The Escapist Presents: MovieBob Reviews Star Trek

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Definitly better than that review that said it was this generation's Star Wars. That's like a new Mario game coming out and people calling it this generations Halo. You obviously do more research than other reviewers, as well as some analyzing, which is what makes your reviews awesome. I saw the Up one because I love Pixar, and that led me to finding these other reviews. I will now watch these reviews before seeing any movie.

Mr0llivand3r:
Yahtzee: "Fans are clinging complaining dipshits who will never EVER be grateful for any concession you make"
Thanks, MovieBob for single-handedly proving how completely RIGHT Yahtzee is.

Just because it's not the Star Trek movie YOU wanted to see doesn't mean it's a bad movie. The movie was great. As someone who has never liked the other Star Treks, I thought it was a fun, action-filled ride, which is all it was supposed to be.

The filmmakers didn't set out making this movie so that it would win academy awards and tug at the heartstrings of stuffy film critics. They did it so that they could take an otherwise dead saga and give it new life and make it enjoyable, which they did with great results.

The problem is to do that the writers had to throw out what little the canon Star Trek universe said about how time travel worked.

The City on the Edge of Forever, Tomorrow is Yesterday, Star Trek: First Contact, Past Tense (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine), The Visitor, Time and Again (Star Trek: Voyager), Future's End, Before and After (Star Trek: Voyager), Year of Hell (Star Trek: Voyager), Timeless (Star Trek: Voyager), Relativity (Star Trek: Voyager), Endgame (Star Trek: Voyager) and 10 plus episodes of Enterprise and its Temporal Cold War all say this movie has NO IDEA what it is talking about and "Parallels" (TNG) explains how Many World Theory works in the ST universe which is again contrary with the explanation we are given in the movie.

Given that under Bell's Theorem Superluminous (read Faster Than Light Communications) and Many World Theory are MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE things you have to take some liberty with the Quantum Physics to make things work in what in the end is a FICTIONAL universe that has BOTH. To this end you have to keep the physics consistent and the movie does a major fail in that regard especially with it established by canon going all the way back to the original series some 40 years ago. Bag of hammer time on the part of the writers

Well the geek in me has the erg to reply... so I will compare the movie to past Star Treks (or Star Trak for those non-geeks reading this).

The Original Series

Its campy, filled with a horrible amount of cleches and stereo types. Perfect for when it was made. Also, the Enterprise wasn't an "Explorer" vessel but a warship (Refered to as a Cruiser or Battle Cruiser serveral times... though don't ask me when.... Okay fine Star Trek III has an example of this). Kirk was also a trigger happy, blood thirsty sex-o-hol. If there was a threat the Phaser banks were the first thing tried... though he would claim to be a man of peice (Laugh).

The Movie Period (also refered to as TMP)

Probably my favourite of all the incarnations of the Enterprise. However it had an odd-even curse. If I were to own any of them it would be 2-4-6. I might buy 5 just to melt the disk in my oven. Each was made for the era it was made in. 2 had Khan "Mulet man" Soong, 4 was about saving the whales (which the eviromental fad of the time... kinda like how saving the rain forest was the fad of the 90's and climate change is the current fad. What does the future hold? Only AL Gore can tell) and 6 was about linking the movie period to the next generation... with a suitible amount of violence.

The Next Generation

Sigh. While I was a fan and I will watch them again... it tended to be focused on talking your way out of blowing the alien up with your giant death ray of doom. However this did make the times they went with the Phaser first-victory dance later approach all the more entertaining. It was still rather frustrating to see the potential for ship to ship combat where the federation clearly had the upper hand (cause the Enterprise was a giant flying death machine with kids) and Picard would talk the enemy out of commiting suicide on a photon torpedo. However, the characters were more developed and the plots tended to have so much depth that I would need several life times an a power server network that would make blizzard weep with envy to explain why this series was good dispite the reference to the Enterprise being a "Heavy Explorer".

