Zero Punctuation: Wii Sports Resort

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I honestly haven't had much trouble with my Wii as far as motion controls (other than the pointer going berserk and aiming everywhere except where I wanted it to, but apparently sunlight can do that to the sensors...).

Yahtzee can say whatever he wants about the Wii. I like the Wii (kinda losing faith in it due to the lack of games that are actually GOOD, but w/e), but I still think his Wii reviews are fucking funny.

Some people like the Wii, some people don't. That's how the world works. If somebody made something that everybody liked, the universe would be ripped apart because something that's completely impossible actually happened.

WaffleGod:

BowieZ:
^ But your criticisms apply to Sony and Microsoft too... they all licence a lot of **** to be made, they all want to make a profit... but just because Nintendo's crappy games look "cartoony" while MS's look "hardcore" because of some nondescript grainy, bloody violent appearance, Nintendo cops the flak?

By the way, Nintendo has many more first-party franchises than MS or Sony, so I'm not sure what your point is unless you're blaming them for being so successful that people aren't interested in other titles... so what's the problem? Blame the masses for liking the status quo? Well Nintendo totally upended the status quo with the Wii controls -- whether you like it or not -- so you kinda need to give them some credit.

And Mario Kart Wii is awesome. I don't get what you can dislike about it... it has Bowser's Castle, DK's Jungle Parkway, Mario Raceway and Sherbet Land from N64 plus 16 new tracks... plus a whole lot of new stuff/characters/bikes/abilities/power-ups/online functionality/steering wheel?

Dude... All I heard was "Bla Bla Bla, Ilovemahwiilolz!!1!"

Keep blocking your ears to reasoned argumentation. You're impressing everyone.

It would appear that the less funny I find Yahtzee, the less I care about his opinion. Granted, it's his primary purpose to be a synical bastard, but now that he apparently avoids praising pretty much anything and everything, it's starting to feel like he doesn't like computer games full stop and I just can't relate.

I got Wii Sports Resort the other day (the first Wii game I've bothered getting in a long time) and think it's pretty good. The motion plus is definitely a step in the right drection and, contrary to the review, the sword-fighting is one of the best games. Tennis is way more technical than its predecessor, and golf is too. Bowling is... well, bowling is reviewed fairly. :)

What the Wii really needs is a decent light-saber game to utilise the new responsiveness...!!

I wonder: who here is laughing at the jokes, and who's laughing out of loyalty?

Sure, it was funny. Far from hilarious, though.

Before I get to my commentary on the review, which I thought was very amusing, I have something else to say. You see, I like to analyze things. For instance, I like to examine different types of people. For instance, I feel that it's very easy to tell the difference between a person who well and truly loves the Wii versus a person who is in denial.

A person who likes the Wii more often than not can admit a failing of said console but will still like said console. This person can also find jokes aimed at the Wii hilarious even if he or she may disagree.

Examples:
"Haha, even though I love the Wii I still found that really funny"
"While I disagree with what you say, Yahtzee, I still found some humor in your review"
"I don't agree with what you say but I respect your opinion"

The trickier creature is the one that deceives itself day in and day out. So insecure about the purchase/preference of the Wii that in order to convince him or herself, this person must lash out viciously at any criticism whether it is serious or not. They will use asinine retorts that go off topic or are simply outlandish in their attempts to justify their stance.

Examples:
"Omigawd Yahtzee, you're a stupid wii hater"
"at least the wii doesn't get red rings of death!!1!!!"
"You're stupid and I want you to know I'm never reading this ever again ever"
"what you say is bullocks, the wii is the greatest thing ever since sliced bread"

Which brings me to a pet peeve. If you're going to go, just go. Don't make a scene. You don't need to announce your departure from a community that you may have come to despise because, let's be honest, who is going to care? We're all just drops in a great big ocean. A handful of people isn't going to make a difference or matter. Especially if you weren't known from the beginning or a significant member of that community.

Anyway. I enjoyed this one and I agree to extent on the opinion over Nintendo. It does seem like the majority of their work is just milking the fan base and capitalizing on the gullibility and ignorance of the average consumer. They generally are sheep. Don't get me wrong, I grew up with Nintendo and love Nintendo, but I'm sick of some of the stuff they are putting out for the Wii. Well, most of it. I hope to god this is the last we see of minigame bundles. What about full fledged RPGS? If you're going to dedicate yourself to Sequels, leave Zelda and mario alone; bring more Metroid (although that's starting to be beaten to death, too) and something new or niche. What about Luminous Arc, for instance, or Radiant Sun? Or how about new franchises, geez.

