Escape to the Movies: Transformers Revenge

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Baby Tea:

Keane Ng:
Kung Pow is an AMAZING movie, and I'm proud to own it as well.

Keane, I think I'm in love with you.

Also: "THATS A LOT OF NUTS!"

"Would you Like Fries with that?" I had Kung Pow on VHS (might still have it actually, going to have to do some rummaging around to see if I can find it.)

I will say that I had fun with this movie, and I had a few laughs which I wasn't expecting, and actually did enjoy it. I did enjoy the toys when I was little, and watched a bit of the cartoon, (though I don't remember what it's actual name was, the one with the kids and the mini-transformers that would fuse with the transformers) Yes the movie had some glaring flaws and I can certainly understand why some hate it, to each their own, but I would hardly call it the worst movie ever or the worst movie of the century.

The_root_of_all_evil:

Eldritch Warlord:

Same, I don't know why these people can't be entertained by visually impressive and awesome sounding robots and explosions.

I used to be, but then I learned to walk.

You certainly are a consistently cynical bastard prone to irrational opinions.

I prefer to enjoy life, it's better for your health if nothing else.

EDIT: By irrational opinion I meant you're statement about how you would be happy if it was all nostalgia, not simply disliking the movie (that's understandable).

randommaster:
He not just mad because it's a bad Transformaers movie, he's mad because it's a bad movie that people like for some reason and Michal Bay is making tons of money off of it.

But it's far from a bad movie. Most things in it are only sound at worst (acting). But you wouldn't expect more. The Lighting was quite Hollywood but great if you're into that. The sound design sounds brilliant from the ads, and if it was up to the standard of the first then that should be great. CGI as well was amazing. It's far from a bad movie.

randommaster:
Also, as far as the sunset comment goes, it's just to make a pooint. I'm sure that they didn't make all the actors and animators drink fifty cans of Red Bull before they started working each day.

Or, you know, just light it like a sunset. Plus, animators can do whatever the hel they want whenever they want and get paid a squillion dollars for it. Laziest and best job evar!

Wow he laided on the hate pretty thick for this one *claps hands

We should get him to compete against Yahtzee to see who can speak faster.

Thyunda:
And I thought the fight scenes were pretty damn clear. The one featuring Optimus Prime and the three Decepticons? That was clear. I saw everything.

It was so clear that I don't even know who Optimus was fighting!

Sorry folks, suck it up, the movie designs are bad. The movies are bad. Accept the fact the you paid money to see a terrible movie and then when three comes out stand up and yell no.

PurpleRain:

randommaster:
He not just mad because it's a bad Transformaers movie, he's mad because it's a bad movie that people like for some reason and Michal Bay is making tons of money off of it.

But it's far from a bad movie. Most things in it are only sound at worst (acting). But you wouldn't expect more. The Lighting was quite Hollywood but great if you're into that. The sound design sounds brilliant from the ads, and if it was up to the standard of the first then that should be great. CGI as well was amazing. It's far from a bad movie.

randommaster:
Also, as far as the sunset comment goes, it's just to make a pooint. I'm sure that they didn't make all the actors and animators drink fifty cans of Red Bull before they started working each day.

Or, you know, just light it like a sunset. Plus, animators can do whatever the hel they want whenever they want and get paid a squillion dollars for it. Laziest and best job evar!

As far as the sunset comment goes, you picked that to talk about, which I found unusual.

I think Transformers 2 was bad mainly because there was just so much material that didn't actually advance the plot and was just there for comedy, which it did a bad job of, anyways.

MikeHax:

Thyunda:
And I thought the fight scenes were pretty damn clear. The one featuring Optimus Prime and the three Decepticons? That was clear. I saw everything.

It was so clear that I don't even know who Optimus was fighting!

Sorry folks, suck it up, the movie designs are bad. The movies are bad. Accept the fact the you paid money to see a terrible movie and then when three comes out stand up and yell no.

No.
I'm off to spend money on this movie. Hopefully tonight as well. The first was great! The movies aren't bad nor are the designs. Have you seen some of the original Transformers? One was a city, another was a sexton (I think). God there were some bad ones.

randommaster:
As far as the sunset comment goes, you picked that to talk about, which I found unusual.

I think Transformers 2 was bad mainly because there was just so much material that didn't actually advance the plot and was just there for comedy, which it did a bad job of, anyways.

Hehe, yeah. I reread it and came to the conclusion I should stop waking up and posting with sleep in my eyes and a lack of breakfast.

Hmm, they did this with the first one (the garden scene). These shouldn't really be needed in the movie, but I don't really mind it. I'm not sure what they put in the second, but it kept a relaxed pace between the action in the first. I mean, they need something to break up the constant action.

