesome ZP. Nice marketing plug for Unskippable, he wasn't terrible. Not nearly as good as Yahtzee though.

An RTS with a timer is pure fucking fail. IE Halo Wars.

Lol @ Graham.

Hilarious all around! What really killed me was the imps at the end. rofl

that was great a got the same problem

That sucks he attempted such a lame RTS to see if he liked RTS's or not. Of course Halo Wars isn't any good. Not a big surprise.

Eternal Vigil:
2. The whole point of that mission was to recover troops and return to your ship before it got sucked into a massive portal and they be trapped on the surface of the planet and chewed on by the alien hordes, hence the time limit. The 'We've lost contact' was about the ship, not your units.

Quoted for truth. I didn't particularly want to type the exact same thing that someone else has undoubtly said before, but I would like to bring this up again so that anyone else missing the point can understand.

EDIT: Wait, if Yahtzee didn't make it to the end of the game, he can't have seen the last few cinematics! No wonder he doesn't like them!

Overall, I would say what I always say about Halo Wars. You may not enjoy it, you may think it's a cash in, but it has had effort put in. Some games, eg. Lord of the Rings: Conquest look like they were squirted out in an afternoon. Games like that don't get nice prerendered cutscenes and (mostly) inventive missions.

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