Deep Space Nine

Probably the best over all series (dispite a rocky start) that was esentially a Babylon 5 clone. B5:DS9, White Star:Defiant, Severed Dreams:Season 6, Coriana 6:Sacrific of Angels.... I could go on but its kinda redundant. Needless to say, this is the one series that I intend to own... and I will put it right next to my Babylon 5 collection.

Voyager

This series was everything wrong with Star Trek. I blame this whole series with why Star Trek failed in this incarnation... and here's why I think it was terrible. You might as well called the ship the USS munchkin ship Janeway. Every other character was essentially pointless cause none of them contributed to any problem. They tried to have continuity... but they "discovered" that beaming a photon torpedo inside a borg ship will destroy it utterly twice.... TWICE! Don't get me started on the way the series ended. Not to mention the fact that apparently Janeway was declared "the" expert on the borg dipite the fact that they had a captain that was actually assimilated by them and knows far more about them then she does **eplative deleted**. Dispite all of the things she did wrong in the series.... THEY PROMOTE HER and give her a fleet to **eplative deleted** around with.

The TNG Movies

Well... lets just say that they suffered the same problems their predicessors did. First contact and Nemisis were good... the other two weren't. Janeway killed that franchise by appearing there two... I don't care... I blame her.

Okay... I took a short break.

Enterprise

An interesting take on the franchise. Too explorish at first but they found there legs with the Xindi conflict. Its also ammusing that the Enterprise was actually originally a civilian ship and not a warship... which explains the devolvment of TNG. Although In a mirror darkly when to the point of abserdity of including a ship dirrectly out of the original series... it was supposed to be more advanced but it looked like something out of a hippy parade. Oh well, it was still a good two episodes. Especially the part where Zefram Cockran trys to do the vulcan hand thingy and when he can't he pulls out his gun and shoots the fluffly alien and takes his ship. In the Xindi conflict the writers actually maintained continuity (a great acomplishment concidering the previous series) and created semi-believable characters... like a vulcan that is actually supressing her emotions instead of them being absent.

The new movie

The first thing I noticed was the fact that the USS Kelvin was actually a pre-refit Akula class destroyer (look it up). This gave me the impression that the movie was going to follow the Star Fleet Battles universe rather then TNG. Infact they took the Happy-Clappy spin of the federation, punched it in the stomach took down its pants, kicked it in the balls and then fired it out of a torpedo tube naked.... YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! The federation was basically descibed as a coalition of planets pooling its military resources to fend off more powerful and threatening races like the klingons and the romulans. Star Fleet was actually called a peace keeping armada (as in a fleet of actual warships) not an exploration force with guns. The Enterprise wasn't the biggest badest ship in the fleet just the newest (a command cruiser by definition, just like in Star Fleet Battles) and the evidence of this is when the Enterpise almost runs head long into a saucer section as big as the ship itself (probably from the 4 nacelled Mars class Battleship seen out the view screen). The ship actually takes time to react to the captains commands (making the rest of the crew neccessary instead of the captain, the helmsmen and the guy shootin the guns the only necessary crew members). Kirk actually wasn't strong enough to fight an alien with his bear hands... infact he didn't win a single fist fight (though his shirt was still on so that may have been a factor). There was one issue I had with the movie... Chekov was rather silly. He reminded me of another character that said "Its Wego!" in a movie with slime guns, Proton packs and ghost traps that shall not be mentioned.

All in all, after seeing several of MovieBobs reviews I have to say his Criticing of movies seems to be more about who made the movie and who is in the movie instead of the movie itself and this is disappointing... not to mention that he gave transformers a bad review but GI Joe a good review (infact he seems to have gotten a line or two from a post in this thread) even though GI Joe appears to be a campy (and not Army of Darkness campy) Transformers clone movie (compare the scene were the two GI's are jumping around with the scene from the first movie where Ironhide is dodging shots from Devestator). Also, trying to be a Yatzee clone is just... campy (and not army of darkness campy). If he were more unique and had is own style (other then a red splash) it may be beter.... not to mention he might concider watching the review before putting it up so he can edit it properly so everybody could read the words that are put up for 5 frames. Also I really don't care how much you hate certain dirrectors and which actors are in the movie.... except for maybe Bruce Campbell. Yeah, I deffinatly want to know if Bruce Campbell is in the movie.

maximara:
The problem is to do that the writers had to throw out what little the canon Star Trek universe said about how time travel worked.

