Zero Punctuation: Wii Sports Resort

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haahhaha nice episode who cares about the wii is ment to be insulted that thing

Anyone else think the Wii is like the leper console? I'm not saying that people don't buy it, be developers put out crap for it. There are a few good, if not decent games for the Wii, but the rest seem like crap. I think this review hit the nail on the head.

I once again endorse yahtzee-brand© wii-bashing.

As for his comments on there being no tactile feedback, Please refer to the book "Shadow of the Minotaur" by Alan Gibbons to see the inevitable outcome of adding tactile feedback to a game.

Best review ever.

Speaking from experience, I have a Wii, and an Xbox 360, so if anything is ever released on the Wii worth buying, which I highly doubt will happen in the next millenium, then I can always wipe the mountain of dust away, use CPR to revive it and play a 'game' but until then I will be happily enjoying the hours and hours of fun I will get out of the Xbox 360 until the red ring of death devours it.

Anyway, awesome as always. Nice to see him destroying yet another fanboy. I personally look forward to a Street Fighter IV review. I can always hope. Then again, seen one fighter, seen them all.

Favourite quote: "Why fix what isn't broke? Indeed, why not repackage and resell what isn't broke to add another sprinkling of pennies to the official Nintendo money pile".

So... you can do everything you'd be able to do on vacations, except not really.

What's the point of doing activities in the water if it doesn't feel like water?

why is he putting ppl on probation lololnoob wowrocks kktnxbai \o/ noobs rofllmao

Who's "he"? Yahtzee? He's not a mod.

They obviously posted before they could've watched the video, they get on the probation.

They should be glad it's just probation - a year ago or so would be perma ban.

Or a contoller made of fruit. =P I almost fell out of my chair laughing. It was the way you said it.

Keep up the good work!

Why are people asking why people are being put on probation? They posted before they watched the video, if for the glorious satisfaction of "being first". The attraction of which alludes me, it seems retarded. The pro; YOU'RE FUCKIN' FIRST! HELL YEAH! Con; Probation/worse. I think there's a slight tip of the scales here.

I personally find him sarcastically reviewing a bad game saying it's good has more of an underlying humor to it than typical shyte games. Even though Yahtzee doesn't put numbers at the end of his reviews, I do;


Thank you Yahtzee, the motion sensor fad is getting ridiculous. i play videogames to relax, not wave my arms around like an air traffic controller. that's not fun in the slightest. down with the wii.

Finally! I was beginning to lose hope, but this week he proved that he can still make me laugh... I found the bit about fencers wearing sieves on their faces particularly funny.

wait, i know what this means... If yahtzee wants to make consistently funny vids, just review more wii games! lets face it, nothing good's come from the wii in ages, so it's a ripe feeding ground for him. Next week, the conduit!

Actually the Wiimote it's a Banantastic controller.
I have a Wii Myself and i love it the few funny (not so expensive) games i've found. That's why i hate wht nintendo has been doing with it's old titles: re-releasing.
It need 1/4 of useful brain to make sequels to 1 single franchise, but you don't need a brain at all to release the same games, with the same machanics only with different controls, oh yeah, and expensier than they were when firstly released >:( .
Someone should make good games to the Wii.

The WII has one huge flaw and that's the control they made it as a gimmick more than the core f the freaking control scheme, its not precise enough for normal games and so so on shovel ware.

The only other thing I can say is developers treat it like sht.

Though I am constantly which console is worst with all the watering down games are going threw, the PS3 and 360 are equally flawed and broken just in different ways.

PS:Rumble is over rated.

I find it humorous that when it was posted, I watched it, and just afterwards it deleted itself from the viewable reviews.

Also I don't own a Wii, but have enjoyed them in the past as a spectacle if nothing else.