Wow. I knew avoiding the TF movies like a pauly shore standup show was a good idea. Saved myself some heartpain, from the sounds of things. Dear god help us if Voltron, He-Man or the Thundercats are made into movies. What'd be next? C.O.P.S? Silverhawks? Lone Starr? 'Scuse me, my brain is trying to escape the horror of those thoughts.

Cheers for the info, MovieBob, and I'm sorry you had to sit through what seems to be a steaming load of shite just to give us the warning.

Thyunda:
The robot designs are ugly? Oh, here's an argument for you: IT'S NOT G1!
Yeah, G1 was great and all, but if I wanted to watch it, I'd buy the DVDs. The moment somebody tries to make the robots look less human, and more alien, every damn fan stands up and starts to cry.
Seriously. That's just immature. I liked this movie's Wheelie. He didn't rhyme like a douchebag. And as for Skids and Mudflap, I thought I'd hate them. I didn't. I liked them.

And what's this about it all being the humans? I can't think of one scene that wasn't interrupted by an obnoxious robot.

I'm sorry, did you even see this movie or just read a Transfan forum and look at some pictures? Yeah, they made Devastator do nothing but dig a hole. What were you wanting him to do? Go on a destructive rampage? IN A DESERT?

Sunset..? Where'd you get that idea from? Ok, so the entire first film was set in the sunset. The opening scene to this is at night. The college scenes and the desert are in broad daylight. Though, oddly Shanghai was in daylight before NEST got there.

And I thought the fight scenes were pretty damn clear. The one featuring Optimus Prime and the three Decepticons? That was clear. I saw everything. Bumblebee versus Rampage and Ravage - That was also clear.

And as for Soundwave, what did you expect a communications specialist to do? He did what his G1 job was. Even had the same voice actor. But nope, because he didn't stomp around all blue and cassette player-like, he's bad.

Oh yeah. I noticed the little dig at the flames. "Optimus Prime has flames! What are we going to do?!"
Grow up. Seriously. Somebody paints flames onto a big truck, and you get all upset. G1 was great and all, but once again, if I wanted to watch it, I WOULD.

And finally - The human characters. How do you relate to a plot about giant robots? It's like trying to empathise with the bloody penguins from Happy Feet. They emoted and spoke, but they were just penguins, and I don't think anybody here gave a damn whether Mumble could sing or not, or whether his dancing was a talent or a stylish seizure.

As has been mentioned, this sounds like a review hating for the sake of hating. Go ahead, hug your G1 DVDs and figures, tell them it'll be alright. That they'll come back one day.

They're not going to. Otherwise they wouldn't be worth so much, would they, Afterburner? He's my only G1 figure. :(

How do you relate to a movie about robots?

The same way I was absolutely overwhelmed with the emotion conveyed through two robots who never once speak. Wall-E had more emotion between two voiceless figures than the entire first and second transformers film.

But to each their own. If you like them good for you, but lazy writing and film making is no excuse.

Pezzer:
Y'know, Movie bobs opinions are becoming less and less valued by me. EVERYONE I know liked the Transformers movie and I've been told that the second is even better.

I agree but I did like the first one more overall

BLASPEMY! This movie was great! If you like action, just go and see it. It was by no means a bad movie.

i don't understand the hate. But then I never understand why all the "loyal" fanboys of transformers loved all the cartoons but Beast wars. I liked beast wars but at times the story was rushed...maybe because the production staff were always in fear their show would be cut...

I didn't watch the first transformers movie thinking it would be anything more than hot babes and robots fighting...and your review has told me there will be more of that if I go see it.

I want to see a stupid movie with just that. I watched Crank 1 and 2 and liked both because it had stupid story with nothing making sense but a lot of cool game like action scenes. I'll probably like this movie. My bvrother hated the first movie when he saw it in the theater,but he enjoyed it when he saw it again at home some time ago.

If i want to see a good transformers story i'll go grab beast wars and rewatch that. I don't need to see a live action CGI version with a good story.

Thyunda:
Did you watch Happy Feet while high...?

"Happy Feet" is a movie about a society of penguins where sexual-pairings are determined by one's ability to sing Top 40 medleys in duet, where the hero is a baby penguin who's birth-defect makes him unable to sing but also grants him the latent super-power of flawless tap-dancing skills, which in turn makes him a threat to his society's intolerant religious-leaders who cast him into the wilderness where he comes to discover that the rising food shortage is actually the work of what he percieves to be Alien Invaders...

