Review: Velvet Assassin

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Review: Velvet Assassin

Take Hitman, remove most of the fun, add a few Nazis, and presto! You have Velvet Assassin.

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It's funny how tastes vary. I hated Hitman, I thought it was a piece of crap. But I am really liking Velvet Assassin. No, it is not a AAA title. But it's fun. It has all the best parts of Metal Gear Solid (the stealth) with a little bit of Tenchu (when Tenchu was good) and a cool premise behind it. Granted, I'm only half way through the game, but I am enjoying it very much.

One thing I've noticed too is playing on harder difficulty can make a mediocre game more fun. I ran through Dead Space on normal and thought it was just okay. But a friend played it on Hard and loved the game. I'm playing Velvet Assassin on Agent difficulty, so maybe that can account for some difference.

People said "Tenchu Z" was bad, too. But that still ranks as the most fun I've ever had in a stealth game...So, I'll be giving this a rent.

Kojiro ftt:
I ran through Dead Space on normal and thought it was just okay. But a friend played it on Hard and loved the game. I'm playing Velvet Assassin on Agent difficulty, so maybe that can account for some difference.

Well, in Dead Space's case, it could be that fact that you get less supplies on higher difficulties, which may have increased the tension, making the game evoke stronger feelings.

No! The mellow drone of your normal review voice has changed, now i cant just sit here and be hypnotized...

Anywho, so not really good news from anyone about this game so far. I still want to give it a shot but now im not really sure its worth the money. I hope i can remember my interest later on when its not going for full price. Although it seems to have the one flaw that turns me off most games, that feeling of being incomplete or half assed. Still the people above me seemed to have liked it so theres hope yet.

Meh, tastes are peculiar things indeed, like for example I thought the lightning and nature environments were absolutely magnificent and Violette herself one of the most beautiful game characters around, though I figure that depends heavily on whether a guy (or a, ee, woman) likes short hair or not.

Gameplay's bollocks tho. The determined reliance on crappily placed checkpoint was the final draw for myself. I'm a Hitman fan myself, so it's no surprise since I went in expecting a bit Hitmannish experience due to seeing Violette in a nazi suit in a load screen, but instead got rigid linear corridors and overall a boring experience. Couldn't really recommend it to anybody.

Also on a side note - dead space is only playable on hard in which is mutates from mediocre shooter into an actually compelling one.

Jiki:
Meh, tastes are peculiar things indeed, like for example I thought the lightning and nature environments were absolutely magnificent and Violette herself one of the most beautiful game characters around, though I figure that depends heavily on whether a guy (or a, ee, woman) likes short hair or not.

Gameplay's bollocks tho. The determined reliance on crappily placed checkpoint was the final draw for myself. I'm a Hitman fan myself, so it's no surprise since I went in expecting a bit Hitmannish experience due to seeing Violette in a nazi suit in a load screen, but instead got rigid linear corridors and overall a boring experience. Couldn't really recommend it to anybody.

Also on a side note - dead space is only playable on hard in which is mutates from mediocre shooter into an actually compelling one.

Wow, you really thought Violette was pretty? From the neck down, sure, she's totally yowza, but man, I just thought they did horrible things to her face. Really poor skin tone, for example. Well, I thought so, anyway - tastes do vary.

Interesting point about upping the difficulty level, though. Not sure it would save this particular game, but it's something to consider.

Susan Arendt:
Wow, you really thought Violette was pretty? From the neck down, sure, she's totally yowza, but man, I just thought they did horrible things to her face. Really poor skin tone, for example. Well, I thought so, anyway - tastes do vary.

Well, she looked gorgeous in my version. :> Googled her just in case (since I'm the paranoid type who confronts own memory whenever possible) and she didn't look nearly as pretty as she did in the game (with my graphics settings :P). The cloths added to the effect though; the default cloths, I mean. Nazi suit didn't evoke any emotions and nightgown was on the opposite, that is - quite unlikeable.

Yay! Susan's voice! Wait... she doesn't sound pleased... why? Who made her angry? ...what? Replay Studios? I'm onto you, bastards!

Aww man, I saw this on steam yesterday and was getting myself worked up to play a decent sneaker... the concept was so good, boohoo...
Ah well a mediocre sneaker it is then.

Jiki:

Susan Arendt:
Wow, you really thought Violette was pretty? From the neck down, sure, she's totally yowza, but man, I just thought they did horrible things to her face. Really poor skin tone, for example. Well, I thought so, anyway - tastes do vary.

