Escape to the Movies: Transformers Revenge

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I for one, liked the first movie. Not for the love story or Fox, but for the actual Transformers (and partially Lebeouf, he wasn't bad). The storyline relating to the Transformers was good and the action scenes were fun to watch. Of course there's no reason to consider it a movie classic, but it's a good action blockbuster. I haven't seen the second one. I know when I will I'll roll my eyes over parts of the human storyline, but that's not what I'll be seeing it for. Thank you MovieBob for ripping apart all the stupid things that bring this movie down in such an angry yet hilarious way.

wait one more thing you do know that the Transformers are cars that transform into giant robots, if they had looked any diffrent than they did in the movie it would have looked retarded. the cartoon made it look like they were made out of about 7 pieces. its a car it has a lot of parts c'mon people.

and how can you not find it funny that out of nowhere near the climax of the movie a sublimnal messeage is made quite clear: Not even giant robots from space can take the U.S. military. While it is ill fiting and did not really belong in this movie I still found it rather enjoyable if not a little awkward.

Maybe my observation is wrong, but I have noticed somewhat the opposite.
When MovieBob gives a positive review, and stays calm and collected, they tend to like his material much better.
When he gets really pissed like he did with this review, it isn't so much "How dare you not like something popular" as much as they think it is too much like a rant and fanboyish, even though many people agree with his opinion.

Tsk, tsk, very poor editing in this video, not up to your usual standards, Mr. Bob, I'm afraid this video gets an F.

On the movie... well, it looks like all it's good for is clogging a toilet, so I'll just tell you to remember the polish and move on.

I get more and more pissed everytime I see the new Starscream. Wtf makes Micheal Bay think that a giant, contrived, utterly asinine fucking triangle of a robot is better than this?:
image
...and I honestly think that that pretty much sums up the movie.

MovieBob:

OnTheRocks:
Though I still take exception to Puzo being lumped with Transformers and Batman. (Even though my youth conditioned me to love Transformers and Batman.

Eh, I think he fits in alright... hell, one of his best screenwriting efforts was the first "Superman" film, after all. (incidentally, is that Tracer Bullet in your icon? Awesome!)

Yes, it's Tracer Bullet! I switch between that and a Black Mask Magazine cover, so it's pretty easy to see where my loyalties lie amidst the noir/pulp crime crowd.

MovieBob:
It's not a BAD book (though I wouldn't call it Puzo's best) but it doesn't have nearly the place among books that it's film-adaptation has among movies - imo, anyway.

I will note that "material improved by movie" seems to happen slightly more often with pulp (pulp crime-stories, particularly) than with other book genres. See: "Kiss Me Deadly."

Ok, fair enough on the Godfather front. I was personally much more fond of Puzo's The Family, but I wouldn't call it literature either. As for movie vs. book, I think I'm going over to your side. I watch the movie at least once a year, but I have no desire to reread the novel. Case closed.

As for Kiss Me Deadly... no comment. I have a complex relationship with Spillane, despite the fact that I've never read him. Someone recently sent back comments on my most recent novel comparing my writing style to his, which caused me to lose some sleep...

"On the other hand," said the wicked half of my brain. " 225 million copies can't be wrong."

As for film adaptations improving material of crime novels, well, I'd say LA Confidential cleaned the novel up a bit, in all senses of the word. The plot threads were easier to follow (following plot threads in a James Ellroy novel is like staring at a box of tangled yarn) and the more gritty and morally repulsive sections excised to create a wider market, but I wouldn't say it improved the material-- I'd say that one broke even. The recent Black Dahlia adaptation though? It would be hard to argue that it was better than the book--I'm still trying to figure where that went wrong. In general though, I think you're right.

OnTheRocks:
As for Kiss Me Deadly... no comment. I have a complex relationship with Spillane, despite the fact that I've never read him. Someone recently sent back comments on my most recent novel comparing my writing style to his, which caused me to lose some sleep...

