Zero Punctuation: Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood

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hehe, i love the way yahtzee says "juarez", i'm a spanish speaker but it sounds so dashing when he says it :P

I really quite liked that longer opening he showed us at the end. The music kicked freaking ass. As for the review, I'll probably never play the game (I don't have a PS3 or 360, and Wii games are too expensive) but I did enjoy the review and I liked hearing his take on it. In the end, that's part of what Zero Punctuation is about: Someone with an eye for detail and flaws poking the shit outta whatever is wrong with the games that far too many people masterbate to (such as Halo or Smash Brothers Brawl), getting us to notice exceptionally good games people SHOULD know but don't (such as Psychonauts), and otherwise having a good time venting his frustration at poorly made games the world over.

Gods I know I've had plenty of times where I've said the exact same things he has albeit in a less amusing manner. It's nice to know there's someone out there with as jaded an opinion of video games these days as I have. At least someone listens to him...

I just noticed something.

Yahtzee never did a proper review of Heavenly Sword, he only reviewed the DEMO.

If you could indulge a curious Yank it would be quite appreciated.

Lenoh:
I just noticed something.

Yahtzee never did a proper review of Heavenly Sword, he only reviewed the DEMO.

If you could indulge a curious Yank it would be quite appreciated.

I would've quite liked his opinion on "twing twang". But seriously the game's long past out and it's not something he cares for, so chances are it's not getting reviewed.

After thinking about it, I think I have cracked The Da Yahtzee Code. The two games he missed in the end of his video were Peggle and Assassian's Creed. Now if you take the initials of each game you get PAC. Therefore, I believe the next game Yahtzee will review will be Pac-Man. It makes so much sence when you follow the logic of The Da Yahtzee Code.

The whole disgusing its linear nature thing brings to mind another old western game, namely "Gun", a game i thought would be pretty awesome, but as it turned out was just a big linear corridor between mountains with two or three towns littered along the way. I don't know if the showdown thing would be any better, but the bossfights in Gun were unreasonably fucking hard, with me almost giving up when having to fight a dualwielding preacher on an invincible horseback, and finally telling the game to fuck off when it expected me to kill the main villain, an indianhating railroadentrepenuer (original!) named McGruber or something, who was clad in full medieaval knight's attire, which did a surprisingly good job at stopping bullets, while filling my ass with bullets from a chaingun he somehow managed to carry around.

oh well, i'm sure a good western game will come along SOME day.

First of all, congratulations on 100 episodes Yahtzee! Your witty reviews have kept me anxiously awaiting each new video for many wednesdays now.

As to the actual game, it seems like Western games, even the good ones, have a lot of holes in them. Will there ever be a good western game? The world may never know...

good show old boy

Congratulations! What a wonderfully intelligent and mostly sane 100th episode! And you could create a movie solely based around the "twoot" and "juarez" samples. Or at least a "juarez juarez twoot twoot" version of the badger song. And replace the snake with a kobold.

Gratz on 100 episodes, even when I look at the old eps again they are still hilariously funny.

Did anyone else die of laughter at the ending? But anyways nice review and congratulations on the 100th episode!

Maybe it just me but this is episode 101. Think about it. There are 20 videos per page. 20x5=100.
Plus 2 on page 6. One of them is a repeat so we won't count that but wouldn't that add up to 101? The Youtube videos weren't technically called ZP so we can count them out but it seems to me like he did 101.

100 th vid! Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...

In any case, I'm surprised he liked it. I thought the game was meh, now I guess will pick it from the bargain bin after a few months...

I wish I had a button that not only says "Fuck Off!" in Yahtzee's voice and on a remote with several buttons that have all of the famous quotes of Yahtzee in the 100 episodes he has made. I would seriously buy a remote where you hit a button then it says "Stonking Great Tits!", "Clap Clap...OI!", or "There be Zombies...Kill They Arse!".

Wow, yahtzee finally got his funny back! and for the record, that theme song was awesome when you hear it all the way through.

Gratz Yahtzee on 100 episodes! Keep doing what your doing your jokes and reveiws are great

Great video post as always, but you sounded real tired in this one i sure do hope you havent fallen in love besides as always in yourself you wanker!

Have to disagree with the idea that button-less cover is superior to Gears' system. I mean, if all you do to cover in Juarez is run up to the wall/whatever, then you're bound to end up taking cover when you don't actually want to somewhat often. Other than that, great as always.

smartmoose:
After thinking about it, I think I have cracked The Da Yahtzee Code. The two games he missed in the end of his video were Peggle and Assassin's Creed. Now if you take the initials of each game you get PAC. Therefore, I believe the next game Yahtzee will review will be Pac-Man. It makes so much sence when you follow the logic of The Da Yahtzee Code.

By jove, I think you've got it! Good on you, old chap!

He probably put in clips from all of them, you just missed 'em. Go double check.

Anyone know the name of the theme song and if it's possible to get it anywhere?

