Zero Punctuation: Valkyria Chronicles

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I was kind've surprised when he admitted he might be able to get into turn-based games. Not as surprised when he said the game made him sympathize with the Nazis. ;]

otterbeans:
He's really picking the wrong JRPG's to play.

I mean, look at it. It's by Sega. When was the last time Sega released a great game?

Because I don't remember.

Umm i don't know maybe
MADWORLD
Crush
Ghost Squad
Phantasy Star
Yakuza
Rez
Condemmed: Criminal origins
Total War
House of the Dead Overkill

Just naming a few.

I own the Last Remnant for the PC and I very much enjoyed it; and I do agree that the main character was quite lackluster.[/quote]

Huh. Always wanted to try that one...is it a "get it now" sort of thing, or should I look for online content delivery, with the hopes of a reduced price?[/quote]

I picked it up at Walmart for $30 and I'm pretty sure it's still going for $40 on Steam. As for whether or not it's a "get it now game" I'd say yes if you're like me and aren't a huge fan of JRPG's but are looking for something the PC doesn't usually get much of... ever.

Judithia:
@ otterbeans.

Umm i don't know maybe
MADWORLD
Crush
Ghost Squad
Phantasy Star
Yakuza
Rez
Condemmed: Criminal origins
Total War
House of the Dead Overkill

Just naming a few.

Something that wasn't an FPS or gorefest. Can't stand em.

And I never was able to get into Phantasy Star.

Yes! Play X-COM and definitely include your opinion on it in a video. I loved that game when I first got it and it still stands up today. I was saddened when my Gold Edition stopped working in Windows XP and gratified when it was released by Steam recently. The DOS emulator crushes my compter's soul in myriad ways, but it's a small price to pay for nearly glitch-free X-COM.

It definitely requires a generous or era-sensitive mindset to overcome the most dated gameplay elements but I know of nothing that has come even close to recapturing its singular joys and terrors.

If you want any help or advice with the game's undeniable quirks, feel free to message me.

mike1921:

Onyx Oblivion:
Don't know why I watch this anymore...It's just not funny anymore, and he never actually reviews the game. He even failed to mention the beautiful art style.

There's only so much JRPG bashing that I can take before my head asplodes.

He rarely mentions graphics. Remember the crysis review? He wants to work the story and gameplay gnomes. Sure, he gave a mention in his thief review but that wasn't really a criticism. Mentions of graphics shouldn't be an expectation, unless the person reviewing is a graphics whore.

In a case like this, I believe they deserve a mention. Have you seen the beautiful style of this game?

otterbeans:

Judithia:
@ otterbeans.

Umm i don't know maybe
MADWORLD
Crush
Ghost Squad
Phantasy Star
Yakuza
Rez
Condemmed: Criminal origins
Total War
House of the Dead Overkill

Just naming a few.

Something that wasn't an FPS or gorefest. Can't stand em.

And I never was able to get into Phantasy Star.

Total war is a series of Stratagy games.
Rez is hard to explain but its not a fps or gore fest
Yakuza is a beat 'em up
Crush is a 3D - 2D platformer

Oh and Valkyria Chronicals is a fantastic game, infact Yahtzee is the only person i have seen bash it and all his points are proved to be total lies so his opinion is moot

This game was actually my 2008 game of the year. An under appreciated gem that was simply released at the wrong time (alongside many other AAA games). The graphics simply had me in awe for my first few missions, the gameplay is unique which is great with the amount of same stuff we have floating around the video game industry at the moment.

If you have a ps3 I recommend at least downloading the demo (free of course) from the playstation store and then pass judgement.

PS. I don't really remember any outrageous haircuts in my playthrough.
PPS It's a JRTS, not a JRPG

Autocracy:

McGee:
I have to agree with Yahtzee, but I also LOATHE JRPGs or games that have heavy anime themes. My best friend absolutely loves these games and it seems like every other week he has a new one for me to try. A few weeks ago it was this rubbish game. I sat through 3 hours of play before I absolutely couldn't take it any longer. The thing I agree with Yahtzee the most on is the menu system.

Oh boy. Don't like menus? I hate to tell you this but it's not just Japanese RPGS that have great big menus. Eh, I suggest you not try any MMO. Especially not Eve Online. That gets complicated fast. Witcher? Yeah, don't go there. Some might argue that some of the Resident Evil Games get complicated but that's up for debate.

Well, to be honest....I kind of hate MMOs too...

Their's alot of people commenting on here saying they hate the game just because yahtzee hates it its rather silly even more so is the fact that yathzee hates the whole JRPG genre so this review was biased from the get go. Why don't you lovely people just play the game for yourself (prehaps the demo or sumthing) and then past judgements on it aye.