...why would I even NEED to be high?? ;)

rant rant bitch rant
stop copying Yahtzee

Uhg don;t tell me the petty human B line up characters are the stars again....*sigh*

SomeUnregPunk:
i don't understand the hate. But then I never understand why all the "loyal" fanboys of transformers loved all the cartoons but Beast wars. I liked beast wars but at times the story was rushed...maybe because the production staff were always in fear their show would be cut...

I didn't watch the first transformers movie thinking it would be anything more than hot babes and robots fighting...and your review has told me there will be more of that if I go see it.

I want to see a stupid movie with just that. I watched Crank 1 and 2 and liked both because it had stupid story with nothing making sense but a lot of cool game like action scenes. I'll probably like this movie. My bvrother hated the first movie when he saw it in the theater,but he enjoyed it when he saw it again at home some time ago.

If i want to see a good transformers story i'll go grab beast wars and rewatch that. I don't need to see a live action CGI version with a good story.

Beast wars was great, any TF fan to diss it dose not know WTF they are talking about, Beast machines however sucked, I can't get into the newer transformers the animation is just so bad/corny it dose have a solid story and setup from what I hear but god it looks awful.

The Transformers films rape the fiction, spit on the story and plot(cliched as they are) and worse yet make the the human secondary characters the stars dragging it further into the lulzy abyss of orgasmic tween film production.... IE something that sucks and is shallow as the demographic they are aiming git at. But don't feel alone I'll put Xmen,Spider man 3 and a few other films in with it....... The last 2 new films I can say I liked were push and Star Trek....and the spirit but that's a bit old now, did love hellboy as well....

I really hated the movie.

I couldn't get past the first 10 minutes of the first movie because I just stopped caring. And that's how I feel about the second movie. Nothing about it really draws me in. MovieBob is right about his #1 rule. I mean, if Up can turn washing windows and painting mail boxes into one of the most touching moments in movies, anything can be good. This movie reexerts what I hated about the first movie. I lost interest about 10 minutes in again. Nothing about it pulls me in at all.

Bad movie, good thing I work at the theaters so I didn't have to pay.

First... MovieBob... I'm a really fast, high-level reader but JESUS. Reading text that's only on the screen for an eighth of a second while still listening to your rapid narration is impossible. What are you going for, subliminal messages? Any time I have to stop the video to read the text it's highly distracting, and I had to do so a half dozen times. Keep it up, but not that way. What do you have, a time limit? If so, edit. If not, slow down, we'll wait.

(Meaningful critique over, now moving to simple argumentative quibbles.)

Godfather a pulp? Ok, I'll let that one go since it was used to uphold a good point, but I don't like the tone. Some of our greatest and most innovative American writers wrote pulp, and many of the best writers in history produced their work in what were considered forgettable, broad venues. (Think Hammett, Chandler, Lovecraft and Poe here, as well as Shakespeare, whose plays generally ran for only a week.)

Though I still take exception to Puzo being lumped with Transformers and Batman. (Even though my youth conditioned me to love Transformers and Batman.)

Really enjoy your stuff. Keep it up.

I have to side with Bob here.

I'm finding it kind of interesting that people listing movies they think are on par with the Transformers in stupidity and then go on to list movies like The Transporter, where the stupidity comes from beating up shit in copious amounts. If Transformers was like the Transporter, where we spent most of the movie watching the Autobots and the Decepticons beating each other, nobody would have a problem.

But no, instead we're treated to a whole load of college/relationship claptrap that really has nothing to do with the subject matter at hand. I came here to watch stupid, implausible action, not stupid school drama. I had enough of the latter when I was in school.

Twilight? Even Twilight knows who its audience is. Can't really say the same about this movie.

jacobschndr:
rant rant bitch rant
stop copying Yahtzee

Sorry but the great stallion did not event ranting or humor or game bashing,he might be good at it all sometimes....but.....get over it it plz. =^^=

Baby Tea:
I mean, I own Kung-Pow for Pete's sake. You wanna talk terrible acting and stupid movie (Though that was for sure the point in that film)?

Here's the thing, though: "Kung Pow" ISN'T a stupid movie, it's a well-executed example of old-school slapstick AND a clever-as-hell parody of the martial-arts genre. Odekirk is a vastly under-appreciated comic talent - have you seen his "thumb" shorts? Genuinely funny stuff.

