Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever

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I never thought I'd be posting in one of these threads, but...

Gratz to Yahtzee.

Very unexpected choice of game, and it was a funny "review". I liked it.

wait wait wait...
the game HAS been releaced??

Joke review. Expected/10

It was amusing, though.

TheTemby:
wait wait wait...
the game HAS been releaced??

Did you even watch the movie... He said it wasn't at the end.

Also, yellow submarine. Frickin' A.

I know very little about the Duke Nukem series, so for the first few minutes I wasn't sure how serious Yahtzee was being =P

we should all let it die. just go to the X-Box Arcade and buy Duke Nukem 3D and play that instead of wasting time that could be used for better things... like cleaning gutters or licking electrical sockets (fun times).

Duke Nukem Forever = fail on toast.

...Well, that was unexpected.

Oookay this review had an amazing effect on me in that I went and read the 10 pages of comments before even considering posting and picked up some interesting things:

Sparrow Tag:
Yeah, good one Yahtzee. Kicking a dead horse when it's down.

Heres an idea. Make a decent joke and I might actually LAUGH. What happened to the days when you used to be funny?

Awww baby sad because he got his chain yanked by Mr Croshaw? Obviously a case of the fanboy here.

Typhron:
OH NO MAN U JUST MAD THAT THE GAME HAD THAT BROWN N' GREY GRAPHIC SHIT IT WAS A FUKKIN MASTERPEICE JUST LIKE HALOOO SKRUB

What the fuck does this even MEAN? Somebody please explain!

I was totally taken in, even though I wasn't on the edge of my seat over the release. The thing was the range of gameplay types he mentioned made me think- well if it can do that of course Yahtzee will like it. Then as more stuff started piling up I started getting confused until the end.
Honestly people who say that Yahtzee has lost his touch don't understand how his kind of humour works. I think it's a symptom of the generation where everyone wants it all new and once it isn't cutting edge anymore they move on. As the man himself more or less said during the GoW 2 review sometimes mainstream stuff is popular because it's good (this from and avowedly non-mainstream person)

If DNF ever came into existence and was on the PC (I don't play on microwave, never got the right feel for the controls) it would have to jump some fucking hurdles to live up to the vision Yahtzee has created. Why doesn't someone go and borrow the Doom 3 code and all us ZP fans can contribute to creating it as it should be?

He should of done this for April fools, still good though keep up the good work.

wolfshrimp:
*Snipped for high levels of douche*

Fanboy of Duke Nukem? Good lord, I'm a fan of one game and one game only. And it ain't Duke Nukem. I've never even played it.

And just because I insulted something that your a fanboy of, don't take it out on me. It simple leads to a flamewar, as is with all you Yahtzee fanboys.

He broke his own fast speaking record there. An especially good one this week

Bah! The video won't load. This happened to me a few days ago to.

should have saved this review for 01/04/10
Don't worry Duke, I still believe in you [sniff] :(

Meh.

OK, this review made me sign up to Escapist just so I can tell everyone that I got a major brain embolism after this was put up. Seriously, I though it came out. But then, aha, nice one, Yahtzee. Very funny review.

Last!

you know for the pure novelty of it all I'll actually look forward to duke nukem forever's release. If it does come out I will also laugh my ass off not only because the irony but the amount of people being let down no matter how GOD LIKE it is...

PS: Duke Nukem Forever has been released he just got some green power armor.

I couldn't play DNF on my computer. It exploded from an overload of awesomeness. [/sarcasm]

Seriously, as was said before by others, when I saw that this week's ep was about D(ead) N(ow) F(orget it), I expected a retrospective on the debacle, coupled with ripping the ghost of 3DRealms a new ectoplasmic anal orifice. What we got was so much better: the stealth burn. It sneaks up on you, but it incinerates just as much.

wolfshrimp:

Honestly people who say that Yahtzee has lost his touch don't understand how his kind of humour works.

Yeah, his humor is so sophisticated us stupid people just can't wrap our tiny minds around it. That's what it is.

Or.... hmmm... maybe I just didn't find this review that funny? It was one 5 minute long joke. It made me go "heh" at the thought of reviewing a game that'll never get released. But after a few minutes of staring blankily at the rest of his rant, I started to think, "yeah yeah, I get it."

haha, I am not up to date with the video game world at all (pretty much watching ZP and Unskippable, adverts and overhearing conversations is how I piece together whats going on), so it took a minute before I realized this was a 'hoax/prank/fake review'.

I had heard that it was taking them a scandalous amount of time to release it and I suspected when it would finally come out it probably would be a generic shooter. But saying that his preconceptions were smashed allowed me to suspend my disbelief until it came to baking a cake on Mars.

From then on I wasn't sure whether to believe this was some amazing vision of a game or whether Yahtzee had completely lost his mind. To be honest half way through I just assumed he had gone completely mad and that within the year he'd be locked up in some asylum. But a 'clever' fake review, as I didn't know it wasn't released yet I didn't consider that option until later on in the video.

All I can say is that I am relieved; the paradox of the new Duke Nukem being the best game of all time has NOT occurred and more importantly, Yahtzee is NOT insane.

This may be the best review he ever made.

All one can really say is "Owtch."

I really have to say that this is your best video so far. I didn't expect something like this.

errrrrr for all thos how dont know it was fake he said so in the credits

You know if this game actually does come out this would be the first game he'd have to review twice.

... Well. That blew my mind.

I actually found myself getting excited about the game, thinking "I'll definitely get this for my new gaming PC!" until a few alarms began sounding in my mind, and I realized it was a big joke. I really ought to pay more attention to goings-on in the real world.

AWWW man i cant wait for people to think that its a real review, everyone will think "man noone can be that thick" and then someone will go ahead and prove them wrong.

Oh how I love reviews from alternate bizzaro realities.

Wow. Wow to end ALL wows.

3D realms is a company that makes even Blizzard look on the ball when it comes to deadlines and updates.

That was fucking brilliant! I haven't laughed out loud at a Yahtzee review in a while, but this had me doing it long and loudly. Yahzee must have been having a good week or somthing.
Also I confess to having been confused for about a minute when he first started. Then he started some satiracle comments in and I was like "aaah, I see what you did there".

14 DVD's? Most likely will be 50 CD's, seeing as that was the medium back in the day when the "project" was begun.
And I may never overestimate the ability to wiggle one's ears to save yourself from a villainous trap.

Hah! it's funny that people seriously think this game is being produced//released.

Legen...

(wait for it)

...dary!

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