Yathzee's reviews are just a bit of fun and shouldn't be taken seriously at all and above all it shudn't affect the games you purchase.

McGee:

Autocracy:

McGee:
I have to agree with Yahtzee, but I also LOATHE JRPGs or games that have heavy anime themes. My best friend absolutely loves these games and it seems like every other week he has a new one for me to try. A few weeks ago it was this rubbish game. I sat through 3 hours of play before I absolutely couldn't take it any longer. The thing I agree with Yahtzee the most on is the menu system.

Oh boy. Don't like menus? I hate to tell you this but it's not just Japanese RPGS that have great big menus. Eh, I suggest you not try any MMO. Especially not Eve Online. That gets complicated fast. Witcher? Yeah, don't go there. Some might argue that some of the Resident Evil Games get complicated but that's up for debate.

Well, to be honest....I kind of hate MMOs too...

I never had a problem with the menus to be honest, neither did my 13 year old sister.

some one care to explain whats wrong with them?

I agree wholeheartedly on the cutscenes. Why the fuck do I have to click on another cutscene after finising the 3rd cutscene in a row now.

im trying to remember if I've played the demo or not. is that the one where you run around fighting nazis and turn into wherewolves for some reason? If it was, that game blew total ass. Though I hate pretty much any RPG that doesnt keep you at very least as active as oblivion, so maybe that means i just dont like the genre.

Guitarmasterx7:
im trying to remember if I've played the demo or not. is that the one where you run around fighting nazis and turn into wherewolves for some reason? If it was, that game blew total ass. Though I hate pretty much any RPG that doesnt keep you at very least as active as oblivion, so maybe that means i just dont like the genre.

No thats a xbox 360 game called Operation: Darkness.

Valkyria Chronicals is a PS3 exclusive

otterbeans:

Judithia:
@ otterbeans.

Umm i don't know maybe
MADWORLD
Crush
Ghost Squad
Phantasy Star
Yakuza
Rez
Condemmed: Criminal origins
Total War
House of the Dead Overkill

Just naming a few.

Something that wasn't an FPS or gorefest. Can't stand em.

And I never was able to get into Phantasy Star.

Ever play Skies of Arcadia?

Grayjack72:

otterbeans:

Judithia:
@ otterbeans.

Umm i don't know maybe
MADWORLD
Crush
Ghost Squad
Phantasy Star
Yakuza
Rez
Condemmed: Criminal origins
Total War
House of the Dead Overkill

Just naming a few.

Something that wasn't an FPS or gorefest. Can't stand em.

And I never was able to get into Phantasy Star.

Ever play Skies of Arcadia?

I was just listing recent games since he said he couldn't remember the last time Sega made a great game, Skies is amazing but quite a bit older.

You know, I have never evoked the /thread before, but I feel I have to now:

This is ENTERTAINMENT. Yes, you are entitled to think that "Yahtzee is wrong/is a lousy game player/is biased against JRPGs/didn't play enough of the game/is (whatever excuse makes you feel less butthurt)", if that honestly makes you feel better that he doesn't happen to have the same glowing opinion of a game that you really, really like.

However, the rest of us here don't really give a flying fuck about YOUR opinion: we're here to see YAHTZEE'S because he makes us laugh!

You really want to 'take issue' with Yahtzee??? Then, FFS, stop whining in a comment thread that less than 10% of his fans are going to bother to read and produce a product that will attract our attention away from him!

Otherwise...

Shut.
The.
FUCK.
Up!

LumiHawke:

Grayjack72:

LumiHawke:
Is my favorite PS3 game! lol Odd I never got a yes/no or are you sure when watching cut scenes........ Also there were more than 1 path for upgrading weapons, I wonder if he even finished the game. >.<;

I doubt it. He probably only got to Chapter 4. No Hans or Selvaria reference.

Nor any other odd ball characters. I found it funny he called the Alliance the goodies, and Empire the baddies when in fact they were both really the baddies in a way, and heck even a few people in your own country you can slap "baddie" on.

And he also never mentioned the whole Valkyur aspect or the Darcsan persecution. How little did he actually play?

NoMoreSanity:
I agree wholeheartedly on the cutscenes. Why the fuck do I have to click on another cutscene after finising the 3rd cutscene in a row now.

Because a fair few are completely optional to see at all and are just there for the puposes of furthering the history and characterisation within the game.

i like jrpgs but this is not a jrpg its a srpg

solidstatemind:
You know, I have never evoked the /thread before, but I feel I have to now:

This is ENTERTAINMENT. Yes, you are entitled to think that "Yahtzee is wrong/is a lousy game player/is biased against JRPGs/ is whatever", if that honestly makes you feel better that he doesn't happen to have the same glowing opinion of a game that you really, really like.

However, the rest of us here don't really give a flying fuck about YOUR opinion: we're here to see YAHTZEE'S because he makes us laugh!