EDIT: Wee! It's back!
EDITE 2: gone again.. wtf?!
EDITETEETEDD 3: And back again...
FUCKING EDIT 4!: And it's vanished yet agian! Fuck it, I'm leaving! kthnxb

Right, so, as a Wii owner and a Zero Punctuation lover, I have to say that... I completely agree with Yahtzee on the utter uselessness the Wii is to actual true-to-gaming gamers.

Don't get me wrong, I love my Wii... Though I hate that saying that always comes out as a sexual innuendo. But, I didn't buy my Wii for the motion games, as strange as that sounds. I bought it for Zelda: Twilight Princess, SSBB, and No More Heroes. And yes, I'm dead serious about that last one, I love No More Heroes and was very excited that Yahtzee found the same joy in it that I did.

But, I digress, the Wii's motion games are for the "casual gamers" audience, a term that means people who used to think all gamers were in the basement nerds, but now think it's great to pretend to be cooking instead of actually asking their Mom's to fucking teach them, s that when they grow older, instead of trying to stick a Wii-mote on the stove to make toast they actually can use the toaster. My Wii...god damn I hate that name... my 'System Formerly Known As Revolution' has a dual purpose. It's also for my Mom and my sister, being why when I moved out, I took the PS2 and let them keep the Wii. And my Mom's closest venture into gaming has been Guitar Hero and Rock Band. My sister is mentally handicap... that's no joke I'm being dead serious... And her gaming experience is when she used to kick my ass in old-school SEGA fighting games like Mortal Kombat or Power Rangers by randomly smashing buttons. So, obviously, the Wii is perfect for them because it's not really that hard to learn and it's pretty simplistic. They play Wii Sports, Wii 'Other Motion Games', and my Mom picked up Rock Band 2.

To wrap all that up, if you're a gamer, and I'm not saying hardcore either, but if you're a gamer who loves the challenges that games give and the excitement and new worlds they open up... Well the Wii isn't for you, because it's simple, easy, and has zero immersion. It's all about failing your body parts and seeing who can look like the biggest re-re the most to score points, mind you except for the three gems I listed earlier. All in all, great job once again Yahtzee, and now I shall sit and wait patiently for Ron to put out his next Unforgotten episode.


Anyone that starts designing Virtual Reality or Cyber Space games in this time of age fully has my approval and maybe some funding... Except 3DRealms, cause you know they'll say anything for some dollars.

another epic review!


Bored Tomatoe:

What the fuck?

I can't tell if this is advertising or schizophrenic fanboyism...

I think it might just be schizophrenia. Or drugs. LOTS of drugs.

I have a Wii and I hate it.

Haha, me and a friend were discussing tonight's review earlier at work, and wondering what he'd slaughter next. My friend suggested Wii Sports Resort, and I was like, "nowai".

Slow summer, huh.

Anywho, I would definitely buy a controller made of fruit. Button-mashing would be a heck of a lot easier if you were mashing soft grapes, or something.

As for the game, all I could say when it hit the shelves was "meh". I feel that way about a heck of a lot of Wii games. No, all of them. Wii Sports keeps my sister entertained, and granted, I love destroying her on bowling, but I'm bored after 15 minutes. I reckon it'd be the same with this. As for the Wii Motion Plus, I gave that a shot on Grand Slam Tennis, and it completely didn't represent my movements accurately at ALL. Maybe I was playing the wrong Motion Plus game, but there are only around 3 that are compatible with the damn thing, anyway.

Finally someone else who shares my opinion on all this "motion controlled" games and system

Next week: Yahtzee reviews a JRPG on the Wii with Quicktime events.

And then his head explodes.

As always, I laughed, balanced the words of Mr Croshaw with my own opinions, and then remembered that he's a comedian, not a bona fide reviewer.
Anyhoo, I have Wii Sports Resort and think it's a very fun little game. Certainly not one for the uber-hardcore crowd, but if they had their way, Marior would be a dull as dishwater space marine and Link would wear gritty chainmail and be covered with blood.

Very, very funny.

It's official. Wii owners are pedofiles.

