Zero Punctuation: The Sims 3

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Here we go again.

Sims normal-boring-life.

Did we really need this?

Played Sims 1, when it was released, to see what all the fuss was about.
Quickly got bored, cheated, and bought all the best stuff. It was still boring!

I agree with Yahtzee. Can't see the appeal of the game... other than finding all possible ways of killing the inhabitants. Ditto about the "touch of a woman" thing, too

Is Yahtzee still getting over a cold? He seemed to talk slower and deeper in this review, as if trying to hide...something. It's still a good review, but the review sounded angrier then his voice did, so it didnt seem to match up in my book.

Also, to point out his own words, if he has a vagina and is not gay, then he likes...oh nevermind im just speculating :x

Verbera:

Grahav:
To the people who were offended by the misoginy presented in the review, don't take it personal. He is compromised in offending everyone.

Really? How so?

I take it you miss the self parody in the whole Machismo mockery that happens in any game with too much testosterone for logical thought? See Gears of War or any war game he reviews. Least women get to be evil, men are basically described as warrior wannabes, which I find to be a bit sadder...

TheEnglishman:

CaptainCalvin:
Anyone else getting a little disturbed by his jokes and attitude lately?

I get the bad feeling that poor ol' yahtzee's either running out of jokes or going through some emotional turmoil. Hell it may even be both.

I've been feeling that as well. I want to feel concerned but I only hear the guy 5 minutes a week and having seen some of his reviews it's hard to really tell when Yahtzee is angrier than normal.

arr, indeed.

Yahtzee's probably one of the few people I've seen on the internet that I'd actually like to meet, I feel like there is so much we could talk about but i can't help but worry that his obligation to play and review so many games may has taken a toll on his mind and reduced him into a wrinkly mass of dried up personality and spent bile (if that makes any sense).

Is it me, or does awareness of the underlying evil of the Sims 3 make it seem more interesting to play than it actually is?

Rajin Cajun:
I am glad to see the women bashing. In my quite humble opinion there isn't enough women bashing...ever.

I don't think women need bashing, men just need to think more. Myself included...

there I put my two cents in on that topic, and that's all i'm gonna say so don't quote me.

I LOLD so hard my roommate woke up from hysterical snort laughing.
and as always lots of salient points about the game and life in general. If I take up being a vigilante, I shall first target EA because truly they are the source of all the evil and wrong in the Megaverse.

CaptainCalvin:

TheEnglishman:

CaptainCalvin:
Anyone else getting a little disturbed by his jokes and attitude lately?

I get the bad feeling that poor ol' yahtzee's either running out of jokes or going through some emotional turmoil. Hell it may even be both.

I've been feeling that as well. I want to feel concerned but I only hear the guy 5 minutes a week and having seen some of his reviews it's hard to really tell when Yahtzee is angrier than normal.

arr, indeed.

Yahtzee's probably one of the few people I've seen on the internet that I'd actually like to meet, I feel like there is so much we could talk about but i can't help but worry that his obligation to play and review so many games may has taken a toll on his mind and reduced him into a wrinkly mass of dried up personality and spent bile (if that makes any sense).

Oh yes, poor Yahtzee get paid to play video games. If only we were all so unlucky.

Verbera:

Grahav:
To the people who were offended by the misoginy presented in the review, don't take it personal. He is compromised in offending everyone.

Really? How so?

Well... Before this review he already stated that people are shit. Each person is shit in their unique way, like shitflakes.

And if the game is evil and women make a major part of the people who play it, they are the victims of evil not their source.

Darknacht:

CaptainCalvin:

TheEnglishman:

CaptainCalvin:
Anyone else getting a little disturbed by his jokes and attitude lately?

I get the bad feeling that poor ol' yahtzee's either running out of jokes or going through some emotional turmoil. Hell it may even be both.

I've been feeling that as well. I want to feel concerned but I only hear the guy 5 minutes a week and having seen some of his reviews it's hard to really tell when Yahtzee is angrier than normal.

arr, indeed.

Yahtzee's probably one of the few people I've seen on the internet that I'd actually like to meet, I feel like there is so much we could talk about but i can't help but worry that his obligation to play and review so many games may has taken a toll on his mind and reduced him into a wrinkly mass of dried up personality and spent bile (if that makes any sense).

Oh yes, poor Yahtzee get paid to play video games. If only we were all so unlucky.

Well, when your hobby becomes work and thus you are forced to do aspects of your hobby that you usually avoid because you are now obligated... Even candy becomes unpleasant if you are forced to eat more than you like.

I would love to game for a living but I also realize that I would inevitably learn to hate it because I wouldn't be choosing my games so much as demand would choose my games. Having my recreation reduced to a homework assignment on topics I despise would only earn my bile in the end.

CaptainCalvin:

Rajin Cajun:
I am glad to see the women bashing. In my quite humble opinion there isn't enough women bashing...ever.