The City on the Edge of Forever, Tomorrow is Yesterday, Star Trek: First Contact, Past Tense (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine), The Visitor, Time and Again (Star Trek: Voyager), Future's End, Before and After (Star Trek: Voyager), Year of Hell (Star Trek: Voyager), Timeless (Star Trek: Voyager), Relativity (Star Trek: Voyager), Endgame (Star Trek: Voyager) and 10 plus episodes of Enterprise and its Temporal Cold War all say this movie has NO IDEA what it is talking about and "Parallels" (TNG) explains how Many World Theory works in the ST universe which is again contrary with the explanation we are given in the movie.

Given that under Bell's Theorem Superluminous (read Faster Than Light Communications) and Many World Theory are MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE things you have to take some liberty with the Quantum Physics to make things work in what in the end is a FICTIONAL universe that has BOTH. To this end you have to keep the physics consistent and the movie does a major fail in that regard especially with it established by canon going all the way back to the original series some 40 years ago. Bag of hammer time on the part of the writers

Who cares how it works.

Dammit Moviebob have you ever seen Voyager or Enterprise?

Those two shows were peices of shit, and let's not forget about the last movie (Star Terk Nemesis)

Star Terk needed a reboot to get rid of that crap.

Also who the fucking cares about tyler perry being in the moive for what? five minutes? No one fucking gives a shit or notic.

joe_dracos:
Chekov was rather silly. He reminded me of another character that said "Its Wego!" in a movie with slime guns, Proton packs and ghost traps that shall not be mentioned.

All in all, after seeing several of MovieBobs reviews I have to say his Criticing of movies seems to be more about who made the movie and who is in the movie instead of the movie itself and this is disappointing... not to mention that he gave transformers a bad review but GI Joe a good review (infact he seems to have gotten a line or two from a post in this thread) even though GI Joe appears to be a campy (and not Army of Darkness campy) Transformers clone movie (compare the scene were the two GI's are jumping around with the scene from the first movie where Ironhide is dodging shots from Devestator). Also, trying to be a Yatzee clone is just... campy (and not army of darkness campy). If he were more unique and had is own style (other then a red splash) it may be beter.... not to mention he might concider watching the review before putting it up so he can edit it properly so everybody could read the words that are put up for 5 frames. Also I really don't care how much you hate certain dirrectors and which actors are in the movie.... except for maybe Bruce Campbell. Yeah, I deffinatly want to know if Bruce Campbell is in the movie.

I think the problem with MovieBob now is he's becoming what he claims hates so much, a hardcore gamer/ fanboy (plus he's a massive weeaboo). He sure in hell acts like one now a days. He doesn't care what's it about if he doesn't like something he's right and they're wroung.

As for Chekov I think they were poking fun of his TOS accent, it worked for the most part (like him tring to enter his password) but over time it gotten kinda annoying.

WOOOOOOOO MOVIE BOB!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!!

You would be perfect if you would fix the audio.

715:
As for Chekov I think they were poking fun of his TOS accent, it worked for the most part (like him tring to enter his password) but over time it gotten kinda annoying.

my problem wasn't with the accent... it was the rediculous way he looked (like the guy who says "It's Wigo!" in ghostbusters II. I just couldn't stand it. He looked irritating (I'm not commenting on his personality) and the hair bouncing up and down... gah! G-GAH!

I really liked the first Transformers, tho the sequel...well I'm a forgiving guy, but no, not happening with that one.

Star Trek...well I'm relatively new to the series, and it really blew me away. I've always been somewhat of a Star Wars geek, so that's a real step on my part =]

O.K, now that I've taken off the rose tinted glasses I watched Trek with (now using them to look at The Expendables) I can see it as very flawed but still very good, and very fun but I can see why you didn't like it, a lot of the humnour doesn't blend with what Star Trek is and interupts from the experience.

