Zero Punctuation: Bionic Commando

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I watch every week, but just now decided to register because "I don't care 'bout no wife" and "Pepsi sucks" deserved a thanks.

PS2MAN:
Bionic Commando a Shitty Game Because it drinks Pepsi? ... *Sigh*

At least last weeks awesomeness makes up for this weeks downfall.

Aw come on, the advertising was a pain in the arse and the game sucked jurrasic balls and... hahaha, jurrasic balls? WTF? And, and... oh, blast! Well, I can't remeber what I was going to say so it MUST have been important(!) So I will end with this, the advertising for Pepsi got so boring that I actually blanked out Pepsi adverts and forgot they ever existed... seriously, the only advert I can remember was for NVIDIA and I crushed a guy with that one.

Is this 'First!' thing some sort of inside joke, or is it just sad and I should forget about it?

Psh, who needs pepsi, when you have...
~dundundun!~
Arnold Palmer!
:D

Ah, a great funny video as always! If only it were possible to fav these or to get e-mail notifications about when new ones come out. If it is possible, please someone tell this newb.

They generally come out every week.

on wednesdays. at noon.

that being said, and Yahtzee's general awesomeness being restated, one burning question remains:

which John Sterling does he mean??

I haven't really noticed a game that does corporate whoring since TMNT 2 for the NES with Pizza Hut ads. I guess it was at least relevant unlike pepsi, unless the Bionic Commando used it to fuel his arm or something >_<

It's loading screens and load times can't be nearly as bad as Age of Conan though. If I had to sit through one more Robert E Howard quote I was about ready to cancel the game and bake it in my oven.... so i did.

It's funny because Pepsi sucks.

Also, at the letter thing I just burst out laughing at that.

hahaha, what a idiot

Wow, the letter at the end was pretty hilarious, Go Yahtzee for pointing out his stupidity

One, is it just me, or is Escapist's layout lacking recently?
Two, I really want to hear Yahtzee's take on the piss-poor ending. Where on fullyramblomatic.com would such an artical be, when/if he writes that.

Looking forward to that retarded plot device discussion. Entertaining as always, Yahtzee.

Whew. Saved from buying a shitty game by Yahtzee. I'm glad he pointed out the product placement in this game, as it drove the final nail into the coffin for me. I was prepared for a crappy story and iffy mechanics (although the anti-exploration was something that I was upset over that I heard from other reviews). But I am not prepared to pay $60 for a game that has whoring throughout it to such a blatant degree. The last game I was burned with that was Guitar Hero III, and is the reason I stopped following their (Neversoft/Activision) iterations of the game. Having them get money from me and the people "sponsering" the game is a little too much. I'll stick with the Playstation Network version. At least it's good.

ak82:
why.... do you play... the shittest.... games....

because the reviews are funnier when he can take the everloving piss out of them.

(music starts) "that's en-ter-tain-ment!"

yosophat:
Who is this John Sterling?

Revelo:

Commenting before watching means ban =P

So, now we know Yahtzee hates Pepsi. So this game is obviously a Pepsi vehicle. Surely they would get more sales if you could ATTACK enemies with it; that would be awesome. Seems like the game wanted to rip off Fallout to a point. Shame about long loading times, this is not prehistoric times anymore =(

Also, did someone seriously write to him asking where to buy Duke Nukem Forever?! I don't want to judge but how stupid and disconnected from society can someone get?!

I think; I hope it was a joke. Yahtzee even disclaimed it at the end of his review last week.

weren't there a bunch of people on the forums asking about it as well? i know the majority got it (even if they said it took them a while to catch on), but still, people don't always like to pay attention

Do you all really think that letter at the end was serious? You must be all REALLY, REALLY out of touch with news because they announced about 4-5 weeks ago that 3-D Realms dropped the project, the person who sent it probably meant it as a joke.

PEPSI. Gah, my college just switched from Coke to Pepsi and now Coke is like currency around here. Srsly, if you have a Coca-Cola connection you are invited to all the parties.

But, yeah, funny stuff guy.

I agree with this review so much. Pepsi is baaaad.

Oh, and who is John Sterling? A sportscaster? An author?

Revelo:
Commenting before watching means ban =P

So, now we know Yahtzee hates Pepsi. So this game is obviously a Pepsi vehicle. Surely they would get more sales if you could ATTACK enemies with it; that would be awesome. Seems like the game wanted to rip off Fallout to a point. Shame about long loading times, this is not prehistoric times anymore =(

Also, did someone seriously write to him asking where to buy Duke Nukem Forever?! I don't want to judge but how stupid and disconnected from society can someone get?!

This is probably the guy who sent in the order form to Valve to buy a Force-of-Nature shotgun.
Gotta admire his guts, though.

willgreg123:
Two, I really want to hear Yahtzee's take on the piss-poor ending. Where on fullyramblomatic.com would such an artical be, when/if he writes that.

Probably in his updates on the front page. When he ragged on some stupid plot twists in MGS4 he did it in his updates (you can see it three updates down on this update archive.

He did say at the end of the review he was going to discuss the BC plot twist, so here's hoping he follows through on that.

Actually, Super Mario Galaxy was the best for loading screens... because there are none
as for the rest of the show, i liked it, as i do with everyone of them, Spider Man 2 was the best for that sorta thing - Go Yahtzee!

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Bionic Commando

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Bionic Commando.

Watch Video

Hold on a second, didn't Yahtzee say in his double feature review that he never played the original Bionic Commando because it was on the NES and his was a Commodore 64 house?

2:14

Is that... is that Isaac Newton?

...I love these reviews SO MUCH.

Pepsi isnt that bad.. hehe anyway a nice joke.
Love your game rewievs.

It's times like these I wish Capcom would go away. I am seriously fed up with the massive amount of mediocre linearity (or linear mediocrity) they seem to go in for nowadays. Can anyone name a truly excellent *recent* Capcom game (and don't say Resident Evil 5, because I don't care)?

I like pepsi...

Too many people let nostalgia and shiny screenshots cloud their judgment of B.C and filled them with anticipation for it to come out.

I thought that it would be a monotone, boring, linear pile of shitsticks since the beginning. And for the first time in quite a while, I was right.
Wow... I was right, what an unfamiliar sensation.

Hilarious video as always.

Broken Wings:

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Bionic Commando

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Bionic Commando.

Watch Video

Hold on a second, didn't Yahtzee say in his double feature review that he never played the original Bionic Commando because it was on the NES and his was a Commodore 64 house?

Do you know how many seconds it takes to download an emulator?

Oh wow... just the mail at the end alone made me rofl...

I could care what he thinks of a game i don't watch his reviews to see if a game is good or bad i watch it for the humor remember that people funny stuff you should try it life isn't so serious really if i want to play a game i will buy it i couldn't give a flying koala what a reviewer thinks of a game i know what i like and no one can tell me otherwise REMEMBER TO SMILE PEOPLE

i took the pepsi challange and i can smell the freaking difference

Oh John S., you're my bloody hero.

I thought I was looking too much into things when at 2:34 on the Video, on the overview of the city, it looked like the Coca-cola 'dynamic ribbon' logo. Now with the references to Pepsi later in the video, it makes more sense.

So can anyone tell me what that plot twist was or where to find it?

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