Zero Punctuation: Wii Sports Resort

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tobyornottoby:

Manji187:
The industry should employ Yahtzee...AND LISTEN TO HIM. Certainly would improve the quality.

improves the quality and the bankruptcy. wii is a huge succes. Financially. In the multimillion business that games are these days, it's hard to be just about "let's make awesome games"

I agree... and I find this fact very sad.

Funny how in other reviews I never thought about Wii air sports was out of place until I saw this...

But still I will probably get this game anyway because playing with friends makes any game more fun.

Also I want a game that is designed to work with the Wii motion controls and I've heard the the Wii sports family does this the best, and say what you like about the Wii, the controls are still the best motion-sensitive ones out (that's right Microsoft and Sony, announcements are not actual products until they're released).

It was good this week,

Ive had a look through the posts and I know a few people have speculated but why exactly were the first 6 people put on probation for their posts? Some of them even commented about a specific joke so its not like they posted before they saw the video

Lol'd at controller made of fruit

Brilliant review. The last couple have been a bit drier than usual but he seems to be back on form this week! And who doesn't love a bit of Wii bashing. The only thing I ever liked was Warioware when I was with about five other people and stonking drunk. Gets quite fun, then.

As the owner of a Wii (at my wife's insistence) I don't think I've laughed harder at one of ZP's reviews. Truly legendary stuff.

That said, the game looks excellent for the casual gamer (which my wife is) and as such, I'll definitely be buying it for her. It also looks like it will take her more time to master than the previous incarnation of Wii Sports, which will ultimately save me money on buying other games when she's done with it.

Has the possibility been raised that Yahtzee is just trolling? It's not like an email like that is unlikely, but in light of The Conduit not getting the scores everyone was hoping for, coupled with one of the easiest games this gen to abuse, I'm convinced he's done it just to mock anyone who takes his reviews seriously.

Not bad, although I always disagree with a few points. Anyways, how would a fruit controller be any better? Honestly? It'd just be cumbersome and you'd have to replace it with a fresh one every few days.

I think this one was just for pure comedy value. I laughed as soon as I saw what he was reviewing.

It was sad seeing the beginning of the video, as in every single ending of every single video you claim ignoring fans is the best way to go, now you claim something about restoring them.

Also It's laughable that some one decides to stop watching a critic just cause he does his job, although I'm not that kind of person to laugh at every sparkle of a review. Truth be told, these reviews either make me wish to obtain the game, or check out wikipedia to see that it isn't available on the PC, knowing why a game is bad is always good, cause you will play to find out what is good, with expectations of meeting bad, that is why I love reviews with all the colors of the game washed out and left with nothing chewy sour center of what seemed to be a game.

One more thing: Does any one even read these? The comments I mean. any one?

not the funniest by any means, but a completely true review of the wii. Yeah, it's got some fun games on it, but by and large those games lack the immersion and depth of the other consoles.

another brilliant review. but i must pose the question why rip on the wii all the time? i hate it as much as any casual gamer but u can give them a little credit for trying something different not forgetting that 'motion sensors' in gaming has been tried before but at least the wii has done it to a point were it has worked and made gaming accesible to a wider group of people.

. cant wait till next week's reveiw which im sure will yet again make me laugh as hard as i always do :)

"Who wants to be a fencer anyway? Bunch of hoity-toity twats with sives on their faces."

Singlehandedly the best line in any Yahtzee review. Next to Pants-on-Head Retarded :)

Bored Tomatoe:

Gerbykins:
OH MY GOODNESS, YOU HAVE OUTDOWN YOUR SELF THIS WEEK!
I Coulnd't stop laughing at the jokes, and the hilarity that was contained within this little yellow video from hell :D

I just don't know why you didn't get Wii Resort? I JUST PICKED UP THIS GAME FROM EBAY AND ITS GOD DAMN TERRIFIC!
The Wii motion plus, or the WMP as I like to call it xD is crazy accurate. And now I can play all my favourite games like
Links Archery training.