Personally I think once JJ is more comfortable with Trek, Trek 2 will be like The Dark Knight was to Batman Begins.

Incicentally, who gives a frick about Tyler Perry, he wasn't dressed up as Madea, he was acting, it's his job. I didn't notice till you brought it up and almost nobody will notice except the people who really obsess over Tyler Perry.

Man i've almost forgotten how much he ripped into this movie XD

I enjoyed the movie. But i watched as a summer popcorn flick, not as a faithful re-tell/re-writing of the Star Trek Franchise. Much like how i enjoyed all the Star Trek movies with Jean Luc Picard XD (<3 Star Trek: The Next Generation)

Well, it made up for the new captin kirk by Leonard Nimroy being in it. If you don't agree with me then you are just stupid because Leonard Nimroy is fucking great!

joe_dracos:

All in all, after seeing several of MovieBobs reviews I have to say his Criticing of movies seems to be more about who made the movie and who is in the movie instead of the movie itself and this is disappointing... not to mention that he gave transformers a bad review but GI Joe a good review (infact he seems to have gotten a line or two from a post in this thread) even though GI Joe appears to be a campy (and not Army of Darkness campy) Transformers clone movie (compare the scene were the two GI's are jumping around with the scene from the first movie where Ironhide is dodging shots from Devestator). Also, trying to be a Yatzee clone is just... campy (and not army of darkness campy). If he were more unique and had is own style (other then a red splash) it may be beter.... not to mention he might concider watching the review before putting it up so he can edit it properly so everybody could read the words that are put up for 5 frames. Also I really don't care how much you hate certain dirrectors and which actors are in the movie.... except for maybe Bruce Campbell. Yeah, I deffinatly want to know if Bruce Campbell is in the movie.

That is because Transformers tries to get you to care about the stupid human charecters thru terrible acting instead of focusing on the excitement like GI Joe did.

Movie bob analyzes allot more than you give him credit for. He made valid points about all the character being stereotypes, allot of the action being awkward and shoehorned in and the script being a pile of ass. Did you even watch the video? He goes into great detail about the movie itself even while he is bashing the people behind it that he doesn't like. These reviews are deep, well thought out and just generally very very good.

Moviebob is A LOT more intelligent than Zero punctuation. He makes valid points without the video being 90% swears and dick jokes.To call him a Yahzee clone just speaks for your own lack of listening skills. Pay attention to the review instead of tuning it out because he didn't like the movie.

While I generally agree to the points MovieBob makes (sometimes I feel he's focusing on the wrong things but reviews are never objective so who cares), this vendetta against the kid who took his lunch money and who somehow is directly or indirectly responsible for everything that's bad about today's movies has got to go.

I mean, come on. Saying a movie is moronic is one thing. Constantly complaining about how some vague idea of a stereotypical drooling moron is your personal version of Satan is just plain pathetic.

Star Trek.....was good!

the original star trek had lame jokes, hilariously bad fight scenes, cool sci-fi concepts, extremely thin social commentaries and great acting.

the new star trek movie has FUNNY jokes, cool special effects and fight scenes, new and refreshing sci-fi concepts (i mean really, Red Matter is a cool concept) and great acting.

get over yourself, seriously, we all know that you're supposed to be some star trek elite who's sole purpose is to shun off anything relatively new when it comes star trek.

jesus f*cking christ...

EDIT: from above poster's reply

"While I generally agree to the points MovieBob makes (sometimes I feel he's focusing on the wrong things but reviews are never objective so who cares), this vendetta against the kid who took his lunch money and who somehow is directly or indirectly responsible for everything that's bad about today's movies has got to go.

I mean, come on. Saying a movie is moronic is one thing. Constantly complaining about how some vague idea of a stereotypical drooling moron is your personal version of Satan is just plain pathetic."

spot on.

