Zero Punctuation: The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena

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Hmm...I could see how the alternating combat styles could become a pain, but you certainly can't blame it for gameplay variety...
Sad to hear that the Riddick persona's already gotten old and predictable...I enjoyed him in both Pitch Black and Butcher Bay as the gallows-humor, street-smart killer, but now that he's been degraded to some stereotypical badass nitwit, I just don't know what to do with Vin Diesesl anymore.
Liked the repetitive potato chip gags, though I can't say I particularly understood them.

Edit:

The Riddick games have a prominent RPG element, and I was surprised when Yahtzee failed to give notice to it at all. The sidequests and character interaction were some of the most rewarding parts of Butcher Bay.

Raiderz:

PirateKing:
I think this is the fastest Yahtzee's ever talked.

Hey, I'm not the only one that noticed. :) That threw me off a bit. He must have been going for a record in speed talking or something. lol

Felt like it began and ended in the same second...

Yes! Light speed reviews are back!

I guess this is the next FPS for me, since I've skipped over Butcher Bay and stealth gameplay is kind of my thing.

I appreciated the spider tour bus reference to the Oblivion review. ZP always seems funniest to me when it's about spiders for some reason.

I feel like I'm the only person on the ZP message boards who didn't get all the food references. Could someone explain?

Is it just me or was our charismatic stallion talking faster than usual in this review?
Hahahahahaha...."Riddick-ulous"

Hmm... This one wasn't as funny as I expected Yahtzee. Still good though as other people have pointed out.
If the storyline for Assault on Salt&Vinegar didn't sound so lame I'd be annoyed at the spoiler.
I think I'll buy this to play Butcher Bya since I never experienced it.

I think we should try and arrange for Vin Diseal to see this ;) Apparently he is actually abit of nerd (unfair, I know!) and likes D&D, so hell knows what'd happen. Possibly the Universe would impode....ok, maybe not.

Should have used Riddick-ulous, seriously.

Great review.

I thought the review was both funny and informitive. I too have seen Vinny ruin a good movie or 2 by being in it, like the Rock (*Cough* DOOM *Cough. But to be fair that movie was runined when they wrote the script). Movies like "The fast and the furious" and "The Pacifier" have only weakened what little of a career that man has.

Yahtzee hit the nail on the head with this review.

Pantherman

I quite enjoyed this review, especially the crisp / chip references, and the end bit was pretty funny too. Not his best review, but definitely not his worst!
As many people have mentioned, I also noticed that he spoke faster than some of his previous videos: it's really obvious when you watch the Psychonauts review followed by the Assault On Dark Athena review!
I think he could have gotten away with the 'Riddick-ulous' line too, especially after he used 'Baldur's gait' in a different review (can't remember which one).

i ahve decided. ZP is SO MUCH BETTER WHEN COMPLETELY EFFING TRASHED

thanks yahtzee

petrolmonkey:
What did happen to Vin Diesel's career?

Don't you know? IT was sacrificed and devoured to the Disney machine to appease that monster in that god awful movie.

Kanashe:
You can't make fun of a bad game, since it's already bad to begin with.

Uh... could you explain that one? Cause it kinda doesn't make sense to me. People make fun of bad games all the time. We make fun of them because they're bad. I mean, otherwise, people would be making fun of good games, which wouldn't make much sense at all. The only time I've ever seen anyone make fun of a good game is when they're blatantly expressing their fanboyism by shooting down an exclusive title.

Not that there aren't people who genuinely don't like exclusive titles for good reasons, it's all a matter of personal opinion. Just saying, fanboys seem to be the most vocal about it.

LANCE420:

petrolmonkey:
What did happen to Vin Diesel's career?

Don't you know? IT was sacrificed and devoured to the Disney machine to appease that monster in that god awful movie.

Oh. My. God...And now the same thing is happening to The Rock! We can't let this happen!

Wolfwind:

Kanashe:
You can't make fun of a bad game, since it's already bad to begin with.

