Zero Punctuation: Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars

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the aiming still sucks in GTA:CW but I guess it was balanced.

Hmmm, the final joke was really...strange.

Not the best work, but still good, like Guitar Hero 3 when not played on the Wii.

It Wuz facken oresume

Well, they don't have to make another, do they?

Was this game ever going to work?

nice review as always Yahtzee.

Meets the standards, but really wasn't that overwhelming.

Sylocat:
*sigh* I'm used to hearing him spend the first minute of the review bashing the Wii before he ever gets around to talking about the actual game he's reviewing... when he's reviewing a Wii game. Now he seems to spend as much time as possible shoehorning Wii-bashing into the review even when he's reviewing a DS game.

Wait for the time when he starts devoting half of every 360, PS3 and PC game review to attacking the Wii.

To be fair, it's a valid point and something a selection of long-term gamers greatly dislike. I like the DS, I like the Wii, but I absolutely hate how nearly ever game has some sort of forced stylus/remote gimmick. Those things should always be optional.

The_root_of_all_evil:

Jindrak:
How the dear sweet Jesus do you come up with the "mounted on an obese man on a segway" metaphors? That was amazing.

Take a look at Postal 3....

I've been saying GTA London would be cool for AAAAAAAges now, but there's that fear that they'll do the most atrocious cockney accents this side of Mary Poppins.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCZDYV_pHRk

When Chinatown Wars was released, I got the feeling that taking GTA back to its top-down roots would be both a good thing and a bad thing. Good in terms of nostalgia and fun, bad in terms of current gameplay.

Yahtzee, as always, points this out with brilliance and hilarity.

"...No it really isn't." and "30 GOTO 10" were the crowning moments of awesome in this one for me. I remember Elite... *stars in eyes*

Thanks for reminding me that Elite IV is vaporware... I saw Elite II and didn't care about the rest of the review, I just had the overwhelming urge to grab a copy and play again.

Funny how every space sim for the past 15 years (including Eve) has tried to copy Elite, yet David Braben cant stop making shitty licensed games long enough to bring out Elite IV.

/sigh

Has anyone tried the egg thing yet?

It's bad.... but it's good, BECAUSE it's bad? Insanity!

Ow, my ears...

i gotta try the creme egg syringe thing...
not with pickle though...
XD ive never been bothered with the GTA series, but it was still fun to watch

You didn't REALLY fill a creme egg with Branston pickle, did you? Also, is Branston pickle an exclusively British thing? Because the only other person I have ever seen eating it apart from Yahtzee is my store manager, and he's from London.

I really want to fill a chocolate egg with Branston Pickle now =P

Henry Hatsworth pulls off the buttons with touchscreen very well, honestly. Good review, though. And I'm curious if you really did do the Cadburry Egg thing.

I know Yahtzee typically focuses on the bad aspects of a game, but it still surprises me when he finds almost nothing good about games that are so lauded and praised by critics and fans.

Jindrak:
How the dear sweet Jesus do you come up with the "mounted on an obese man on a segway" metaphors? That was amazing.

Also, the gimmicky use of the DS touch screen on games that don't need it is definitely up there on my list. :\

Have you even played Chinatown Wars? I must admit, the use of it was really good.

yourbeliefs:
I know Yahtzee typically focuses on the bad aspects of a game, but it still surprises me when he finds almost nothing good about games that are so lauded and praised by critics and fans.

Because being negative is his gimmick. Take his reviews with a grain of salt.

More remade crap. I always look forwards to the summer months when I can leave my controls at rest and get out side and do some fun things. Major reason is games like this, I can't recall in recent memory a good game release during the summer, I am sure I have forgotten that one exception to the rule some place. Regardless I think he made my point for me again any remote gimmick (stylus in this case) is more a pain in the ass and a waste of time, yet another reason I don't own, nor play either of Nintendo's big money makers turds.

Jindrak:
How the dear sweet Jesus do you come up with the "mounted on an obese man on a segway" metaphors? That was amazing.

Also, the gimmicky use of the DS touch screen on games that don't need it is definitely up there on my list. :\

XD exactly

i have the sudden urge to buy a cadbury creame egg and play halo...

I enjoyed the Test Pattern at the end. I want that for a wallpaper.

Found it below average compared to The Escapists other webseries'. I laughed only at the Cream egg/Branston Pickle joke.

I liked the review...yet I did like chinatown wars and it's control scheme

ugh branston pickle with chocolate... you should have trusted your instincts. I, on the other hand, should have trusted your test.

No, it really isn't
hahaha

lol are branston pickles really that good that anyone would consider that

I have the urge to try the egg thing but with honey mustard... mmm.

GTA London 1969 in 3D? Hell yeah.

Theres a reason GTA didnt really take off till 3, the top down thing is awful. They should have left it.

Branston pickle is sweet; chocolate is sweet, it just might work...

It's a shame the Branston pickle egg thing didn't work out...

i really liked the camera joke. i laught out loud in the office. good thing i was alone...

I have this strange urge to pickle a cream egg at work for a customer. Then again I want to be around for the person actually indulging in the egg, so maybe pickle one for the staff room. Hmmmm...

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