Well, for what it's worth I regard Spillane as a FANTASTIC writer on the strictly-technical side. His flare for pace, streamlined-description and hard-bitten dialogue are hard to beat in the genre. Content-wise, on the other hand... yeah, Mike Hammer is an incredibly juvenille hypermasculine power fantasy - the obvious product of a profoundly insecure mind fantasizing about how many people-he-doesn't-like he'd blow away and how many hot women he'd hump-and-dump if he was resourceful enough to always get away with it. (That's why the movie is better, it plays Hammer "straight from the book" but places him in a new situation where his tactics and strategies are useless and only get him waaaaaay in over his head, in need of rescue by a combination of chance and his sidekick.)

So if "style" is the compliment, I'd say take it and don't worry unless you're content starts to measure-up to his, too ;)

As much as I liked this review, I really think you are ripping yatzee way to much, and badly at that.

Rage for rages sake, quick flashes of text.

Sure the film may not be great, it probably isnt even good, but unless you a fan that truely loves the transformers genre (judging by your dismissal of the comic your not) that sounded like too much of a yatzee rant.

Yatzee is good, he knows how to use the text flashes, dry humour etc. You, well.... you dont. You actually annoyed me so much I signed up just to tell you how I felt.

The_root_of_all_evil:

And that's my real fear/hatred/rant:
How long 'til we have Half-Life: The Movie where Dirk Freeman rescues the world from the evil (not Arabian at all) Combine who are planning to blow up Tower 13? Starring wise-cracking Jim Carey as Dirk Freeman, Megan Fox as Alyx, Samuel L Jackson as Elias, Ben Stiller as Barney Calhoun and the lovable antics of DOG (voiced by Hank Azaria)
Funnily enough, there's no headcrabs as the test audience didn't like them, but G-Man learns a lesson about how even non-humans can learn to care about the environment.
There's also the sexy alien Vortigaunt, and the "hilarious" adventures of the Dr. Breen.

Tell me you can't see that happening?

Oh man, I would SOOOO love for that to happen. Mostly so I watch MovieBob have an aneurysm. I really do enjoy his rage regardless of whether I agree or not.

-----------

I also love the abundant supply of "OMG!! U R TRYING 2 B YATZEE! D00D! STOPZ!! TRANSFURMERS IZ KEWL K?!? LOLDUUSHBAG! *FAP*FAP*MEGAN FOX!!*FAP*" responses. Why post something so obviously useless if that's the best you can do?

I think the Godfather was a much better book than movie.

Why did he do that to Soundwave? He was the one transformer I thought it would be impossible to make look horrible .... and I was proven wrong once again. Hell the only reason I sat through that piece of shit was because I heard he was finally in it. The Audio Surveillance truck was a good idea, wasn't it?

Thyunda:

No, you simply don't like them. Stop trying to force your opinion onto other people. If you think the designs were bad, fine. Cry about them elsewhere. Otherwise, shut the fuck up.

Good god Thyunda would you please, Shut The Hell UP! IT is NOT good design, it is A. Impracticable design, B. UGLY design, C. IMPOSSIBLE Design, See you haven't yet told me how the design is good other than "Oh but I like it! you must just hate it" When I have gone on and on showing how the design is BAD.

Again for your fucking stupid mind to comprehend, this is an example of GOOD mecha design

image

This is an example of BAD mecha design

image

If you can't tell me why the second design is bad, then you do not have the RIGHT to comment on mecha design!

AGAIN! JUST BECAUSE YOU LIKE IT DOESN'T MAKE IT GOOD! IT JUST MEANS YOUR TASTE AND OPINION ABSOLUTELY SUCK!

And that's the bottom line.

I don't know if anyone said this but, you can't blame the writers here, the movie was written during the writers strike. So if you need to blame someone about it, blame Michael Bay who wrote the movie himself.

Onmi:

Thyunda:

No, you simply don't like them. Stop trying to force your opinion onto other people. If you think the designs were bad, fine. Cry about them elsewhere. Otherwise, shut the fuck up.

Good god Thyunda would you please, Shut The Hell UP! IT is NOT good design, it is A. Impracticable design, B. UGLY design, C. IMPOSSIBLE Design, See you haven't yet told me how the design is good other than "Oh but I like it! you must just hate it" When I have gone on and on showing how the design is BAD.

