Zero Punctuation: Wii Sports Resort

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Bowling, golf and tennis are on here? What a rip! Also, do very much want some Wii Motion Pluses to fix my Wiis motion sensing issues.

And as a Wii owner I am sorely tempted to drop my Wii and go buy a real console, like the Xbox 360.

OMG!!! quoting Gerbykins: "OH MY GOODNESS, YOU HAVE OUTDOWN YOUR SELF THIS WEEK!" This is by far one of the best ever :D I can imagine his pain when he got the assignment on his desk. Like he said about bowling: Oh fuck off!!! :D

Good review but a review on "MAnkind is no yet to relise my genius" would be better, only the best Yahtzee fans no what that game is :), (Im an aspiring game journalist but i cant get in contact with Yahtzee) :(

Yahtzee reminds me of my mum when she tells me to stop eating all those mash potatoes because they're bad for me. He's talking bad about a thing I love, annoying me, and pointing out flaws I'd rather not care about, thus interfering with my good times. But damned if the bitch isn't right...

ps: joke's notwithstanding, my mother's a saint.

Mookie_Magnus:

You may be right... He's probably a Yahtzee/Nintendo fanboy who would do anything to get in their presence. You notice how he actually thought he was talking to Yahtzee? It's a little sad. I don't think that Mr. Croshaw actually reads the comments on these anymore.

Did any of you guys read Extra Punctuation? In which he responds to a comment. On these forums. Yes the comment was relevant (how come yahtzee said being a bad guy cause the game tells you to in RF:G isn't fun, but you said it was fun in inFamous and Prototype)

It was also made by Hamster mk 4

*stares hopefully at the one fan whose comment yahtzee responded too*

So, I guess he actually does read the comments. o.O
(I know I read all my comments, I just don't respond to the obvious idiot ones)

I just watched it again, and come to think of it, I'm surprised Yahtzee didn't point out that the game was probably left over mini-games from other "collections" and that the line-up was thus artifically lengthened by putting existing mini-games in there. Of course I know many wii owners who would kill for new golf courses since all of the third party games suck, so meh.

OI! IM A FENCER, BITCH!.....

but yeah we're all so full of ourselves if we sprung a leak y'all would be swiming in his by tea time.

we can take a joke. ha ha..... ha.

The Wii is still at home but is in the hands of my nephews all the time so I don't get to play Madworld or No More Heroes. I haven't even finished Madworld yet thanks to those little monsters. I was gonna buy Super Punch Out but I knew for certain that as soon as I got the chance to play the kids would walk in while I'm unaware and ask to play soon after asking what I'm playing. It's like a reversal of when you were younger and your Dad would sit down and try to watch what cartoon your watching but soon kick you off the tv because he would want to watch the news or something else boring.

I can't stand how these games are released separately but are essentially the same fucking games from previous Wii Sports Titles added to fill out the rest of the new titles. Sure you get some different sports to play but what about Wee Hunting or Jui Demolition Derby? Nintendo would say FUCK THAT and instead give us Wii Surfing, Skiing, Snowbarding, and Skateboarding. I would honestly pick up a Wii Sports title if it had the words Moose and Hunting or Demolition and Derby. Real extreme games like that.

I noticed when he said a controler made of fruit he sounded a lot happier than normal. Also about frailing your arms about for sword play doesn't work later on but it works up to that point. Maybe the article this week might be about motion control.

That was some funny shit. Shlorp!

thaaaaaat was funny, he should review more minigame collections like rayman raving rabbids. i hope he reviews muramasa: the demon blade when it comes out for the wii

I am a Nintendo fanboy who doesn't regret buying the Wii and I still intend to pick this up.

That doens't mean, however, that I don't find this freaking hilarious. Well done, Yahtzee (even though I'm still waiting for the Conduit review.)

(And if you're saying motion control is lost without force feedback, did you ever try the Novint Falcon?)

I'm a Wii owner.
Regretted it .

Nintendo just seem to be exacty how Yahtzee has described them in the past. Raking in the huge wads of cash from casuals, mums and children and blotting out the shrill wailing cries from their once devoted fanbase.

Sony hate the world if it doesn't give them money, Nintendo hates their fanbase, but are now doing a MASSIVE about turn next year (see this year's E3) and Microsoft are...well trying to be everyone's pal...and fool no-one.

