Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever

 Pages PREV 1 . . . 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 . . . 25 NEXT
 

I agree, lets forget about this game forever.

BRILLIANT!

I knew right off the bat Yahtzee was going to have something sarcastic to say, seeing the current, and very retarded, events that is going on with 3dRealms.

Also those that took it seriously/thought it was actually out might as well have the IQ of 3dRealms themselves.

I've watched this review about ten times and still find it fun to watch.

maximara:

Sadly given the way the gaming community is I doubt it. The one thing I don't understand about Duke Nukem Forever is why it was allowed to go along for over a decade. you would have think somebody on the money end of this would have said 'ok this isn't working' and puled the flipping plug.

I would have at least asked to see what they have done every four months or so and probably given them a one year deadline around the middle of the second year if I was not seeing progress.

So dum didn't realise he was taking the piss until the very end :( , its still awesome tho!!!

Clever man. Clever, clever, clever. And if I if I ever g into the gaming industry, I will work my ASS off to make a game that incorporates everything mentioned here.

4fromK:

Bellvedere:

Cut open a cynic and you'll find a wounded optimist.

That shit is deep, man. Is it yours, or are you quoting?

Actually, that phrase isn't Bellvedere's; it's my mother's. But neither she nor I got credit for it.

Damn those embedded quote tags, eh?

SYSTEM-J:

-bladerunner-:
*sigh* He can't comment on gameplay because the game IS NOT OUT and may never be, he was only talking about how the game should be when it is released due to the time it is taking to 'develop' it (or did you not understand the extremely radical change in Yahtzee's reviewing style ie. he had nothing bad to say about the game).

Read up on the subject before making unfounded complaints about it.

I was being ironic...

Yeah sorry about that :(

Just as a fan's expectations about a game inevitably prove greater than the reality, Yahtzee's tongue-in-cheek Duke Nukem Forever review proved greater than a review about an actual released game.

Imagine if you could go back in time and get hired by 3D Realms to work on Duke Nukem Forever? I could putz around inventing and reinventing a game for 10 years without having to worry about ever releasing because I know it's not meant to be. Waxing their game development mental love-muscle for 10 years free of obligation is the ultimate game developer dream scenario.

Actually, such a waxing would probably produce more results then trying to make Duke Nukem work in a post 9/11 world. I'd end up usurping massive amounts of Duke Nukem Forever development money to make a game that actually had a chance instead. The time-space continuum would break under the displaced pressure of World of Warcraft largely proving untenable because the game I created by screwing around on Duke Nukem Forever's dime turned out to be 10 times better.

No, it didn't. Stop saying it did. This isn't funny, you morons. I want to hear Yahtzee talk about games he either loves or hates, not games that were never released. Yeah, we get it, the game was never released and expectations were built up. "Duke Nukem For Never" jokes were mildly funny ten years ago. Pointing out the irony in the title was funny for about five minutes in the 90's.
This is a test. Yahtzee knows this is shit, he's checking if he needs to bust his ass coming up with funny shit or if his name is big enough that he can just pump out complete crap and the sycophants eat it up. I get it though, why bother going up to Monty Python level when the average viewer thinks pictures of cats with misspelled words written on top of them is the pinnacle of comedy? Fuck, I hate you all.

good review. though you forgot to mention that on hard difficulty setting the dry humping is done nude.

Jesus christ, I looked at the title and thought "Man, is that out?"
before being slapped with the cold truth: I just don't care anymore.

ark123:
"Duke Nukem For Never" jokes were mildly funny ten years ago. Pointing out the irony in the title was funny for about five minutes in the 90's.
[...]
This is a test. Yahtzee knows this is shit, he's checking if he needs to bust his ass coming up with funny shit or if his name is big enough that he can just pump out complete crap and the sycophants eat it up.

Actually, the reason why he chose to do this Duke Nukem Forever thing is because its recent cancellation makes it highly topical to write up commentary on how much of an epic waste it turned out to be.

Knowing that doesn't make you a Yahtzee fanboy. Not knowing that and getting your panties in a bunch because Yahtzee didn't do a "real" review just means the context was too deep for you to pick up on.

I want to hear Yahtzee talk about games he either loves or hates, not games that were never released.