Again for your fucking stupid mind to comprehend, this is an example of GOOD mecha design

AGAIN! JUST BECAUSE YOU LIKE IT DOESN'T MAKE IT GOOD! IT JUST MEANS YOUR TASTE AND OPINION ABSOLUTELY SUCK!

And that's the bottom line.

If you can't keep it civil don't post it. Opinions are opinions, not facts.

Eric the Orange:

Onmi:

Thyunda:

No, you simply don't like them. Stop trying to force your opinion onto other people. If you think the designs were bad, fine. Cry about them elsewhere. Otherwise, shut the fuck up.

Good god Thyunda would you please, Shut The Hell UP! IT is NOT good design, it is A. Impracticable design, B. UGLY design, C. IMPOSSIBLE Design, See you haven't yet told me how the design is good other than "Oh but I like it! you must just hate it" When I have gone on and on showing how the design is BAD.

Again for your fucking stupid mind to comprehend, this is an example of GOOD mecha design

AGAIN! JUST BECAUSE YOU LIKE IT DOESN'T MAKE IT GOOD! IT JUST MEANS YOUR TASTE AND OPINION ABSOLUTELY SUCK!

And that's the bottom line.

If you can't keep it civil don't post it. Opinions are opinions, not facts.

That's right, and he has an opinion, it sucks. I have facts which are true. People liked Twilight and hail it as the greatest movie of all time but that makes them idiots, this is no different. And I'll be as crude and make as many pop culture references as I damn well please

thank you MovieBob you are grate and probably the film reviewer i can relate most to, can we have your imdb rating list?

Lightbunny:

PurpleRain:
But you wouldn't expect more.

Ugh, no. Fuck you. Fuck you sideways.

People like you are the reason everything sucks now. You would spend $20 to watch a mountain of elephant shit burn for 3 and a half hours if popular opinion said you had to. And if anyone questioned its merits? "Oh, well what else would you expect from a flaming mountain of elephant shit?"

I would try to convince you, and others like you, to stop doing this. To start expecting, nay, DEMANDING MORE from filmmakers/writers/game designers, and complain 'til you're blue in the face when someone just shits out something barely passable (especially with a budget like TF2 had). But whatever. You can't handle criticism of a film, let alone yourself.

Keep celebrating mediocrity, you twats.

Fuck me? Allllrighty there. I don't know what brought that on. It seems you're quite fanatical about hating this movie.

Can you justify any of your points you have made?

And twat? Please. I think I know a tad more about the film biz then you having gone to a film and television college. How is it mediocre? I mean, the CGI work behind it was brilliant. So many shots were crafted so perfectly it would have taken them a while to set up and imagine those.
God, the movie was amazing to sit down and have fun with. Not every movie has to be a European arthouse film. Hollywood can get away with this and make bucket loads of money off of it because they are designed to ENTERTAIN!

I even found the directing to be quite good throughout. The camera framing was great and the lighting was quite bland for Hollywood yet still maintanted that quility. I only found it let down with some actors *coughMeganFoxcough* and the editing. Gah!

Directors have already such a demand, and you know what Micheal Bay is actually a BRILLIANT action director. Sure, he can only do action, yet he does it well.

So if you have a problem with the director himself, the editor or the script, please, take it out on them. Don't call things elephant shit when they have a lot of merit backing them, and don't insult me because you have a different view point then my own.

Thanks Bob, now I'm not going to see this one. The first Transformers movie was so bad that I nearly gave up entirely on Transformers (that I loved as a child) but I didn't because I realised that the real issue was the Michael Bay is the second worst movie director of all time (Ewe Boll being the worst). Someone actually bought me Transformers on DVD knowing that I used to like them when I was a child but I have NEVER WATCHED IT.

And I quote "Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?".

P.S. The problem with the robot designs is that not only do they not look anything like transformers they are spindly and fragile-looking. Realistically if you were to build one you couldn't get it to stand up, let alone move fluidly. Just because something doesn't exist doesn't mean that you can be stupidly unrealistic when you decide to put it in your movie.

I was actually considering seeing this! thanks for helping me not waste my money.