Oops, my bad. That was kind of long.

theklng:

Vanguard_Ex:
Zero Punctuation is always uploaded at 5pm, idiot.

resorting to name calling. that really isn't mature (not that you have been mature up until this point either how).

You can't fail at being cocky, genius. I don't even need to argue this, because I'm not wrong. I'm just having to explain things to someone who should already know them. Don't you try to teach me a fucking lesson, the only idiot in this thing is you.

oh i love making claims based on my self-perceived judgment too! i mean, the world would be so much more technologically advanced if everyone just started claiming things without a REASON. the irony of this is that you call me an idiot.

another thing. what the fuck is it with people acting like they are the forum police? what makes you qualified to make a judgment whether a person gets put on probation? are you a mod? did someone ask you for your opinion? the answer to these questions in your case is no. so what is your stake in this? you think the mods will respect you more if you do? you think people will? nobody cares about whether you think a person deserves a suspension or probation; BECAUSE YOU CAN'T ISSUE IT.

as for the lesson: for someone who supposedly outsmarts me, you don't seem very clever. here's my advice: you can take it now or you can learn it the hard way a few years from now. or hell, with that attitude it might be sooner than that.

Hypocrisy, thy name is you. Albeit implied, you resorted to name-calling before I did.
You're making absolutely no sense whatsoever. I know you think you're being clever, but you're going so far out of your way to provide analogies that you're just talking nonsense.

Right, I feel this needs explaining again because you obviously just cannot get it into your skull: I'm not being the forum police, we the community try to make sure the rules are upheld. Usually without people to report things, the mods don't notice, so they rely on us quite a lot. Since this user was put on a 7 day probation, it seems my judgement was not misplaced. I don't care about mod respect, but the fact that you place this as a desirable thing, well, it says more about you than me.
Read back. Have I once said that I outsmart you? No. No I have not, and please stop trying to give me advice, it's embarrassing. But also hilarious that you think you have a knowledge of how my life is going to take course. You can't possibly know my attitude as a person from a text-based communication over the internet, the same I'm not going to claim that I know yours.

P. Dophile got what he deserved :D.

His argument on the Wii motion detection was so accurate. I used to own a Wii, but after a while trying many times over to get the Wii to detect what I wanted it to just got grating and killed most of the fun that I had with the system, and made me change to a 360. Sure Nintendo had a good idea, but 3 years just to imporve the damn controller? I couldn't wait that long for that. Final Note: Great review!

See this is why I prob still watch these reviews, I don't own a Wii

-M

C0nn0r666:
i smell a fanboy

Then there's obviously something wrong with your nose because I know a fucking fanboy when I see one, smart ass.

since HAL Labratory has dumbed-down the gameplay in Brawl, a lot of fans were very very disappointed with it.

You know that quote of Yahtzee's that the Escapist keeps tacking onto the end of his videos to advertise the ZP T-Shirts? You know the one about how fans are clingy complaining dipshits? Yeah that's why Brawl's fans were dissapointed with it: because Smash Bros. fans bitch about anything no matter how trivial. Take away the Wavedashing and make everything floatier and they cry for their bottles.

The gamecube was a great system with some amazing games to back it up with but the Wii just fails at all expectations. I guess if your below the age of 12 or are a good little boy and mommy and daddy bought you this instead of the 360 or PS3 then i hope you like your choice. They only decently good games on the Wii are No more heros Super Smash bros brawl Legend of Zelda and well thats all i can think of now. Arrgh my point is that the Wii can never compare to the other gaming systems and i haven't forgave it for killing off the Dead Space series

pff. whatever dude.

I'm a happy Wii owner, but I don't think there is any way Yahtzee could shoo me away! My inner cynic just won't let me! As someone who puts story and game play first, the Wii's weaker graphical capabilities for its generation don't bug me. My point is how real do we really want it to look? A video game, by its very nature, is fake! And hell, I believe that Yahtzee's goal is to first entertain an then to review! But I digress...
Many of the Wii games I have played have the exact kind of gimmicky, poorly laid out game play that Yahtzee points out. Then again isn't also hypocritical for people to complain about his complaints about the Wii and its games? Regardless of the system, he'll find fault in any game!

Vanguard_Ex:
Hypocrisy, thy name is you. Albeit implied, you resorted to name-calling before I did. You're making absolutely no sense whatsoever. I know you think you're being clever, but you're going so far out of your way to provide analogies that you're just talking nonsense.

what? i said the lesson is to not act like an idiot. it's at worst a suggestion for behavior, not an insult. however, it doesn't surprise me that you can't tell the difference. yes, i'm making no sense whatsoever. i'm sorry, maybe you should look into sarcasm. wait, you're probably too intelligent for that.

