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Zero Punctuation: The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena

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Creator of Zero Punctuation
Posts: 254
Joined: 8 Aug 2007

The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena.

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Copy Clerk
Posts: 101
Joined: 5 Nov 2008

Heh. I knew Yahtzee would review this one.

Beat Writer
Posts: 205
Joined: 15 Apr 2009

Fusu:
Heh. I knew Yahtzee would review this one.

Well duh, he said that he was waiting for his copy of Dark Athena in last week's review.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2302
Joined: 16 Feb 2009

Fusu:
Heh. I knew Yahtzee would review this one.

A friend of mine were saying the same thing today. "He's gonna review Riddick!"

Ah well, might as well watch it too.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 913
Joined: 12 Feb 2009

Ending was pretty damned funny lol.

Copy Clerk
Posts: 111
Joined: 6 May 2009

What did happen to Vin Diesel's career?

Paperboy
Posts: 43
Joined: 15 Apr 2009

yay he reviewed a game i hated

Copy Clerk
Posts: 56
Joined: 4 Mar 2009

Haha, loved it!! Especially the unrelenting crisp based puns.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1412
Joined: 19 Nov 2008

I think this is the fastest Yahtzee's ever talked.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 745
Joined: 10 Mar 2009

Hmmm...he went from Halo Wars to Siren to this? I'm still waiting for Mr. Awesomesauce to review CoD5 so I can have an official link for all the COD5 fanboys to watch :D

Paperboy
Posts: 14
Joined: 21 Jul 2008

Heh, interesting. I've never thought much of the Riddick series, despite Vin Diesel's profounding awesomeness.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1764
Joined: 13 Feb 2009

For once I didn't laugh. The sky must be falling.

But now I know to stay away from Diesel's "Games"

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2104
Joined: 23 Feb 2008

I've never actually played any of the Riddick games but from the way that he described this one it sounds pretty good. I think I might have to pick this one up.

Beat Writer
Posts: 160
Joined: 20 Feb 2009

10/10

Anonymous Source
Posts: 1
Joined: 15 Apr 2009

Salt & Vinegar :')

Anonymous Source
Posts: 2
Joined: 19 Nov 2008

next has to be X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Y)

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1512
Joined: 30 Mar 2009

You got to watch out for those 16th century puritans.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1535
Joined: 4 Sep 2008

Eh, getting less and less funny each time. I believe I'm used to the jokes Yahtzee.

But really, you didn't like Chronicles of Riddick!? I loved that movie. Its one of those "3AM, throw a movie on and fall asleep to it to be able to dream that you are in it" movies.

Pitch Black was way better though.

Press Junketeer
Posts: 415
Joined: 5 Feb 2009

ITS ALRIGHT

Muckraker
Posts: 337
Joined: 3 Jan 2008

Pretty funny alright, but I'm still looking forward to buying this one. Butcher Bay was fun, and I need something to kill time until Ghostbusters.

Anonymous Source
Posts: 5
Joined: 15 Apr 2009

I agree that the character of Riddick was well done in Pitch Black. I really was disappointed when in the second movie only four characters had names and the rest were generic thugs or plot devices alone. I still fear that they will finally produce the third movie to cap that series.

Of course, if the writers keep spending their energy on these games we may be safe.

The review itself I quite enjoyed. Well done.

Muckraker
Posts: 239
Joined: 5 Nov 2008

Ah a great review there brightens up the Wednesday afternoons. I really liked Pitch Black, so I may rent this game, but I wouldn't buy it.

Beat Writer
Posts: 177
Joined: 15 Apr 2009

Funny as always!

Paperboy
Posts: 42
Joined: 24 Nov 2008

Is it just me or was this review done in an even more overly fast phased style than usual?
It has been Zero Punctuation's style from the get go to blur the line between sentences (hence the name, I guess), but in the earlier reviews I could at least tell a paragraph from another.
Or maybe it was just because I watched an earlier episode today, from the time when the pahsing of the review wasn't quite (just almost) as intense as it is nowdays.

Muckraker
Posts: 239
Joined: 5 Nov 2008

Liked all of the crisp related jokes, it reminded me of his review of Lego Indy. Still waiting for Fuzzy Felt Deep Space 9.

Paperboy
Posts: 12
Joined: 14 Nov 2007

Thank God Yahtzee called out Vin Diesel for who he is! I beginning to feel like the only sane person on the planet who thought Vin Diesel only made movies and games that glorified himself.

Best movie with Vin Diesel:

Saving Private Ryan (He dies halfway through the movie)

Paperboy
Posts: 28
Joined: 15 Apr 2009

PirateKing:
I think this is the fastest Yahtzee's ever talked.

Hey, I'm not the only one that noticed. :) That threw me off a bit. He must have been going for a record in speed talking or something. lol

Paperboy
Posts: 47
Joined: 11 Feb 2009

Awesome... the chip references scattered throughout made this a classic.

Beat Writer
Posts: 183
Joined: 3 Sep 2008

That was really fast... I never played the original Riddick game, but Pitch Black is quite cool for a film that isn't too original.

Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 512
Joined: 4 Jun 2008

I don't know which bit I liked more, the Puritan cameo or Assault on Cool Ranch Doritos.

petrolmonkey:
What did happen to Vin Diesel's career?

The problem with too much masturbation is you get raw after a while. Hence atrocities such as Fast & Furious and that game that would be called "Totally Not a Game Based on Vin Diesel's Fast and Furious Character, Honest." but was shortened to "Wheelman."

Copy Clerk
Posts: 117
Joined: 8 May 2008

Erm.....What the fuck was this crap? I mean I hated the game, so don't start "OOoo! Yahztee bashed your fav game! Now your angry! Duuur!" But the humor was so flat and boring that I didn't even crack a grin or a chuckel. I just don't get what's with Yahtzee takeing games that are already shit and reviewing 'em, like when he did Halo Wars or say Blood on the Sand. You can't make fun of a bad game, since it's already bad to begin with.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3918
Joined: 17 Feb 2008

Nice one yhatzee, keep it going. But please in future don't tells us what game your reviewing before you post the review.

Paperboy
Posts: 13
Joined: 24 Apr 2009

I really like my zero punctutation t shirt. I'm wearing it right now.
I also like bait beat retreat repeat.

Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 584
Joined: 25 Apr 2009

Will this be worth staying up until 2am for, even though I was actually baking a cake, and the new ZP is just the accidental delicious late night topping on said cake?

Oh Vin Diesel, and his strange love of goggles.

Good work Yahtzee, and the sleep deprivation only made it funnier.

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