Right on MovieBob. We don't agree on everything, but your pretty much right on this one.

My only disagreement is the "Twins". You called them "racist" and I do think you are wrong on that. There are ignorant stupid douchebags that talk, act, and look like that and color really isn't the issue. I've had the misfortune to see people white, black, hispanic, and asian act like those mumbling morons, with pants barely covering their ass. It does irritate me to know end that they felt they had to portray the twins like that to appeal to anyone. Anyone with half a brain found them more irritating the Jar Jar Binks X 10,000.

That kind of culture isn't funny or cool. I don't believe in "censoring" things but gloifying douchebag culture isn't helping us as a society. AND NO, I'm not a RACIST for making these statements (ala Yahtzee in his "50 Cent" Review). You should never treat anyone different b/c of skin color or national origin because it's wrong and ignorant, but hating someone because they act like a tosser is just fine!

PurpleRain:

Lightbunny:

PurpleRain:
But you wouldn't expect more.

Ugh, no. Fuck you. Fuck you sideways.

People like you are the reason everything sucks now. You would spend $20 to watch a mountain of elephant shit burn for 3 and a half hours if popular opinion said you had to. And if anyone questioned its merits? "Oh, well what else would you expect from a flaming mountain of elephant shit?"

I would try to convince you, and others like you, to stop doing this. To start expecting, nay, DEMANDING MORE from filmmakers/writers/game designers, and complain 'til you're blue in the face when someone just shits out something barely passable (especially with a budget like TF2 had). But whatever. You can't handle criticism of a film, let alone yourself.

Keep celebrating mediocrity, you twats.

Fuck me? Allllrighty there. I don't know what brought that on. It seems you're quite fanatical about hating this movie.

Can you justify any of your points you have made?

And twat? Please. I think I know a tad more about the film biz then you having gone to a film and television college. How is it mediocre? I mean, the CGI work behind it was brilliant. So many shots were crafted so perfectly it would have taken them a while to set up and imagine those.
God, the movie was amazing to sit down and have fun with. Not every movie has to be a European arthouse film. Hollywood can get away with this and make bucket loads of money off of it because they are designed to ENTERTAIN!

I even found the directing to be quite good throughout. The camera framing was great and the lighting was quite bland for Hollywood yet still maintanted that quility. I only found it let down with some actors *coughMeganFoxcough* and the editing. Gah!

Directors have already such a demand, and you know what Micheal Bay is actually a BRILLIANT action director. Sure, he can only do action, yet he does it well.

So if you have a problem with the director himself, the editor or the script, please, take it out on them. Don't call things elephant shit when they have a lot of merit backing them, and don't insult me because you have a different view point then my own.

I do respect your opinion as a "expert", and understand there are a lot of douche bags on Earth that want everything there way. (Fans are clingy complaining dipshits that won't ever be happy for any concession you make - Yahtzee)

But, as someone that isn't a "Transformers" fanboy, but an action movie fan (you know the one that movie producers are suppose to make these products for) there are a lot of problems with the way Bay does things.

-The CGI does look very nice, but the camera movement, along with the bad designs of the robots made the action sequences hard to follow, (my friend actually got motion sickness during a scene)

-The story was disjointed and kinda boring. I came to see good kick ass alien transforming robots beating up evil kick ass alien transforming robots, not extremely uncomfortable family awkwardness, a selfish prick as the main hero (until the very end), a completely unlikable added character (the roommate who is so forgettable I don't remember his name) Devastator's scrotum, and the loser "Twins" showing the lowest common denominator of human society.

-The robot designs were HORRIBLE.

It wasn't the "Worst" movie ever, but it could have been a WHOLE lot better. Bay has disappointed me for the last time.

Anyone know how we can get Michael Bay, Joel Schumacher, and Uwe Boll into a small plane together?

I don't like critics too much. They try to suck the fun out of all TV shows, games, and movies. Some people forget movies are about enjoyment and not about searching for flaws. Sure, the Transformers movies have not been perfect. No movie ever has, but is it seriously that bad?