Right, I feel this needs explaining again because you obviously just cannot get it into your skull: I'm not being the forum police, we the community try to make sure the rules are upheld. Usually without people to report things, the mods don't notice, so they rely on us quite a lot. Since this user was put on a 7 day probation, it seems my judgement was not misplaced.

you of course take that as a compliment to your judgment; which means that your judgment is forever and always true, and the world would be a better place would it listen to your answers for its moral questions. jesus christ, i don't think i have ever seen so much self-righteousness in one post.

I don't care about mod respect, but the fact that you place this as a desirable thing, well, it says more about you than me.

oh yes, put some more words in my mouth. i have no desire of respect from the mods or any of the members of this community; which is even something i've often demonstrated. feel free to look through my posts if you don't believe me. but yeah, keep accusing people of intent based on your own assumptions. i mean, you've just shown that your judgment is irrefutable by being right in a matter of suspension. i would be SO surprised if your judgment was ever wrong.

Read back. Have I once said that I outsmart you? No. No I have not, and please stop trying to give me advice, it's embarrassing. But also hilarious that you think you have a knowledge of how my life is going to take course. You can't possibly know my attitude as a person from a text-based communication over the internet, the same I'm not going to claim that I know yours.

post two:

Zero Punctuation is always uploaded at 5pm, idiot.

derogatory statements imply that you think of someone inferior in some respect. in the case of idiot, we refer to intelligence.

in addition to that, your posts are littered with sarcasm and you almost at all times keep an either judgmental or condescending tone. you would not do this to a person you would think of as equal. so yes, you have said that you outsmart me; not just in an explicit sentence, but also in implicit behavior. don't piss on my head and tell me it's raining.

yes i'm sure you're embarrassed by taking advice from someone over the internet. i mean, who the hell can know anything about you by just reading what you've written the past few posts. nobody is able to analyze depth based on this information. never mind those psychologists that do it for a living, or any college students who analyze and compare results during their years at campus.

the funny thing is that people expect themselves to have a different attitude in the real world than they do on the internet. in a way, it's true. there are things you would say on the internet you wouldn't say to anyone in life. but on the other hand, you did just write all those things in your own post. i can tell you were even slightly disgruntled or annoyed because it to you seemed as obvious truth, and that you were offended by my so-called insult. i can tell you're getting defensive in your arguments, and i can read into the context the way that you put yours words.

god damn, if that isn't analyzing your behavior (and thus, your personality), then i don't know what is. maybe you're an entirely other person in life; but you still think all of these things about people beneath the surface. are you still so sure that you can't tell how people act by the way that they post or write? i beg to differ.

Eh... I liked the game... still Yahtzee is very much at the point of no return now, he has jammed himself into a corner for when something uses MotionPlus and it works really well, he can't go back on his guns. Natal might even surprise him.

As a PS3 owner , my issue with the system is the crippling lack of JRPGs (Yahtzee rage imminent), but it hasn't suffered any death problems like some 360 owners here have expressed. I believe backwards compatibility also helps, because without it, I would have bought a 360 or DS by now. Wii Sports was addicting, but aside from Punch-Out,no other game interests me, ang wagging the Wiimote all day would kill my arms.

I disagree with Mr. Croshaw's rather biased views on the Wii, but the video was quite amusing.
I bought Wii Sports Resort, and I enjoyed it a lot so far. Especially Swordplay and Island Fly Over.

Funny review, but I find it ironic that he mentions cyberspace as something to be focused on when innovating because, in my opinion, the motion sensing controls are a step in that direction. Project Natal is a bigger step: controller-free motion sensing, complex AI - although apparently it took them a lot of time to create Milo - and basically the immersive program that Microsoft developed.

"A motion sensor could have one to one control and incorporated twenty-two function swiss army knife, but that won't change the fact that without physical feedback motion controls are unimmersive."

I agree with this, to an extent - I haven't played a Wii game yet so I'm thinking some games might be immersive. I don't see what kind of immersion the motion controller can provide with this kind of sports games. It would probably be cheaper to go and play any of those sports in the real world, but Nintendo seem to compensate for that with cheaper prices for it's console and offers like the one I recently started seeing on TV here in my country: "Get an internet connection from provider X and get a free Nintendo Wii !". This is real. Incidentally I agree with Yahtzee's point here as well.

