Zero Punctuation: The Second Annual E3 Hype Massacre

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While I don't see how a lot of those comments at the end were even bashing the games, (ACII not set in space? So what, it can still be great) I have to say, this ZP was hilarious. I stopped leaving comments quite a long time ago because I couldn't find the humor, but this week was simply awesome.

The observant questionnaire:
Fucking Yahtzee-bots, believing whatever this man says without second thought.

Yes! I've created a word. *Cheers*

I noticed that the only thing Yahtzee mentioned about the 360 was the new motion capture thing. Does this mean that he enjoyed the 360 part of E3, and is a firm believer in is as the one system to rule them all? I half expected him to jump all over the fact that L4D2 is coming out exactly 1 year after the first one, saying something like, "oh, couldn't get all your ideas to fit into one game so your are just gonna charge us for a new game that could easily be done with FREE downloaded patches?!?" (I personally don't mind the fact that L4D2 is coming out so soon. I enjoyed it, and I know that I will enjoy the next one as well.)

the_importer:
Yahtzee's not even trying anymore, he just bitches left and right about anything these days.

E3 was great this year, well maybe not for some limited taste action jock player who hates Nintendo, JRPGs, innovation, sequels and anything else that doesn't involve Valve.

This was the most lazy Zero Punctuation I could imagine. I may not watch anymore. It's sad too because I like the Escapist.

Ah.. good ol' Yahtzee. I was starting to think I was the only one who wasn't looking forward to anything besides starcraft 2.

TaborMallory:
Ah.. good ol' Yahtzee. Finally, someone else who shares the same views about the games these days. I was starting to think I was the only one who wasn't looking forward to anything besides starcraft 2.

Ha Starcraft you silly Korean / nerd

so i gotta say, this feels rather phoned in. I'd say if you can't get good material out of whatever you're talking about, don't bother. I'd much rather here one joke about how "E3 was so shitty I won't even talk about it" than see a vaudeville version of ZP

MarcusMang:

TaborMallory:
Ah.. good ol' Yahtzee. Finally, someone else who shares the same views about the games these days. I was starting to think I was the only one who wasn't looking forward to anything besides starcraft 2.

Ha Starcraft you silly Korean / nerd

Starcraft, besides Age of Empires/Mythology, is the only RTS worth playing in my opinion. It feels like future chess with all the strategy and micromanagement. I'll say that it's also one of the four or five games I'm still willing to play.

sonic needs to die now, as much as i loved him in the glory days of my youth he just needs to go the way of lassie at this point >.<

The throat gargle over the ending tune was perfect.

HARRGGLLLEFFLLARRRGGGHHHHHHH/10.

Im surprised he didn't mention heavy rain, or even scribblenauts which everybody is raving about. Who knows, maybe he thought they were good and it would ruin his theme...

TaborMallory:

MarcusMang:

TaborMallory:
Ah.. good ol' Yahtzee. Finally, someone else who shares the same views about the games these days. I was starting to think I was the only one who wasn't looking forward to anything besides starcraft 2.

Ha Starcraft you silly Korean / nerd

Starcraft, besides Age of Empires/Mythology, is the only RTS worth playing in my opinion. It feels like future chess with all the strategy and micromanagement. I'll say that it's also one of the four or five games I'm still willing to play.

I was just making fun of the stereotype of the only people who play RTS's are South Koreans and nerds.

This review makes gaming for the future look very sad. But I'm sure I'll be able to make the most of it!

Oh god the ending cracked me up.

*ARRAAAGGAAAGAGAGAGAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa-*

This was in my opinion the funniest Zero Punctuation in a long time!
Yes it didn't have any value and didn't give any insight about the games, but I just couldn't stop laughing!

TaborMallory:

MarcusMang:

TaborMallory:
Ah.. good ol' Yahtzee. Finally, someone else who shares the same views about the games these days. I was starting to think I was the only one who wasn't looking forward to anything besides starcraft 2.

Ha Starcraft you silly Korean / nerd

Starcraft, besides Age of Empires/Mythology, is the only RTS worth playing in my opinion. It feels like future chess with all the strategy and micromanagement. I'll say that it's also one of the four or five games I'm still willing to play.

At last someone mentions Age of Mythology in the RTS genre. IMO its better than any AoE.

