Zero Punctuation: Wolfenstein

 Pages PREV 1 . . . 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 . . . 21 NEXT

Great episode! Moar limericks Yahtzee, you earthwalking god.

Thank you. Now every time I hear you talk, I'm going to be expecting limericks.

WTF he previously promised no scores because it can;t be mathematically calculated and now he goes and does it?!? to shame.

It may not have been his first plan,
But he needed the lyrics to scan
And lim'rickal whimsy
's worth more than consistency
So what if you lose a few fans?

It was not even the the creator of the genre (FPS, that is). The originator of it all was not even a PC game. It was "Marathon", a game that was only for the... Mac.

Dissent. I'm quite sure Bungie's Marathon came at least a year after Doom, which itself post-dates Wolfenstein-3D by about 18 months. Marathon used the same "2.5D" techniques that Doom did, but added a few goodies Doom didn't have, such as the ability to (sorta-kinda) look up and down. So, Wolfenstein, AFAIK, was one of the earliest FPS games.

...Unless you're going to drag Battle Zone and Elite into the discussion.

Hahaha, having studied poetry and creative writing in University I can really appreciate how difficult it can be to write in fixed forms. Yahtzee I tip my hat to you sir. I really enjoyed that one.

Wohow, that was just AWESOME!

Worst ZP ever.

Stick with expletives and crotch jokes.

It's great for him to try something new
Them poets like video games too
If you don't like the new style
Then I suggest you wait a while
Until he finds one that you do
If he makes them all samey
They'd be like the games he's berating
Exciting as the change from night to day.
Like a shooter in 'gritty' brown and gray.
So there's no need to be angry
When there is no profanity
No reason to fret as you'll see
They say variety is a spice
so if he tries different types
he may find one that you like
Now wouldn't that be nice?

Sorry for the caps lock. Very original review, quite awesome!

To make things simple and clear:

1981: Castle Wolfenstein (Muse Software)
1984: Beyond Castle Wolfenstein (Muse Software)
1992: Wolfenstein 3D
1992: Spear of Destiny
2001: Return to Castle Wolfenstein
2003: Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory
2009: Wolfenstein

The most recent game is the only one in the series that's actually called "Wolfenstein" and nothing more. Shame on Yahtzee.

...But, hey, the limerick was oddly hypnotic and nice. I got the impression that it was very informative too.

holy hell...he gave it a score....2 stars...

i know i saw thenat thought waht and had to go back to make sure i didn't stroke off for a minute.... oh god damn it He is probly going to review World of Warcraft now

That was bloody brilliant!

That was great, Gave me one hell of a good laugh. Lyrical genius.

I can't say much about the game though, never played any of them. Oh well.

Beautiful. I shed a single tear.

That is some skill my Yahtzee
You are a true paparazzi
What the hell I spelled that right?
This game looks like it sucks
I give up cause I don't even remember what kind of poem this was supposed to be. And It's not screwed at any chance of it.

Epicness. it has almost fascinated me how people manage to rhyme and make it work. I could never make something with rhymes without pulling of some desperate crap. How many stanzas were there to the limerick? Between 15 and 20 or something. Man, that must have been a lot of work.

Yahtzee you are truely a poet.

Yes that aside...He made all that just to restrain himself from all the hate for this new game...well I personally don't blame him the game doesn't deserve perfect scores...if you like the story well yes...I have played all the Wolfenstein games and this one...sux like HELL !!!
Sorry I am not a hater I even loved the previous releases but there was nothing original about this one (well the spells maybe but nothing else) yet again Yahtzee rules and the game sucked sry...

I won't play this to the end.
The AI isn't my friend.
Cause even if you try hard,
And rightly play your card(s),
it's just another shitty blend.
I can do it too :P

Paparazzi is plural..


Its good the second time too. :)

In this review Yahtzee really let his genius shine thru and really shows us what sets him apart from other reviewers.

Well at least he nows how to mix it up, but seriously Dissidia was released in australia on the 3rd; i guess my theory is correct and we won't be getting a review of it after batman

hopefully i'm wrong

"Vorsicht Scheiße"

f*cking LOL, I laughed for minutes

This review was very much funny. The whole rhyme idea was great! I guess that there's really no other way to review a game so bland and generic and make it funny unless you do the originality for it.

This was awesome! I wasn't a fan of last week's Irish accent post but this one of the best so there's something to be said for branching out. Can't wait for your next review.

I found this ZP episode apathic, even though Yahtzee can pull off just about anything. But do stick to what made you famous. :)

<3 <3 <3 pure evil genius.

This actually ws painful to listen to. Granted, not as painful as the game, but painful nonetheless. It seems Yahtzee is trying to deter his fanbase with gimmicks, noting this and the accent last week.

this episode is a prime example of why the word F*CK was invented, so this video and all others like it could be described as F*CKING BRILLIANT

That was nothing short of amazing. I compliment Yahtzee fully for making an entertaining, yet creative, review that also brought up so good points about gaming in general. A few recent ZPs have been lame, but this one shines.

No where near his best work... I think it was the rhyming that killed it (O-O)

I wonder how long it took to write that whole rhyming segment

Best one I've seen in a while. Eagerly awaiting Arkham Asylum next week.

I think he's gonna like it. He's gonna hate that he likes it, but he'll like it.

As much as I enjoyed reading "Articulate Jim: A search for something" now I think you're just showing off. Very good nonetheless but I prefer the old tried-and-tested formula. Don't knock it if it works, right?

Haha you can't critique the man for being original.

Great review.

Best. Review. Ever.

 Pages PREV 1 . . . 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 . . . 21 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
Register for a free account here