I don't own a Nintendo Wii so, of course, I can't comment on the accuracy of the criticism brought to Wii Sports Resort in this review.

Great, as always

im not very happy that he criticized fencers, i am a fencer and we are not ponsy little french poofs, granted some fencers are but those particular fencers are gay frenchmen!!!!!

That really wasn't very funny. I don't see what parts of that I was meant to laugh at. Maybe some canned laughter could've given me some indication.

What was up with the liberal use of the banhammer right at the start there.

Also, I must agree, why didn't they release the better motion sensing technology origionally? It surely can't take three years to improve it can it?

still cant see any of his videos, i have upgraded everything and i still cannot see it, please help.

The first thing I thought when I looked at the video review page and saw this game on the list was, "beat down". We all knew he was going to rip this thing apart and he picked a fun and creative way to do it.

hit the nail on the head about the controllers being non-immersive without physical feedback.

under all the cynicism and jokes, I think Yahtzee is one of the brightest people publishing regularly on the net today (at least about games).

yah anyone who does'nt like your reviews well why watch a review to badmouth the reviewer? i watch you cause your FUNNY thats the point you badmouth it and that makes you FUNNY get the point people evil review means evil LAUGHING so LAUGH ALREADY!!! anyone who hates you should be shot by you

i love how every time there is some reference to war there is always an ACK! in there...that just makes me laugh xD

I think it's funny how the whole "video game scene" has evolved over the years. I mean, games are technically toys, and toys, more or less, are made for kids. You think Banjo-Kazooie, Goemon, Mario Party, Super Mario, Mario Kart, Diddy Kong Racing, Donkey Kong 64, Snowboard Kids 2, Glover, Spyro the Dragon, Crash Bandicoot, Parappa The Rappa, or even Gex were considered "hardcore" or "forms of art" or "serious" entertainment for "big tough manly grown-ups""?

OF COURSE NOT!! They're toys! Always have been, always will be!

And now, this heavy shift to grown-up/older players/"hardcore" (A.K.A. The ones with more money and power, I suppose) is really screwing with the whole gaming industry, more or less. I mean, my baby brothers can't even play games like I did when I was their age, so they always have to go off and do something else for fun and entertainment. I think it's nice to see at least ONE company or branch of the gaming industry reaching out to them... Sort of..... In a way....

Though I will admit that they are not perfect, but then again, EVERY game company does greedy and stupid and irritating things!!...

Yahtzee once compared Nintendo to Fisher Price, I'm sure he meant it as an insult, but really, both companies do the same thing. Yes, that's right! YAHTZEE IS A REVIEWER/CRITIC OF TOYS!! GET OVER IT!!...

Upon browsing around through my favorite retro-gaming site, I came across a startling revelation. It's a funny way round to something that's listed in his description anyway, but here goes:

http://hotud.org/component/jreviews/tag/designer/Ben+Croshaw/criteria:3/

Yup, I had no idea. Completely slapped me to full conciousness.

By the way, Ben, thanks for the games. They've whiled away many the dull and tedious hour for me.

(And for those who already knew this... thbbbppt. It was news to me.)

I loved the part where he made fun of the Wii. It made me laugh 'til my chocolate milk squirted out my nose onto my collectible Warhammer figurines.

Seriously, this is quality humor that I very much enjoy.

I laughed really harder than usual at the "Jackson pollack with a scorpion at the end of his paintbrush" line.

And as for the Wii Cycling controls and how it's not like cycling at all. Has Yahtzee really not seen or heard of a handcycle.

Or someone could a real combat game (with swords) with the Wiimote, which would ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE. Instead, they do gay things like bowling and fencing. Holy crap.

I think he's way off. He's letting his inner "hardcore gamer" cloud his judgment.

Check out my the article I wrote on him and what the Wii really "represents":

http://gametopiaplanitia.blogspot.com/2009/07/zero-punctuation-on-wii-sports-resort.html

BTW, to Lonan, they did make something like that with the Jedi Lightsabre combat. Didn't do as well as you would think.

I doff my hat to you once more, Yahtzee. You are truly a beacon in the quagmire of gaming, please continue your process of taking no prisoners. Kudos to a true game player, my only problem is your theme tune, I prefer the older, personalised intros and outros to your videos.

joethekoeller:
Gotta say though, Jackson Pollock is the one artist he shouldn't have used for the tarantula at the end of the spider joke, what with him mostly throwing shitloads of paint onto sufficiently large (i.e. gigantic) canvas.

That's the point, He's saying he already swings his brushes around wildly, but even moreso because of the scorpion, this is how jokes work.

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