Zero Punctuation: Bionic Commando

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Kingsman:
2:14

Is that... is that Isaac Newton?

...I love these reviews SO MUCH.

It is. Bionic Commando breaks his first law without any shame.

I have a theory as to why there are Pepsi machines everywhere.

The last boss is CM Punk.

ClaptonKnophlerHendrix:
So can anyone tell me what that plot twist was or where to find it?

There was a topic about, but Yahtzee finally put up his rant about it on the front page of his site.

Epic letter!

Yahtzee you beloved twat, you should review The Sims 3.

You'd love it.

mowinckel107:
LOVE the ending

Yup, PEPSI!

People drink Coca Cola just because it's Coca Cola. Pepsi kicks cokes ass any day of the week you pansies.

Ima Lemming:

ClaptonKnophlerHendrix:
So can anyone tell me what that plot twist was or where to find it?

There was a topic about, but Yahtzee finally put up his rant about it on the front page of his site.

That is good. Ever since I saw this review I have been trying to find out what that twist is, just to see how bad it is.

Wow...How stupid is Capcom when it comes to writing... or is this just what the japanese army does to their bionic commandos and thus not considered very surprising.

...Shouldn't his new one be out now, or something?

Desert Tiger:
...Shouldn't his new one be out now, or something?

my guess is that he's still sleeping cos it's night where he lives

Edit: It'll prolly be out 6:00 PM

I think the game also has more than visual adverts of Pepsi. My friend bought two cans(one after the other not at the same time) of it from Frank n' Sons yesterday when we were hanging out with our friends and looking at booths and stuff. Subliminal adverts must be present within the game.

Ok, gonna go see the new one now.

LOL the Loading references are hilarious. I thought it was my computer at first when Yahtzee would just stop talking. On that note, I hate slow loading games too, very damned annoying. One reason I never got the first play station until about 2000 and even then I only got 2 games for it; my last being MK and having to wait 3 seconds for Shang Tsung to morph into another character. I know games are getting more complicated, but there is no excuse for any game to have an absurd amount of loading screens anymore, people just want to play, not sit through annoying loading screens all damn day. Loading screens while a new level loads is OK, but having it happening during game play is dumb.

omg pepsi sucks!! i completly agree, lol

SecretTacoNinja:
That email at the end was priceless...

Also can someone tell me what the stupid twist with the wife was? I'm too lazy to look it up. :3

She is the arm.

In regards to that email after the end credits... wow, just... wow.

I'm pretty sure I've sent you one or two annoying emails myself, but at least I had the decency to make sure my questions applied to this reality and not in some alternate version of the space time continuum. Or at least looked at a fucking wikipedia page to check my facts. I mean, Christ! It's all right there, why do so many people jump before they look? I was slightly confused by a few details and to make sure the Duke Nukem review was indeed a satire, it took me all of 3 long agonizing minutes to check up on the recent events of Duke Nukem Forever, or rather, the lacking of events.

Luckily I packed a sandwich, so I managed to survive my extended journey into the unforgiving realm of fact checking.

This is the bestest review evaar, solely for the line, "But sexy and exciting people, like your mum, can etc"

Bionic Commando does have a lot of stupid little things to bitch about making for a great review, but it's actually a really fun game if you just shut up and play it (though it is short).

The loading isn't so much long, it's just that it pops up garishly with no attempt to soothe the loading process (such as fading into the loading screen, or having it consist of an interesting picture like in Mass Effect). Very early in the game it's a bit too frequent because the first few levels are short and easy, and also it pops up before and after the training sequence which is right in the middle of a short level. The loading really isn't that bad.

And since the Pepsi machines were immovable, I became completely blind to them almost immediately and didn't even realize quite how many there were.

Enemy AI is decent as well (considering). If you jump off one side of a building and go to the other side quickly, the enemy will still be investigating the point where you jumped off (whereas if you wait too long they will spread out over the top of the building and be prepared for wherever you pop up).

Oh and yes, the story is the most retarded thing etc. Remember what John Carmack said about story in games... it applies pretty well here.

you killed an important part of me with that review.
luckily for me, it was a weak part, hence making me stronger.
keep up the great work.

Yahzee sounds really happy in this video to me. Perhaps he received some reproductive action immediately beforehand or, perhaps, during the review? In any case it was a delightful change of tone.

lol duke nukem forever! HAHAHA The edn was epic.

I must have forgotten about that letter posted at the end haha
looking back, it's only gotten more ridiculous xD

but oh yeah, screw Pepsi
Coke is better anyway IMO lol

Kage Me:

Kingsman:
2:14

Is that... is that Isaac Newton?

...I love these reviews SO MUCH.

It is. Bionic Commando breaks his first law without any shame.

I guess terrible design and Pepsi count as an outside force.

In answer to Letter of the Week:

You can preorder Duke Nukem Forever at any good entertainment retailer. I believe it's due within a month's time.

drink pepsi in with ice, but coke is better out!

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