Zero Punctuation: Velvet Assassin

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I'm buying you a beer next time i'm in Brisbane. whether you're there to enjoy it or not...

p.s. i hope you're there to enjoy it...

This was one of those vids where the text carried the day for me. From the German translation of "Everybody can see my bum" to "Still, have to admire the infrastructure" to the "are you our new mommy?" to the outre.

solidstatemind:
This was one of those vids where the text carried the day for me. From the German translation of "Everybody can see my bum" to "Still, have to admire the infrastructure" to the "are you our new mommy?" to the outre.

Don't forget "I'm going to investingate that fart".

Classic review though.

As my friend Robot Torg said, "The game is too linear and nothing special. That's two reasons why it sucks". In my opinion, if you can find at least 5 solid reasons why a game sucks its not even worth renting or downloading the demo.

Hehehe...community service.
BTW, how much german does Yahtzee really know?

I can't see the video...The screen is just black...

a zillion.

Velvet assassin is such a dodgy name..

Wonder if Killing Floor is gonna get a review, great game for what it is but i wonder.

Pallindromemordnillap:
I can't see the video...The screen is just black...

I had this the other day, i had to find a different website to get it to work.

wait, the game was by Germans? WTF, I thought the world hitler there would get you shotgunned.

good review, the game looks ok but like you said it just dosint work as a stelth game

good review, the game looks ok but like you said it just dosint work as a stelth game

chase211:
Its pretty clear to me at this point that ZP is reviewing the unimportant and forgetable games to please his fanbase that bitches so much when he bashes a mainstream title in an effort to be able to safely burn to death a title no one gives a flying shit about without pissing off fans. What he seems to fail to realize is that it is his very controversial nature that makes him worth watching. I would be willing to bet his review of Super Smash Bros had more views than any other video...and I would also bet his video directly after that got more views as a result.

Or maybe it's because he's trying to play different games to the normal mainstream FPS games that he normally does: he mentioned it on his blog and in a recent video, and I think it's a good thing. And maybe he reviewed this because he likes stealth games (see Thief), and was generally interested in playing it?

wohoo saved money again which means .... EVERYONE SAY IT WITH ME !!! MORE BEER cause more beer is what we all want , anyway the part about the stealth was spot on , the baby's face was sic but the have a tiger was a hoot plus the end community service ?

Ach nein, mein Bum! D:

Ace01:
wait, the game was by Germans? WTF, I thought the world hitler there would get you shotgunned.

No, no it doesn't. Depp.

Awesome. Ive been a big fan for a while now and the gift keeps on giving :)

I'm embarrassed by my own country that they handled world war 2 in such a mainstream (meaning:american) way.

So, will he finally review killing floor?This game is great!

Another great vid from the artsy game Nazi, Yahtzee :D.

I like the "What is this community service" joke that was the only thing I liked about this video

CapitalDave:
No mention of the horrific corruption of the original source, who's family would not permit her name to be used, when it was going to be so blatantly sexualised?

"Violette Szabo, you see, was captured by the Germans after just over a year of active duty as a Special Operations Executive. During her incarceration, she was repeatedly beaten, starved and sexually abused. Ultimately, she was executed, aged just 23." -

Games like this are part of why people won't respect the game industry as an art form, I would have thought Yahtzee would mention that. (and be more offended)

Just like the movies always do then? No the acceptance of games does not mean all titles should or need to be 100% accurate or even attempt to be. Unrealistic portrayal of real life events will exist in any and every medium its just kind of how things are. It is also not a barrier to giving a understanding of what happened either, real life does not work like any game or movie or book so liberties pretty much have to be taken.

I am not saying the work in this game, not played it and by the sounds of the reviews I feel no need too. However the fact it is not what really happened does not make it good or bad its self.

I believe that in light of his recent reviews, he is regaining his comical spark. This was the only one that has truly made me laugh out loud for quite some time. Well done Yahtzee.

Zero Punctuation at its best

I liked the Fahrenheit 451 reference about the government burning people's houses down.

Damn, the goverment set my house on fire, thats the 3rd time this week.

Well, I actually learned quite a few things about the game, thus making this the first "review" of his that I've enjoyed watching in a long time. Morphine goes away after one kill? REALLY? REALLY?

yeah looks a bit pants gameplay but at least its a slightly original game. akin to what he said, playing a game made by germans is bound to be more interesting than made by americans.

Hang on... did he actually like the thing, or not?

Generally, I hold the opinion that if Yahtzee doesn't state his position on a game, it falls into the default 'meh' category. One thing is for certain though, it seems like he's getting bored with the world war two stuff; but then, he's been saying that for a long time.

It was an interesting and informative review, and it's definitely not the sort of game I'd like to play.

I insist if you want to review a bad awful game. You should review STORMRISE
Great review

lol...axis-developing WW2 games

I think most people would agree, that the line "What is this, community service?" is one of the best lines ever mentioned...

The review was great, as always. In fact, it's going up there with the classics.

That aside, I'm starting to believe that South Peak are a bit too anxious to succeed in the industry. They constantly rip off other titles, which isn't that bad on its own, but their games end up competent enough to play, but not to buy. Two Worlds wasn't horrible or anything, but it couldn't compare to Oblivion and anybody who wasn't RPG-hungry wouldn't bother. X-Blades was like Heavenly Sword only shittier (and HS was already pretty shitty) and this is a mesh of all the big boys in the stealth genre, only without any attempt for something more than basic functionality.

A little effort to add some depth in the gameplay won't hurt, boys!

True say; when ya gotta make something *ahem* 'historical* ya gotta add some "fan service", else not many people would be attracted to it. Like X-Blades; blatant back-side on the front. Nice, yes. Wholesome? Hmm...

So, I think Yahtzee concluded it is a bit like Splinter cell but has the same fundamental flaws as Assassin's creed... sooo... if you liked Splinter Cell and Assassin's Creed then this game is a rent?

But I get it, Yahtzee is mostly for lols, though the key to great humour is basing it on and underlying truth.

Jay Cee:
The very fact that this was developed by South peak was a terrible indication.
This was getting bad scores from even the most positive of reviewers, so I could tell hilarity was coming when the most pessimistic of them all had a stab and the crappy game.

Yahtzee forever

Nice try but it wasn't developed by South Peak.

Anyway, the german government has nothing against people mentioning Nazi. In fact it's the complete opposite. The only thing the german government is careful with is the use of the Swastika. They only allowed to be used in documentary or stuff that is against nazi bullshit, like American History X. They usually censor/change the emblem if it's featured in videogames.

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