Still...I guess if you have fun with all the crap handed out to you, that's all that matters, right?

This reminded me why I watch ZP.

Hah! I have a Wii and only a Wii, but Yahtzee's right, and everyone should know that by now. The major problem with Wii games is how many of them make motion sensitivity mandatory, and as for project "Nay-tal", I have no idea what that's about, and don't really need to know.

If future video game consoles want to put in motion sensitivity, make it a bonus, for the gimmick crowd, or something. I've always had the idea of a controller in the style of Xbox 360 fucking the Gamecube controller, who then took to drinking, but it was born, freakishly tall (long handles) and with a few too many buttons, and was sent into the mountains to learn the ways of motion sensitivity by it's half-brother Wii.

...That was one awkward analogy, but just take an Xbox, make it hold like a Gamecube, start & select buttons, I'm thinking a 5th right-sider button, and the two shoulder buttons on each side, with an extra that resembles the "Z" buttons on the classic controller.

But I'm side-tracking with pointless fantasies. Funny enough; I didn't even realize it was Wednesday until I saw this XP

Summer plays tricks on a 14-year-old lazy-assed kid.

My main problem with the Wii is every time they port another game to it, the press always say it has "new art style and motion controls", which is translated as down-graded graphics and tacked on waggle controls.

The only thing its good for is rail shooters and the first party core titles, the later of which theres a greater need of with the few they have not really using the motion controls that much (Brawl not at all I think).

Screw Wii Sports and any other Wii "meh" game.

Dragon_Nexus:
I'm a Wii owner.
Regretted it .

Nintendo just seem to be exacty how Yahtzee has described them in the past. Raking in the huge wads of cash from casuals, mums and children and blotting out the shrill wailing cries from their once devoted fanbase.

Sony hate the world if it doesn't give them money, Nintendo hates their fanbase, but are now doing a MASSIVE about turn next year (see this year's E3) and Microsoft are...well trying to be everyone's pal...and fool no-one.

Still...I guess if you have fun with all the crap handed out to you, that's all that matters, right?

I'll still say to this what I've always said. Their "fanbase" hasn't been devoted to them since before the GameCube. Even when they were still making what "real gamers" apparently wanted (and almost went bankrupt as a result,) said "fans" were still pointing and laughing from a distance with their Xboxes and PS2s, so it's not Nintendo's fault for giving up what was a lost cause and trying to reel in a new audience.

... And now that they're the industry leader again thanks to this "abandonment of the ones who got them this far," the gamers (the real traitors here) have no place playing the part of the jealous ex.

Hey Yahtzee,

Sorry for this message being really late, but I found a way to make bioshock hard by turning off the vital chambers. Sorry for being late (I'll be surprised if you actually read this).

I love your reviews and love that you don't bag on the wii cause i personally enjoy my wii and love watching the other consoles get a big slap in the face.

I wish they would put some actual GAMES on the Wii and not just crap like this. Mind you, if they did actually make games decent... ZP wouldn't be funny anymore, and we don't want that, do me?

Continue to f*** up, games designers. Trust me, we love you for it.

If Project Zero / Fatal Frame 4 ever does come out on the Wii over here, I'd love to see what Yahtzee would say about it. I do love the Project Zero series, but there's a whole lot wrong with a school girl going into a haunted house all alone that was the site of evil demonic rituals, murders, and where her own brother went missing... armed with a camera... Just a camera. And a short, short skirt.

As much as I love the Wii, Resort is just a tech demo. I played it and the only thing I found remotely interesting was the swordplay, and even the thrill of that wears thin rather fast.

The whole Wii Sports thing was great three years ago when it was fresh, new and exciting, but this just makes me think ever harder about how I'd much rather be playing a game with some depth.

Mostly off topic, but if anyone here is looking for just such a Wii game (with depth), I heartily recommend Little King's Story. It's a mix of Pikimin, Harvest Moon, Civilization and crack, and it uses NO motion controls.

Wii owner here, it's not my favorite console but i still use it if I want to play some of their good games. More of these stupid little mini-games is sickening to me. If it wasn't for virtual console the Wii would have died for me a long time ago, with it we can enjoy the N64 Zeldas (you know, the cult favorites) and some old marios as well as some other things with a good old gamecube/ Wii Classic controller. However I will be going for the new Zelda and the new 2D mario once they come out... glad to see Nintendo is figuring out that Mario was best as 2D. If I pick this up it's only going to be for the enhanced motion control gadget, even then they're going to package it separately later on.
Thank you Yahtzee for revealing another package of cheap mini-games that is only a minor upgrade from their first one.

