Zero Punctuation: Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars

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Zand88:
I find it a bit annoying when Yahtzee starts to sound like he can speak for everyone. If you're going to review, you need to acknowledge that it's just your opinion. I don't always agree with him, but I find him funny and like to hear his thoughts. But in this review, just like others such as Mirror's Edge and Resident Evil, it borders on sounding like his opinion is the only one. You may think a game was bad, but that DOESN'T mean that popular opinion says it's bad. Quite the opposite, for all applied.

Then again, I guess maybe the part of Yahtzee's charm is that he's arrogant. It still makes me grind my teeth, though.

Or maybe you're just a moron.

A review is an opinion. You don't have to explicitly state that statements within the view are an opinion for that reason alone. This is exactly the same reason why lots of English teachers tell you not to use first-person pronouns in essays - or, at least, not unless you know what you're doing and using them sparingly for valid reasons.

"You may think a game was bad, but that DOESN'T mean that popular opinion says it's bad."

Your point, exactly? Yahtzee has his own opinion and disparages popular opinion quite often. You've got this whole thing quite wrong, he's never claimed his opinion is the most popular nor did he claim it is the only one. It's simply his opinion. The subtext of his arrogance is that popular opinion and most other opinions are stupid, and even if they aren't, they're irrelevant for the sake of his reviews.

I'm really glad that games for the DS and other handhelds are starting to (or always have) suck, mostly because I despise the very existence of handheld game devices, and have since the gameboy came out. The only time I can possibly imagine it being an acceptable thing to use is if and only if you are either in a long line or are a passenger in a car driving a long way. Half my friends are into this and they actually sit in front of their televisions, with the TV off, and play the game. Seriously. WTF? I just don't get the point. When I am out and about doing things I actually have the condescending arrogance to expect other people who are doing those things to be paying attention, and tapping away at a DS is only more tolerable than shouting into your cell phone because I can ignore you while you ignore me while you're on your little game.

That said, GTA didn't sound like a good port onto a portable anyway, merely due to the restraints of the platform. And a great review by Yahtzee, he tears new ones I can't even reach half the time.

ok someone's gotta tell me

what the fuck is a Branston Pickle and why is it so epic?

I gotta say I was half looking forward to this game, but apparently my worst fear of blatantly pointless DS touchscreen integration have been realized.

Woe is me.

Loved the test pattern reference.Thank you life on mars for allowing this Australian to get it.

Found this week's review a little dull. Nothing that made me laugh out loud like the RE 5 inventory/sidekick rant or what happens when the timer runs out in Halo Wars. He didn't sound as into it as usual, almost monotone at times.

300ccs of medicine:
I'm really glad that games for the DS and other handhelds are starting to (or always have) suck, mostly because I despise the very existence of handheld game devices, and have since the gameboy came out.

Ditto. At least with the Gamecube it's possible to buy the Gameboy Player attachment and get more enjoyment out of the games.

Good 'ol Yahtzee, keeping it real. I was suprised when I read some reviews on how much other reviewers loved it, and then to see Yahtzee bash it brought it back down into reality.

Btw,

Racthoh:
Ditto. At least with the Gamecube it's possible to buy the Gameboy Player attachment and get more enjoyment out of the games.

I think it was also cheaper than the Game Boy Advance if I remember correctly.

Its LOLtastic

I was hoping that this game would have something to do with the movie "Chinatown".

Mr0llivand3r:
ok someone's gotta tell me

what the fuck is a Branston Pickle and why is it so epic?

It's a pickle relish made in the UK. You can find it in some places in the US and I understand it has a unique tang to it.

damn, I am PS3 owner and I have no hope for anything good coming out for my system for months. CURSE YOU WII-OWNERS! CURSE U NINTENDO!

Well the review was ...wel actually a review he pointed out very valid points within the game i agree with the review but thats usually no shock 70% of the time anyways. I almost pissed myself with the egg thing.

It kind of irks me how everyone just agrees with you and thinks that you're hilarious all the time, Yahtzee. But what's more annoying is how you're usually right and hilarious.

