Zero Punctuation: Wii Sports Resort

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Bravo! Quite a return to form. Humor and the fast-paced ranting. While it did exaggerate the faults (and probably fabricated some), this video was entertaining. I also don't care for motion control. My Wii sits unused.

Big note: Wii motion plus is still not 1:1 by Nintendo's own admission.

funny episode

I dont really like the WII that much anyway.
Im glad too hear someone take the mick out of it as alot of people i know hail it as an amazing consol based only on the fact that it has motion sensor.
so what!
I go on games to be lazy and blow alien brains apart while doing a driveby in a Aston martin with a cheeseburger in one hand and super powered nitro-laser rocket on the back.
WII games (Thats games made by nintendo for the WII) Normally tend just to be some lame graphics, with absolutly no story as the entire game is just a section of smaller mini games.
If i had to like it for some reason i would say its the family gaming experiance but all my family do is watch TV and dont want to really play on it so whats the use of it for me?

Nintendo really are such stingy cunts with the Wii. Obviously there's the point that WiiMotionPlus should have been packaged with the Wii in 3 years time but I'm more irritated that they continue to bleed money out of us despite the fact they are obscenely rich.

A Wii Remote costs 30 by itself. Oh, but what if you want a Nunchuck? That's an extra 15 up front, kiddo. Now supposing you want to play Wii Sports Resort...you'll need an extra 20 to play for Wii MotionPlus. What if you want to play Mario Kart Wii...the Wii Wheel costs 8 FUCKING QUID. FOR A PIECE OF FUCKING PLASTIC.

So you're looking at 65 if you want all the necessary controllers bits (the Wii Wheel isn't necessary to be fair) for just one extra person. So 195 if you want three other people to play with you. Even if Nintendo break-even on the controllers at the moment they can surely just reduce the price and take the loss; they have so much fucking money anyway.

Hahaha hilarious review! Please review The Conduit next!!!

I can't disagree with the review, every game I've played on the Wii is meh...every game I've played on the Wii involving the motion sensor is laughable.

"Bunch of hoity toity cunts with sieves on their faces"

That comment made me laugh soo hard (Purely for the reason that I am a fencer).

Any other fencers on here?
If so did you find it offensive or take it in good stead?

Every review is made 33% better with the referance to child porn/molestation.
I think Yatzee wont be able to make fun of another Wii title for a while now.
Seems like he exhausted all the funny/stupid things one can say about any Wii
game to date. Oh well, myabe Nintendo will get more 'creative' ideas and fuel
more hilarious reviews.

Hey as a Wii owner I'm not blind to the problems the system has, and Zero Punctuation is usually spot-on in picking them apart.

Still, the game will do well where it's intended: casual market, families, and also drunken college parties. And I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. The game isn't my cup of tea.

I just find it weird that people take their consoles that seriously that criticisms become personal to the user.

While I did laugh hard at some points in this review, I shook my head when Yahtzee made the pedophilia jokes. Oh, come on. I thought the man was above that sort of humor. It sounded like a joke a 13-year old Xbox fanboy would make. When Yahtzee shifts from clever satire to just plain trolling it feels to me that he is the one who is starting to alienate his core fanbase.

Nevertheless, I laughed at this and I think I'm still going to get Resort.

benjtfell:
I guess it could work, but it doesn't.

The Wii is amazing.

I'd also like to fuck bowling.

That sounded cooler in my head.

It probably also had the correct meaning there..

DAm you guys are quick with the repiort button, the first 6 people were banned/probation/post-fucked

I like bowling kindof but did they have to reinclude it?, i got a Wii, it's not that hard to switch discs.
Waiting for Red Steel2.

Also for anyone who wants to find an awesome PC display system(I'm not ading just talking about the different control schemes) I "found" this:
http://tinyurl.com/lg2fdz

It turns out that it is much cheaper than converting a real 60" into your monitor.

So, can anyone explain me why 6 people in a row were placed on probation for posting positive comments?

Am I also going to be placed on probation for the following positive comment?
"Hilarious as always, I actually feel the same about the Wii and project Natal as you."