Well, she looked gorgeous in my version. :> Googled her just in case (since I'm the paranoid type who confronts own memory whenever possible) and she didn't look nearly as pretty as she did in the game (with my graphics settings :P). The cloths added to the effect though; the default cloths, I mean. Nazi suit didn't evoke any emotions and nightgown was on the opposite, that is - quite unlikeable.

Which version are you playing? I was on the 360 (which I utterly neglected to indicate in the review -- shall fix that right now).

And i told my friend he should buy this woops

I have to say, I liked your review alot. I only wish I had saw this before I dished out the money to rent the game. To me though, the game was more Splinter Cell then Hitman.

I really liked the review you gave, though it has now pushed me away from trying the game. At least from the sounds of things I won't be missing too much. It's a shame though, the game looked like it has so much potential (I'm with you on the interchangeable shoulder aiming). Lets hope that the better ideas this game has are taken and combined with others to make a truly fantastic stealth game.

if only i had watched/read this review before spending 40 euro on this game, the game feels kinda clumsy and some of the guards look like duke nukem in all his squareness (i cant believe fire fox's dictionary allowed me to use the word squareness) not that i am a graphic nazi but i expect better graphic from a 40 euro game, if only they have used as much time designing the nazis and the environments as they did on Violette's perfect round ass and her latex costumes.

when do developers realize that horrible games will be forgiven for some ass shots (x blades, mass effect and every jrpg)

mass effect and every jrpg

uh......

antipunt:

mass effect and every jrpg

uh......

what is it that confused you?

i didn't enjoy mass effect and before i bought it all i have heard about was that it had amazing immersion, which i never experienced cause i never really cared about the npcs enough to listen to their life story like i do in other rpgs, and a sex scene at the end, mostly the sex thing cause that seemed to be the major topic and when i finally got to it it was nothing but 1½ sec of animated butt.
and the jrpg thing cause other than weird story's and even weirder hair the female (male?) and their very exposed body parts seems to be the only reason to buy the games.

neuromasser:
Yay! Susan's voice! Wait... she doesn't sound pleased... why? Who made her angry? ...what? Replay Studios? I'm onto you, bastards!

Yay i c another holocaust coming up replay studios, say your prayers.

but like the game idea of switching shoulders to aim with and genuine German for once.

Ruh-roh, SUsan's not happy! You know what'll cheer you up? Do a review of Uwe Boll's game. I dare you! I triple-dog-dare you!

Im glad im not the only ones that couldn't place tose kitty mines.

I just wanted to hold them in my arms.

Cheesy russians can eat banana instead!

Nice review I liked it a lot, you obviously had some or a few of the same ideas I did when I played the game. Like you said, it really isn't a bad game but with its possible potential it really fell short. I like the little night gown :P

Susan Arendt:
Which version are you playing? I was on the 360 (which I utterly neglected to indicate in the review -- shall fix that right now).

Under "version" I meant more like "graphics settings", but in the pursuit of clearness - the PC version (also, I think it should be noted that the game offers no demo for the PC version which only encourages piracy instead of ... I don't really know what they're trying to do, hide the game's failures?). By the way, I think your version is quite clear to anybody who actually watched the video. :P Still, also for a need of clearness, I figure the addition does no harm, only the opposite.

On a another side note (this closer to the subject though) - I liked how you stayed clear of the "real life vs fiction" controversy. One site actually didn't want to review the game just because it twists real life in such a way and so doesn't show enough respect to the actual character (I figure it's got something to do with morals and stuff, but since I don't really believe in these false abstractions, I find such statements naive). Me, I think the developer's are just quite stupid. I've long since lost hope in ever finding out why people want their games to be so reminiscent of realism, but I figure that's somehow connected to this case as well and also one of the reasons they chose a real life figure as a premise. I personally think a fictional one would have worked better for at least one big reason - real life is often boring and if not boring, at least nothing to make a game out, especially the life of a real spy (couldn't really imagine a game based on John Le Carré), so in order to make it playable one has to create their own story, but through creating their own story they loses the need for the real life character since this isn't a story about the specific person anymore, but about something completely different, as is the case with Velvet Assassin. So using Violette is nothing but a publicity stunt, in this case sadly a very naive one.

You all laughed at the pattern. WELL WHO'S LAUGHING NOW? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

In case you were wondering, its me.