So noted. What we want or expect, however, is rarely what reality will deliver.

First time Yahtzee has actually made me actually laugh hard, primarily due to the fact that there are twice as many comments as he usually gets. Kinda makes me wish that some student group would simply take over and release an Unreal Mod or something.

Hahahaa! ooohh god that was so hilarious, i almost forgot that i was waitin for this game like a cure for cancer.

geldonyetich:

ark123:
"Duke Nukem For Never" jokes were mildly funny ten years ago. Pointing out the irony in the title was funny for about five minutes in the 90's.
[...]
This is a test. Yahtzee knows this is shit, he's checking if he needs to bust his ass coming up with funny shit or if his name is big enough that he can just pump out complete crap and the sycophants eat it up.

Actually, the reason why he chose to do this Duke Nukem Forever thing is because its recent cancellation makes it highly topical to write up commentary on how much of an epic waste it turned out to be.

Knowing that doesn't make you a Yahtzee fanboy. Not knowing that and getting your panties in a bunch because Yahtzee didn't do a "real" review just means the context was too deep for you to understand.

Go back to professional wrestling.

Yahtzee's job is to review games, not to do commentary on games news. He does talk a lot about current events WHILE he reviews games, and that's great, but we have enough people trying to apply the formula to other shit (hell, half this goddamn site is people trying to do shit like reviewing movies while talking really fast with an English accent).
This didn't "go over my head". This hit me like a fucking brick. Yeah, I'd love to hear Yahtzee talk about politics or movies or even food, but this is Zero Punctuation, and it's about reviewing real goddamn games.
But hey, since it's going this way, maybe he can review the iPhone next or talk about Twitter.

Edit - I notice you went back on the wrestling comment because you thought it diminished your point. Good move. My point is that I don't want this to turn into This Week In Tech. As it is right now it's a classic, and classics don't need to be messed with.

What? He reviewed a game he LIKED? I'm gonna call Satan and ask him if he's okay, because I think Hell just froze over.

kaosboy13:
What? He reviewed a game he LIKED? I'm gonna call Satan and ask him if he's okay, because I think Hell just froze over.

Oh wait, this one was never released. Now I feel stupid...

kaosboy13:

kaosboy13:
What? He reviewed a game he LIKED? I'm gonna call Satan and ask him if he's okay, because I think Hell just froze over.

Oh wait, this one was never released. Now I feel stupid...

As you should

Gee Gee.

ark123:
words

Quick! Everyone stop liking this video! One guy didn't think it was funny, so we must all be idiots!

Oh, and I think The Escapist get to tell Yahtzee what his job is, not you.

Sledgimus:

ark123:
words

Quick! Everyone stop liking this video! One guy didn't think it was funny, so we must all be idiots!

Oh, and I think The Escapist get to tell Yahtzee what his job is, not you.

Quick! Everyone stop making posts on this message board! This guy thinks commenting on stuff on this site is stupid!

ZING! Oh, what a witty... wait, sorry. I thought you said something clever. My mistake.

Copy and paste this if you acually beleived him for a moment.

ark123:
No, it didn't. Stop saying it did. This isn't funny, you morons. I want to hear Yahtzee talk about games he either loves or hates, not games that were never released. Yeah, we get it, the game was never released and expectations were built up. "Duke Nukem For Never" jokes were mildly funny ten years ago. Pointing out the irony in the title was funny for about five minutes in the 90's.
This is a test. Yahtzee knows this is shit, he's checking if he needs to bust his ass coming up with funny shit or if his name is big enough that he can just pump out complete crap and the sycophants eat it up. I get it though, why bother going up to Monty Python level when the average viewer thinks pictures of cats with misspelled words written on top of them is the pinnacle of comedy? Fuck, I hate you all.

Haha, you don't have an avatar.

Good review. Wikipedia thought it worth a mention.

geldonyetich:

Imagine if you could go back in time and get hired by 3D Realms to work on Duke Nukem Forever? I could putz around inventing and reinventing a game for 10 years without having to worry about ever releasing because I know it's not meant to be.

You might have to shave off half your moustache though.

Cosplay Horatio:
I agree, lets forget about this game forever.

What game?

