Reliable Source: Pirates, Sex and Spoilers

 Pages 1 2 NEXT
 

Reliable Source: Pirates, Sex and Spoilers

We reveal the winner of the console war! Hint: It isn't you.

Read Full Article

Wait, Croc eats Joker at the-? Wait a tic... I don't even own that game.

The best one yet.

"What's 1000% of six?" Legend.

Sparrow:
Wait, Croc eats Joker at the-? Wait a tic... I don't even own that game.

Please tell me that was a satirical joke. I can't play the game until the 15th cause of the fucking PC delay, so I will be VERY upset. As in FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Rage mad.

We hope the SexBox will go a long way to heal the past and provide an atmosphere of dignity and maturity as only a machine dedicated to masturbation can offer.

Legendary line.

WOMAN FIRED FOR SHOUTING IN EMAILS

Please God let that become a criminal offence. If I get one more email from my boss saying,

"ITS TIME FOR US TO GET SELLING TO THE CUSTOMER'S!!!!!!"

I swear I will go postal.

We hope the SexBox will go a long way to heal the past and provide an atmosphere of dignity and maturity as only a machine dedicated to masturbation can offer.

Wow, just wow, that line will go down in history.
And besides, I thought that if you put Mass Effect into your 360 it becomes the "S*xBox". Microsoft should sue!

I don't think I'll ever be able to type without making aeroplane noises now.

I dont know how to reply to this anymore
Reality makes no sense to me because of this

Oh man, that article on pirates was brilliant. It reminds me of Pratchett's portrayal of the Thieves' Guild. Ten points!

Halfbreed13:

Sparrow:
Wait, Croc eats Joker at the-? Wait a tic... I don't even own that game.

Please tell me that was a satirical joke. I can't play the game until the 15th cause of the fucking PC delay, so I will be VERY upset. As in FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Rage mad.

Well someone's mother is dieing then with a blunt kitchen utensil.

The Michigan Judge is known as a partisan anti-spoiler movement member. He allegedly had his colleague fired for saying the judges sandwich dies at the end of lunch hour. The judge apparently responded 'Aw come on! I wasn't even halfway through the tutorial!"

Croc eats Joker at the end of Arkham Asylum

This better not be true.

*glare*

EDIT: Well look at that. I found a blunt kitchen utensil.

"...only a machine dedicated to masturbation can offer."

Wasn't your pc enough for that? Well, I believe they should make a controller that can be held with one hand, since the other one will be... occupied o.0

oky i have just started reading this articule so can some one please tell me if this is made up or not i have no idea.

Please tell me that court case thing was a joke.

Well, with Batman...

Lulz nice article, I actually believed the sexbox thing. And no all the information is false everyone.. Except of course the brutal reality it portrays sarcastically.

cambodiancam:
Lulz nice article, I actually believed the sexbox thing. And no all the information is false everyone.. Except of course the brutal reality it portrays sarcastically.

Well actually most of them are based on real news, like the SexBox is an actual idea a company might come out with.

NoMoreSanity:
Well, with Batman...

Really? What a twist! I hope M. Night Shamalan (I now there's a Y in there somewhere) is taking notes.

Only time will tell if the Sexbox will emerge on the paradise end of the uncanny valley...

SexBox? Pony NeighStation? I preferred the Nintendo 69, to be honest..

Well, all this seems within the realms of possibility to me.
Someone will always find a new way to sell sex, people who give out unasked for spoilers will receive maximum hate, pirates think they have it tough, other consoles have realised how much money can be made with gimmicky consoles that sell for less than a good TV and SOME PEOPLE HAAVE YET TO MaSTeR CApS lOcK.

This article actually made me LOL, so thanks.

I so love this article. It is amazingly good at sarcasm and random interjections.

It's exactly how I like my comedy. =D

I've always loved these.

I saw a spoiler coming in the article about spoilers, but it didn't stop me from reading it.
Also, there goes Arkham Asylum. God damnit.

ohgodalex:
I've always loved these.

I saw a spoiler coming in the article about spoilers, but it didn't stop me from reading it.
Also, there goes Arkham Asylum. God damnit.

Please don't let one little fake spoiler ruin the game for you. It is awesome, and there are better parts than joker being eaten by the croc at the very end [which doesn't happen, or for those of you who hate having spoilers discounted so that one possiblity is removed: IT MIGHT (but it doesnt)].

Anyway. Great article as always.

I giggled like a little girl at "Tijuana Donkey Rider 3"

KoreyGM:

cambodiancam:
Lulz nice article, I actually believed the sexbox thing. And no all the information is false everyone.. Except of course the brutal reality it portrays sarcastically.

Well actually most of them are based on real news, like the SexBox is an actual idea a company might come out with.

The SexBox was featured in an article on The Escapist last week.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/94485-Manufacturing-Firm-Plans-Adults-Only-Sex-Box

Also, VROOOOOOOMMMMMM WHOOOOOOSHHHH

Srkkl:
Please tell me that court case thing was a joke.

Indeed. If I ever catch someone spoiling the story of The Longest Journey or Dreamfall, then I will kill them with my bare hands. But CoD4? You have to be kidding.

Nimbus:

Croc eats Joker at the end of Arkham Asylum

This better not be true.

*glare*

EDIT: Well look at that. I found a blunt kitchen utensil.

What?.....No..No......NO!!!!!!!! Seroiusly, I'm still waiting for it to arrive at my house.

*Goes off to cut self while ploting deadly revenge to kill*

That woman makes me embarassed to live in the same country. I thought our courts would have been more sensible than to give her money.

That thing about the woman in NZ isn't accurate. The email in question only conatined a single line of caps and she'd sent the instructions inside multiple times to attempt to get people to file their paperwork properly. So she deserved payment for wrongful dismissal. I'm surprised no kiwi's have piped up about it coz they should know more about it than was published here in aus.

Classic as always, Seth. By the by, do you know where I can get a sign up slip for the NOHI? It sounds like a group that knows how to get things...er...done.

The pirate in the picture has a horrible lazy eye.

I'm worried on the spoilers thing, was most of that made up or did he really get off cause of the jury?

AvsJoe:

NoMoreSanity:
Well, with Batman...

Really? What a twist! I hope M. Night Shamalan (I now there's a Y in there somewhere) is taking notes.

M. Kite Shammllamanom is a pro when it comes to twists!
OT: Nice article. I liked the one about the lady who was shouting in emails :D That was pretty awesome :D

AvsJoe:

NoMoreSanity:
Well, with Batman...

Really? What a twist! I hope M. Night Shamalan (I now there's a Y in there somewhere) is taking notes.

But the notes.... are already dead... *eerie music*

 Pages 1 2 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here