Alright, am I the only who's sick of Yahtzee bullshit tactic. 1st he takes jabs at Killzone 2, an instead of reviewin' it, he does other games. If your gonna take jabs at somethin', then please review it. Now, what can I say bout this review, again it's nothin' funny. For once he already took enough jabs at Nintendo and DS, so he just can't suprise with anythin' he didn' say already. Two, it's a retro style version of the very st GTA game, did ANYONE expect it to be great and just a bad shitty port. It's just, there's nothin' special bout this review aside from a big 'meh'

CapnJack:
Or maybe you're just a moron.

Feeling a bit touchy, are we? ;)

I wouldn't consider a review to be exactly the same as an opinion. Actually, I don't think they're even similar. But, that's besides the point.

He never explicitly said his opinion is the voice of popular opinion, and I never claimed that he did, either. I just said that he was approaching that attitude.
There's a point where he makes assumptions of public opinion, and that's fine in general. It mostly bothers me when he gets the popular opinion WRONG, or uses his own opinions as generally accepted fact, when it clearly isn't.

Great review, too bad I liked Chinatown Wars. Awesome ending as well.

Ah yes, now I realized what bothered me in this video. It was the jokes and the voice. I think some of the jokes were very similar to the ones you've made in your previous episodes and your voice sounded a bit weird... maybe it was the tone?

Are you currently having a flu or something? :<

Slipping up a bit in my opinion..

I think it almost your worst review yet :(

Zand88:

CapnJack:
Or maybe you're just a moron.

Feeling a bit touchy, are we? ;)

I wouldn't consider a review to be exactly the same as an opinion. Actually, I don't think they're even similar. But, that's besides the point.

He never explicitly said his opinion is the voice of popular opinion, and I never claimed that he did, either. I just said that he was approaching that attitude.
There's a point where he makes assumptions of public opinion, and that's fine in general. It mostly bothers me when he gets the popular opinion WRONG, or uses his own opinions as generally accepted fact, when it clearly isn't.

You realize it takes all the fun out of it if you're going to handle my insults so maturely, right? Although I never did actually say you're a moron, really. I was just offering the suggestion. But perhaps that was premature of me.

Could you give examples of when he uses his opinions as generally accepted fact? And where he gets the popular opinion wrong? I'm curious now.

I have no idea if Yahtzee even reads, or if he replies to these threads.

Anyway.

The AI being so poor could be the result of AI being fairly intensive. Hardware limitations could be the downfall here. Then again they could simply have been balancing the AI for gameplay reasons such as the poor control setup.

I wonder how many people are old enough to get the "30 GOTO 10" joke. Brilliant!

Brilliant as always, I wish I could have played the guy who shot the DS and GTA IV though. Shove over Yahtzee it's my turn.

lol your videos are always fucking awesome! i think i'll spend my sunday watching all the ZP episodes again :-p

Good call with the creme egg i tried it with chocolate spread was alright then.

CMWaters:
It's interesting to see the view on this subject matter.

Incidentally, I do think there are SOME games that impliment both standard control scheme and touch screens. "Super Princess Peach" is one (and yes, I am a guy and I like that game. So sue me.) "Sonic Rush" and "Sonic Rush Adventures" used it well too, really only using it for the chaos emeralds or seaboard missions respectively.

Your argument is rendered mute because you bought Sonic Rush Adventures which is essentially the same as Sonic Rush.

I couldn't ever get over the DS's terrible idea of controlling with a stylus and it only really works if you have that on thumb stylus that you have to buy for 10 dollars, that's 20 if you live in Australia or have to pay the cashier extra to have them give you a M rated game... I meeeeaaan... well yeah, good in concept.

I enjoyed the extremely old programming joke if I'm the only one who got that.

Mythbhavd:

Mr0llivand3r:
ok someone's gotta tell me

what the fuck is a Branston Pickle and why is it so epic?

It's a pickle relish made in the UK. You can find it in some places in the US and I understand it has a unique tang to it.

finally!!! new doors of knowledge have been opened to me!!!! :-P
thanks

Zand88:

CapnJack:
Or maybe you're just a moron.

Feeling a bit touchy, are we? ;)

I wouldn't consider a review to be exactly the same as an opinion.