As for Yahtzee, I think he "missed" other games due to one of the 3 reasons:
1. He only picked hyped games he considered to have no future
2. He missed the others considering there's a lot to cover
3. He missed those he deemed to have hope (this reason is the weakest)

TaborMallory:
Ah.. good ol' Yahtzee. Finally, someone else who shares the same views about the games these days. I was starting to think I was the only one who wasn't looking forward to anything besides starcraft 2.

Did Blizzard show anything at E3 this year? I was looking for some Diablo 3 clips shortly after E3, and couldn't find anything. Then I remembered they have been promoting and selling tickets to their own Blizzcon. I guess they're waiting until then to show their games off.

Back om topic though. I personally didn't find this episode particularly entertaining. Lots of angst, but their seemed to be less comedy.

My god the credits were hilarious... as was the "people = shit" thing. The throat gargling pretty much summed up my thoughts on Final Fantasy ever since it reached double digits really, and now there's over 40 of the things (image).

No mention of Golden Sun DS, or Metroid Other M surprised me though and I'm pretty sure the Zelda mentioned is going to be Spirit Tracks , which most people have known about for a while now.

Awesome.

Holy shit I can't stop laughing.

Awesome work.

GuNsLiNgEr X:
"Nobody unwinds by waving their arms about like an air traffic controller covered in beetles."

This sums up my feelings precisely.

The only unwinding I do after I do anything with motion controls involved is Tiger Woods Golf on Wii with the motion plus. Mainly because it's not stressful, I can play through a course in about 30-45 minutes, and not be tired as all balls by the end.

In fact, I've been playing a game in between reading and posting. Just finished, so I'm going to go to sleep for the night.

Anyway, this has been my favorite episode to be released in a long while. While I'm hyped for some games that he listed, it's mainly because I know exactly what to expect out of the titles as I've played the original (uncharted) or I know enough about the game to know that I will love the mechanics, plot, and gameplay of the game (Alan Wake).

Lol, one of my favourite ones in ages. Very funny

Harrow:
Another E3, another slur of games with old tiles and increasingly large numbers at the end. "I wonder if we get the grappling hook or the boomerang first this time" Epic.
I too felt this was a little rushed, you'd think he would have stretched it out over 2 or 3 weeks, what with the summer doldrums.

Agreed why is the summer so bad for games? but so good for films glad I have a lot of ps1 games to play on my lap top till autum.

Doc Theta Sigma:
"Oh hello again Nintendo, I almost didn't recognise you with all that casual gamer semen crusting around your mouth. What's that? Four new Mario games? Awww what's the matter? Your cool new mainstream friends starting to get bored and you somehow remembered you're a video game company, not Fisherprice?"

I owe Yahtzee lunch. That was the best description of Nintendo I've ever heard.

Indeed.. like a bullet right between the eyes. The precision is astonishing.

He precisely summed up my thoughts on Super Mario Galaxy 2.

On another note, where was Other M? D=

Oh Mario 'Space time contineum' has technicaly already come out on the D.S. It was a kinda Mario Rpg where u go back in time to save peach, AGAIN. but you meet up with u former baby selfs. :S

Cylem:
This had me curled over in a laughing fit in the middle of class, though I'm sure it would have been much worse if I'd actually watched E3 this year.

...though I don't feel like I'm missing anything...

Wait? In the middle of class? Where do you go to be educated??!?!!!?

"People are shit"
I think I finnaly found the true meaning to life!

Great puns there, great puns.

E3 really need a name change.
ES for Endless Sequels and start counting from 3.
I badly want to be one of the shitheads going to ES4.

At least he left Dissidia alone!

strangely, the strangled back-of-throat noise was the best bit, as it summed up my thought on FF13 too....i hate FF, zelda wins hands down
heh, you should see the pants on head f***skull re***ed theories b.net users have for halo:reach 0_o i lost even more faith in humanity when i layed eyes upon them, time travel? chief being in 2 places at once? i swear, my brain cells are commiting suicide just thinking about it
assassins creed 2 will be great, euro only special edition! yay!

"people are shit"? someone listens to too much slipknot ;)

LOL!!!!!!!!

Love the noises.

not bad review of e3 as a whole, scared for life from the gargling

spot on opinion of nintendo and sonic games, though ps3 wii wand ? i know sony are always stealing idea's but how do they keep on getting away with it ?? c@@ts

i am aware of sony/ nintendo colaboration with the snes.

Bayonetta! More like hey'o'netta don't play this ga- OH FUCK YOU! Hahahaha!

Great episode :D

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