215: Grinding the Dating Scene

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I... actually got into that site... years ago.

I always took it as a joke but now, after reading this article I tried to really get in touch with people, so I wrote the best essays I could, answered all my questions "AGAIN" truthfully and started surfing, I am a working man, I can afford to go an visit anyone anywhere in any part of the world whenever I want to, but I just can't get anyone to answer... and I think thatīs mainly because I am "Mexican"

I always thought being "racist" was stupid, but in the end people want to know or have a relationship (be it friendship, love or something else) with people from their same area, and that is actually kind of weird considering OKCupid caters for multi-national people, there are so many people from the U.S. that I feel like a tiny little spot in there... like that time I went into forums for the first time only to realize that people were calling me "stupid" just because I was Mexican and didnīt had a lot of grammar and spelling right, now itīs even worse because they donīt even try to even write to me...

and itīs not just me, I have seen people get ignored in the past in that page (I have being for about 5 years or so) and when stating "Iīm moving to LA" or the U.S or U.K or anywhere where the community is stronger they immediately start to get all kinds of messages and requests for being friends, I remember a single polish girl that opened her account in April of 2008 and left the same year 2 months later, I contacted her and she stated "no one even wanted to talk to me", coincidentally, she was really hot and seemed like a nice girl.

Well... I guess what I want to say is that these kind of sites takes us back to the "racist" area where people don't really care about anyone outside their little community and disregard anyone else as being "not worthy", this taken from my personal experience as a foreigner that tried to penetrate their little bubble.

(PS. is this a good place to post letters to the Editor?? I wanted to do just that)

Worthwhile note: As with MMOs, the quality of those you play with directly correlates to the quality of the experience and the fun you have. I've met some good friends via the website, but few and far between - Keep your standards high and eventually it links you only to geeky and rather beautiful genius girls. The website is improving over time, surprisingly.

HentMas:

Well... I guess what I want to say is that these kind of sites takes us back to the "racist" area where people don't really care about anyone outside their little community and disregard anyone else as being "not worthy", this taken from my personal experience as a foreigner that tried to penetrate their little bubble.

That's not racism, that's a general geographic preference and a little xenophobia. Personally, I wouldn't date anyone outside my city because I don't want a long-distance relationship. It's much simpler when you live in the same place. It doesn't mean a person isn't open to dating someone outside their culture, race, or ethnicity. Sure, some people are closed like that, but it's not the majority.

Also, since the site is US-based, there's bound to be at least some userbase skewing going on.

Anarien:

HentMas:

Well... I guess what I want to say is that these kind of sites takes us back to the "racist" area where people don't really care about anyone outside their little community and disregard anyone else as being "not worthy", this taken from my personal experience as a foreigner that tried to penetrate their little bubble.

That's not racism, that's a general geographic preference and a little xenophobia. Personally, I wouldn't date anyone outside my city because I don't want a long-distance relationship. It's much simpler when you live in the same place. It doesn't mean a person isn't open to dating someone outside their culture, race, or ethnicity. Sure, some people are closed like that, but it's not the majority.

Also, since the site is US-based, there's bound to be at least some userbase skewing going on.

yeah, i know, i just didnt knew the "right" word to say "geographic preference" so i went with racism, thanks for clearing that up, and i understand what you are saying, but what stops people to say "hi" or something like that, i am nos saying i want to date or have a relationship with them except "pen-pals" or someting...

but anywhay... i think OK cupid is quite a complete page, it just lacks a "filther" for people that donīt want to talk to guys from out of their country...

Sapped girls can't say no.
That's common fact, they don't have to write an article about it.
And no I'm not serious nor did I actually read the article <.<

I really don't know what is more stupid. Online dating, or offline.

I, in my abject desperation, tried a few of those, which all wanted sodding money just about and didn't see the point.

It doesn't seem like it will actually do you any good. It may have even been that site. I don't recall. It sounds familiar.

On the other hand offline dating seems pretty stupid too. Not so much if everyone is having a good time, but all the illogical bullshit rules.

