The Escapist Presents: Nerf Wars: The Battle for Themis

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Nerf Wars: The Battle for Themis

In the sixth month of the year 2009 an epic battle took place...

Watch Video

Yay George Orwell

also, can I get a job with you guys?

This was completely pointless and a waste of time and that is why it was awesome.

How many Vulcans were there, by the way? Those things are awesome.

Bumping so others can see the awesome

Your job is awesome. And yes that had to be the longest, yet most entertaining escort quest ever.

That looks like it was a fun game.

I love it when a plan comes together. Especially if that plan is a rush, or one of mine.

Impressive, or something.

Hilarious. I'm sad I missed it, but I'm glad my gun was put to good use :P

Should have labeled the people who were speaking so we knew who we were listening to.

absolutely awesome, we should see more of this its sick :P perhaps regular? im sure everyone including making it would enjoy that.

awesome, i would love to see what happened if it was airsoft or paintball guns

Best Friday ever.

Except for the pants thing.

Ok, a few things that might not have been immediately obvious from the video:

The object of the game was to escort the CEO back to your team's base, but the CEO could only move at a slow walk. (Slowest escort mission EVAR.) Teams rotated bases each round to give everyone a fair shot. If you got hit with a nerf bullet, you were dead until your team's medic ran over and revived you. (The editorial/video team won the best of three rounds, by the way. More equal than otherrrrssssss.[/singsong voice])

For the finale, the MVP from each team squared off against each other in a slaughterfest free for all....that took about five seconds once that behemoth of a Nerf gun came out. :)

Yeah, we pretty much work at the best company ever.

I thought it would have been brilliant if the big guy at the end with the automatic nerf blaster did a TF2 Heavy Weapons Guy 'hahahahaha cry some more' spraying Nerfs around the room!

Man... I wanna hang out with you guys.

The dead body bit at the end was hilarious.

Actually, the whole thing was hilarious.

I wanna buy a Nerf gun right now...

Insane just insane and hilariously fun!

Anyone else think that Jeff looked like a heavy?

Susan Arendt:
More equal than otherrrrssssss.[/singsong voice]

Singsong voice?
Or Smeagol voice? (my precioussssss)

More on topic, how awesome is that? The best my old jobs ever did was Ultimate Frisbee competitions!
But Nerf Wars?? I'm truly jealous. I can only assume that the short video does little justice to how fun it actually was. So here is what I'm thinking: Shell out a few hundred dollars, fly me down there, and do it all over again.
Sound like a plan?

...

A Tea can dream...

The height of summer is upon us, I think this calls for a rematch with super soakers. My personal favourite is the Helix, handles like a water shotgun. To add some visual flair/sense of danger to personal property you could load the water with some dyes. Just don't drink the water.

Given the competitive nature of gamers you haven't brought the entire company together but created 3 tight knit teams that will forever vie to out do one another. Just get them to compete on content and features for the site so they don't end up slitting each other's throats in the night.

Baby Tea:

Susan Arendt:
More equal than otherrrrssssss.[/singsong voice]

Singsong voice?
Or Smeagol voice? (my precioussssss)

More on topic, how awesome is that? The best my old jobs ever did was Ultimate Frisbee competitions!
But Nerf Wars?? I'm truly jealous. I can only assume that the short video does little justice to how fun it actually was. So here is what I'm thinking: Shell out a few hundred dollars, fly me down there, and do it all over again.
Sound like a plan?

...

A Tea can dream...

I think a Danny-Tea combo would be about five times better.

Well...that was special.

I would have been yelling a lot more TF2 references though. And would have worn the nerf katana on my back, Halo-style.

Still, I am envious. Except for whoever tore their pants. That's totally pants. (*fail*)

Wow, can I have a job?
Loved the Heavy thing at the end, and the body outline.