I don't like the argument about humans being involved in the story. The point some people made earlier is that humans being involved creates sympathy. If the Autobots and Decepticons duked it out on planet Cybertron, i honestly would have no sympathy for either side, or the fate of the planet. It would be like me, an American, watching a soccer game between Manchester United and Arsenal. Endangering human lives, and having the fate of planet Earth up in the air gives us the ability to side with the Autobots, care which side wins, and create a clear good and bad guy.

Also, would no one argue that the 2010 Corvette Stingray Concept was the sickest car in the movie? lol

SOUNDWAVE IS A FUCKING SATELLITE!!

WTF! Soundwave was the best character in the original series, He had the best voice, personally he looked the best and he turned into a fucking Boombox.
The fact they got rid of the scale-changing thing annoyed me the most. Megatron is suppost to be a fucking GUN, not a total retarded looking jet.

I don't know which is more awesome, this review or the fact that I got a refund on my ticket money. Considering I had to spend money and watch the movie before getting the money back, I'd say this review. More more more more MORE! There are so many flicks coming out this summer and I want to see you tear into ALL OF THEM! Not just the stinkers, I'm enjoying both your negative and positive reviews! I only wish I was getting them WEEKLY!

Brockyman:
I do respect your opinion as a "expert", and understand there are a lot of douche bags on Earth that want everything there way. (Fans are clingy complaining dipshits that won't ever be happy for any concession you make - Yahtzee)

But, as someone that isn't a "Transformers" fanboy, but an action movie fan (you know the one that movie producers are suppose to make these products for) there are a lot of problems with the way Bay does things.

-The CGI does look very nice, but the camera movement, along with the bad designs of the robots made the action sequences hard to follow, (my friend actually got motion sickness during a scene)

-The story was disjointed and kinda boring. I came to see good kick ass alien transforming robots beating up evil kick ass alien transforming robots, not extremely uncomfortable family awkwardness, a selfish prick as the main hero (until the very end), a completely unlikable added character (the roommate who is so forgettable I don't remember his name) Devastator's scrotum, and the loser "Twins" showing the lowest common denominator of human society.

-The robot designs were HORRIBLE.

It wasn't the "Worst" movie ever, but it could have been a WHOLE lot better. Bay has disappointed me for the last time.

-The jerky camera movements were quite annoying, though I loved the framing. I enjoy seeing someone die just off screen making you think 'wait... did that guy just die?'
Though the editing kept cutting so fast, pared with the above jerky movements were off putting.

-Storyline I expected. Watching the first it was the awkward boy comedy cutting the action. So I wouldn't imagine Bay to change the style that worked for him. Though the 'Why do you never say the L word,' got annoying quick.
Oh god, the 360 shot at the start was most likely the worst shot in the movie.

-I liked the robot design. The cat thing, Soundwave, the sword one, etc, they were all really cool. I dug it. Some of the more generic ones were ugly as all sin, but were broken appropriatly by the cool looking ones.

It could have been a massive amount better, and I think everyone can point out that, but I feel like I'm the only one enjoying the update. To call me an anti-Transformers fan for this would be wrong. Optimus Prime's death in the original movie was the first death experience I had. I was scared of the movie for a while. Opptttiiimmmmuuuuuusss!!!

I enjoyed it, whilst the mantra "its a kids movie" hummed through my head...

That said, the racist sterotypes, dog fornication, pot brownies and mother who couldn't stop swearing left me feeling a rather dirty and worried...

It seems to me this MovieBob guy is basically just trying to capitalise on Yahtzees idea of talking fast,giving strong arrogant opinions and using crazy metaphors.Unfortunately he hasn't quite caught on to the fact that his solely insulting take here gives the impression that he has no idea what hes talking about and makes him look like a massive douche.
For an example see this: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/awful_man_offers_witty_acerbic?utm_source=most_pop_dugg

Dude,moviebob...time you realised that yelling angrily at something gives you about as much credibility as some crazy hobo who does that all day long...leave it to yahtzee man

Only thing I wanted to say is anybody that thinks that I cannot relate to giant robots is an idiot, because I have related to toys, deers, lions, mice and rats, ducks and so on.