But I guess that's more bullshit social rules and such than dating specifically.

Like look people in the eyes. I hate doing that. it unnerves the ever loving shit out of me. Besides look too much, you are considered creepy. Look square in the eye, creepy. Not enough, doing it wrong still.

How about screw you, bullshit social laws pulled out of humanities collective ass?

You are suppose to do this, you are suppose to do that. Not sure if anyone else noticed but your average person anymore is a massive self absorbed idiot. Why are we listing to the majority when they are REALLY stupid? When everyone says they want people to tell them the truth but then lie their asses off, and treat you like you are insane if you tell the truth?

Oy Vey!

Well glad to hear things worked out for ya. Personally ill stick to meeting my dates in the real world. I dont plan on relating my intimate life with RPGs. Thats like the episode of Seinfeld where George starts getting turned on from lunch cause he mixes food and sex and things just get weird. So yea gaming and sex life are and will forever be separate parts of my life. The most compelling reason i can think of to keep them separate is simple for me. When i realize im just "grinding" in an MMORPG thats when i stop playing so lets not get the two mixed up shall we?

CapitalistPig:
Well glad to hear things worked out for ya. Personally ill stick to meeting my dates in the real world. I dont plan on relating my intimate life with RPGs. Thats like the episode of Seinfeld where George starts getting turned on from lunch cause he mixes food and sex and things just get weird. So yea gaming and sex life are and will forever be separate parts of my life. The most compelling reason i can think of to keep them separate is simple for me. When i realize im just "grinding" in an MMORPG thats when i stop playing so lets not get the two mixed up shall we?

I can agree for the most part here. I like meeting people in the real world. A lot of times people might try to act differently online than in person. It just seems too weird to me. I DO, however, game with my boyfriend. I love playing co-op games with him and it is a lot of fun. We have been together for three years now and it is so much fun with him. We even picked up a fighting game to pick the most ridiculous characters and goof off. I don't say that I "grind" too much in a games, but adding a dating service....not my cup of tea.

Irishanime:

CapitalistPig:
Well glad to hear things worked out for ya. Personally ill stick to meeting my dates in the real world. I dont plan on relating my intimate life with RPGs. Thats like the episode of Seinfeld where George starts getting turned on from lunch cause he mixes food and sex and things just get weird. So yea gaming and sex life are and will forever be separate parts of my life. The most compelling reason i can think of to keep them separate is simple for me. When i realize im just "grinding" in an MMORPG thats when i stop playing so lets not get the two mixed up shall we?

I can agree for the most part here. I like meeting people in the real world. A lot of times people might try to act differently online than in person. It just seems too weird to me. I DO, however, game with my boyfriend. I love playing co-op games with him and it is a lot of fun. We have been together for three years now and it is so much fun with him. We even picked up a fighting game to pick the most ridiculous characters and goof off. I don't say that I "grind" too much in a games, but adding a dating service....not my cup of tea.

That's great! and totally normal. That's a couple's hobby. I like to go hiking and camping with my girlfriend. But that's the best part even though you are interacting in the virtual environment there is still the real element along side it. After all what are my hiking and camping excursions if not an escape from reality? They are environments not normally a part of my life; You see where I'm going with this? all other hobbies follow this same trend if you think about it. I guess the point is your use of the tools. If you use it as a way for meeting people and then meeting them outside the virtual you will probably have much more success then having the dating experience be entirely in the virtual setting. But that contains a large element of "DUH" factor.

On a none related note, about people acting differently online I'd say I'm even guilty of that because the internet is a zone of escapism. Why be myself if I don't have to? Its not that I'm insecure or seeking a particular outcome but its dream space where I can take on a personality that simply is not my own to see what its like. I wouldn't use this argument to go be creepy on the internet but it's interesting psychology none the less. Which is why your parents told you growing up don't talk to strangers on the internet. its just not in good taste (for the most part. I know that the world has found internet dating successful and would beg to differ all day about my opinion on this. And thats great too.)

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