ZippyDSMlee:

jacobschndr:
rant rant bitch rant
stop copying Yahtzee

Sorry but the great stallion did not event ranting or humor or game bashing,he might be good at it all sometimes....but.....get over it it plz. =^^=

...ummm no

Once again a very nice rant about how much the movie sucked. I really hoped that this one would be better and I wouldn't have to couple together Linkin Park's new saw with it, but sadly I have. I've sadly seen this movie before watching this review and I feel robbed. Once again too many humans, army is filler for explosions and screaming humans, all they need to do was add more product placement and kill the black robot again. Now whenever I hear New Divide, or see transformer movie trailers, I wish Link Park didn't paste their song on the movie, or think about the money wasted on a crap movie.

On a completely unrelated note, Movie Bob, go direct a movie, I'm sure many people here would support you, I'd donate a couple of bucks or even write, not type, a couple letters asking you to placed somewhere high up in a movie production. Seriously, all my favorite shows, comics, and genres are getting slaughtered here. Fantastic 4, X-Men, Transformers, Superman (arguable I know), horror movies in general, the body count is just piling up here. Who's next? I'd like to see someone who cares about the basis of good story telling and the concept in a movie.

And for those of you who disagree with Movie Bobs opinions and wouldn't support him in a movie project, wouldn't you still watch it to bust his chops? Case in point, Movie Bob having a important role in the making of a movie would be interesting.

OnTheRocks:
Though I still take exception to Puzo being lumped with Transformers and Batman. (Even though my youth conditioned me to love Transformers and Batman.

Eh, I think he fits in alright... hell, one of his best screenwriting efforts was the first "Superman" film, after all. (incidentally, is that Tracer Bullet in your icon? Awesome!)

I meant no disrespect to the "pulp" genre, which as you adequately demonstrated is a genre to be reckoned with. Regarding "Godfather" the book, my contention is that overall the FILM is a more nuanced, intelligent, superior work of fiction; and that the book's shortcomings are related to it's style - a style which at the time was usually (mis)-labeled as "pulp" or "new pulp" generally in reference to lurid, overlong potboilers (see: Jackie Collins, or Dan Brown today.) It's not a BAD book (though I wouldn't call it Puzo's best) but it doesn't have nearly the place among books that it's film-adaptation has among movies - imo, anyway.

I will note that "material improved by movie" seems to happen slightly more often with pulp (pulp crime-stories, particularly) than with other book genres. See: "Kiss Me Deadly."

Thyunda:
The robot designs are ugly? Oh, here's an argument for you: IT'S NOT G1!

This isnt really the point of why people are complaining tho...

Ever seen Gundam. Thats good mecha design. G1 wouldnt go so hot in CGI, but it wouldnt have to because the problem with Bay's Transformer designs is they are busyier (spelling?) then all shit. It wasn't so bad when a single transformer was in a shot, but most of the decepticons are gun-metal gray and each transformer is made of so many ill-fitting moving part that it makes all the fight scenes confusing. I spent more time figuring out who was who then I did enjoying the action.

yup totally fucked up pearl Harbor

I like Michael Bay movies, but that's because I just like to see shit explode. I haven't seen this but it looked kinda shitty.
Kind of off topic, Whoa,whoa,whoa... the thing you used to present an example of a childhood memory you hope they don't fuck up is He-man? How could anyone possibly worsen the fagfest man on man all dude action show (now featuring 100% more dudage) that was He-man? I remember when i was 5 and didn't even know the meaning of the word "gay" and I thought he man was a little to eager to tear off his clothes and get another guy in a leglock.

Damn straight. Movie blew goats, like only a Michael Bay film can.

Barry93:
So basically the movie Transformers isn't about the transformers. In that case, I'm definately not going to see this.

You really should have known that already.

MovieBob sucks my ass on this one. To HELL with the Michael Bay rants, how the hell else is he going to put Soundwave in the damn film?? As an outdated CASSETTE RECORDER?!?!?!?

To hell with this shitty review, I thought the first Transformers movie was cool! "Based on a toy comercial"???? EVERYTHING in the '80's was based on a damn toy commercial, you dipshit!

I could understand if this review was for the Wii version of the Transformers game, but damnit man, MovieSpongBob's raping of the first TF flick makes me want to see the second one even MORE now.

MovieBob is a douchebag with a face.

Another:

Thyunda:
The robot designs are ugly? Oh, here's an argument for you: IT'S NOT G1!

This isnt really the point of why people are complaining tho...

Ever seen Gundam. Thats good mecha design. G1 wouldnt go so hot in CGI, but it wouldnt have to because the problem with Bay's Transformer designs is they are busyier (spelling?) then all shit. It wasn't so bad when a single transformer was in a shot, but most of the decepticons are gun-metal gray and each transformer is made of so many ill-fitting moving part that it makes all the fight scenes confusing. I spent more time figuring out who was who then I did enjoying the action.