Anyway Yahtzee, you always complain that there are only games for kids or casual gamers on the Wii, but recently I saw this at the video rental store:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castlevania_Judgment
How about you review it?

i don't get it i owned a wii for about 2 years till i got a 360, and the wii is a pile of shit. Compared to my god given golden glowing console the wii sucks, and people are still playing it? AND actually like it to the point they are insulted by attacks on the wii itself?....i just don't get it

Megidolaon:
So, can anyone explain me why 6 people in a row were placed on probation for posting positive comments?

Am I also going to be placed on probation for the following positive comment?
"Hilarious as always, I actually feel the same about the Wii and project Natal as you."

That depends. Did you post a comment at least 5 seconds after the video was uploaded and merely said it was good before even watching it? Wait, the 6 people probation you're talking about ARE the ones on the top of the first page right? (I can't be assed to wade through 6 other pages of comments right now)

runtheplacered:

Monshroud:

Blanks:
As fun as listening to that review was, everyone knows Sony started the motion sensor stuff with that blasted eyetoy

That's funny, cause I thought Nintendo started it with the Power Glove back in the 80's before Sony had a console.

That's not funny. Because Nintendo didn't make the Power Glove. Mattel did. Also, it flopped, hard.

I stand corrected on who made the power glove, and re-reading I see how I mis-phrased my sentence, it should have said: "It started with the Power Glove for the NES". Don't know what it flopping has to do with it. . . Random trivial fact?

I have a new quote to add to my favorites list!
'Wii Bowling! Oh fuck off.'
Oh, and of course the 'Get Carpel Tunnel Syndrome to not die', solid gold right there.
Anyway Yahtzee, you always complain that there are only games for kids or casual gamers on the Wii, but recently I saw this at the video rental store:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castlevania_Judgment
How about you review it?[/quote]
*Points down to the reception tab of the page*
Yahtzee reviewing that? I thought Yahtzee hated redundancy so much, so don't expect a review.

And it will sell a billion copies.

"Get carpel tunnel syndrome to not die" is right up there with the other obvious funny bits from this week.

Techni:
Big note: Wii motion plus is still not 1:1 by Nintendo's own admission.

Say what? I haven't indication of that anywhere. From all the videos I've seen, it perfectly replicates our movements. I watched this video on the Nintendo Channel and it looked pretty good. Of course, I'm not interested in this game in particular, but Wii Motion+ looks great, and I think Yahtzee is crazy if he thinks motion controls don't make things more immersive. They obviously do - the mere fact that you can more closely replicate real-life actions make them more immersive (obviously not totally immersive, but then what is?)

jakefongloo221:
i don't get it i owned a wii for about 2 years till i got a 360, and the wii is a pile of shit. Compared to my god given golden glowing console the wii sucks, and people are still playing it? AND actually like it to the point they are insulted by attacks on the wii itself?....i just don't get it

Depends on the situation I suppose. My Xbox360 had 3 RRODs in its first two years while my Wii has yet to do anything but run perfectly. And typically when people criticize the XBox for its problems XBox owners are also very quick to defend passionately their console while attacking the other consoles. This isn't just a Wii occurrence.

It's just a matter of people taking their video games a little too personally. Yes, my Wii has problems (it just does: new technology always comes with its problems that need to be ironed out *cough*SD cards*cough*), but it also has a crop of excellent games that I enjoy playing time and time again. Not to mention that I still have the sense to know Zero Punctuation's critiques are usually accurate and also somewhat hyperbolized for every system.

P.S. This review was very funny. The style of humor is why I come back again and again, regardless of the Wii bashing enjoyed in these reviews. Keep it coming.

How come this video isn't showing up on the main Zero Punctuation page with all the other reviews?

Ah, what a great review....when will people learn the the Wii is a gimmick and that it needs to die, horribly.

Monshroud:

Blanks:
As fun as listening to that review was, everyone knows Sony started the motion sensor stuff with that blasted eyetoy

That's funny, cause I thought Nintendo started it with the Power Glove back in the 80's before Sony had a console.

Ahhhhh Touche

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Your motion sensor could have full one-to-one control and incorporate a 22-function Swiss Army Knife, but that won't change the fact that without physical feedback, motion controls are unimmersive.

Yahtzee, dear friend, I redirect you to the FPS 3rd Space Gaming Vest.

I'll admit, the jacket doesn't sound extremely convincing. And it's not even designed for the Wii/Natal. But it's a start. Sort of like how the original Wii controllers were a "start" towards actually doing what they were designed to do. In another couple of years, I can see this physical feed back as getting better. And though the jacket alone looks goofy, if you combined Project Natal, the jacket mentioned above, and some Video Goggles, then stood in a room, alone... It actually could be pretty damn immersive.