Anyhow, Piece out Yatzee man, I got a date with destiny. (Going to watch Lost on tv hehe :) cya )

I can't tell if this is advertising or schizophrenic fanboyism...

I fear itīs advertising, but I hope itīs just your regular fanboyism. But if this is an Nintendo-attempt to somehow sway our opinions... Then I fear that the forums have been tainted by bad PR solutions.

go to the gym Yahtzee!

ManStapler:
It was sad seeing the beginning of the video, as in every single ending of every single video you claim ignoring fans is the best way to go, now you claim something about restoring them.

Also It's laughable that some one decides to stop watching a critic just cause he does his job, although I'm not that kind of person to laugh at every sparkle of a review. Truth be told, these reviews either make me wish to obtain the game, or check out wikipedia to see that it isn't available on the PC, knowing why a game is bad is always good, cause you will play to find out what is good, with expectations of meeting bad, that is why I love reviews with all the colors of the game washed out and left with nothing chewy sour center of what seemed to be a game.

One more thing: Does any one even read these? The comments I mean. any one?

I do, and often reply, in hopes of someone returning the favor. Contrary to popular belief, I don't post to make my opinions known, I post to start debate or conversation.

You know, I started reading the first three pages of the abysmally lengthy comments, then realized I had to go through 10 pages worth of anti/fanboy comments, so I'm going to defenestrate that idea.

Thank you Yahtzee for wrapping up my day in Wii-bagging goodness. My family owns one, but I've only played it at the insistence of my mum, who's tried to get me to 'exercise' on it by playing wii sports. The only thing I bothered in there was bowling, because it was the least strenuous, and I knew how to get strikes every time...

Aside from that, Resort and the new Wii-PLUS! motion controller really strikes the 'meh' bell in my apathetic heart directed towards Wii games.

Ironically, Wii Bowling is the ONLY thing I've ever actually enjoyed using the motion controls for. Everything else I make use of a gamecube controller if I can.

Game seems pretty bland all in all as most people can see by the cover or a trailer, too bad there isn't any real games coming out for a bit =(

I always thought the Wii remote worked like a sensor stick with a angry cat on the end of it, not very good that is. I guess I have no room to talk, I don't own a Wii anymore. But I think Wii Sports Resort is just Nintendo milking as much money out of the idea that they can like Zelda or Mario

Yahtzee, ya did it again... :)

Do you people who criticize the Wii stop to realize how stupid you sound? It ISN'T NINTENDO'S FAULT most of the games on its console are crappy. Blame *game developers* for exploiting a popular console and creating cheap and easy games to make a buck. Not only that, but crappy games aren't unique to Wii...

Secondly, Nintendo's first-party (and second-party) games are awesome. If you don't like Zelda or Mario Galaxy or Smash Brothers or Donkey Kong or the upcoming Metroid 3 or Animal Crossing, then you simply don't like games period, or you prefer looking cool to actually having fun.

Thirdly, what's with this "Nintendo milking money with sequels" idea? Have you ever heard of:

Halo 1-3
Final Fantasy 1-12
GTA 1-4
Call of Duty 1-4
God of War 1-3
Gears of War 1-2
Doom 1-4
Mortal Kombat/Street Fighter 1-4
Tekken 1-6
Tomb Raider 1-9
Madden Every Year
Tony Hawk 1-Forever
Uncharted 1-2?

Yeah, how dare Nintendo release a sequel to Wii Sports... and how dare people get "suckered into" buying it and "fooled" into having fun...

BowieZ:
It ISN'T NINTENDO'S FAULT...

Uh, technically it is. Game developers make the games for the console, then Nintendo releases them. CLEARLY they are at fault for distributing varied quality video games that hold no interest for the more dedicated gamer society. As for a sequel to Wiisports, you might as well just turn off the console and jog vigorously around your block for a good half an hour, risking midnight stabs (if you're into midnight exercise), and it'd STILL be more fun than flicking your wrist at a TV.

Clearly, Nintendo is not intent on pleasing hardcore gamers such as Yahtzee (Yes, I'm a bit of a bootlicker. Quiet you). I mean, he even clearly stated that - though in a very convoluted and amusing fashion. So yes, it IS Nintendo's fault for not catering to the mature audiences as much as they are to the young family/'recreational' gamers.

