Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever

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I haven't read ALL of the thread (forbid the fact I spend all my time reading every page of this) But did anybody else see that "Letter of the Week" thing at the end? It's sad that somebody sent a letter requesting where the game came from. I actually was about to wonder myself if it was out, until I saw at the end of the credits that Yahtzee was just making all the crap up. Then as I thought about it, if the game really DID release, the hype over it would be so loud that everybody would of known it came out. For gamers, it would be impossible that the title releasing would of gone unnoticed. So now I wonder if he just did this fake review to see how many people were stupid enough to send actual letters asking where the game is.

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

The_root_of_all_evil:
So, what system is it out for? I've been saving for ages.

The playstation 9001.

But I thort it was for the play station 999393 but if you say so.

Firstly its thought.
And secondly you just killed the joke.

like i give a fuck.

Charming.

it is now lets just leave it at that.

And let you have the last word? NEVER

If it shuts you up in a non derogatory way then yes you can have the last word I guess,any way i will just have to RISE ABOVE IT.

You cannot rise above it. You first response to me was swearing, there is no maturity in your body whatso ever.

Calm down, any why "what" and "so" are two words not one "whatso" I believe that some on who clams others are not mature could spell the sentience correctly.

Actually its a local way of spelling it so technically Im right. I love how you lecture me on spelling and then go on to spell sentence wrong. Oh and how are spelling and maturity even linked in the slightest?

The way in which I spelled mature was correct because I was directing it at some one and not the process between childhood and adult hood e.g. "maturity". Any way being "technically" correct and using the true form of correctness e.g. a dictionary and not a half price regional one which makes your argument look a lot like shit furthermore you said I cant rise above it due to my first response but what about you, you could have been or tried to be the bigger person by not answering back in the first place.

I corrected the way you spelt sentence not maturity. And you've tried to recover from that by the weak technique of burying my reply in text. Face it I'm wittier and smarter than you, you will not win this argument so just give up.

Arrogance brings down all and any way if you are so bloody smart than you would have noticed the first thing you quoted was some ones joke in the form of sarcasms so lets continue this debate some were else not on this web site in fact why don't you come to your mums room, I will be waiting just remember to knock. More over great joke better than that poor thing you put before and by the way "smarter than you", go back to the remedial class where you may actually be smarter than some one for once.

I continued the joke. How do you not get that?

Oh hilarious I'm a retard how witty you are.

Just fuck off and leave me alone I mean what the hell you are getting out of this it's completely of the original subject an I am sick of your bitchy replies along with ever one else is so let it go, no wonder you have no friend and if you replied I will report you and in doing so will be doing every one else a favour, more over I am truly sorry to all those who have to put up with this.

You're choosing to reply so you bring it on yourself.

Have you questioned everyone on the escapist? No so you cannot make comments about everyone being sick of it.

Oh and I have done nothing wrong so go ahead and report me nothing will happen over it.

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

The_root_of_all_evil:
So, what system is it out for? I've been saving for ages.

The playstation 9001.

But I thort it was for the play station 999393 but if you say so.

Firstly its thought.
And secondly you just killed the joke.

like i give a fuck.

Charming.

it is now lets just leave it at that.

And let you have the last word? NEVER

If it shuts you up in a non derogatory way then yes you can have the last word I guess,any way i will just have to RISE ABOVE IT.

You cannot rise above it. You first response to me was swearing, there is no maturity in your body whatso ever.

Calm down, any why "what" and "so" are two words not one "whatso" I believe that some on who clams others are not mature could spell the sentience correctly.

Actually its a local way of spelling it so technically Im right. I love how you lecture me on spelling and then go on to spell sentence wrong. Oh and how are spelling and maturity even linked in the slightest?

The way in which I spelled mature was correct because I was directing it at some one and not the process between childhood and adult hood e.g. "maturity". Any way being "technically" correct and using the true form of correctness e.g. a dictionary and not a half price regional one which makes your argument look a lot like shit furthermore you said I cant rise above it due to my first response but what about you, you could have been or tried to be the bigger person by not answering back in the first place.

I corrected the way you spelt sentence not maturity. And you've tried to recover from that by the weak technique of burying my reply in text. Face it I'm wittier and smarter than you, you will not win this argument so just give up.

