Review: Stalin vs. Martians

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Review: Stalin vs. Martians

Stalin vs. Martians is incredibly Russian, incredibly absurd, and incredibly not-very-good.

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I knew something with such an absurd name couldn't be good.

The humor in this game is preety good actually. Everything else sucks.

They didn't even bother to crop the pointer, it looks like a square o.O I liked the intro speech xD

Three minutes of soviet national anthem? Oh lord.

I'm quite sure the bolshevik on a bicycle is only there to make you go 'wtf?' though.

This game had some much potential behind it. Alas, maybe it just wasn't ment to be. The multicoloured dots were the most annoying enemy in the game.

I actually kinda, just a bit, only a little, liked it *hides*

neuromasser:
They didn't even bother to crop the pointer, it looks like a square o.O I liked the intro speech xD

To be fair, that's actually a weird little glitch in the recording software we used. We couldn't get it to go away. It doesn't ACTUALLY look like that in the game.

I'm curious whether or not 'or die trying' really was a way to finish that level..
Did you try that "strategy"?

Aww, and I was looking forward to this game, too. Oh well.

So Noby Noby Boy remains the best bizarre game this year?

NoMoreSanity:
I knew something with such an absurd name couldn't be good.

Plants vs Zombies?

Granted I haven't played it, but this game just looks like it tries too hard to be humorous, but fails terribly. And since humor was meant to be the focal point of the game, it just makes the rest look bad as well. That and the game just... doesn't look interesting. Why am I playing this game when I could play Command and Conquer or Starcraft? Because of the humor? Oh but wait, that fails, too. :/

The whole premise was flawed. They said they'd make a "casual" RTS without base building but that would mean appealing to newbies. Most if not all RTS newbies play RTSes as a combination of SimCity and "select all, attack move". Base building is the only strategy they know. Cut that out and you'd have to make it a game about micro and such which RTS newbies consider completely foreign. They just spam the heaviest units and attack move. There's a reason the real casual RTSes consist entirely of base building (tower defense).

hmm...do like cats?

Soviet propaganda are go!

Bah! No surprise there. It was obvious that game would fail.

EDIT: There is nothing special about a Bolshevik on a bicycle., both just start with "B"

I figured as much when it's been out a week or so and it's already on 60% discount on steam. That just smells of desperation.

Indigo_Dingo:
So Noby Noby Boy remains the best bizarre game this year?

How could it not? Stretching yourself to report yourself to a girl, and then eating things and shooting them out your but. Yep, that is much stranger than Stalin fighting Martians.

...I like cats :II3

I am such a dirty commie that I have to play this, hell even go so far as to exchange extra labor capital to buy it. Also I appreciate when people can laugh at themselves, and the fact that a bunch of Russians designed it with all the stereotypes and caricatures of the RKKA...I'm still laughing from the video and can't type.

Work on the russian accent John :)
Anyway, I kinda expected this game to suck. Does the sillyness outweigh it?

Yes I do like cats :P

well i like the "do you like cats" and the music... but im too bad at rts to give it a try when it's considered "hard" by someone who plays games for a living =/

I definitely have to pick this game up, it looks hillarious, and Im thinkin I might like the soundtrack as well.

would get it just to have it

i mean cmon its stalin v martians what else do you want?

Aw man, I really wanted this game to do well.

Seriously, with an awesome premise like that, how could you go wrong?

I guess I'll have to get my fill of Russians beating people up from TF2 then...Okay!

Moriarty:
well i like the "do you like cats" and the music... but im too bad at rts to give it a try when it's considered "hard" by someone who plays games for a living =/

To be fair, it wasn't hard because it was a particularly hard RTS. It was hard because of clunky controls. So hey, maybe experience with RTS made me *worse* at the game, since it wasn't what I was used to. Who knows?

headshotcatcher:
Work on the russian accent John :)
Anyway, I kinda expected this game to suck. Does the sillyness outweigh it?

Yes I do like cats :P

Yeaaaah, I know :P

Hm. The silliness is worth a bit of enjoyment. $15 bucks worth? That's a value call, honestly.

At least we didn't see Stalin's grave, I'm sure that's a Communist plot.

Hmm interesting review, i almost want to say i knew the game sounded too good to be true. In true communist sentiment, all RTS are equal but some are more equal than others.

Rhayn:
Three minutes of soviet national anthem? Oh lord.

I'm quite sure the bolshevik on a bicycle is only there to make you go 'wtf?' though.

I actually have that recording (a very famous one) on my Mp3 player.

I got this game and loved it. It makes lots of sense to have you loose half your troops though, it's basically their strategy. I mainly love this game because of Stalin though. That just makes it 10x better and funnier.
Also, that die trying thing. Should say "Not a step backwards." Now that would truly be Stalin-esque.

Oh, and if you want to know. A Bolshevik was a political party in USSR in the 20's, at least I believe it was in the 20's. I'm not sure why one of them riding a bicycle is funny though.

One more thing, the USSR anthem is skippable. I of course decided against skipping it though ;)

Frank_Sinatra_:

Indigo_Dingo:
So Noby Noby Boy remains the best bizarre game this year?

How could it not? Stretching yourself to report yourself to a girl, and then eating things and shooting them out your but. Yep, that is much stranger than Stalin fighting Martians.

The key term was best. As in, the most enjoyable game that attempts to be as bizzarre as possible.

Could this be the start of a new reign of VS games? Trees vs Cats! Handtowels vs Mice! Lightglobes vs Army Men!

itdoesntmatter:
I'm curious whether or not 'or die trying' really was a way to finish that level..
Did you try that "strategy"?

Nope, you fail :P lol
That's from experience too. All truth!

Nice review.

I've been following this game since I saw the first trailer. I figured the gameplay wouldn't be very good. I'd still like to play it though.

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