I think the only real problem with the above mentioned getup, is, well... Humans aren't designed to just stand in one place. We're designed to either sit, lay down, or be moving. "Just standing" means you get eaten, and you're tiring your legs while you wait.

Those industrious game designers will figure something out, though. Oh, wait. They have. Meet the Omni-Directional treadmill:

As for the rest of the video: Great job. I know it's a good episode of ZP when I have to rewind the video because I couldn't hear part of it over my laughter.

EDIT: Related to my above info on "immersion"... I really want to get some money together to try all that stuff out. Get a copy of some Wii shooter, buy that expensive jacket, and hijack one of the military's ODTs (As I read up on ODTs, I found out that the military made the first. And it sounds like they make most of them.)

I like these, but pretty much all of your Wii game reviews go the same way. "The Wii, a system built from the ground up to utilize motion control and appeal to casual gamers, had the nerve to utilize motion control and appeal to casual gamers." I liked your review of No More Heros, because that game kept motion control to a minimum and forced you to talk about the actual game, but you use pretty much the same argument on all Wii titles, and it's not funny or origional, just obnoxious. Not everyone likes the Wii, that's understandable, but if this is really all you can manage with your Wii videos than you might as well stop trying.

I'm glad ZP is finally getting back to the quality it used to be.
I nearly stopped watching this show, but last week's video and this one have proved me it was wrong to doubt Yahtzee.

DaMan1500:
snip

I think this might have to do a lot with the fact that a large part of the Wii library just have the motion sensor controls in there just for the sake of having them there, rather than really have them add anything to it. Mario Galaxy for instance, while a great game, could have just have an attack button and be the exact same thing.
No More Heroes gets credit because it's one of the few games to actually have the controls add something to the gameplay without feeling forced or out of place... or being a collection of minigames like this one.

I may as well return your own comment back and say that the gaming industry might as well stop trying to force these unnatural control schemes down our throats.

Monshroud:

runtheplacered:

Monshroud:

Blanks:
As fun as listening to that review was, everyone knows Sony started the motion sensor stuff with that blasted eyetoy

That's funny, cause I thought Nintendo started it with the Power Glove back in the 80's before Sony had a console.

That's not funny. Because Nintendo didn't make the Power Glove. Mattel did. Also, it flopped, hard.

I stand corrected on who made the power glove, and re-reading I see how I mis-phrased my sentence, it should have said: "It started with the Power Glove for the NES". Don't know what it flopping has to do with it. . . Random trivial fact?

Still, natal is just a big eyetoy don't you think?

chenry:
And it will sell a billion copies.

I believe it already has.

And therefor motion controls are going to be harder to "kill" off.

OT though, review made me laugh as always.

I am waiting for the Extra Punctuation

Bile, hate, dick joke... and that's just the review!

He, he, he.

Good work, Yahtzee.

civver:
Bravo! Quite a return to form. Humor and the fast-paced ranting. While it did exaggerate the faults (and probably fabricated some), this video was entertaining. I also don't care for motion control. My Wii sits unused.

Mine too, mine too

it started normal and meh but by the end i was laughing so much a nearly chocked

"A fond farewell to all our Wii-owning viewers," rofl. I bought a Wii on the very day it was released, and for a couple years I honestly didn't regret it. After all, you can pretty much expect Mario, Metroid and Zelda to be good games on whatever console Nintendo is touting at the time. But that's just it, they'd be good on ANY console, and the Wii's controller did nothing to improve upon these games, nor did it make them any worse. Probably because none of them really made much use of the motion-controls. So I can wholly agree that the Wii is essentially a gimmick. I sold my Wii some time ago, and now the only game I occasionally find myself missing is SSBB. Humorously enough, that was of course the one game I still used the Gamecube controller for. If only more people had bought the Gamecube, maybe Nintendo wouldn't have felt the need to take this route. Oh well. With any luck, sales of the Wii 2 (or whatever) will dwindle and they'll be forced to think up something new, and god willing, something better.

umm... doesn't every one with a wii have the original wii sports with bowling etc. why wast space with another copy of golf and tennis. put stuff that works with more appeal and maybe it will really sell. like wii knife fight or wii poaching.

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