Zero Punctuation: Wii Sports Resort

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why are there so many members on probation for posting here? i read their comments, and most were not deserving of probation from what i can tell.

anyway, great video. i mainly agree that the wii is full of shortcomings, but i still interested in it just for playing wii sports and the wii fit, lol (and probably Resort now too)

Blanks:

Monshroud:

runtheplacered:

Monshroud:

Blanks:
As fun as listening to that review was, everyone knows Sony started the motion sensor stuff with that blasted eyetoy

That's funny, cause I thought Nintendo started it with the Power Glove back in the 80's before Sony had a console.

That's not funny. Because Nintendo didn't make the Power Glove. Mattel did. Also, it flopped, hard.

I stand corrected on who made the power glove, and re-reading I see how I mis-phrased my sentence, it should have said: "It started with the Power Glove for the NES". Don't know what it flopping has to do with it. . . Random trivial fact?

Still, natal is just a big eyetoy don't you think?

It is quite similar to an EyeToy, just implemented on a grander scale with the possible addition of a few bells and whistles. It (Natal), like the Wii Motion Controller is good for certain types of games, just not all of them. Some things I have read say that Natal will be the interface of the future and I don't see that as likely. I mean what happens when your Jack Russel Terrier jumps up in front of you, does your character now fall off a cliff and die? Granted it would be funny to see what happens when playing a football game and your girlfriend or wife stands in front of the TV.. Would a big skull and crossbones pop up?

Don't worry Yahtzee, I own a Wii and I still watch your reviews.

Though I am selling the thing, because like you say the whole system is pretty much a running gag... that prints money into the Nintendo vaults.

good about damn time some one actully hates this, all the other idiots who review it said it was great, no its just another thing for stupid housewifes and grandmums to buy

"bowling, o fuck off" lol

This one doesnt seem so bad, may pick it up for some fun with it

Also i had to laugh at "Wii Bowling! Oh fuck off."

Stop farting about with that silly family entertainment device and review Evil Genius already.

i agree with everything yahtzee said in this review. want to know why there's a wii in my house? because my 13 year old sister wanted one. want to know what games i've played for the wii? no more heroes and CoD WaW. want to know which games i've had fun playing? no more heroes for 15 minutes. the wii is not an enjoyable console, and i join yahtzee in waving goodbye to all who own it and play it on a regulat basis. feel free to return to hard-core gamer island any time you buy a PS3. or a 360. or even a gamecube, because that was a far better console then the wii. sorry to all i offend, but i've never been impressed by the wii ever. especially not when it releases tons and tons of Wii________ games that have never amused me any longer then the time they take to start up. and if this is the wrong place for this sort of thing, i apologize sincerely for me, but also ask to be directed to where this sort of thing is ok.

Excellent review, watched it twice and it was hilarious: "Wii Bowling; oh, fuck off", pretty much sums up my thoughts on that entire genre.

I'm a Wii owner and I like the console, but it's more than obvious that 9 times out of 10, the games produced for it are party games or games designed to flog yet more pieces of plastic tat.

Though I suppose you could argue that the great benefit to an impoverished student like myself is that the Wii saves you money. It gives gamers a choice of less than a dozen games that are actually worth 30 quid, after all...

I'm almost sorry I own a Wii, but my mom wanted it. I could plop her down in front of Wii Sports and she'll bowl for like two hours (as she did yesterday). I'm glad you reviewed this game this week, 'cause she's been curious in a casual gamer way about it. I'll tell her Yahtzee disapproves and to spend her money on something else. Like a new game for my 360.

What we really need is a video of yahtzee playing all of these minigames and showing us exactly how awkward they are. And by video I don't mean a white block figure making strange gestures while some guy talks without stopping. I think that would make a great addition to this review.

Fuck you, fencing rocks.

No I'm not defensive at all!

Nicely done.

Vanguard_Ex:
Zero Punctuation is always uploaded at 5pm, idiot.

resorting to name calling. that really isn't mature (not that you have been mature up until this point either how).

You can't fail at being cocky, genius. I don't even need to argue this, because I'm not wrong. I'm just having to explain things to someone who should already know them. Don't you try to teach me a fucking lesson, the only idiot in this thing is you.

oh i love making claims based on my self-perceived judgment too! i mean, the world would be so much more technologically advanced if everyone just started claiming things without a REASON. the irony of this is that you call me an idiot.

another thing. what the fuck is it with people acting like they are the forum police? what makes you qualified to make a judgment whether a person gets put on probation? are you a mod? did someone ask you for your opinion? the answer to these questions in your case is no. so what is your stake in this? you think the mods will respect you more if you do? you think people will? nobody cares about whether you think a person deserves a suspension or probation; BECAUSE YOU CAN'T ISSUE IT.

as for the lesson: for someone who supposedly outsmarts me, you don't seem very clever. here's my advice: you can take it now or you can learn it the hard way a few years from now. or hell, with that attitude it might be sooner than that.

Quite honestly, I think all three consoles of this generation have some major problems with them. Maybe it's just me, but it seems the previous generation was "which console has the best stuff?" while this one it's "which console has the least problems?" At least the handhelds are okay.

That was a funny review. While I do have a Wii I have no interest in getting Sports Resort yet my dad wants me to. The only game I'm looking forward to with Motion Plus is Red Steel 2 and that's it.

Eh! I understand that you get alot of hate mail for your, well hatefulness. But I happen to be a fencer and it's pretty much the oldest sport ever. You get to whack people with swords. It may be boring to watc, but fun to do. And wii resort is nothing like fencing, random flailing and hope you hit the person is not fencing(sword fighting).