I'm glad Bob completley destroyed this movie. To all the people who are saying the review was stupid, you are among the demographic this movie was targeting. The reason why it was crap is because it carries the Star Trek name, but in name only. If they hadn't tried to make it Star Trek and just made it an original storyline I don't think Bob would be so cruel to it.

But Because it's a reboot, it's only riding on the coat tails of the original franchise.

Baby Tea:

Slycne:
If this was any other generic action space movie I think I would agree with you, but Star Trek carries quite a depth to it. So I think it's a fair assessment to expect more of it.

But that's my point! As soon as it has a brand, then it better be epic or it'll be decried. It's higher rated then any previous Star Trek film, according to Meta Critic, but it gets a '6' for what? X-Men Origins slaughtered at the box office, and so did Transformers...but they are bad because...? They aren't like the show? The cartoon? The comic book?
Where has the simple enjoyment gone?

I hear halo sold well...

I honestly feel sorry for bob...perhaps if original movies came out that were terrible instead of the endless stream of remakes he wouldn't be judged so poorly.

He doesn't even like the original! all he's doing is trashing the movie and then trashing the "beloved pop culture" good old star trek...typical he just doesn't want trekies(or whatever) to hate him because he likes the movie which probably is hated by the majority of the star trek original fan base because its glossing over or taking credit for all the support the trekies gave it by watching the original.

Hyper-space:
Star Trek.....was good!

the original star trek had lame jokes, hilariously bad fight scenes, cool sci-fi concepts, extremely thin social commentaries and great acting.

the new star trek movie has FUNNY jokes, cool special effects and fight scenes, new and refreshing sci-fi concepts (i mean really, Red Matter is a cool concept) and great acting.

get over yourself, seriously, we all know that you're supposed to be some star trek elite who's sole purpose is to shun off anything relatively new when it comes star trek.

jesus f*cking christ...

EDIT: from above poster's reply

"While I generally agree to the points MovieBob makes (sometimes I feel he's focusing on the wrong things but reviews are never objective so who cares), this vendetta against the kid who took his lunch money and who somehow is directly or indirectly responsible for everything that's bad about today's movies has got to go.

I mean, come on. Saying a movie is moronic is one thing. Constantly complaining about how some vague idea of a stereotypical drooling moron is your personal version of Satan is just plain pathetic."

spot on.

I TOTALLY 100% agree, this movie made me LIKE Star Trek.

I haven't agreed with you so completely since...well Transformers 2. My hat would be off to you if I wore one.

Good review, he's more or less right the film is not bad but god....its cheap story wise....I hope the next film is worth while....

Oh.......... and Transformers sucked...hard core... sorry.... it just dose...get over it.... and the newer one was even worse........ but really I could not tell which was worse Star trek or Wolverine.... both were not utterly made of fail but both felt like a kick in the groin....

Hyper-space:
Star Trek.....was good!

The fact that you had to pause before being able to finish that statement leads me to believe you hesitated out of doubt.

the new star trek movie has FUNNY jokes, cool special effects and fight scenes, new and refreshing sci-fi concepts (i mean really, Red Matter is a cool concept) and great acting.

Red Matter was a terrible Deus Ex Machina plot device, and little more. I won't even bore you by going into the details of why creating not just one, but two black holes like that would greatly alter the face of our galaxy. Simply the fact that it's the only thing they could come-up with for how they got thrown back in time, and why the main villain is such a threat. They bit off more than they could chew, couldn't come up with anything decent to explain why the timeline is being reset, and just said "Fuck it, let's just throw some bullshit together about black holes."

I could go on and on about the bad plot in the movie. You enjoyed the movie, good for you. So did I, to be honest. That doesn't mean that Movie Bob doesn't have a point.

I personally enjoyed the Star Trek movie. There's one catch, however. You MUST turn off your brain. Everything I liked about it could be quickly nerfed by one simple problem. The whole movie is driven by a plot hole the size of the galaxy itself.