Danny Ocean:

Baby Tea:

Susan Arendt:
More equal than otherrrrssssss.[/singsong voice]

Singsong voice?
Or Smeagol voice? (my precioussssss)

More on topic, how awesome is that? The best my old jobs ever did was Ultimate Frisbee competitions!
But Nerf Wars?? I'm truly jealous. I can only assume that the short video does little justice to how fun it actually was. So here is what I'm thinking: Shell out a few hundred dollars, fly me down there, and do it all over again.
Sound like a plan?

...

A Tea can dream...

I think a Danny-Tea combo would be about five times better.

Frankly, I think the staff and a bunch of community members would be a lot of fun.

Fightgarr:

Danny Ocean:

Baby Tea:

Susan Arendt:
More equal than otherrrrssssss.[/singsong voice]

Singsong voice?
Or Smeagol voice? (my precioussssss)

More on topic, how awesome is that? The best my old jobs ever did was Ultimate Frisbee competitions!
But Nerf Wars?? I'm truly jealous. I can only assume that the short video does little justice to how fun it actually was. So here is what I'm thinking: Shell out a few hundred dollars, fly me down there, and do it all over again.
Sound like a plan?

...

A Tea can dream...

I think a Danny-Tea combo would be about five times better.

Frankly, I think the staff and a bunch of community members would be a lot of
fun.

Staff Vs. Community! Yes! Brilliant! This must be done! By the power of greyskull!

If not in real life, then at least in an MMOFPS or something!

Danny Ocean:
Staff Vs. Community! Yes! Brilliant! This must be done! By the power of greyskull!

If not in real life, then at least in an MMOFPS or something!

Something obscure or old, just to make it more hilarious!
Like a Doom 1 deathmatch!
Or Descent Coop Speed Runs!

Oh my, how crazy awesome and retro would that be?
Really, I just want a reason to play Descent again.

Baby Tea:

Danny Ocean:
Staff Vs. Community! Yes! Brilliant! This must be done! By the power of greyskull!

If not in real life, then at least in an MMOFPS or something!

Something obscure or old, just to make it more hilarious!
Like a Doom 1 deathmatch!
Or Descent Coop Speed Runs!

Oh my, how crazy awesome and retro would that be?
Really, I just want a reason to play Descent again.

I'm just looking for a reason to play BattleField 2 again. Sigh.

Baby Tea:

Danny Ocean:
Staff Vs. Community! Yes! Brilliant! This must be done! By the power of greyskull!

If not in real life, then at least in an MMOFPS or something!

Something obscure or old, just to make it more hilarious!
Like a Doom 1 deathmatch!
Or Descent Coop Speed Runs!

Oh my, how crazy awesome and retro would that be?
Really, I just want a reason to play Descent again.

Well they did kinda do that a few months back with Planetside and while I didn't get to compete, it looked pretty damm fun, especially since BoingBoing and RockPaperShotgun (the other sites we competed against) caved easily under the combined might of the Escapist, and then blamed it on the game being suxorz. Hopefully, the staff has an TF2 Team left over from the tournament so you can play against them anyways.

Danny Ocean:
Anyone else think that Jeff looked like a heavy?

Jeff always makes me think of Vince Vaughn personally.

I was expecting a Kaboom at the end, or a "My Fists are made of Steel!"
But that explains why the 4 year aniversery issue seemed more revered, more.........holey.

That was simply awsome.

Plus the fact that the song "Holy Diver" by Dio was used in the video, which automatically makes it twice as awsome.

Aw man. Awesome. Why am I remote freelancer again?

Well now I need to buy a ton of nerf guns and do this with my friends... but first I need to get friends *sniff*

You guys have the best office evar.

Whoever brought in the vulcan (minigun) is fucking awesome. More companies need to do cool stuff like this.

OK, this is totally happening (again) the next time I have a bunch of friends in the same place. I wonder how much a collection like that would cost...probably in the thousands of dollars. Whatever, it'd be worth it!

Oh, and I would have pwned (yes, it deserves the p) at that. My friends call me Deadeye McInvisible when I've got the revolver and pump-action.

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