Do you know that all those games and their sequels you just listed all have something to do with violence and at LEAST a decent amount of hand-eye coordination/button-mashing coherency? At least Microsoft and Playstation understand a little more of what their target audience wants, as opposed to Nintendo, who attempts to - and fails - to capture the attention of Microsoft and Playstation's target audience - namely, men/boys who want to do manly things like shooting things that squirt red stuff when riddled with holes you make, with as little effort as possible (and looking as little like a doofus as they can)

BowieZ:
Do you people who criticize the Wii stop to realize how stupid you sound? It ISN'T NINTENDO'S FAULT most of the games on its console are crappy. Blame *game developers* for exploiting a popular console and creating cheap and easy games to make a buck. Not only that, but crappy games aren't unique to Wii...

Secondly, Nintendo's first-party (and second-party) games are awesome. If you don't like Zelda or Mario Galaxy or Smash Brothers or Donkey Kong or the upcoming Metroid 3 or Animal Crossing, then you simply don't like games period, or you prefer looking cool to actually having fun.

Thirdly, what's with this "Nintendo milking money with sequels" idea? Have you ever heard of:

Halo 1-3
Final Fantasy 1-12
GTA 1-4
Call of Duty 1-4
God of War 1-3
Gears of War 1-2
Doom 1-4
Mortal Kombat/Street Fighter 1-4
Tekken 1-6
Tomb Raider 1-9
Madden Every Year
Tony Hawk 1-Forever
Uncharted 1-2?

Yeah, how dare Nintendo release a sequel to Wii Sports... and how dare people get "suckered into" buying it and "fooled" into having fun...

Let me start of by saying I competely agree with you with whole milking sequal stupidity talk.

However Nintendo have contributed a lot to their crappy shallow game collection. No I'm not talking about the Mii games so much but the Donkey Kong games, Links Crossbow Training, Warioware Smooth Moves, etc. They gave the company's the rights to make these awful games and then published it themselves. It's like they give these developers too much exposure, not letting others evolve into something awesome.

Now with the first party titles that you mentioned, well thats basically it except you probably can take off Donkey Kong, Metroid 3 and Animal Crossing since they really aren't what most people bought the Wii for. Also Mario Kart Wii is a downgrade of the great Mario Kart 64 and since HAL Labratory has dumbed-down the gameplay in Brawl, a lot of fans were very very disappointed with it.

You probably could add No More Hero's and Pikmin 2 to the Wii's best games but thats about it, they weren't really the main appeal. So yeah, there really isn't all that much I can call great but at least all the complaints have made Nintendo get to work on some more first party titles, hopefully they will turn out great.

Awesome review as always, although as a fencer I should probably be insulted... never mind, I'm sure that comment was directed towards all the stuck up foil and epee fencers...although I'm also sure that no one on this site will get that reference. Sabre ftw!

^ But your criticisms apply to Sony and Microsoft too... they all licence a lot of **** to be made, they all want to make a profit... but just because Nintendo's crappy games look "cartoony" while MS's look "hardcore" because of some nondescript grainy, bloody violent appearance, Nintendo cops the flak?

By the way, Nintendo has many more first-party franchises than MS or Sony, so I'm not sure what your point is unless you're blaming them for being so successful that people aren't interested in other titles... so what's the problem? Blame the masses for liking the status quo? Well Nintendo totally upended the status quo with the Wii controls -- whether you like it or not -- so you kinda need to give them some credit.

And Mario Kart Wii is awesome. I don't get what you can dislike about it... it has Bowser's Castle, DK's Jungle Parkway, Mario Raceway and Sherbet Land from N64 plus 16 new tracks... plus a whole lot of new stuff/characters/bikes/abilities/power-ups/online functionality/steering wheel?

Very funny again, and lol at all the first maggots, you deserve your ban :P

"Who wants to be a fencer?, a bunch of hoity twoity cunts with sives on their faces!" the best quote of the review(in my opinion). Though the wii bowling one comes second.