Uh... could you explain that one? Cause it kinda doesn't make sense to me. People make fun of bad games all the time. We make fun of them because they're bad. I mean, otherwise, people would be making fun of good games, which wouldn't make much sense at all. The only time I've ever seen anyone make fun of a good game is when they're blatantly expressing their fanboyism by shooting down an exclusive title.

Not that there aren't people who genuinely don't like exclusive titles for good reasons, it's all a matter of personal opinion. Just saying, fanboys seem to be the most vocal about it.

Alright, let me explayin. When you're trying to make something as bad as Dark Athena or say Blood on the Sand, anyway you try to make it funny doesn't work. It's like trying to make fun of Disaster movie, the movie is already horrible, and every joke you'll try to make bout it won't work. Same goes with these bad games, they're already bad, wich make 'em already a huge joke to begin with. That's why I don't find such videos funny, since when you mention a game like "Dark Athena" you already know it's gonna be Vin Diesel jerking off in your face and throwing bad one-liners, it's already a joke. Or say like Blood on the Sand, a game wich stars the walking brain tumor aka 50Cent himself who kills people for a Crystal Skull, is already a joke, because no one can take such stupidity with a serious face.

Kanashe:

Alright, let me explayin. When you're trying to make something as bad as Dark Athena or say Blood on the Sand, anyway you try to make it funny doesn't work. It's like trying to make fun of Disaster movie, the movie is already horrible, and every joke you'll try to make bout it won't work. Same goes with these bad games, they're already bad, wich make 'em already a huge joke to begin with. That's why I don't find such videos funny, since when you mention a game like "Dark Athena" you already know it's gonna be Vin Diesel jerking off in your face and throwing bad one-liners, it's already a joke. Or say like Blood on the Sand, a game wich stars the walking brain tumor aka 50Cent himself who kills people for a Crystal Skull, is already a joke, because no one can take such stupidity with a serious face.

Oh okay, I see what you're saying. Well, I guess it comes down to personal taste then. Personally, I still think it's kind of funny when people rip on stuff that's bad, but this is coming from someone who didn't already know it's bad, so it's news to me.

Plus I guess it depends on how the person makes fun of the bad game/movie in question. Some people can be very clever about it. Seems quite a few people didn't think this week's Zero Punctuation was that funny though, so I guess it was a hit and miss thing this episode.

I got a couple of chuckles out of it, but then I'm someone who laughs at nearly everything. :)

If the Dawin concept of survival of the fittest is any indication,
one survivor of a proud warrior race means they were doing
something wrong.

Cool review haha. Hey Yatzee I just buy a horrible game and yes i am ashamed lol the name its STORMRISE something like that. I just play de first level (tutorial) and no more. THAT BAD. I have played bad games and i finish them but this one OMG i didnt like it.
My grammar may be bad, sorry english is not my first language.

PirateKing:
I think this is the fastest Yahtzee's ever talked.

Yeah, I noted that too. It seemed more rushed from the beginning.
Thought it was just me.

Overall, I enjoyed this review.
Didn't think it was as funny as it could have been, though.

God, I wonder what's next week. I hope it's X-Men. Great Review by the way, loved it.

Like always, another great review. And I'm glad that your back to the lighting fast talking speeds.

BlueInkAlchemist:
I don't know which bit I liked more, the Puritan cameo or Assault on Cool Ranch Doritos.

petrolmonkey:
What did happen to Vin Diesel's career?

The problem with too much masturbation is you get raw after a while. Hence atrocities such as Fast & Furious and that game that would be called "Totally Not a Game Based on Vin Diesel's Fast and Furious Character, Honest." but was shortened to "Wheelman."

I saw the poster for Wheelman and my mind just went "Hang on."

Reduced myself to tear of laughter over this but I think it was helped a lot by looking at the bunny suicides pictures. Type bunny suicides into google if you don't already know what I mean.

The crisp jokes were brilliant. I don't think Yahtzee is getting less funny, it's just some games offer more to his comedy and others to his reviews. There we go, jolly Britishers rooting for each other (I said FOR) Pip-pip Tally-ho and all that Hollywood claptrap that we are supposed to spout.

