Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever

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Yahtzee, you have out done yourself this week sir.

But wait, how many times does the Duke declare that he has balls of Steel? I need to know before I buy. Thanks!

Here's an idea... now that the game is officially canceled, why don't they just release the franchise into public domain and let small start-up game studios take their own shots at making DN:F, someone collects all the submissions and releases the top few as a box set?

I am surprised and amused. This is by far the best review yet. Loved it. Also anything with Hendrix is awesome.
P.S I am less humble. Yes I am less humble than Yahztee

yeah it's out on good old games, and that was 1997 by the way

Brilliant! I've found it baffling that every couple of years some article with new screenshots would come out for Duke and the game mags/sites would need a change of underwear halfway through their gushingly amorous fanboi write-ups.

Maybe I'm in the minority, having played Duke 3D back when it was released, but I never thought it was that great of a game to begin with. It was a shooter...just like a bunch of other games that were coming out at the time. I gave it a go, then retired it like so many other games before it. How it's remained "popular" as anything other than "the vaporware that could...and didn't" is beyond me.

Good riddance, I say.

This is a Yhatzee defining review.

Erm....Wow...Well I didn't expect this.

Oi you talked way to fast for a stint. Best review since Halo Wars.

I've been waiting for you to do something involving Duke Nukem Forever since I saw the Gamedamage pilot episode. At least you finally got around to it.

You can tell who didn't watch the review before posting. Also, I think they maybe bots. I was expecting a rant on how 3d Realms screwed up.

Well i'm kind of sad that it didn't get made because it was clearly going to something either so good that you weep tears of pure joy or it was going to be so bad and such a horrific mess that the devil would force new arrivals in hell as it'd save on costs just to put them through an eternity of pain and suffering in only a few hours... oh well at least the big Y put a good spin on this fiasco :P

P.s my badge need revision please.

Yahtzee what pills have you been taking this time?

That's targic!

Also what? No Pedigree Chum plug?

OMG did you all unlock the cheat to where you can play the game on a toaster oven? I mean yeah I experienced some lag when I tried to play it on a toaster oven made circa 1970, but shit it is such an intuitive gaming design.

For instance you put in white bread to equip your pistol, wheat bread for you shotgun, pumpernickle for the M9 Carbine Assault Rifle and your first born child in if you want to snag the fuckin' BFG for the game. And let me tell you, when I saw youtube clips of what the BFG in this game could do, it made me want to knock my girlfriend up it is just that WTFPWN awesome.

Anyway look up the cheat and see it for yourself because playing on a toaster oven where bread determines what kind of gun you're firing at the geniously developed xenomorphic muppet cyborg aliens is just complete awesome-sauce!

I was wondering what the hell was going on when I saw that title, but I love how he managed to pull it off,and he made it funny and insultin to 3dRealms at the same time! Woo

I gave up caring when they said: "and there has been a lot of World of Warcraft" in an interview. I play WoW, playing WoW wasn't my issues with what they said, but they weren't being paid to play WoW they were being paid to make a game. So Laywers are go and have my full support.

Well, I must agree with him - it's not f**king tragic.

Bah! I was expecting an actual review of an actual game this week. Quit slacking off Yahtzee. Do your job.

This is one of the best episodes you have done in months, me and my friend here laughed ourselves to tears. Brilliant, really good stuff. :)

This was absolutely brilliant. My stomach hurts.

Ben! Jimi! Come back!

This review of a hypothetical game was better than the past few reviews of actual games. Thank you, Yahtzee, please continue to talk about things that will never exist forever.

probably the best "review" ever. makes me want to play duke nukem 3d.

Well we can safley expect the sequel Duke Nukem Infinity to come out in the next 20 to 25 years and I can't wait. I totally agree with this review, the traffic conducting bit at the start was a bit weak though. *cough* *cough*

That was fucking fantastic XD

Well, I'm just wowed. I mean, it took me a sec to realize IT WAS ALL A JOKE, but what really baffled me was that yahtzee knew so many kind words. Help! The sky is falling, gahh!!!

Speculative reviews...I see what you did there. I suppose the next thing is "what if" reviews, like "What if Sonic Team could make a working game".

this is the best review of all time

How deliciously vicious.

Ah if a game like that only existed... XD

I thought the yellow submarine was a nice touch.

I saw the title and all i thought was "I thought this game didn't even come out yet..." And i realized, it didn't. Brilliant thoughts for reviewing a game still (possibly) in development.

The_root_of_all_evil:
So, what system is it out for? I've been saving for ages.

Well he reviewed the PS3 version but I was going to get it for my microwave, I hear it's out on everything with a screen.

Hilarious ep tho, one of the best in a while.

There can only be one explanation!
Yahtzee has discovered a time machine and thus accidentally went forward and then backwards in time....
Very funny, but I have to say that C miss his humorous criticism...
Maybe Yahtzee has become slightly mad with wait?

i also lol'd at the Blog making an appearance in the end credits

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