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Zero Punctuation: Velvet Assassin

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Creator of Zero Punctuation
Posts: 255
Joined: 8 Aug 2007

Velvet Assassin

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Velvet Assassin.

Watch Video

Paperboy
Posts: 14
Joined: 21 Jul 2008

Ah the inevitablility. We all saw the horificity of this thing coming :)

Paperboy
Posts: 15
Joined: 11 May 2008

Great review, not his best but still funny! The opening joke was a bit gross though.

Muckraker
Posts: 266
Joined: 6 Dec 2008

What is this community service?
*ROFL*
That was the best ending yet...

Anonymous Source
Posts: 10
Joined: 27 Feb 2008

that was a funny ending

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 999
Joined: 19 Feb 2009

valkyria chronicles is nothing to be compared with velvet assassin.

Paperboy
Posts: 11
Joined: 22 Mar 2009

Its seems like there are alot more nazi killing games lately.
Nice review.

Muckraker
Posts: 243
Joined: 27 Nov 2008

The very fact that this was developed by South peak was a terrible indication.
This was getting bad scores from even the most positive of reviewers, so I could tell hilarity was coming when the most pessimistic of them all had a stab and the crappy game.

Yahtzee forever

Copy Clerk
Posts: 90
Joined: 29 Nov 2007

"What is this, community service?" That might well be one of the best last lines ever. Another good one, Yahtzee!

Paperboy
Posts: 26
Joined: 16 Aug 2008

The good points were at the end.

Beat Writer
Posts: 148
Joined: 19 May 2009

Nice review, didn't like it as much as Valkyria C. though.

"Community service" had me.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1819
Joined: 8 Oct 2008

This game sucks. Great video though.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 915
Joined: 12 Feb 2009

Ending was hilarious. Beginning was f'ed up. Ripping off jewish baby faces and jerking off with them? WTF is wrong with you Scrabble! Er...Yahtzee!

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1045
Joined: 31 Oct 2008

That was bloody hilarious!

Much better than the other game begining with V

Muckraker
Posts: 252
Joined: 4 Feb 2009

"what is this community service?" that made me laugh,alot.

Anonymous Source
Posts: 5
Joined: 29 Aug 2007

The final comment: possibly the most I've laughed at ZP in quite a few episodes. I was wondering that myself, he just puts it so succinctly.

Anonymous Source
Posts: 5
Joined: 29 Apr 2009

No mention of the horrific corruption of the original source, who's family would not permit her name to be used, when it was going to be so blatantly sexualised?

"Violette Szabo, you see, was captured by the Germans after just over a year of active duty as a Special Operations Executive. During her incarceration, she was repeatedly beaten, starved and sexually abused. Ultimately, she was executed, aged just 23." -

Games like this are part of why people won't respect the game industry as an art form, I would have thought Yahtzee would mention that. (and be more offended)

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1115
Joined: 8 Feb 2009

The fact that Yahtzee hated her hair makes me feel very self conscious about my own hair; it was disturbed to find the other day that my hair does exactly the same thing (where it all sweeps off to the one side). It don't do it on purpose, I swear.

Then again, Yahtzee hates everything, so perhaps I should pay it no heed.

ON TOPIC, I think I must be one of the only people that didn't hate this game...

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 850
Joined: 23 Jan 2009

Yeah Community Service all the way! Now all we need is for the Italians to make a crappy WW2 game and we're off

Copy Clerk
Posts: 61
Joined: 12 Dec 2007

I can only imagine the German version is about you fighting androids that just happen to have vulnerable necks and a love of generic fascism.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2314
Joined: 10 Oct 2008

I have not laughed at a Zero Punctuation episode in a long time, but the end of this one got me. "What is this, community service?"

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1418
Joined: 12 Sep 2008

A damn good review though the Community Service part made me laugh pretty damn hard. Though the German government coming over to burn your house down if you mentioned the Nazis was pretty damn hysterical as well.

Muckraker
Posts: 253
Joined: 15 Dec 2008

Actually I played this game and thought it was alright but he brings out a few good points about the flaws in the gameplay and the outfits

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1850
Joined: 13 Jan 2009

"Why are the countries that were in the Axis forces making WW2 games? What is this community service?" Lol. This is one of the best episodes I have seen in a while.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2356
Joined: 5 May 2008

I lol'd

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1413
Joined: 30 Oct 2008

I genuinely laughed out loud at the end joke about the "community service". When he was saying the Splinter Cell crossed with... etc. it sounded good - or at least like it should have been. Anyway, I'll look forward to next weeks review.

Copy Clerk
Posts: 94
Joined: 4 Jul 2008

taking their childerns face off and wanking with it!!!
so funny

Paperboy
Posts: 11
Joined: 2 Apr 2008

Great video again.
@Jay Cee: most reviewers are giving this 7/10 or more.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 712
Joined: 13 Mar 2008

good ole community service...also this one does look gritty :D

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1206
Joined: 6 Oct 2008

Axis powers making World War 2 games...next thing you know, an Italian gaming company will make a game called "3D Punch Hitler In The Face".

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