Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever

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How could he not mention the level where you have to take out Master Chief by teaming up with Gordon Freeman, but then you get betrayed by him and you have an epic dick vs. crowbar battle that you win by being badass! That was my favorite part!

bornofdust:

-bladerunner-:

SYSTEM-J:
Terrible review. He's really jumped the shark on this one. He doesn't even describe the gameplay at all, he's too busy making stupid, unfunny jokes and long, pointless tangents about monkeys. If you compare this to one of his earlier reviews you'll see that it's NOTHING like his old style. Yahtzee has really sold out and*CUT*

Maybe now, idiots will stop lambasting him for not doing "proper reviews".

*sigh* He can't comment on gameplay because the game IS NOT OUT and may never be, he was only talking about how the game should be when it is released due to the time it is taking to 'develop' it (or did you not understand the extremely radical change in Yahtzee's reviewing style ie. he had nothing bad to say about the game).

Read up on the subject before making unfounded complaints about it.

Aaaahahahaha!

Sarcasm = missed.

Ah :I sorry about that sarcasm = missed by me.
Maybe I was to confused by the review.

I refreshed. I refreshed again. I refreshed a third time.
Unless this is a statement on how the player will never appear just like the game, I am not amused.

Abedeus:

scotth266:
Pfffft.

Ok, so I'm supposed to be a idiot for hoping that something half decent might have come out of 3D Realms? Granted, I didn't expect it to happen, but there's no need to insult people for hoping for something good.

No, there's no need for that.

Unless someone waits for a thing that has been in the studio for over a decade.

Lest we forget that "insulting people for hoping for something good" could be considered Yahtzee's unofficial motto going on some time now.

LOL, it took me a while to see what Yatzhee was doing

Some ppl joust dont get it.
Duke Nukem Forever is the gratest joke in history because it wasnt intended to be, i can say that despite there being a lot of companion cube jokes nothing comes close to DNF.

I never thought i would see a zp review of DNF but i indescribably happy!

Abedeus:

scotth266:
Pfffft.

Ok, so I'm supposed to be a idiot for hoping that something half decent might have come out of 3D Realms? Granted, I didn't expect it to happen, but there's no need to insult people for hoping for something good.

No, there's no need for that.

Unless someone waits for a thing that has been in the studio for over a decade.

How does the amount of time spent waiting for something degrade the possible quality of it? Whether the game is good or bad is undetermined until it is released.

Once again, I repeat: I did not expect anything to come from DNF. But I still wanted to play it. Yahtzee's just dancing on the grave of a game people wanted to play, hoping to attract some attention, and that pisses me off.

wow im first time poster but long time watcher i was really confused with this one i actually thought that he played it but in the end i saw it was a joke...kinda disapointed me but funny as always! :D

AmrasCalmacil:
I'm very very confused.

it was a joke

I started to see throught the joke slightly after the achievement part XD

If that kind of game will ever be made, I want it!

So whats he gonna do when the game actually comes out and surpasses all expectations??

shame on me i had to check this thread to confirm this game wasn't out yet :)
Wish it was though fps/cooking momma = Whoa

wait, i thought DNF was canceled and there was no game at all?

they just shelved it becuase they can't finish it

I want to play the game Yahtzee was describing. It sounds much better, and I can't wait to get started on those achievements. Where's that bucket?

I'm not one to comment in ZP threads, but I have to say this video was pretty good. And a good idea. Would have been epic if done April 1st though.

The_root_of_all_evil:
So, what system is it out for? I've been saving for ages.

The PS360 - a machine that can only run Duke Nukem Forever. No other machine can handle that much awesome.

It also has a MagentaRay disk reader, connects to other people's Wireless networks without asking, steals their credit card details and downloads obscene amounts of porn.

The DLC will project this porn during gameplay for maximum enjoyment.

One problem: The Green Ring of Death, though rare, not only destroys the machine but every mad-made structure in a six block radius.

Great review, but I have to disagree about one thing. The cancellation of Duke Nukem Forever was tragic. No, not because it might have been amazing, or actually come out, but becasue PC gaming officially lost its longest running joke. No longer will there be jokes of "at least its not taking as long as DNF," for the quintessential vaporware has at last died.

Also, the amount of people who say they thought this was a real review makes me worry for the human race.

I have to say I don't agree with Yahtzee here. It wasn't that good of a game. 8/10 at best.

It's hard to believe Yahtzee did a filler episode thingy. No the funniest moments of 08 does not count because it really wasn't his idea.

Funny thing is how Yahtzee can make a review a game that will never be released and still be... fun

Why are people getting put on probation for giving nice comments?

Jimmis:
So whats he gonna do when the game actually comes out and surpasses all expectations??

Oh ye of to much faith *calls up social services*.

This one made me laugh like a moron, and I'm not even a Duke Nukem fan.

100% pure awsome. What more to say? You did it Yahtzee. I luaghed my ass off.

AAAAAAAAAHAHA. God. I LOVE Yahtzee. The only flaw in the otherwise flawless ZP was the disclaimer at the end!

Dude, nobody said denial was a pretty thing. But still Its fine to dream sometimes before reality slaps you across the face and puts you back in your place. But still to anybody reading this let's try to cheer Yahtzee up by listing some real games he could review instead. Check out the topic " Games you would like Yahtzee to review" and chip in some ideas.

Bless you, Yahtzee, you mad, beautiful stallion of a game reviewer, you.

And, as usual, curse you for saying it better than I could and faster than I could and somehow still managing to be possible to understand while talking a mile a minute.

is yahtzee talking faster than normal today? (probably cuz he is so exited)

I have no idea why people yell "First!" before watching the damned thing. There's gotta be three or four people who do crap like that every time and get suspended/banned. Sheesh.

Back on topic, that was...absolutely amazing. I didn't see that coming, but it's about the funniest thing I've ever seen. Brilliant satire sir. I tip my hat to you.

Didn't see that one coming.

Magnikai:
I was seriously thinking "WHAT?!?!?! IT ACTUALLY CAME OUT!?!?!?!" And then common sense smacked me across the head and I realized he was making it all up....Hilarious

GuNsLiNgEr X:
First!

....to get banned, sure

How does that get you banned? I'm a little confused on the rules.

I donīt know if you can post links so im going to do it anyway :P
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSnNYUbNdfg
this is the reason why the game never was finished, you have to take your time to get to level 70 :) lol

and yeh 12 YEARS FOR A F*CKING FPS!!!!????!!

Perhaps I'll go out and purchase this game due to the excellent review given by Yahtzee because he says that... HEY!.... Oh you clever lad you. Yahtzee fooled me yet again.

Wait, im confused! Did he like it? :P

This was the funniest review I have ever seen.
Yahtzee....is.....GOD
EDIT: And I like to suck up to people

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