Jaranu:

... Well except Portal.

Portal makes fun of itself and in the best way possible and in my personal opinion why make fun of perfection?

Once again I would appreciate it if Yahtzee would play the freakin' game. Here is a legitimate review criticism he could have made:

"While the Motion Plus make Table Tennis far more strength and spin conscious than the original Wii Sports Tennis, if you ever forget to center the paddle your arm will be stuck at your side like (insert Shia Lebeouf reference)."

But no, we get some immature rant about the cover art for 4 minutes.

When did Yahtzee decide that it didn't matter whether or not he played the game as long as he got a video out on Wednesday. Anyone who has played this can tell you he picked the weakest sports to look at...He obviously didn't try the attack the horde in the sword fighting, never spent long enough in basketball to play the 3on3 mode and learn to make shots from various distances, never well...played a round of golf, 10 frame 100 pin bowling or the new spin control (all the repeats behave incredibly differently with detection of speed and angle of the remote).

He could have at least mentioned calibration. It is the most annoying thing in the entire game but clearly needed for the technology. Has the escapist considered at least paying someone to tell Yahtzee what is in the game if he refuses to play them himself?

I own all three and they all have their problems.

great, again
btw. isn't the PS3 going to have the ability to play with fruit and all other objects by scanning them in?
we'll see

joethekoeller:
Gotta say though, Jackson Pollock is the one artist he shouldn't have used for the tarantula at the end of the spider joke, what with him mostly throwing shitloads of paint onto sufficiently large (i.e. gigantic) canvas.

I think what hes trying to imply is that its taking spastic to a whole new level :)

Thank god. Before this I had yet to see a major reviewer say negative things about motion control. The 360 is becoming so much like the Wii, with the stupid avatars, and project Natal(ity lol u get it?). I really wish all of the Natal devs and pretty much all of Nintendo minus Camelot for making Golden Sun 3 would be cast into the abyss and be done with. Nobody likes motion controls, they're terrible, and always will be. I remember giant arcade setups in the late 90's for fighting games that would read your body's motion as long as you stood on the right spot, but would be completely terrible and never do the move you wanted it to. That's what project FAILtal is doomed to become. I'm calling it right now.

And to all the guys who posted before they watched the clip, I would like to convey a message of "haw haw" to you.

Its to bad some one is so insecure that a man they've never met several thousand miles away would make them so self conscious of their games they refuse to watch the series anymore.
All and all very well done with the perfect amount of sarcasm.

I realize the irony of this post.

I busted out laughing when it came to Wii Cannoing thing. Great review Yathzee

This video was HILARIOUS i couldn't stop laughing. This video was great and the best part is that everything in it is true, cause the wii is a stupid piece of crap that cant do anything right. i look forward to more reviews that shit on the wii.

I think the Wii has some great titles, the one thing that I'm sure of is I don't flail around like a maniac to unwind, so the it doesn't see much use unless it's a hang out. I don't sit down to relax flailing my arms around to get my chainsaw going in Madworld (though that game kicks major ass).

I dunno if the Wii resort has what the first wii sports really has, simple games you can do during a hang out. Fencing? I have swords on my wall but not one of my friends really shares that interest. Jet ski? again I don't see that working but I'm going to place that blame on when my Wii gets used (during hangouts)

Hm, motion sensor games require physical resistance in order to be good, you say? INDEED! I've been saying that since Red Steel came out...since the natal first reared its ugly head, and since the PS3 magic wand thingy showed off. I would pay an exorbitant sum of cash if a real swordfighting simulator was developed that would actually feel like a sword fight. But after buying Bokken swords, practicing Ken'do for several years, and clashing swords with other Ken'do enthusiasts, the only way I'd ever be interested in a sword fighting simulation is if there was actually a physical object for me to beat on. Otherwise, it's just a flail fest...like the Wii so aptly demonstrates.

After playing the wii for five minutes i have to say it is one of the most irratating consoles on earth. I say that while my 360 has been gone for two weeks getting repaired for the Error 74j or whatever. The only ones who can master the controls are excessive mastribators who look like cave men because they have only left their house for more wii games or porn.

Hmmm. I think the Wii jokes in this video were a bit too basic. I can dig this all the same, just wasn't particularly impressed. But to be honest, I haven't been particularly impressed by the recent Wii games either, so as an actual review instead of a humorous video it might as well be very accurate and appropriate. I wouldn't know, I don't have the game in question and I doubt I will buy it either.

I loved it when you directly assaulted a game's flaws, but only saying "good things" about it made the show so much funnier.

I hate the wii and all it represents god bless you dude. Its a squel whore of a console and simpley for the familys and casual gamers. Get an 360 or PS3 if you want a gaming console or do one better and buy a good pc. And the Wii Fit gah... I say no more.

p.s In hateful irony i work in a computer games store and have to sell it to retards... i'm not sure if its wrong but i am always torn between taking stupid people's money or handing out worst gimick toy ever.

I loved it when you directly assaulted a game's flaws, but only saying "good things" about it made the show so much funnier.

Wops I acadently posted twice please look above. :)

Hahahahahahaha! I damn near wet myself laughing at this ep. Reminded me of the old mailbag showdown episode. Any chance we're getting for another one of those in the near future, Yahtzee?

Like cyberspace or a controller made of fruit. HA HA HA! WOOOOOOOO!

What's next?

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