I expected as much from movieBob. Who just like Michael Bay is talentless hack. You go into a review with your preconceived notions and shit stained glasses about everything. Nostalgia is a lying bitch. The original Transformers sucked as a show, get over it. And just because you cried in your mama's arms one Optimus died in the 86 movie, that doesn't mean that anything from back then was magically better than what it is now. People who don't have their sphincters shut so tight about their childhood are going to go see the movie and enjoy it. They don't give a shit about where the source material comes from, they're paying 20 bucks to be entertained. It's people like you who ruin it for the rest of us who want to have a good time. I wanted to see Transformers because I wanted to see giant robots beating the crap out of each other. That's what I got. And the transformers were in their own movie a lot longer than just a quarter of the time. If you managed to pull your head from out of your own ass you'd also see that they were interwoven through almost every part of the movie. Get the fuck over yourself please. Until you can walk into a movie without some preconceived nerd rage bullshit, nobody is going to take your opinion seriously and you'll just make yourself look like all the the other hacks you attempt to bash.

"Waah, the Matrix of Leadership isn't a circle with handles"
"Waah, the Fallen isn't a flaming tank"
"Waah, my geek culure isn't geek enough for me"
That's all I hear out of you.

Find something new to complain about and find a new style to do it with, because talking fast and trying to nerd rage over nothing doesn't make you unique.

SuperMse:
I get more and more pissed everytime I see the new Starscream. Wtf makes Micheal Bay think that a giant, contrived, utterly asinine fucking triangle of a robot is better than this?:
image
...and I honestly think that that pretty much sums up the movie.

Because looking at it objectively, that design is a piece of shit. If you tried giving that into somebody at a studio nowadays you'd be laughed out of the office.

The best term I've heard used to describe the movie robot designs is 'Junk Yard Throw-Up'!, it really does fit.

Whilst the movies themselves were just your regular, run of the mill throw-up.

There was a perfect halfway measure when it came to the new designs (ramped up, techy version of the cartoon) but Bay doesn't know shit from shinola so what you gonna do? :(

I was wondering about that myself: why did they feel the need to give the robots an "organic" feel? Anyway, thanks for the heads up. I *might* see this with the MST3K Mantra in mind.

The movie was ok. And Movie bob tries too much to be Yahtzee. Although, I do agree with some of his points.
But, whether you enjoy the movie or not was a matter of how you approach it. If you're expecting a live action remake of the old Transformers then it fails as such, just as the first movie. You have to take into account two facts:
- It's a Michael Bay movie.
- It's a summer movie.
Then it may be enjoyable.
Yes, I didn't like some things he did, yes I didn't like that the Transformers were more of a background (the biggest flaw imo), and so on... I liked the first movie more. But still I enjoyed the second one.

Oh, and one more thing. About expectations. Yes, I agree that we should expect more. But keep in mind that in most cases the creators of movies/games/whatever don't give a shit about your rants on forums. They make stuff for the mainstream audience and that audience buys it. Is it such a sin to expect more but still enjoy a not so ambitious movie if it's there? Call me a conformist, but protesting and ranting won't change much in this case. From the beginning of cinema there were movies that were bad but fun and those that were good and ambitious. As in a joke: "The sum of all IQs in the world is constant. The population count rises." we should get used to this trend to address the wide, non-expecting audience and not only the hardcore fans.

SOMEONE FINALLY GETS IT.

Thank you, MovieBob, someone finally understands what the fuck is wrong with Michael Bay and his non-movie-making. Seriously, how can someone fuck up a Transformers movie? Just have the Transformers beating the hexidecimal code out of each others' memory banks, climaxing with Optimus Prime and Megatron in a battle to shake the ages. But no, we need humans in it. WE DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING HUMAN PLOTLINES IN A TRANSFORMERS MOVIE. I already gave this the Giganto-Stamp-O-Shit, and you just validated it.

PS: On the crucifying Michael Bay thing, you're too fucking nice.

Well I quite enjoyed it, I wasn't expecting high art.

I was expecting large robots beating the shit out of each other, I got that.

My only query is did Jetfire have a Britsh accent in the American version of the film? I hate it when they put a British accent in the middle of all those American voices it really pulls me out of the film.

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