You really want to 'take issue' with Yahtzee??? Then, FFS, stop whining in a comment thread that less than 10% of his fans are going to bother to read and produce a product that will attract our attention away from him!

Otherwise...

Shut.
The.
FUCK.
Up!

Some one woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning :3

How about if you don't like what other people are saying you simply ignore it.
I think its resonable to be a tad confused why he is "reviewing" a game he clearly hasnt played for very long while making a whole bunch of points that are completly incorect.

Judithia:

Some one woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning :3

How about if you don't like what other people are saying you simply ignore it.
I think its resonable to be a tad confused why he is "reviewing" a game he clearly hasnt played for very long while making a whole bunch of points that are completly incorect.

OK, stipulated that I'm a little grumpy. But still, that doesn't change matters: Exactly what do you think all these complaints are accomplishing? Do you honestly think that Yahtzee is reading them and thinking to himself:

"Oh dear! I apparently have sinned against my constituency by not completing every game that I review!!" (Let us leave aside the aspect of the "if Yahtzee is frustrated by being an 'everyman' type player, I probably would be frustrated as well, since I'm not obsessed with all things Japan")

He's not. His job is to generate hits to the website. Which he is clearly succeeding at. While I'm ABSOLUTELY NOT implying that nobody should speak ill of Yahtzee, at the same time, reading a thread that is 5 fucking pages of "He must not of played the game all the way through!! OMG! L0053r!!" is particularly tiresome, since that frankly isn't isn't his charter.

All I am trying to suggest is that, if you really want to take issue with the man and his product, whinging in a comment thread that ten percent of the people (or less) who view his content will actually see is not a particularly effective way to accomplish your objective. Instead, why don't you try to outdo him, because honestly, otherwise you're just shouting into a crowded room "HE'S WRONG", for all the good that will do you.

I love this game. I was hoping you would eventually review it. And just like I expected, you tear it a new one. Great job Yahtzee!

Indigo_Dingo:

NoMoreSanity:
I agree wholeheartedly on the cutscenes. Why the fuck do I have to click on another cutscene after finising the 3rd cutscene in a row now.

Because a fair few are completely optional to see at all and are just there for the puposes of furthering the history and characterisation within the game.

Not from what I saw. It got so frustrating I just stopped playing, and unless the cutscenes somehow get magically good I don't think I'm missing much.

pretty good except for that republican joke because it's not true, if he meant Dick Cheney and compasion then i might let that slide and why not say that instead of pointing of a huge group of people. Even a Democrats and Republicans comparison would be better. Oh well, still one of my favorite ZP's.

You can skip them all anyways.

solidstatemind:

Judithia:

Some one woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning :3

How about if you don't like what other people are saying you simply ignore it.
I think its resonable to be a tad confused why he is "reviewing" a game he clearly hasnt played for very long while making a whole bunch of points that are completly incorect.

OK, stipulated that I'm a little grumpy. But still, that doesn't change matters: Exactly what do you think all these complaints are accomplishing? Do you honestly think that Yahtzee is reading them and thinking to himself:

"Oh dear! I apparently have sinned against my constituency by not completing every game that I review!!" (Let us leave aside the aspect of the "if Yahtzee is frustrated by being an 'everyman' type player, I probably would be frustrated as well, since I'm not obsessed with all things Japan")

He's not. His job is to generate hits. Which he is clearly succeeding at. While I'm not saying that nobody should speak ill of Yahtzee, at the same time, reading a thread that is 5 fucking pages of "He must not of played the game all the way through!! OMG! L0053r!!" is particularly tiresome, since that frankly [u]isn't[/u] isn't his charter.

All I am trying to suggest is that, if you really want to take issue with the man and his product, whinging in a comment thread that ten percent of the people (or less) who view his content will actually see is not a particularly effective way to accomplish your objective.

My point is i think his review was slack among other things but honestly expresing and sharing my opinion is about as far as im going to take it.

He can and will continue to bash games good and bad i am not going to try and stop him.

He can generate as many hits as he wants i enjoy the magority of yahtzees reviews and even found this one funny it just kinda bugged me that it was more a review of the Demo then the actual game it it almost seems hes trying TO HARD to hate the game.

The game is amazing and not in a FANBOY WEEABOO kinda of way it was actually really good and its rare to see games try somthing new and do it well, its almost if Yahtzee is trolling... *click*

Judithia:

My point is i think his review was slack among other things but honestly expresing and sharing my opinion is about as far as im going to take it.

He can and will continue to bash games good and bad i am not going to try and stop him.

He can generate as many hits as he wants i enjoy the magority of yahtzees reviews and even found this one funny it just kinda bugged me that it was more a review of the Demo then the actual game it it almost seems hes trying TO HARD to hate the game.

