Reliable Source: Cobain, PSPGo and Japan

The first story about the liquor robber, I haven't heard the actual story before, so I'm having trouble figuring out where the news ends and the satire begins. My guess is that it's all true except the shooting at the end?

nice stuff, funny and ridiculous as ever!

I loved the bit about the robber at GameStop, and the PSPGo bit was solid as well. Look forward to more of these.

I love the bit with:

"anyone who disagrees with its opinion may be a rapist"

Luckily, the only casualty in the robbery was the GameStop manager who was shot in the head six times after he made several suggestions to buy a strategy guide to go with the man's purchases.

Bad Wilson, bad.

But very very funny.

Robotic Zombies? So will I turn into a robot zombie if I am bitten by one? Or just a run-of-the-mill one?

Fat Man Spoon:
I love the bit with:

"anyone who disagrees with its opinion may be a rapist"

It's not very far from some of the arguments I've heard on Forums about this stuff. The games aren't to my tastes, but it still disappoints me that GTA has no children or pets, so who am I to judge.

Georgeman:
Robotic Zombies? So will I turn into a robot zombie if I am bitten by one? Or just a run-of-the-mill one?

Initially you just die, but if you're worthy our robotic overlords may consider sending you to the factory to be 'refurbished.'

wilsonscrazybed:

Georgeman:
Robotic Zombies? So will I turn into a robot zombie if I am bitten by one? Or just a run-of-the-mill one?

Initially you just die, but if you're worthy our robotic overlords may consider sending you to the factory to be 'refurbished.'

Oh, that would be cool! Where do I sign up? :P

Guerrilla news reporting is gaining popularity with anonymous douchebags all over the internet. The unique style of news and opinion frees users from the restrictive hassle of fact verification, research or integrity of any sort.

Brilliant, just brilliant.

Also,

wilsonscrazybed:

Georgeman:
Robotic Zombies? So will I turn into a robot zombie if I am bitten by one? Or just a run-of-the-mill one?

Initially you just die, but if you're worthy our robotic overlords may consider sending you to the factory to be 'refurbished.'

shouldn't you become a zombie and then become eligible for refurbishing?
I'm awfully troubled by the end result.

"that bastion of reliability and customer convenience, the internet"

great stuff!

Luckily, the only casualty in the robbery was the GameStop manager who was shot in the head six times after he made several suggestions to buy a strategy guide to go with the man's purchases.

Madden needs a players guide?

Furthermore: The people who play Madden can read?

The committee is asking for a ban of all materials that normalize sexual violence against women in Japan's adult game market.

You mean, like all fighting games?

I especially approve of the 5th one. Stuff like that seems to be getting more and more frequent in the News Room lately...

That last story was deliciously self aware. Nicely done.

Florion:
The first story about the liquor robber, I haven't heard the actual story before, so I'm having trouble figuring out where the news ends and the satire begins. My guess is that it's all true except the shooting at the end?

The actual event the story was based on happened on the 22nd. But the story came into existence because of the great number of robberies that have occurred over the past few years at the store making it the new 'in' thing with armed robbers.

lol

lol, i figured out this entire thing was a joke today when i read the second article

Fearzone:

The committee is asking for a ban of all materials that normalize sexual violence against women in Japan's adult game market.

You mean, like all fighting games?

Good point, we must alert the UN immediately!

Problems with Activision's zombie Cobain project have been racking up costs. Because zombie Cobain requires a constant IV drip of pure herion, he costs approximately $600,000 an hour to maintain alive. In addition, his inability to smell properly due to nerve deterioration has lead to him questioning teen spirit. Needless to say his willingness to co-operate with Activision has been strenuous on their relationship.

In an interview with the project lead he stated: "Zombie Cobain is costing us way too much, we may need to scrap the idea and just make Cobain 2, since the sequel will likely be infinitely better than the original". News on the Cobain 2 project is still pending.

So...we getting a reanimated Kurt Cobain or not?

Because that then I sorta want a Jimi/Janis/Cobain tour...That sort of talent pays for itself you know. Get started Activision!

 

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