************SPOILER ALERT**************

If the whole reason the bad guy (who's name I can't be bothered to remember) is so pissed off and out for blood is because Spock didn't get to the planet fast enough to save it, but he KNOWS he's gone back in time, why bother trying to attack Federation ships and punish Spock when you could... Oh... I don't know... Go save the friggin' planet!

Other than that. Decent movie. Yes, it was "jocked" up a bit, but let's face it, Star Trek could always have gained by it being a little more watchable.

I felt that the movie was a good series reboot. The new ship design I felt wasn't really needed.

They should have somehow added to the beginning of the movie, what was in the comic to help people figure out how Spock got to where he is in time now.

Haha. Most people on here who think moviebob is a hack are the people who liked transformers/wolverine/startrek/etc. And what's with comparing moviebob and zeropunctuation? Mr. Yahtzee focuses only on the bad things in a review, he even said that he got a lot of negative feedback when he actually reviewed a game and said it was good. Mr. Bob notes the good and the bad.... which are his opinions. Now, I don't even think of bob as a reviewer. I think of him as that friend you have who is really into a certain topic and analyzes everything about it, but even though he has his biases you still know most things he says are accurate. At least as far as the technical side goes. Like kirk being poorly acted, etc. You might have enjoyed the movie... moviebob said he also enjoyed it. But "enjoying" and "liking a good movie" are different things completely.

Also, people were actually offended by the cursing? I don't curse very often, but swear words are, in fact, just words. There happen to be other more eloquent ways to express your opinions.... but they are just words also. The word c%nt is the only word I would except as offensive. It just sounds offensive, though, doesn't it?

Zachary Quinto is actually one of my favourite actors...He plays his rolls very nice

I think this is probably the one thing that I've ever disagreed with Moviebob most about when it comes to things I am interested in. (Except for how much he hates on Halo. I've never played it online but I've thought the whole series has been a pretty cool sci-fi adventure, especially the second game)

Now, I'm not the biggest Trek fan in the world, but I do really enjoy the series, I've seen quite a lot of the original series, next generation, and enterprise and really enjoyed them. I've seen Voyager and that's pretty hit or miss, I'd say about half of the episodes have a net positive effect and when it's bad it's REALLY bad *cough*threshold*cough*, and I just have never seen DS9. Now, I've enjoyed a lot of Star Trek and the movies are no exception. Some of them are lacking of course. V comes to mind as just plain old silly, I is PAINFULLY slow, III suffers from just being OK between two really good movies, Generations is strangely low-key compared to how big and awesome the series got in some of the movies, and there's nothing really wrong with Insurrection other than that it just sort of feels like any old episode of the show and again being between the two really great movies.
Having said that, I enjoyed every single one of those movies. The closest one that comes to being bad for me is the fifth movie and even that has some pretty good character moments and insights, and as bad as the effects are for "God" I thought the conflict with him nicely illustrated the big Trek theme of "together, we can overcome anything". So maybe my standards for liking a movie aren't all that high?
Having said all THAT, I really enjoyed this new Star Trek movie. I went into the theater expecting it to suck pretty hard, like Bob said, the ads made it seem like they were aiming it at an audience it wasn't meant for, and was pleasantly surprised. I didn't really have a hard time accepting any coincidences because we know the end result has to be that the entire crew is together, so I just took it as a way to keep the story exciting given that tenant. Overall, I enjoyed the acting quite a lot, and didn't really notice any glaringly bad scripting. I guess as a serious critic, you've got to be a little more specific than I do, but I enjoyed the movie overall.

I only just discovered movie bob, but I'll be back. He's an excellent reviewer, thoughtful and entertaining. Well, he swears too much... but otherwise I really enjoy him. I like his analysis and I particularly enjoy getting his take on a film when I disagree with him on a review.

Kinda like now.

I thought this movie was complete and utter crap. I'm not the kind of movie goer that can forgive a bad script for whiz-bang special effects and gasoline explosions.

If anyone cares I expressed my opinion on "newtrek" a long time ago...
http://urksoutpost.blogspot.com/2010/01/star-trek-rest-in-peace-old-friend.html

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