Zero Punctuation: Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars

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Thanks for the ads, Yahtzee. They froze, so I can't watch the video! Great job!

I just brought a shiny new DS lite, and this was the first game I brought with it, and I absolutely loved it, despite all the annoying problems Yahtzee accuratly pointed out.
The only one I don't agree with him on is the touch screen games, which I myself thought would be too distracting, but somehow they turned out just fine. They almost never have me fumbling around.
And I love the way they've implemented them, from slapping bugs onto cars to breaking out of sinking cars. There's as much variety of touch-screen mini-games as I hoped there'd be.
Its strange, ever since I'd brought this, I had this little fantasy going on in my head that Yahtzee would make a video of it, and low and freaking behold...

Thanks for the ads, Yahtzee. They froze, so I can't watch the video! Great job!

Yeah, because its his fault your computer has problems showing videos.

Wow he sounded kinda tired in this one.


Steven Kyzburg:
Personally I don't see how you can have anything on the DS other than the good old Pokemon up, down, left,right zig zag movements.


Contra? The latest Castlevania? Both of those don't use the touchscreen in-game at all.

HD, true surround sound, real multiplayer, real controls, and enough processing power to actually run the game for starters. All factors that DS/Wii don't have.
It's a shame developers waste time on the Wii/DS that would be better spent on real systems

HD, true surround sound, processing power are what make games enjoyable? You have your priorities mixed up young man...

Droz 12:
Wow he sounded kinda tired in this one.

I'd have to agree with this one. He had that going-through-the-motions voice as if he was reading off a script half-interested.

Also, would it be a crime to say I'd prefer a Kinder Surprise over a Cadbury Egg?

Looks like Yahtzee's gonna go to a special circle of hell for that "Menace 2 society" sign-off :)

Refer to his Left 4 Dead review. You'll see.

he did sound tired, but the text itself wasn't half bad.

also I love how the beeeeep at the end was in tune with the music. :)

Nice one. one of Yahtzee's best in a while I think.

Nice video even though it wasnt one of his best

made me laugh... like always

Great video, loved it didn't expect it but hilarious all the same.

Why are people getting banned for saying the video was good? Is it a timing thing or what? Is there a cranky admin out there? you can have some candy if you want...(not being an ass, so don't think i am)

Funny as always, would love to hear how the Branston pickle thing is. =P

Watch it until the end....

GTA:CW is awesome, IMO.

And yes, I spent a hour or two trading drugs and bought every single safehouse in the game and then parked a sportscar in every garage, before proceeding much anywhere in the main storyline.

Though, the ONLY interrupting touchscreen controls are switching weapons and throwing grenades. Other than that you don't have to fiddle and interrupt controls.

Yet again Yahtzee saves me from buying a dumb looking game

The irony of this statement is thick enough to cut with a knife. I am under the pretty strong impression that Yahtzee doesn't want any reviews anyone does to influence one's opinions.

I have never actually had Branston Pickle, but all of your references to it makes me want to try it sometime...

Back on topic, you review was grand. As always, it was witty, truthful, and entertaining. I also liked the reference/analogy of the recession.

And finally, does anyone want a cookie from my GTA Easy-Bake oven?


Or maybe you're just a moron.

Feeling a bit touchy, are we? ;)

I wouldn't consider a review to be exactly the same as an opinion. Actually, I don't think they're even similar.

Then what is a review? Are game reviews like like judging a dog at a show, where it is judged against an expectation of what a good game is suppost to be?

"11 hours long! That one hour over standard so -10 points."

looks delicious...

I never expected him to do this, when I saw it it got me exited. (watching it in another window)

Edit: Wow, I'm surprised he didn't like it. I for one loved Gta: China town wars.... Still thats his opinion, even so I don't think filling a choclate egg with branston pickle is a good idea.

Edit...again: Every one above me got banned, see I wanted to get one of the first posts so my opinion would be heard not for the first post bull. Why do people try to get first post? And when they do instead of using it for a valid opinion they just yell first! or I'm and idiot for posting 30 seconds after a 5 minute video was released.... I'd like to see the day were the ban hammer doesn't fall on anyone in a Zp forum.

I like the game. However I'd like to point out that not a damn thing he sad was off :P.

He didn't pick out a single thing that wasn't on my mind while I played. Even his last line in the credits about the chick dying two missions in. I laughed.

Where can one pro cur some Branston Pickle?

I love this game. I think this review is mostly based on Yatzees hate for Nintendo.

"just because you can have something doesn't mean you should"
That Part was one of the funniest lines in the video

Hey Yahtzee, this is Eileen Stahl from over at Something Awful's ROM Pit. Just wanted to say you're probably my favorite comic on the web right now; in a world where people are increasingly relying on video delivery to make mediocre writing funny, you go the extra mile and come up with clever comparisons, transitions, and insights -plus you're angry and British.

Keep it up.

Actually, I believe he liked Painkiller, Psyconauts, and maybe CoD 4, the latter I was surprised at.

Is it just me or has Yaghtzee gotten back into his comedic grouve lately?

A tribute to this video, my very own pickle filled easter egg!


that was great u gota love all the gangs comeing to a pool party tho it would be funny

oh dear,
'Neil' will be (won't be) happy, in equal measure.


Woot he does it again...another great review...after over a year of watching I finally signed up lol

very good :)

good review. I was going to get this game. Could you review Endless Ocean next?

one of the best.

I loved GTA1 and GTA 2. Disliked any since. This is the first GTA I'm going to play in years.

There's games for all audiences, so this doesn't surprise me much.


Look, I'm sure that anyone who's played this game knows that the controls work better than Yahtzee said and that the game is not as horrible as he thinks.



I think that if you review a game, you should review the actual game, not the totally awesome console that it's on. Nintendo's doing a lot of things right lately so why not bash Microsoft or Sony, you bigoted asshole.

That was freaking hilarious, I was expecting him to rant about the game and the DS.
But why does he hate Nintedo so much...? It's not that bad :( (I like Wii :()

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