I don't understand why these people are getting banned. The first guy just seemed like every other escapist-ist-ist, slightly more into the Wii than anyone cares for, but whatever... he has an opinion... what 're you gonna do? The other two guys (so far) just did you're run of the mill Yahtzee brown nosing. "I love your video... have my babies". Not uncommon. I don't get it.

hailmagus:
I don't understand why these people are getting banned. The first guy just seemed like every other escapist-ist-ist, slightly more into the Wii than anyone cares for, but whatever... he has an opinion... what 're you gonna do? The other two guys (so far) just did you're run of the mill Yahtzee brown nosing. "I love your video... have my babies". Not uncommon. I don't get it.

True about the last point. I like it better when people discuss. Comments which are just "Cool video" are pointless by themselves and of course everyone is going to skip them.

BTW before people say "you're not discussing it", I already did.

*whew* For a minute there, I actually thought Yahtzee had gone soft on us - bending to the will of his Wii-fan(s). That was close!

And I find myself amused that he has articulated this feeling of unease I've had ever since Natal, possibly even back to the Wii's release. Motion controls just aren't cutting it - time to move on. Or just make a more comfortable game controller. Whatever. (Preferably not one made of fruit.)

Glad to see that not owning a Wii has literally no negative consequences.

Maybe I will buy one if I ever wish to seduce small children.

Good video, goes without saying.

The one thing that suprised me is that apparently no one has mentioned (Yahtzee included) that its graphics are on a par with the N64. Aside from the cynicism surround Nintendo selling such a conceptually weak game, compared to the competition, they haven't even attempted to make the game visually attractive.

he-larious, me likey video
why did those 5 people get put on probation at beginning of thread, seemed weird to me

Anyone who remembers the Nintendo Power Glove should not be surprised that the Wii's motion control is not everything that they promised it would be.

thedoctorisin:
Good video, goes without saying.

The one thing that suprised me is that apparently no one has mentioned (Yahtzee included) that its graphics are on a par with the N64. Aside from the cynicism surround Nintendo selling such a conceptually weak game, compared to the competition, they haven't even attempted to make the game visually attractive.

They don't need to because those who buy these games without thought haven't played enough games to know is even good by todays standards, let lone a few console generations ago.

Personally I am not sure if this was as much of a rant on Wii Sports Resort as it was on Nintendo's constant reuse of the titles, with extra gimmicks added it. I agree with Yahtzee that the Wii Motion Plus adds the functionality that the Wii should have had in the first place. Being a new Wii owner, I think the motion controls are fun for some games, but like my ex-GF I am sure the novelty of it will soon wear off.

Now as Yahtzee said in a previous review, don't let his review or opinion of a game spoil your experience of it, unless you think you are not having as much fun as you are trying to convince yourself that you are. If you enjoy the Wii's casual games then don't let what he or the Wii haters say get to you. Just have fun it, and don't take it all so seriously.

I don't blame Nintendo for going after the casual gaming market, to be honest I think it was a brilliant move. They realized they couldn't compete with Microsoft and Sony, so instead of trying to focus on the 10 million or so people who are the core gaming market they decided to look to the 300 million casual market and they have been laughing all the way to the bank ever since. Microsoft and Sony were so caught off guard by this that they are trying to find ways to still be cool to their core market and attract your average soccer mom. Things like Microsoft's "Family Night" playing Monopoly or Uno or whatever is a perfect example of this.

I know there is a lot of people out there who feel betrayed by Nintendo. I think they have some legit reasons. At least acknowledge that they are at least trying to give the more hardcore fanbase some good titles here and there. Things like Twilight Princess, Metroid 3, The Conduit and such are some good albeit few and far between examples. Anyway this first post of mine is going on far too long.

In conclusion, enjoy the consoles/games that you like and don't let the 'haters' get you down.

How dare Yahtzee express his opinions in an entertaining fashion.

You guys are all Yahtzee fanboys.

I needed a good laugh, then remembered that Wed means Yahtzee, the pick me up I needed, thanks Yahtzee.

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