Zero Punctuation: Valkyria Chronicles

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lol. yatzhee should just stop reviewing jRPGS, it seems like he's in so much pain

mike1921:

harhol:
If snipers are only hitting one in ten shots then I suggest he either reads the instruction manual or retires from playing video games.

Quit playing videogames? Because he's not good at JRPGs? Fuck you. Also, I highly doubt that any game where you have to play 1/3 of it for it to get good ever will get good.

The way snipers work in VC: you line up the reticule over the enemy soldier until it turns red, then you press fire. Unless the enemy is of a markedly higher level (usually one of these guys on each map, sometimes none) or has a special dodging ability (almost always limited to the aforementioned) then the shot will hit 95% of the time. If the enemy has his back turned, the shot will hit 100% of the time. Not to mention that some snipers have special abilities which boost accuracy & prevent dodging. There is no skill involved because the game is paused while you aim. So if he's only hitting 1/10 of the time, he's doing something wrong; it's not about being "good at JRPGs". And you don't have to play 1/3 of the game for it to "get good": like most games it starts off with limited customization options and gives you more & more choices as you progress (like starting off with a knife & pistol in an action game and finishing off with a full arsenal & super powers).

mike1921:
It's definitely not a failure for a game reviewer to not mention [graphics].

If the graphics are noteworthy, they should be mentioned. I've bought several games based on graphics alone, some of which I've regretted (Auto Modellista, Viewtiful Joe) and some of which I've savoured (Killer 7, Rez). Polygons may not be important but visuals certainly are.

I get the impression that he liked the gameplay at least, just not the tedious micromanagement and cutscenes. it seems like he didn't really get the point of the enemies being able to attack you during your turn and vice versa (it allows you to set up ambushes.)

harhol:

The way snipers work in VC: you line up the reticule over the enemy soldier until it turns red, then you press fire. Unless the enemy is of a markedly higher level (usually one of these guys on each map, sometimes none) or has a special dodging ability (almost always limited to the aforementioned) then the shot will hit 95% of the time. Not to mention that some snipers have special abilities which boost accuracy & prevent dodging. There is no skill involved because the game is paused while you aim. So if he's only hitting 1/10 of the time, he's doing something wrong; it's not about being "good at JRPGs". And you don't have to play 1/3 of the game for it to "get good": like most games it starts off with limited customization options and gives you more & more choices as you progress (like starting off with a knife & pistol in an action game and finishing off with a full arsenal & super powers).

It should also be noted that from the description, he was probably using Oscar, who is the worst sniper in the game, and a large part of his character. He wouldn't have gotten those results with say, Cezary, or .. what's her face, with the inexplicable accent.

"Some things just don't combine, like republicans and compassion."

Had me falling out of my seat in laughter. Yahtzee, you marvelous bastard.

He must not have played very far, because the story gets a LOT worse and he didn't mention the cutscenes very many times.

Someone send him a crate of stress medication before he goes on a killing spree, he sounded like he was ready to rip people's jugulars out with his teeth.

Is it just me, or is he getting angrier?

Evil Tim:

harhol:
They're completely different genres. Valkyria Chronicles is no more a JRPG than Gears of War.

Yeah, it's just a Japanese game in which you take part in turn-based combat with a squad of oddball characters in silly costumes who talk a lot. Totally different to a JRPG, that. Not, for example, all the trappings of a JRPG stacked on top of a slightly different game.

You're talking about turn-based combat like it's some kind of unified entity. Devil May Cry and Half-Life have real-time combat, guess they must be the same huh? The country of its origin is irrelevant. The story tropes are derived from animé, not JRPGs. Not to mention that the gameplay is completely different, e.g. one of the main features of JRPGs is exploration, something which TRPGs never feature.

The anomation during the credits reminded me of the third Indiana Jones movie.
Today, I learnt a new word: motherfuckery

LOL That was funny. It started to get really funny at the end! XD

LOl at gears of war refrence with the chest high walls(they using gears of war 2 box as a chest high wall)

I love the evil empire and republican joke.

Usually I enjoy watching Zero Punctuation, but this time I was really disgusted. I played Valkryia Chronicles and it was one of the best game I've ever experienced last year. I felt like Yahtzee only tried the game for an hour.

you made a whole episode based on the fact that you are not raceist, and now you support hitler? Ow the poaradox is beautiful. Also loved the are you shure joke.

odisious15:
Well watching that saved me from buying a PS3 for the sole purpose of playing Valkryia Chronicles. Guess I'll stick to my PC for gaming and hope we get more JRPG's withing the next decade or two.
As for the review hilarious as always.

Try 'Last Remenant'. Made by Square Enix, it has it's flaws but overall it is a very good and enjoyable game. The battle system is unique and the story is ok. The biggest letdown would be the main character, but other than that, a worth while game.

It's always painful to watch Yahtzee review games that are good rather than ones that are universally bad. The bad ones we can all equally enjoy him ranting about, but only those that don't like that specific genre can enjoy him verbally asaulting a game with an average review score close to 90%.

I find him funny with pretty much every episode, and this one wasn't an exception; however, while I find his ranting really funny, without a lot of actual valid points about why the game is bad (instead of rambling about how he doesn't like the genre as a whole), the episode just boils down to a well thought out trolling.

People might argue that he's like that with every episode, but I'd have to disagree. Most of the games he digs into are mediocre at best, and if they're worse than that... he tends to be giddy as a schoolgirl, because he has lots to talk about. I swear he was pissed at this game half because he was playing a genre he hates, and half because he was running out of shit to make fun of.