Jiki:

Under "version" I meant more like "graphics settings", but in the pursuit of clearness - the PC version (also, I think it should be noted that the game offers no demo for the PC version which only encourages piracy instead of ... I don't really know what they're trying to do, hide the game's failures?). By the way, I think your version is quite clear to anybody who actually watched the video. :P Still, also for a need of clearness, I figure the addition does no harm, only the opposite.

While it's always important to note which platform you played a game on, it's even more important to note since the release of Force Unleashed, which was incredibly buggy on the PS3, but not on the 360. Our review (which was of the PS3 version, but originally failed to note that) mentioned the bugs, which left folks who'd played the 360 version scratching their heads in confusion.

neuromasser:
Yay! Susan's voice! Wait... she doesn't sound pleased... why? Who made her angry? ...what? Replay Studios? I'm onto you, bastards!

Good to see i'm not the only one who watches these to hear Susan's soothing voice :)

As always, a nice review, and thanks for reminding me why i was avoiding this game...

Oh you guys, but I do have to agree I like her voice too. Also, Susuan what do you as a reviewer do with games after you reviewed them? Give them away? Sell? Or just leave them be?

Huh, with that title and premise, I was expecting a French spy.

Susan Arendt:

Wow, you really thought Violette was pretty? From the neck down, sure, she's totally yowza, but man, I just thought they did horrible things to her face. Really poor skin tone, for example. Well, I thought so, anyway - tastes do vary.

You should try to dig up some of the early dev shots of the game, before they decided to sex her up.
like the one in this review.

http://www.games32.com/Velvet-Assassin-(PC)-News/p2002_articleid/3493

I've been half and half about this game. It looks like a really interesting and unique premise but I've only heard bad things since it came out. I quickly googled some pictures of Violet and I have to agree with your poor skin tone assessment.

Hmm... Well I still feel obliged to give it a try so I'll probably rent it after I've finished my Uni exams (Which I should be revising for now). Thanks for the input and your review.

"Das Zeug schmeckt wie die Socken vom Sturmführer"

mahahahaha, that's quite good for an american production

Moriarty:
"Das Zeug schmeckt wie die Socken vom Sturmführer"

mahahahaha, that's quite good for an american production

Velvet Assassin was actually made by Replay Studios, based in Hamburg, Germany. So I guess that explains the German dialogue.

Novacain4862:
Oh you guys, but I do have to agree I like her voice too. Also, Susuan what do you as a reviewer do with games after you reviewed them? Give them away? Sell? Or just leave them be?

I use the boxes to build a fort.

I really didn't think the game was as bad as the review says it is. It's definately not a great game; but I fail to find anything I particularly disliked about it, except the last bit of the last level. The ending was undeniably bad, but the gameplay itself held up.

Sneaking around the germans gets easier once you learn how they behave. If you sit still after alerting them, they will almost certainly find you, but if you stay mobile you can almost always avoid them. I quite liked morphine mode too; I thought it was well executed, and a nice touch. The visual effects were pretty cool, to me.

Also, I thought Violette was pretty good looking - considering how most women in games look, I was quite pleased to find that she wasn't just a pair of boobs with legs. A believable body shape gets a thumbs-up from me. The only thing I thought about her face was that it looked really young.

So, its not bad - it doesn't do anything too wrong. But I'll certainly agree that it could have been better.

Edit: Also, I was disturbed to find that my hairstyle is often eerily similar to Violette's, where it all sticks out on one side. I don't do it on purpose, I swear.

I paid £28 for this at release so under the RRP of most game, I knew it was going to be a bit average anyway but I must say I was pleasantly surprised and I think that it isn't as unforgiving as made out, would you sit next to an open door even if your where supposedly hidden?

Sometimes the soldiers do suddenly turn as you are going in for the kill but I can't say there have been lots of times I have thought the AI was out of order for spotting me.

Either way the German voices are good and the Violette's voice actor is good up until she pronounces route as rowet at which point I started losing my trust in the game.

I don't mind collecting stuff in games and didn't mind the hidden items to get XP upgrades and even the special puzzle based items you can find like the wind and the statue. At least it isn't as horrible as the flag collection in Assassins Creed which I refused to collect for the G's.

I think shoulder switching was in Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory, or in Double Agent, don't know which it was.

Good dancing near and around the whole nazi thing without coming off as the racist we all want to be deep down inside.
Incidentally my zero punctuation tshirt agrees. And I'm tremulating as I say this.

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