I don't think women need bashing, men just need to think more. Myself included...

there I put my two cents in on that topic, and that's all i'm gonna say so don't quote me.

I'm quoting you because you told me not to. What are you going to do about that? Nothing thats right. Back in the corner slave! Next man I see defending women in this thread gets gutted. Yarr!

/Dons Eyepatch

Same. When you look at Yatzee on his first YouTube video and on his recent one's, there is a distinct difference from "gamers can be really stupid sometimes" to "Gamers are evil and only contribute to teh world sucking more so!".

But yeah, I'd love to meet Yahtzee.

Edit: Dang, forgot to quote my previous conversation. Well I meant to.

EA evil??? Yeah, your right, time to sacrifice a goat and hope for good games this year.

I've only ever played the first Sims game...I heard they got "smarter" (meaning a bit harder to kill) but alright haha

Rajin Cajun:

CaptainCalvin:

Rajin Cajun:
I am glad to see the women bashing. In my quite humble opinion there isn't enough women bashing...ever.

I don't think women need bashing, men just need to think more. Myself included...

there I put my two cents in on that topic, and that's all i'm gonna say so don't quote me.

I'm quoting you because you told me not to. What are you going to do about that? Nothing thats right. Back in the corner slave! Next man I see defending women in this thread gets gutted. Yarr!

/Dons Eyepatch

I find that everybody needs a good bashing, thus I am technically defending women. Now that you've been proven impotent at gutting me, what now?

Good vid, as always.

DeathWyrmNexus:
I take it you miss the self parody in the whole Machismo mockery that happens in any game with too much testosterone for logical thought? See Gears of War or any war game he reviews. Least women get to be evil, men are basically described as warrior wannabes, which I find to be a bit sadder...

At least they didn't get those disturbing Freudian undertones, though. It's probably the spending too much time with Freudian psychologists who actually believe in that shit that makes me reject this as successful humour. I do get the self-parody, but that's probably because it's closer to home and easier to spot. This sounded more like someone failing at a joke, really, rather than parody.

I understand why the actual game of The Sims 3 wasn't reviewed, because they haven't bloody changed anything except the numbers. All are basically the same, boring, monotonous dirge released every 5 years to keep the zombie hoards at bay. If you review one Sims game you've basically reviewed them all. Don't get me wrong, they're fun. For all of 10 minutes. I remember a time when I owned the PS2 games AND THOUGHT THEY WERE GOOD. On reflection I'd much rather forget about them.

And yet, The Sims 3 interests me. Call me a hypocrite but weirdly it does. I need psychiactric help.

Now to sit back and watch the hate mail roll in.

Congrats, Yahtzee. The misogynistic comments stated in previous videos have come back, metamorphosing you into a true generalizing c*nt. Unfortunately, you still are very entertaining, you dick.

DeathWyrmNexus:

Rajin Cajun:

CaptainCalvin:

Rajin Cajun:
I am glad to see the women bashing. In my quite humble opinion there isn't enough women bashing...ever.

I don't think women need bashing, men just need to think more. Myself included...

there I put my two cents in on that topic, and that's all i'm gonna say so don't quote me.

I'm quoting you because you told me not to. What are you going to do about that? Nothing thats right. Back in the corner slave! Next man I see defending women in this thread gets gutted. Yarr!

/Dons Eyepatch

I find that everybody needs a good bashing, thus I am technically defending women. Now that you've been proven impotent at gutting me, what now?

I cry.

Verbera:

DeathWyrmNexus:
I take it you miss the self parody in the whole Machismo mockery that happens in any game with too much testosterone for logical thought? See Gears of War or any war game he reviews. Least women get to be evil, men are basically described as warrior wannabes, which I find to be a bit sadder...

At least they didn't get those disturbing Freudian undertones, though. It's probably the spending too much time with Freudian psychologists who actually believe in that shit that makes me reject this as successful humour. I do get the self-parody, but that's probably because it's closer to home and easier to spot. This sounded more like someone failing at a joke, really, rather than parody.

Or rather that you just couldn't laugh at it, which might be more your problem than his. I laughed, my fiancee' laughed, a load of other people laughed.

Doesn't seem like his failure, it just wasn't up your alley. As for Freudian, how is Guns balanced on their giant erections Not parody? I find it disturbing that my sexuality as an American is defined as Yay Wor! and my prick being replaced with a bullet spewing death machine. Disturbing to be sure, at least to me, but I still laughed. After all, comedy tends to be about the exaggeration and not taking things personally.

So I'm sorry that you are offended at the vague notion that your vagina is a Venus Fly Trap but I am busy reliving my glory days of WW2 with a minigun penis... :/ Now I just need a eye rolling smiley. So I am sorry you don't find it funny but I don't know what to tell you.

Darknacht:

CaptainCalvin:
arr, indeed.