Republicans and compassion? I don't even get it. Plenty of Republicans have done compassionate things, such as donating to charity or generally being helpful. Reagan himself kept a stack of blank checks in his desk, and if anybody needed something, without being asked, he would pull one out, write in a number and sign it. I've heard of statistics showing that, at times, Republicans have higher rates of charitable donation than Democrats OF SIMILAR INCOME. Plus, I truly don't agree with what the Republican party has become, but I still believe that they do what they think is right for the country. Is trying to help people not compassionate? Just because you're against giving more money to more failed government programs that hurt people more in the end, you're uncompassionate?

Yahtzee isn't an american, and I'm sure that he doesn't give a flying f**k in the first place. It was really more of a pop culture joke. The kind that Family Guy fans think is hilarious. Oh Scott McFarlan (sp?) keep cranking out those winners....

lots of ppl were banned
WHY IS IT ALWAYS ZP?!

I really liked this weeks episode it really made my giggle. Nazi's rule!!!!! if u r into that.

And one more person falls prey to the contrived connection between the presence of compassion and the mindset that the federal government is the ONLY possible implementation of said compassion.

Or even the best implementation.

Or even a very good one.

But excellent humor fodder for viewers who can fit their political philosophy on a bumper sticker.

This one actually had some good jokes/analogies for once. Bravo.

OMG he needs to review more JRPG's this was GOLD! hahahaha xD

Lotsa Rage in this one... Just the way I Like it!

hundred ninety eighth!

awe, I really enjoyed this and the game, while it's not perfect I liked that the developers tried something new. The part where he talked about only being able to upgrade weapons in one direction proves that he didn't play the game for that long, eventually you do get 2 to 3 different upgrade paths to chose from.

As far as the story goes his quote "sometimes things don't combine" is spot on about Yahtzee and jrpg's, I thought it was good, you're not the boy who wants to be a hero, he's just trying to protect his hometown/family/friends and would rather be a teacher than a war hero. still love zero punctuation but should've givien VC more of a chance.

I can't blame him for that...I mean honestly with some of these games I find myself wanting the badguys to win for once...anyway I love these videos and I look forward to seeing them.

I love Yatzee's reviews, but I really wish people would not judge whether or not to buy games based on a reviewer who exagerates problems for comedic effect and rage.....

Also Disgaea 3 probably would have been more up his ally.

viscountesslafiel:

odisious15:
Well watching that saved me from buying a PS3 for the sole purpose of playing Valkryia Chronicles. Guess I'll stick to my PC for gaming and hope we get more JRPG's withing the next decade or two.
As for the review hilarious as always.

You're incredibly stupid if you think Yatzees opinion means much, especially when he reviews a genre he hates.

Well if you think about it if he doesn't seem to find that much wrong with it then the game must be godly good.

PS: Any one notice that Nazi rhymes with Yahtzee?

Androgynous

Alien1375:
Putting your units at strategic parts of the map during your turn to attack the enemy, and letting the enemy do the same in his turn sounds like a turn-based strategy game to me...

Now walking with a group trough a landscape and being randomly attacked by monsters while the group sticks together to fight the enemy one at the time is closer to my definition of a RPG.

Wow...I'm...I'm sorry, but I have to buy you a beer...that made my day. I've never met anyone who's never played Eternal Poison, Disgaea 1, 2, or 3, Kartia, Hoshigami: Ruining Blue Earth, Fire Emblem, Vandal Hearts, Final Fantasy Tactics (in any of its incarnations), or any of the NUMEROUS other JRPGs with tactical elements. I know I'm missing a few.

lol i love the hitler imp at the end :p

That was better than last weeks, I think?

Wow.
I can't get over how surprised I am that he did this game.
On that note, why does he keep doing obvious anime style jrpgs when everywhen and their dog knows he doesn't like their aesthetics?
Have him do Planetscape Torment if he wants to really ratchet up the nerd rage.

I was both surprised and full of dread when I saw Valkyria chronicles.

Personally, I enjoy JRPGs but I do understand that the genre isn't for everyone. I also understand that the same can be said about Western RPGs, First Person Shooters, and pretty much any other genre.

So, after considering that, you learn pretty quick--unless you're a retard--that a genre isn't bad because you don't like it. You don't like the genre because A.) You SUCK at it or B.) It just doesn't tickle your fancy.

Actually, I have a theory about why RPGs of that sort aren't popular with certain people. Short attention spans. Short attention spans, lack of patience (IE a need for instant gratification) and the strong desire to hit things with a metaphorical club. Story and plot seem to take a back seat to violence and super violence. Of course, this is me being jaded and I might be exaggerating a little.

As for why he wanted to review one, clearly someone wasn't paying attention. He did a RTS and a flight Sim, two genres he doesn't normally do so he decided to top it off with an RPG.

Funny, as always, but it's been a while since ZP reviewed a game that actually mattered (with the exception of RE5). I mean this, HAWX, Riddick, Siren, 50 Cent... these are nothing-games that weren't going anywhere to begin with.

It's always much better if Yahtzee gives it to big/successful game. I'd have loved to see him rip up Dawn of War II or Empire: Total War, but sadly these are RTS games, and he isn't big on that.

---

Otherwise, his summary of JRPG's is equivalent to mine- eeeeaaagggh.

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