Pretty good and I got the feeling he just liked the game. Unless you can point out actual gameplay flaws Yahtzee, it's just artiste blather.

ix_tab:
Also, I...didn't notice any appreciable speed difference in the way Yahtzee talked. Then again, he never seems particularly fast spoken to me.

I guess because I'm an Aussie, and our way of speaking is to speed everything up, and slur it together!

Let's hear it for strine! :D

Onya mate. But, don't forget, he was born a whinging Pommy bastard!!! :P

So he not exactly dinky-di. Explains a lot.. I mean... How can you tell if a British Airways jet has arrived? Answer: The plane keeps on whining after they turn the engines off!

Chupter later? Maybe I'll seeya on Live. (This game... emmichizzit anyway? "Arm arm, I've been bitten by a red-backed spider! Buy me this gaaaame!")

On topic. I've always been fond of Diesel. He often brings more depth to those he-man roles than many others. But it depends on the flick- many have been on the nose. The first game was enough for me, it looked pretty good, although the environments were claustrophobic, it doesn't need a remake.

JimmehC:
Yahtzee deserves a OBE. End. Of. Discussion.

Actually, that would be an OA in Oz mate. (Order of Australia)

i think so too that he was talking really fast. the review was still funny.

i have the game my self but havent finished it yet. i have to agree that the game it self is OK but could have been better. butcher bay surely was a damn great game but with this one, well, i hoped for more.

petrolmonkey:
What did happen to Vin Diesel's career?

it went down the drain me thinks lol

Wonderful review! As entertaining as always! Thanks for making my day ^^

Also i just wanted to get this off my chest...:
it's annoying when fans say "don't take him serious he's only meant to be funny"
I think Yahtzee has very valid points... And is very skilled with his terminology. He deserves respect at as a adept critic.

and

take away what ever you want from his review... Just remember that one person's opinion differs from another.

And

STOP WHINING! ><

<3Bianca.-

I'd love to see him review Bayonetta, cause he would make so many jokes about the games sexual obsession and how it was probably designed by lonely 15 year-olds.

jon_a_ross:
I agree that the character of Riddick was well done in Pitch Black. I really was disappointed when in the second movie only four characters had names and the rest were generic thugs or plot devices alone. I still fear that they will finally produce the third movie to cap that series.

Of course, if the writers keep spending their energy on these games we may be safe.

The review itself I quite enjoyed. Well done.

Is it just me or did Riddick go all Super sayjin 4 in the time between Pitch black and Chronicles of riddik??, becuase in Pitch Black, he gets into the fight with the guard and wins but it takes quite a fight out of him, along with when he defeats them monsters. In Chronicles he some how able to take on 40 trained fighters at once, along with beating an extremley powerfull necromancer. In Pitch Black he was a bad arse but at least believable in Chronicles they went over the top.

Great review!

Though I have to say most of the "metiroda" have been good solid fun titles.....

Oh I can't wait till he reviews Dues ex 3 with the cover system that amplifies health regeneration and its FP/3rdP switching......

Well, since I've never played Butcher Bay before, I was wondering, is the remake was at all worth the 7$ rental?

PirateKing:
I think this is the fastest Yahtzee's ever talked.

Yeah I know! When he started talking, I said "Whoa! slow down buddy! Take a breath now and then."

MisterColeman:
I laughed several times, good filler episode if we can call them that, but not one I'm going to remember and keep going back to.

Filler? I wasn't aware that zero punctution has a continuing storyline and plot.

Do Wolverine, yahtzee!

Play the wii/ps2 version. It'll make you feel a lot happier about Mirrors edge :D

Amogrr:
Do Wolverine, yahtzee!

Play the wii/ps2 version. It'll make you feel a lot happier about Mirrors edge :D

That could either end in hilarity or extreme tragedy for yahtzee.

Telling Yahtzee to do "movie game" (and saying it's good! Yes, I've lost all hope in movie games) is like telling a piano player, who's been playing for 45 years that Coldplay's Cemeteries London is hard to do on the piano.

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