He never explicitly said his opinion is the voice of popular opinion, and I never claimed that he did, either. I just said that he was approaching that attitude.

There's a point where he makes assumptions of public opinion, and that's fine in general. It mostly bothers me when he gets the popular opinion WRONG, or uses his own opinions as generally accepted fact, when it clearly isn't.

CapnJack is right.

I disagree, and you're so adamant about it because Yahtzee obviously said something you did not like, and you're trying to find a way to disprove it by making him wrong. We can't all like or believe everything you do.

When something is said, the opinion is implied. If you go to review site to have your mind made up for you, then you're just another weak consumer I'd rather not hang out with. If you think that anything that anyone says about a product is not an opinion, then you can't be helped. If he's saying "GTA3 was great and the first two were not good" when you disagree, then that is all it is. A conflict of, wait for it, opinions.

I like the game, Yahtzee does not, I thought the review was funny, and I still like the game.

Aside,

Theres a lot of trash talking about the DS touchscreen and this game, and I personally don't see the problem, and, with Yahtzee's preference for title innovation, I don't see why he'd also have a problem. When I'm playing this game, and 20 missions in, there's still new touch screen mechanics being thrown at me to keep the game fresh and interesting, I'm happier for it. This whole "just because you can doesn't mean you should" is silly. To me, it's more like "I can, and I will make it as immersive as possible."

But disclaimer, this is only my opinion and not to be treated as factual information.

a new GTA set in london. thats something I would buy especially if it was set in the 60s. they've done every other era

Yay, Yahtzee agrees with me! I dont like the touch screen aspect of the DS and miss classic Gameboy which I still play. I dont want to use the stylus ever, but most likely I will so I avoid DS. I do play it when my cousin brings it over but I dont miss it when he leaves.

It's not really hard at all to play the game simultaneously with the stylus and normal buttons (except for maybe the ambulance missions) as long as you hold the stylus right.

Dyskresiac:

nathan-dts:
Found it below average compared to The Escapists other webseries'. I laughed only at the Cream egg/Branston Pickle joke.

I find this confusing since escapist is really nothing but a bunch of kids whining and complaining with very very low brow humor. (Save from Yahtzee.) It could be that you just happen to like that kind of "Leave your brain at the door" fart joke humor, at which case it doesn't surprise me that you don't enjoy ZP as much.

That being said, Yahtzee really cuts through the bull when it comes to games and isn't afraid to give a game a good review if it is actually good. See:Portal, Super Paper Mario, Psychonauts, Saints Row 2, etc. I just find that a lot of other reviewers (primarily IGN) rate games based on the hype factor associated to them. GTA games will always get better reviews than Saints Row games simply because they're more popular. Oh and, do I have to invoke the "Kayne & Lynch" law of reviewing?

I do disagree with him a lot, specifically when it comes to JRPGs, but he defines what it is he likes, what it is he doesn't like, and lets you form your opinions around that. You might like something he hates, or vice-versa. It beats rating things on a scale of 1 to 10 and just leaving it open to guessing.

Thus, why I never pay attention to any other reviewer.

What? The Zero Punctuation brand of humour is the retarded "Leave your brain at the door" fart joke humour. You have your basic homosexual, breasts and dick jokes, with nothing really original at all.

I hate to admit this, having bought the game...

But he is right. Again. I actually buy games he doesn't like because of the reasons he doesn't like it (House of the Dead, overkill being one of them), but most times, when Yahtzee burns down a game I thought I enjoyed, I find myselfs thinking... wait a sec, he's bloody right!

kinda spoils games (and practically makes good spend money wasted), I guess. ^^

On a sidenote, what the hell is branston pickle? I can't buy it here in Europe...
Edit: Oh, never mind, it's explained on this page :D

I definitely expected this kind of review for a top down Grand Theft Auto on the Nintendo DS (underlined the things wrong with this title)

But great episode and was intrigued by the egg at the end :)

Funny Review, as always.

However, I loved GTA:CW. If Yahtzee doesn't like it, it's his problem.

I guess my Rise of the argonaut review will never be fufilled

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