Arrogance brings down all and any way if you are so bloody smart than you would have noticed the first thing you quoted was some ones joke in the form of sarcasms so lets continue this debate some were else not on this web site in fact why don't you come to your mums room, I will be waiting just remember to knock. More over great joke better than that poor thing you put before and by the way "smarter than you", go back to the remedial class where you may actually be smarter than some one for once.

I continued the joke. How do you not get that?

Oh hilarious I'm a retard how witty you are.

Just fuck off and leave me alone I mean what the hell you are getting out of this it's completely of the original subject an I am sick of your bitchy replies along with ever one else is so let it go, no wonder you have no friend and if you replied I will report you and in doing so will be doing every one else a favour, more over I am truly sorry to all those who have to put up with this.

You're choosing to reply so you bring it on yourself.

Have you questioned everyone on the escapist? No so you cannot make comments about everyone being sick of it.

Oh and I have done nothing wrong so go ahead and report me nothing will happen over it.

"bring it" then i will in fact im bringing right now to, your MUM

Beldaros:

RedMenace:
Bah! I was expecting an actual review of an actual game this week. Quit slacking off Yahtzee. Do your job.

I couldn't agree more

i couldn't agree less.

maybe i just watch it for entertainment value and not as a device to see which games i wanna buy (none), but if you've really got an issue with this review simply because the game doesn't exist, then maybe you should go to gamespot. he makes some good points in his reviews, but i find he's way too pessimistic to be taken seriously.

i've been wondering when someone would take the piss out of this franchise

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

ironhalo999:

Tehpwnsauce:

The_root_of_all_evil:
So, what system is it out for? I've been saving for ages.

The playstation 9001.

But I thort it was for the play station 999393 but if you say so.

Firstly its thought.
And secondly you just killed the joke.

like i give a fuck.

Charming.

it is now lets just leave it at that.

And let you have the last word? NEVER

If it shuts you up in a non derogatory way then yes you can have the last word I guess,any way i will just have to RISE ABOVE IT.

You cannot rise above it. You first response to me was swearing, there is no maturity in your body whatso ever.

Calm down, any why "what" and "so" are two words not one "whatso" I believe that some on who clams others are not mature could spell the sentience correctly.

Actually its a local way of spelling it so technically Im right. I love how you lecture me on spelling and then go on to spell sentence wrong. Oh and how are spelling and maturity even linked in the slightest?

The way in which I spelled mature was correct because I was directing it at some one and not the process between childhood and adult hood e.g. "maturity". Any way being "technically" correct and using the true form of correctness e.g. a dictionary and not a half price regional one which makes your argument look a lot like shit furthermore you said I cant rise above it due to my first response but what about you, you could have been or tried to be the bigger person by not answering back in the first place.

maybe you should have realized by this point that it was a joke, and he's just shoving you because he knows you'll get all huffy and reply angrily back, and the cycle continues.

it's like watching a laughing bully pick on the brainy kid with no social skills. do you really think getting angrier would end the argument?

and if you two really wanna get technical, isn't whatsoever one word? the escapist's spell checker seems to agree with me

EDIT: oh yeah, and it's "sentence", not "sentience"

AmrasCalmacil:
I'm very very confused.

I was too. -_-

donkeybollocks2009:
Tehpwnsauce:
oi m8 i saw ur mum on redtube yh sucking some blac kcock

Very mature. Honestly I find it quite sad that you watch porn.

Could you two please stop arguing about something as stupid as this.

You do realise, he just reviewed a game -Which does not exist-

Tempist:
You do realise, he just reviewed a game -Which does not exist-

If it hadn't been announced dead a couple days before this imagine the stir it would have made. People would have thought yahtzee had recieved an early reviewers play. Too bad yahtzee, you tried.

great one! Classic..must...share.

wow... flame war much?

I remember Yahtzee talking once about how he liked the thought of a professional troll, one who dressed nice and handed out business cards.

With the flame war and the length of this thread, I would say Yahtzee earns that title.

stinkychops:

Tempist:
You do realise, he just reviewed a game -Which does not exist-

If it hadn't been announced dead a couple days before this imagine the stir it would have made. People would have thought yahtzee had recieved an early reviewers play. Too bad yahtzee, you tried.

Did you see the very end of his last video? One of the fan mails he got? That person was sure Yahtzee actually got one! Have a look at it, I thought it was hilarious how easily fooled some are.

Resistance205:

stinkychops:

Tempist:
You do realise, he just reviewed a game -Which does not exist-

If it hadn't been announced dead a couple days before this imagine the stir it would have made. People would have thought yahtzee had recieved an early reviewers play. Too bad yahtzee, you tried.