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/content/music.php

There ya go, Streetfighter - enjoy~

OH man, last part made me lawl. You really DON'T know why Wii owners bought the system. "Oh oh, it was soldout for over two years because of being the hot new thing. Yeah, Nintendo will lose." I'd call your comment to another reader irrelevent and dumb some more, but I'll let someone else do it for me.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After three years of the Wii, after five years of the DS, you'd think the hardcore would have settled down by now. But no, they seem just as wound up as when Brain Age came out. Remember how I told you about some Atari gamers, to this day, still hating on the NES for 'destroying gaming'? I wonder if that is the future for our hardcore friends. Will they be like this five years from now? Ten years? Twenty?

Yahtzee shouldn't assume that all 'Expanded Market' gamers are brand new gamers. There are many who are returning to gaming after not just years but decades. So yes, they would quite remember when 256 colors was a big deal for gaming. Many would even remember programming their own games when it was more commonplace to do so.

What is interesting is the comment that Yahtzee is responding to. The comment didn't seem to warrant such a response. All it said was that Wii Sports Resort is fun to all except, perhaps, the hardcore. But if gaming was left to the hardcore, Mario and Zelda would be completely different than what they are today. If gaming was left to the hardcore, gaming would have gone in reverse. I think it is THAT sentiment that set him off.

Don't you know that the hardcore are the epitome of all gaming sophistication and that they are the ones driving gaming forward in all ways? It is fine if the 'hardcore' do not like Wii Sports Resort and other games. But what is going over the line is their attacks on gamers who do like those type of games. Their hostility isn't contained to the games, they are attacking other customers! Saying 'casual' is just a polite way of saying 'retards!'

What I find interesting is that the hardcore like to attack "casual games" and savage "casual gamers" who are all 'stupid', but when someone makes a comment against the hardcore, implies that they might be stupid, they go complete bonkers! Talk about being thin skinned. Hardcore dish it out, but they can't take it. They haven't even had to endure a fraction of the constant condenscending insults that the "New Gamer" has had.

The next article coming up will be full on mockery of the hardcore. They've earned it.
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Not so fun calling the expanded audience stupid when they can do it right back.

and
http://seanmalstrom.wordpress.com/2009/06/25/how-everyone-
sees-a-hardcore-game/

This is the 101st video... I counted... because my life is empty.

Still, great episode and good to see you're still going strong after 100... and 1, episodes!

I think my favorite ZP character of all time is Ray, the raping chair.

Awww, I thought there was going to be cake... :c
Congratulations on your 100th episode though :D
(I liked the montage but... what was with the ear rape trousers? Dx)

He liked FWAREYZZ wow. Good ending too, I like the song...

smartmoose:

T3H-F1GM3NT:
There is also one little thing that is bugging me...
I sat and rewatched the montage at the end (which was EPIC btw) but noticed there is a game missing from the pictures...

THERE'S NOTHING FOR ASSASSIN'S CREED!

Good job. I saw that when I went through it frame by frame. I also saw that there wasn't one for Peggle either. I wonder if it's a challenge to see who pays attention to the video and who isn't just paralyzed in awe.

Wow...I totally didn't see he missed Peggle too :P

Then again you have to think fitting clips in from 100 episodes into 61 seconds (less than that since the title shows up for like what...3 or 4 seconds at the end) is pretty challenging...but I still hold my case that the Fear PM clip lasts long enough for at least Assassin's Creed to show up :S

Oh well...this vid is almost 2 weeks old now so I don't care much anymore :P

Right trigger to poo pants. I totally just pulled right trigger. But before I did, I went to the bathroom, pulled my pants down and sat on the toilet. Still managed to poo my pants though...
:(

Nice review!

Congrats on your 100th video of spirit-crushing (or sales-boosting) reviews.
I liked the GOW velcro-pop-in cover mechanic, seeing as how walk-in cover isn't always done intentionally and getting out can be a hassle in the middle of a battle.

Kickass montage piece of Yahtzee at his best.

If i were to make a game based on zero punctuation it would be the dad from Fallout three voices Captain Dynamite who has his legs replaced by missiles and follows the protagonist the entire game in a spaceship sprinkling rose petals and friendship.

^ zero punctuation fanboy

Congrats on the 100th episode even though its just a number its a really big number that i wouldn't ever get to if i did something like this

Good god, the ass is back!

This definitely has to be my favorite review from you Ben. I just fell on the floor laughing pretty from start to end of the review. How on earth do you get so much creative ideas mate?

i've watched all of them, 3 times a piece god i have to much free time so someone give me a cookie for watching the best reviewer on the internet to much

This is like the fourth time I've gone back and re-watched this episode for the musical version of awesome at the end! Couple that with a funny review and a great surprise (you know the one) and Call of *HWA*-rezz becomes one of the best in the series.

AvsJoe:
This is like the fourth time I've gone back and re-watched this episode for the musical version of awesome at the end! Couple that with a funny review and a great surprise (you know the one) and Call of *HWA*-rezz becomes one of the best in the series.

Great, after this comment I just had to watch this episode again. And again once more.

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