I am pissed off by this. If anyone remembers my semi-bitching topic "I Just Can't take it anymore", they will know why.

Wait, you mean this isn't the Jesus 2.0 we've all be waiting for. Let me just try to muster up some shock.

YOU STOLE MY THOUGHTS!Just like the last sports mini game for the wii. This just brings up your hopes for the "new" wii system, but will ultimatly shatter.

Really, sticking Yahtzee in the same room with a gimmick and asking for his opinion on it is pretty predictable. It's not that he hates the Wii - take a look at his review of No More Heroes, or Super Paper Mario, it's just that silly casual fodder remains only that.

I heartily disagree with your review, but your opinions are noted.

Mostly I disagree because I actually did the necessary leg work over the past year-and-a-half to innovate the s*** out of what the MotionPlus could do before it was actually released. (PM me if you want to know more)

However, they actually took the trouble to make a well-rounded "tech demo" this time instead of the haphazard pile of spastic BS Wii Sports Launch was. There are freakin' achievements (yes!) for practically every game and subgame (Try the "Secret to Everybody" achievement in Archery without using GameFAQs). This wasn't even touched on, but I don't really blame you considering you only had a week to try it out.

They also set the bar pretty high for games that use those sports or similar systems.

That bit at the end about motion controls in general though was a low blow. Ouch.

i love how much you torment the wii in your reviews ^_^

Given the infrequent dressings-down Yahtzee gives to the Wii, it must have done something horrendous to him. I'm guessing it involved his mates' mocking laughter...

That bit at the end about motion controls in general though was a low blow. Ouch.

I disagree with your disagreeing. "Motion control" or force feedback or whatever mouthful of balls they're calling it nowadays, is a complete lost cause. They've been trying to get this technology working for decades and I doubt anything short of a clearly marked "genius potion" will cause developers to actually get the job done. I was actually hoping and praying before E3 that Micro$oft wouldn't jump on this idiotic and repetitive bandwagon. And now countless funds are going to be poured into furthering a technology that doesn't work and hasn't ever worked. But the companies that blow their cash on the technology keep saying how cool and cutting edge their broken, non-functional control scheme is, so people keep buying it.

Wow, it has been a long time since Yahtzee last reviewed a Wii-specific game. I haven't used the motionplus yet, but it'll be interesting to see what it does. I'll probably pick it up when red steel 2 comes out, because the game will be bundled with it. We'll just have to see if Yahtzee changes his mind when he reviews it.

The best thing about the Wii is its resale value

why have the top posters been put on probation? far as i can see they have not done anything wrong?

This was indeed funny and informative. I think that whoever threatened to stop watching because of Yahtzee's hostility towards the Wii is being very unreasonable. I continued watching the show even after I saw his scathing review of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and that is my favorite game.
That being said, I've had my 360 for half as long as I had my Wii, and I have twice the games for it. I have concluded that the Wii was a good gamble for Nintendo, but lack of quality control and too many games that just don't work means that the Wii should just die so that Nintendo will develop a high quality system. And I think Yahtzee feels the same way.

The best thing about the Wii is selling those remotes and buying a controller that works and never playing or thinking about a game that forces you to play with those remotes.

You know, this review made me think about why I like/play the Wii... And it hit me that just about every game I play on the Wii has absolutely no motion sensitive bullshit in, with the exceptions being Super Mario Galaxy(Where it doesn't come into play that much, or matter how responsive it is) and No More Heroes(Which works just fine the way they implimented it). I guess the lesson here is that if you stick to the games that you play with a controller and not with motion sensitive malarkey you won't be disappointed... Other than by the depressingly small number of decent titles in your library, of course.

This review also helped me figure out if I wanted to buy Wii Sports Resort. It's a pretty big no at this point.

Wasn't as good as his other reviews but still good. The controller made of fruit was funny.

So THATS why Nintendo keep shitting on their fans by releasing the same thing constantly.

Its not for lulz, its for money.

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