The game is amazing and not in a FANBOY WEEABOO kinda of way it was actually really good and its rare to see games try somthing new and do it well, its almost if Yahtzee is trolling... *click*

Well, dang. I can't really find fault with that attitude. But you have to admit that the lahirs of righteous indignation on this thread really put you in the minority. I'll exempt you from my frustration, but I don't think that you can say that I'm being completely unreasonable in my irritation with the majority of the people QQing in this thread simply because they disagree with Mr. Croshaw.

You can actually save your progress in the battle by simpy pressing the start button, go to system, and choosing save. Granted, it's a bit of a hassle to those who are used to auto save. And the loading screens to get you back where you are long,but it still really helps.

solidstatemind:

Judithia:

My point is i think his review was slack among other things but honestly expresing and sharing my opinion is about as far as im going to take it.

He can and will continue to bash games good and bad i am not going to try and stop him.

He can generate as many hits as he wants i enjoy the magority of yahtzees reviews and even found this one funny it just kinda bugged me that it was more a review of the Demo then the actual game it it almost seems hes trying TO HARD to hate the game.

The game is amazing and not in a FANBOY WEEABOO kinda of way it was actually really good and its rare to see games try somthing new and do it well, its almost if Yahtzee is trolling... *click*

Well, dang. I can't really find fault with that attitude. But you have to admit that the lahirs of righteous indignation on this thread really put you in the minority. I'll exempt you from my frustration, but I don't think that you can say that I'm being completely unreasonable in my irritation with the majority of the people QQing in this thread simply because they disagree with Mr. Croshaw.

I understand but its the same in every thread, there are always the bunch that say OMG BEST ZP EVERY YOU SO FUNEH then the ones who say YOU SUCK SHITTY REVIEW.

Would be nice to get some other posts actually talking about it for once.

Its just a tad annoying that ALOT of people will probably see this review and that will turn them away from a very enjoyable game, sure people should have their own opinions about games but most of the time people tend to go by what other people or reviews say and not give it a chance.

Godhand for example is one of my favourite games but IGN gave it a hammering 3.5 which undoubtably turned a whole bunch of people away from it.

Oh god i should stop before i really start to rant... ;_;

fantastic

Great review as always.
I also would recommend you give X-Com UFO Defense a try.
I won't lie to you. There is a measure of micromanagement Hell for dealing with your base, research, manufacturing, and equipping soldiers, but it is still a great turn-based game.
Also, if you have a Windows smartphone or PDA, Pocket UFO is a 99.9% accurate remake of the game and it's freeware.

The only parts I really agreed with in this review are the characters, but even then... no, not really. It sounds like he didn't get past the first bit of the game as he never once talked about how it goes from a more realistic war-time game based around a Europe feeling continent in a time period somewhere between WW1 and WW2 to a sci-fi completely bat shit "what the fuck? knocking away rockets with a lance?" insane game.

If he had said that, then I'd agree with his view on the characters.

He didn't mention the incredibly bad sneaking mission that happens very, very early in the game that introduces some fairly annoying spotlight mechanics that put more strain on timing and less on strategy and tactics.

Instead he commented on the sole thing that makes the game difficulty ~ the enemies firing upon you when you move.

His view on the game is a little skewed. It's a mix of turn based strategy and real time action with some traditional RPG elements added in. The only thing Japanese about this game is that it was made in Japan. The characters don't look or feel like Japanese characters at all.

Besides, no mention of Jan? Passively talking about how the game has homosexuals doesn't really make up for the lack of Jan.

Funny video as always but a part of me wishes he hadn't reviewed this. It's a great game and quite a few people will miss out because of this review. I only hope that a similar amount of people who hadn't heard about the game got interested enough to check out an actual overview of the game. I won't go into the the problems with Mr. Croshaw's review as that has been done in this thread a few times over.

What I will do is ask why? I realize that he has been on a campaign to try genres that he normally avoids, this is something I applaud him for. Yet he already has a stated hatred for JRPGs (On that note I do agree that this is not what one thinks of when the acronym is used but its from Japan and is an RPG so people will call it that regardless) and Mr Croshaw obviously went into this game with the mentality that as a JRPG it's going to suck. RTS and Flight sims as far as I can tell were two things that he was indifferent on because he hadn't really dealt with them thus his foray into their worlds had meaning. To me it doesn't make sense to review a JRPG because everyone who has watched ZP for more than two episodes knows that he hates them and any review of one will reflect that.

Sorry after reading this through I guess it became a rant as I was typing. Wasn't my intention but at the same time I don't feel like changing it cause it's my opinion.

I still think VC is the bee's knees and if I ever get a PS3 i'll be happy yay yay and play it. Incidentally lemme know if it comes out of the PC.

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