Yahtzee's probably one of the few people I've seen on the internet that I'd actually like to meet, I feel like there is so much we could talk about but i can't help but worry that his obligation to play and review so many games may has taken a toll on his mind and reduced him into a wrinkly mass of dried up personality and spent bile (if that makes any sense).

Oh yes, poor Yahtzee get paid to play video games. If only we were all so unlucky.

The sentiment I got there wasn't so much pity for Yahtzee as it was that of a young self-important suckup hoping to attach himself, lamprey-like, to what he has identified as a solid mark.

Rajin Cajun:

DeathWyrmNexus:

Rajin Cajun:

CaptainCalvin:

Rajin Cajun:
I am glad to see the women bashing. In my quite humble opinion there isn't enough women bashing...ever.

I don't think women need bashing, men just need to think more. Myself included...

there I put my two cents in on that topic, and that's all i'm gonna say so don't quote me.

I'm quoting you because you told me not to. What are you going to do about that? Nothing thats right. Back in the corner slave! Next man I see defending women in this thread gets gutted. Yarr!

/Dons Eyepatch

I find that everybody needs a good bashing, thus I am technically defending women. Now that you've been proven impotent at gutting me, what now?

I cry.

It's okay, there is always a violent video game to vent your frustrations into. GTA: San Andreas was instrumental in keeping me from a killing spree when I had to work at Burger King for a year... *shudder but reassuringly manly pat on the back while giving you ammo*

DeathWyrmNexus:
So I'm sorry that you are offended at the vague notion that your vagina is a Venus Fly Trap but I am busy reliving my glory days of WW2 with a minigun penis... :/ Now I just need a eye rolling smiley. So I am sorry you don't find it funny but I don't know what to tell you.

My vagina? Is there something I should know....?

Verbera:

DeathWyrmNexus:
So I'm sorry that you are offended at the vague notion that your vagina is a Venus Fly Trap but I am busy reliving my glory days of WW2 with a minigun penis... :/ Now I just need a eye rolling smiley. So I am sorry you don't find it funny but I don't know what to tell you.

My vagina? Is there something I should know....?

Apologies, I assumed you had actually watched the video to its conclusion... o_O

DeathWyrmNexus:
Apologies, I assumed you had actually watched the video to its conclusion... o_O

Sorry, having a slow day - I assumed you were implying I am female. My screen name is slightly confusing, it would make sense.

Another great review BD

Verbera:

DeathWyrmNexus:
Apologies, I assumed you had actually watched the video to its conclusion... o_O

Sorry, having a slow day - I assumed you were implying I am female. My screen name is slightly confusing, it would make sense.

Worry not, I was, though that makes your argument against this all a bit more disturbing as you said you took it personally (well closer to home which is essentially the same thing)...

I am almost afraid of walking into a TMI moment by asking how it could be Closer to Home without you being a woman? Actually, no, I will retract that question. The possible answer just gets more and more into my realm of not wanting to know as I ponder possibilities.

So my apologies and I will just go about leaving you alone now.

Nice one, but you did get a bit off topic from the game and had to talk about EA. Still great as always.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In playing the sims, you come to realize:

You are not playing as a sim.

You are not playing as their house.

You are not granted even the tiny joy of claiming to play as their invisible, benevolent care-taker.

You are playing, my friends, as the Essence Of Tedium. As the tendency for patterns to assert themselves. As inevitability.

Plain and simple:
You are The Matrix.

I considered the ending to be the funniest part of the whole video.
I'm glad that Yahtzee was stuck reviewing this BWAHAHAH.
Sorry about your Vaginitus Yahtzee.
(That was a South Park reference)

teknoarcanist:
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In playing the sims, you come to realize:

You are not playing as a sim.

You are not playing as their house.

You are not granted even the tiny joy of claiming to play as their invisible, benevolent care-taker.

You are playing, my friends, as the Essence Of Tedium. As the tendency for patterns to assert themselves. As inevitability.

Plain and simple:
You are The Matrix.

Great, now I want to get the game and demand a Matrix mod so I can send agents and Squiddies after my Sims and see a Neo Sim have more personality than the real thing.

If I had the money, I would do this and you can bet your freeze dried and fruit flavored soul that I would bleat on and on like a bellicose walrus with erectile dysfunction until I had the damn Matrix Mod so I could sit importantly at my computer and chant about how I am Colonel Sanders and they will bloody buy my damn Chicken because the Matrix Has Them!!!

I feel the same way about The Sims: Evil.

Sims 3 is indeed made of what my internal bits are currently producing.

(In other news, your review was ironic that way, damn you)

I use Sims 2 as modding practice. It is a very elaborate system of paper dolls that I decorate and then set up in houses and walk off, coming back later to see what chaos they have caused. I also hand-make the dolls, their bits, etc. Much replayability when you're pretty well doing just editing.

You can do absolutely none of that in Sims 3. Jerks.

Aww... I was hoping for the results of the prototype vs infamous contest :)
Still, entertaining review as always.

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