Did you see the very end of his last video? One of the fan mails he got? That person was sure Yahtzee actually got one! Have a look at it, I thought it was hilarious how easily fooled some are.

I just saw it now. Obviously the guy didn't pay much attention to what yahtzee was actually saying in the review, particularly the bit where he said, "I thought it was clever I was reviewing a game that doesent exist". Thanks for bringing that to my attention.

Absolutely brilliant especially about you having to work for your acheivements.

Renikor:
wow... flame war much?

yeah, wasn't these comments originally intended for a yahtzee video?

Tehpwnsauce:

donkeybollocks2009:
Tehpwnsauce:
oi m8 i saw ur mum on redtube yh sucking some blac kcock

Very mature. Honestly I find it quite sad that you watch porn.

I watch porn...as does the majority of the male population here. Not that they'd admit it so openly.

Sad thing, I sent this video to a friend and he started shitting his pants, asking and begging me to tell him where to buy the game. I just looked at him and shook my head.

Ha ha ha it was so funny! I laughed so hard I almost peed a little!

i feel so stupid
because the whole review i was like wtf
and after i had to look up DNF just to make sure its not out

i watch porn:}

UmbrellaAssassin:
i watch porn:}

holy shit me 2!!!

*high fives*

The hilarious irony about all this Duke Nukem stuff is that, while the developers were such insane perfectionists that they actually started from scratch every time a game came out that was better than what they had finished so far, the one thing the last eleven years have proved is that the franchise has one of the most easy-to-please fanbases on Earth.

It just kinda loses its magic when ZP is all-positive...

lol this review was awesome

dang this is getting more replys than any other thread ive seen

captainwillies:

UmbrellaAssassin:
i watch porn:}

holy shit me 2!!!

*high fives*

What, there are more of us!
*Double high fives*

Beldaros:

RedMenace:
Bah! I was expecting an actual review of an actual game this week. Quit slacking off Yahtzee. Do your job.

I couldn't agree more

Actually this ties very well to his hype complaints (see 'The E3 Trailer Park') and Yahtzee did take a stab at the Duke Nukem Forever teaser way back in 'Yahtzee Goes to GDC'.

Nice vid, however...
I'm not sure if there has been a comment to this same effect (too lazy to go trawling for it), but the case between Take 2 and 3DR is not as clear cut as what Take 2 is making out:
http://ve3d.ign.com/articles/news/47184/3D-Realms-Responds-To-Take-Twos-Duke-Nukem-Forever-Lawsuit

If 3DR is to be believed, Take 2 are royal assholes. It's not because they are threatening a game (I'm sure Take 2 could get someone else to do it) that so many people have been hyped up about, but just because of what 3DR are claiming that they've done.

The short and curly of it (for those that are not going to bother using the link) seems like Take 2 had no intention of letting 3DR do it their way from the very start. You don't invest money for publishing rights (without the dev party in question there mind you), then string 3DR along, possibly knowing full well they can't ask anybody else for funding since their original Infogrames deal. Making you (Take 2) their only hope for continued development. I'm sure Take 2 could have dug out some pocket change to keep it going. They were not loosing any money on the deal, and with 3DR clearly reaching a goal (we only have 3DRs word on that) this move was all about fattening up DNF by letting 3DR sink their money into it, then at the last second take the lot for well under what 3DR had already spent. It's theft and I've seen it happen before (I work in this industry, the dev bit not the thievery ;) ).

As for long development times: none of us outside of 3DRs team really knew what it was like. It could have been that 3DR felt assumed that they could support the dev team they had, small as it may have been, through sales of existing games (they did manage to spend 20 million on DNF). So instead of sitting there saying shit like 'oh it's taking soooo long, they're idiots, I'm smart, I would have done it quicker', try to keep it in your pants. You've clearly let the hype by other get to you (plus I'm sure you have no idea what you're talking about).

Is this the line for the undersea pony rides? How much extra does it cost to get a picture with Yahtzee at the end?

On a technical note: I got a copy of D.N.F. off of Craigslist but the 10th disc is scratched! I don't know how I can finish all 14 discs worth of the game now! And I was just up to the cooking for the alien wedding part! :(

i showed this to a friend he taught it was real lol

ok, first of all i have never heard of nukeman or something. and if it where available in canada then i should probably get off my ass and check EB games instead of gamefly (when pigs fly)

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