Zero Punctuation: Velvet Assassin

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Funny stuff. Great ending re: Community Service.

Sounds like the Morphine feature is yet another in a long line of "WTF?" gameplay mechanics.

Old Ben has returned! This smells of victory, I tell ya!
Funny and cruel AND politically uncorrect at the same time. What's not to love?

I promised myself I wouldn't post here, because of the 140 posts before me. I didn't read them, I just figured they'd all be "w00t first!" "w00t second!" "w00t 140th!" ya know

Then I convinced myself that they'd all be banned and posted anyway.

piers789:
I genuinely laughed out loud at the end joke about the "community service".

Ahh I was just going to say that! I laughed out loud and scared my dog.

I LOVE that last crack at the end
"All the World War 2 games are being developed by the axis forces, what is this? Community service?"
great review, though the humor is starting to slow down again, and its back to a pretty good review, but with a few really good jokes (like the one mentioned above)

Wounded Melody:

piers789:
I genuinely laughed out loud at the end joke about the "community service".

Ahh I was just going to say that! I laughed out loud and scared my dog.

Nice, I had a similar effect on my cat, poor thing jumped a foot in the air (maybe a slight exaggeration but you get the idea). It was very, very funny - both the joke and the cat.

From now on, thou shalt be known as Yahtzee the Artsy Nazi!

This game sounds like NOLF...

Moriarty:

Vlane:
As somebody from austria I have to say that the last joke was almost too offensive. Awesome but still....

bawuh? why?

im german and i laughed =)

It was a joke. It was funny as hell. I generally laugh about stuff like that.

The community service joke had me seriously laughing out loud. Excellent review, errr... criticism. :p

Highlight of my week to watch these!

but yahtzee... i thought Hitler was right?

and wats with all the people on prohibation

Right, thats it, Yahtzees lost all touch with the notion of quality. He liked this game more than Valkyria Chronicles

PG:
Great video again.
@Jay Cee: most reviewers are giving this 7/10 or more.

Noooooo they are not.

Lol everyone is now reviewing this game, I remembered when I reviewed it about a few weeks ago and only got 4 replies xD. Well like I said to Susuan I agree with everything you said. Though I did like the morphine mode, I found it a bit tacky.

lol was funny, but its starting to feel like the escapist are reviewing the same game to many times, watching a review, an unskipable and a zp on the same game is getting a bit much, hate to say it but maybe zp should start reviewing old games.

Ending was good. Also, apparently Yahtzee saw the Cracked article about Hitler only having one ball.

I loved the flamethrower and the island sinking bit.

Dragonblade146:
What is this community service?
*ROFL*
That was the best ending yet...

I completely cracked up at this XD.

Epic. Just epic.

To everyone who didn't figure it out: Yahtzee didn't HATE the game, he just didn't like it. Which means it's perfectly playable for everyone with lower standards (ie. 99.9% of the world's population).

gillrobin:
but yahtzee... i thought Hitler was right?

and wats with all the people on prohibation

1. In the same video, at the end credits, he wrote "definitely doesn't think Hitler was right".

2. If you post before watching, you get put on probation. Check the times between the OP and their posts.

That community service line was great. But you are right, realism did go down the drain.

Valkyria chronicles was not really a WW2 game.

Lets just say i enjoyed this "review" or rather rant a lot more then your last.

Hmm... a truly odd game, to be sure.

Good work, Yahtzee.

Vlane:

Moriarty:

Vlane:
As somebody from austria I have to say that the last joke was almost too offensive. Awesome but still....

bawuh? why?

im german and i laughed =)

It was a joke. It was funny as hell. I generally laugh about stuff like that.

i kinda thought so, because of your age. it's just too funny to give foreigners that "OMG HITLER"-stare when they mention nazis :D

shifty_rob:
Ending was good. Also, apparently Yahtzee saw the Cracked article about Hitler only having one ball.

wtf? cracked article? if it's the same article i remember, thats german comedy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChStYkcvD68 (warning:german language! :! (ignore the title of that vid))

"what is this community service?" HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!! BWAAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! fucking brilant!!! BEST review so far!

'hyperbolillionth'

-lol.

Undeadpope:
"what is this community service?" that made me laugh,alot.

hahaha yeah I laughed out so loudly it was embarrassing for a moment x)

Dragonblade146:
What is this community service?
*ROFL*
That was the best ending yet...

Agreed

Trying not to read to much (to not spoil the review), but is anyone else having problems watching the video. After the Team Fortress 2 ad pops up and plays it freezes of the actual video.

It's been said before, and I'll say it again. The "community service" joke had me in stitches. It is really weird that it was made in germany though. Not just for the reason of Germany's extreme anti-nazi representation policy, but because the entire game is about slitting the throats of thier countrymen.

Shibito091192:
'hyperbolillionth'

-lol.

That needs to be made a real word.

The Great JT:
Axis powers making World War 2 games...next thing you know, an Italian gaming company will make a game called "3D Punch Hitler In The Face".

It does strike me as weird that the Axis power is making WW2 video games. The US I can see as Yahtzee said in an earlier review US WW2 video games are basically the US trying to relive the one war in living memory where the US had a clear evil foe that really mattered. But the Axis powers doing these games? That is totally Bizarro world unless they are made with the US buying public in mind.

Of course given the quality of the games (Velvet Assassin is not getting good reviews from what I have seen) that assumes there was a mind for something to be in.

I am surprised given how much Yahtzee likes stealth games he didn't talk more about the broken stealth mechanic I am reading about in other reviews ie game says you are successively hiding but then a soldier comes around the corner and promptly shoots you.

Haha, nice theory on the ironic locations of the publishing companies doing these games...probably the closest they'll ever get to facing down their guilt and formally apologizing for it.

I liked the exaggeration of all the game's blunders...the instant death with detection, the highly circumstancial get-out-of-jail-free-card mindfuckery, and the mixed messages on morality.

Great review. On the other hand, now I've got the phrase "Yahtzee the Game Nazi" stuck in my head, thanks to that last bit.

shifty_rob:
Ending was good. Also, apparently Yahtzee saw the Cracked article about Hitler only having one ball.

Nope, he's just spent some time in an English schoolyard

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitler_Has_Only_Got_One_Ball

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