Funny review, even though I completely disagreed with it.

Seriously, anyone that thinks there's no strategy to the fencing game just sucks at it. It makes me wonder if the people who say that actually played against someone who knew what they were doing, or if they just went up against the computer/their 5 year old kid brother.

BowieZ:
^ But your criticisms apply to Sony and Microsoft too... they all licence a lot of **** to be made, they all want to make a profit... but just because Nintendo's crappy games look "cartoony" while MS's look "hardcore" because of some nondescript grainy, bloody violent appearance, Nintendo cops the flak?

By the way, Nintendo has many more first-party franchises than MS or Sony, so I'm not sure what your point is unless you're blaming them for being so successful that people aren't interested in other titles... so what's the problem? Blame the masses for liking the status quo? Well Nintendo totally upended the status quo with the Wii controls -- whether you like it or not -- so you kinda need to give them some credit.

And Mario Kart Wii is awesome. I don't get what you can dislike about it... it has Bowser's Castle, DK's Jungle Parkway, Mario Raceway and Sherbet Land from N64 plus 16 new tracks... plus a whole lot of new stuff/characters/bikes/abilities/power-ups/online functionality/steering wheel?

i smell a fanboy

BowieZ:
^ But your criticisms apply to Sony and Microsoft too... they all licence a lot of **** to be made, they all want to make a profit... but just because Nintendo's crappy games look "cartoony" while MS's look "hardcore" because of some nondescript grainy, bloody violent appearance, Nintendo cops the flak?

By the way, Nintendo has many more first-party franchises than MS or Sony, so I'm not sure what your point is unless you're blaming them for being so successful that people aren't interested in other titles... so what's the problem? Blame the masses for liking the status quo? Well Nintendo totally upended the status quo with the Wii controls -- whether you like it or not -- so you kinda need to give them some credit.

And Mario Kart Wii is awesome. I don't get what you can dislike about it... it has Bowser's Castle, DK's Jungle Parkway, Mario Raceway and Sherbet Land from N64 plus 16 new tracks... plus a whole lot of new stuff/characters/bikes/abilities/power-ups/online functionality/steering wheel?

Dude... All I heard was "Bla Bla Bla, Ilovemahwiilolz!!1!"

Anyway, good review yahtzee :) there were some real funny bits in there (like a controller made of fruit... seriously, BRILLIANT!)

runtheplacered:

Monshroud:

runtheplacered:

Monshroud:

Blanks:
As fun as listening to that review was, everyone knows Sony started the motion sensor stuff with that blasted eyetoy

That's funny, cause I thought Nintendo started it with the Power Glove back in the 80's before Sony had a console.

That's not funny. Because Nintendo didn't make the Power Glove. Mattel did. Also, it flopped, hard.

I stand corrected on who made the power glove, and re-reading I see how I mis-phrased my sentence, it should have said: "It started with the Power Glove for the NES". Don't know what it flopping has to do with it. . . Random trivial fact?

It is a fact, but it's not really trivial or random. Flopping means it was poorly implemented by Nintendo. Surely somebody should be acknowledged for being the first to implement something that was actually worth using, right? Well, that wouldn't be the Power glove according to its poor sales figure and poor reception.

If I invent the flying car but it's a horrible piece of crap and nobody would dare try to use it, then O.K., that's a random trivial fact. It seems like, I'd rather be the guy that actually innovates the flying car into something people can actually use and would want to purchase.

See this is where I think you are missing the point of the comments here. Blanks said that Sony started the motion thing with the Eyetoy, while it was more successful, they certainly didn't come up with the idea. That idea was tried on the Nintendo system years ago which was the only point I made. You are the one trying to show off how much time you spend on wikipedia by adding that it was a flop, like that is relevant to either of our comments. Just because someone tried something and it failed doesn't mean anything, they still did it first. Heck, it could be argued that the Eyetoy is not a motion controller as much as video recognition device. In that case the Nintendo system still wins for having the first motion controller and the first successful one.

I am dearly awaiting the fruit controller.

Funny review love every single one of them

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