Woe Is You:
I have to side with Bob here.

I'm finding it kind of interesting that people listing movies they think are on par with the Transformers in stupidity and then go on to list movies like The Transporter, where the stupidity comes from beating up shit in copious amounts. If Transformers was like the Transporter, where we spent most of the movie watching the Autobots and the Decepticons beating each other, nobody would have a problem.

But no, instead we're treated to a whole load of college/relationship claptrap that really has nothing to do with the subject matter at hand. I came here to watch stupid, implausible action, not stupid school drama. I had enough of the latter when I was in school.

Twilight? Even Twilight knows who its audience is. Can't really say the same about this movie.

Did we not spend a good hour and a half getting eardrums shattered gorgeous CGI (iMax)and one liners while bots fought? I think the college stuff, small as it was, was a welcome break from the mindnumbing violence that was half the movie.

OMG none of you got the worst part it stole material from two games! COMPLETELY! there was the SAS troopers with the logo on there vest and at the end of the the movie they stole stuff from... MGS4 yah they had the rail gun the same name and the same design c'mon.

PS for that reason i hate the movie.

Eldritch Warlord:

The_root_of_all_evil:

Eldritch Warlord:

Same, I don't know why these people can't be entertained by visually impressive and awesome sounding robots and explosions.

I used to be, but then I learned to walk.

You certainly are a consistently cynical bastard prone to irrational opinions.

I'll take that as a compliment

I prefer to enjoy life, it's better for your health if nothing else.

I do enjoy life. I also enjoy memories, and when licenses are used to benefit the franchise.

EDIT: By irrational opinion I meant you're statement about how you would be happy if it was all nostalgia, not simply disliking the movie (that's understandable).

My irrational opinion is understandable? Doesn't that make it rational?

Let's put it this way, if the film can be renamed "Attack Of The Killer Robots" and have exactly the same premise, effects etc. why bother using a licence that has it's own backstory? Main reason: To bring in the fans of the franchise.
Then...why are they the one group that you then slap round the face?

If you go to see Pride and Prejudice, you want to see Elizabeth capture the heart of Mr. D'arcy; if she walks out on him and shacks up with Miss Lucas (even if it brings in far more viewers) wouldn't you feel just a little betrayed?

Especially if all the cast were wearing jeans and t-shirts?

If you're projecting towards a target audience, as they claim, then you don't stick some woman falling out of her top in, do you?

Guitarmasterx7:
Whoa,whoa,whoa... the thing you used to present an example of a childhood memory you hope they don't fuck up is He-man?

Key word there: Memory.

That's the tricky thing with adapting ANY material original made for young children into a feature film: Most children's entertainment, "legitimate" or otherwise, is VERY thin and often trivial. Thus, the goal is usually not merely to film the material "straight" but rather to recreate the "rose-colored" recollection of what that story once conjured for it's audience... to make it "as good as we REMEMBER" instead of "as good as it WAS."

For example, "Where The Wild Things Are" is a BELOVED children's book, something that is a massive cultural touchstone for people of a certain age. The book itself, however, is a fairly thin, minimalist story primarily driven by AND for-the-purpose-of it's magnificient illustrations. Now, in it's own right, it's PERFECT at being exactly what it sets out to be. Adaptated "straight," thought, it'd be a five-minute short-subject at best and would not really remind any now-older person of the feeling that reading it (or having it read to them) gave them back in the day.

Now, here's the trailer for Spike Jonze's upcoming movie based on the book: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY-dXsR_ZFg&feature=related

Every time I've seen that in a theatre, the over-20s in the audience have often GASPED when they realize what it is. IMO, it would appear that Jonze has "nailed" putting the "remembered feeling" version of the material on film. To an extent, THAT I think is roughly what a lot of people are looking for from these 80s toy/toon movies. Transformers WAS a clunky infomercial for Hasbro, but in our minds-eye memories it was a pulp-scifi epic about robot wars. For my part, I think that a non-jokey, robot-centered Transformers movie pitched at about the level of a Sam Raimi Spider-Man flick is wholly do-able and could be rather awesome.

As to He-Man... yeah, I think there's a good movie in there. It's goofy as HELL as a toon, but "film the memory," remember? Think about it objectively: A big scifi/fantasy action pic where the lead guy is soooo "badass" that he - despite existing on a planet where intergalactic travel, cybernetics and laser-based projectile weapons are all in common use - goes into battle wearing barbarian-briefs and carrying medieval hand-held weapons? And his #1 foe is a skeleton? Yeah, I think you can get 90 minutes worth of good movie out of that.

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