I can't recall when I last laughed this much. I've been following the development of DNF (Duke Nukem Forever, obviously. It would be silly to mean Did Not Finish...) since DN3D, and so it was an absolute delight to watch this spectacular waste of time and effort get shredded.

It's a shame, but really - with over a decade in development, there was no way this was going to work. Even if it had got released it would have proven a massive disappointment and the biggest over-hyped bollocks since Daikatana.

Broken Blade:
Such an epic masterpiece, and a game that Yahtzee actually likes! See, it only takes a decade to make a game that fits his incredible standards!

Another excellent one, Yahtzee. I was howling half the time.

dear god i hope this guy is being sarcastic.

Yahtz' deffinately knows how to hammer in his sharp acurate point into painfull places in the soul that forces one to abandon the vauge reflection of a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel we have been in for 12 years * forever.
Its realy not so great to faff about long enough to encur yathzeuz' wrath, he did say in one AG podcast that a big man wouldn't do a whole video taking the cheese about one thing because they personaly didn't like it, but I think he is excused for being so funny and so right.

and at the guy who says wiki. thought its worth mentioning, anyone can edit wikipedia, I regularly rearange large paragraphs to either spell out rude words or just 100% backwards.
that is such a great cryptography article now. aside... so saying that wiki has it on merely means no one on wiki knows or cares enough to have removed it.

oh and if you could go back in time 10 years and work on it, and if anyone does, se about trying to list the awesome game points Y/Z made in the vid, and fill in lill checkboxes as you make an awesome game!

Must be missing a trick somewhere me. After reading the first page of comments I dunno what to think.

Just what I needed to see :)

One of the best reviews he has done in a while.

ark123:

geldonyetich:

ark123:
"Duke Nukem For Never" jokes were mildly funny ten years ago. Pointing out the irony in the title was funny for about five minutes in the 90's.
[...]
This is a test. Yahtzee knows this is shit, he's checking if he needs to bust his ass coming up with funny shit or if his name is big enough that he can just pump out complete crap and the sycophants eat it up.

Actually, the reason why he chose to do this Duke Nukem Forever thing is because its recent cancellation makes it highly topical to write up commentary on how much of an epic waste it turned out to be.

Knowing that doesn't make you a Yahtzee fanboy. Not knowing that and getting your panties in a bunch because Yahtzee didn't do a "real" review just means the context was too deep for you to understand.

Go back to professional wrestling.

Yahtzee's job is to review games, not to do commentary on games news. He does talk a lot about current events WHILE he reviews games, and that's great, but we have enough people trying to apply the formula to other shit (hell, half this goddamn site is people trying to do shit like reviewing movies while talking really fast with an English accent).
This didn't "go over my head". This hit me like a fucking brick. Yeah, I'd love to hear Yahtzee talk about politics or movies or even food, but this is Zero Punctuation, and it's about reviewing real goddamn games.
But hey, since it's going this way, maybe he can review the iPhone next or talk about Twitter.

Edit - I notice you went back on the wrestling comment because you thought it diminished your point. Good move. My point is that I don't want this to turn into This Week In Tech. As it is right now it's a classic, and classics don't need to be messed with.

Cry moar little bitch.

No one gives a shit about what you want and your crying sure won't help it.

Wow, so much feeling for something that was, after all, a joke at the developer's expense.

To those reading all this and thinking "But Yahtzee is a game reviewer - I want actual game reviews!" please ask yourself, why do we actually log on to the Escapist and watch ZP? Is it for the in-depth analysis of a game? Is it to listen to the pearls of wisdom spewing forth from the frantic mouth of the reviewer? Or is it because Yahtzee has a humourous and scathing reviewing style backed by amusing animations that, when viewed in the spirit intended, makes us laugh?

If you want a good, in-depth review, look elsewhere. If you want to get the feel for a game and laugh your a$$ off at someone who genuinely has a talent for sarcastic wit, watch Yahtzee.

I know I'll be back next week.

Oh, and I echo the sentiment that the Escapist sets the boundaries for Yahtzee's job. Just because we see him as a game reviewer doesn't mean to say that the Escapist don't place value on his skills as an entertainer. I was entertained, were you?

 Pages PREV 1 . . . 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 . . . 25 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here