Zero Punctuation: Darkest of Days

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I'm not sure if it's a generic game so the aiming and camera rottation is alright? The biggest flaws were the story and set up of the game - so the actual gameplay is good? Or just good for Halo users?

Yahtzee, for the love of God, just review a Total War Game. Instead of putting out the occasional snide remark which suggests much but delivers little, it would be nice to see you putting your cards on the table and saying to us all exactly what you don't like about the series. Personally, I keep thinking of a total lack of patience.
Okay, I may be biased here. As someone who loves cricket (and as an Pommie in Convictland, you must have enjoyed the Ashes at least a little bit), I have a very high tolerance for what others would describe as 'boredom'. Anyway, I digress, it was a fair review, not as good as the ones you did for Wolfenstein and Monkey Island, but those I admit were rather special.

Yahtzee: kindly don't pretend to know about alternative energy sustainability. The whole point of renewable energy is that it is sustainable, unlike fossil fuels, which are going to run out in about ten minutes.

Otherwise, good review as usual.

Finally a game that recognises the historical importance of the battle of tautenberg.

Edit: Not counting that one Aegod game.

Great review,i havent reached the end yet,but the blue aura soldiers you aren't supposed to kill became in my mind main targets-after i gained points in the first missions for the gun-

The reason for this is why should i run around using muzzle weapons with 16 bullets tops(the sniper,again with no upgrades)when i can kill future soldiers that atack you when you disrupt time or watever and take the quick burst 50 bullets per magazine pistol and mow every1 down.

I hope ill get on the enemy side by the time the game is over coz they have the best weapons.

NeckStabber:
Great review,i havent reached the end yet,but the blue aura soldiers you aren't supposed to kill became in my mind main targets-after i gained points in the first missions for the gun-

A valid style of playing DoD. Its my favorite way to play the game actually, and it gets pretty challenging. You see, the enemy agents are the real "Time Cops", coming in all surgical, freezing time, etc. You and Dexter are more like "Time Rambos", you think big picture, C-4, and rocket launchers :)

I thought Darkest of Days was pretty neat! I can see where some of your criticisms came up though, it's painfully difficult do do anything other than exactly what you're told.
I took that Total War comment to heart, though. NOT COOL >:(
Besides, if you hate it, that means you have to review it, right?

i am saddened that the game didnt turn out very well, i enjoyed the demo and the video of mowing down romans with some a full auto assualt rifle, i thought that more of the game would have been full of funny instances like that, but o well, just another gaem to pass on, it sounds like. =S

It's nice to see a decent and somewhat original premise for a game, rather than cribbing from established stories and selling it as a totally new concept (I'm looking at you, Dead Space).

It's unfortunate that the execution of said premise is such a let-down.

First time I've ever heard Yatzhe slate something so completely and yet still wanted to buy the game...I must have a soft spot for time-f**kery.

Good review and I was curious as to if Yahtzee would actually review the game, specially with it being so fresh on the market and Aus' retarded release dates and censorship program bordering on the state controlled propaganda!

Anywhoo, a lot of valid points raised though I would like to point out that this is the studio's FIRST EVER RELEASE (To my knowlege anyway) for which they designed a completely new graphics engine from the ground up, and didn't rehash the tired Unreal engine or any other derivative of it.

On that note, top marks for making it such a decent one. It could have been a lot worse and i will admit the whole 'pixilated, goose stepping clone' syndrome did kinda kill it for me when i played it(Demo available through steam).

Top marks for the review and A for effort for 8 monkeys! For a first game, its not as bad as it could have been and will be hoping for a sequel where they build on their engine, work out the bugs and widen the gene pool a little bit :P

I too would like a flying cat that dispenses harps.

I loved the demo. Apart from the game looking like piss on a next-gen console, raping the Confederates with a futuristic assault rifle was full of fun. I'm probably going to buy it once I get my paycheck.

I also loved this video. Especially the joke at the end.

Ooooh! He mentioned a Total War game! My favourite Strategy franchise. I'd love to have it reviewed by Zero Punctuation. Rome, Medieval, Empire... Doesn't matter! Creative Assembly deserves that honor I'd say!

The same charm was there as in previous reviews. Excellent!

If I didn't know what fun was would I watch Yahtzee? Also, if I made a middle manager's wage would I watch Yahtzee?

I got your back Total War, you can cry on my shoulder.

Yahtzee do a full review on the total war series, or any total war game <3. its my fav game series in the world. although im not a middle age manager, i am autistic, so maybe its close.

tofulove:
Yahtzee do a full review on the total war series, or any total war game <3. its my fav game series in the world. although im not a middle age manager, i am autistic, so maybe its close.

but i would prefer a review on Rome, my fav on in the series, but any would do, and all of them would be a wet dream come true <3

Bigeyez:
Really? Everything I've seen/read/heard/thedemoiveplayed all point to the fact that this is a terrible game. The premise isn't even all that original when you consider time travel has been used again and again in games.

I don't see how you could find something like this monstrosity of a game remotely ok, yet bash shooters that are much better. Meh to each his own I guess.

bartholen:
*snipBut hey, it's on XBLA, so you can't expect pretty much from it.

No, it's a full $50 game. It isn't an arcade title...which makes it's crappyness even worse.

Yeah i'm confused at this point. I played this abomination of a game and wished I could go back in time to kill the developers for wasting my afternoon. I'm surprised anyone could even remotely like this. It's like he just enjoys doing the opposite of what you'd expect even when it makes very little sense. Play the game people but you'll probably prefer to take a stapler to your scrotum, it would be considerably more pleasant.

Yahtzee seems to have an eye for random games. Never heard of this before but I'm now intrigued. He did seem to kinda like it despite ripping it to shreads. But hopefully he'll save that anger for ODST sometime!

oppp7:
It's good to see reviews about games that aren't mainstream. My guess is that he won't review ODST because it's just an expansion pack.

was the first person to review Pac-Man a 'mainstream' video game reviewer?
I'm pretty sure he will review ODST. In my experience he makes the best baby raping, giant wang eating metaphores when he seriously HATES a game he's reviewing.
Go Yatzee, lock yourself in a room with ODST for 3 days then give the BEST review of your life!

Reminds me of a Time splitters premise

would yahtzee settle for a cat in a bowler hat?

>.>

I was tootaly thinking it was something like Halo 3 odst or aq worlds

That Virtual Boy comment was absolutely epic!

Enosh_:
dammit, complaining about 2 of my favorite things, Terminator:SCC and Rome:Total War ^^

I know! I love Total War and I always cringe when he insults it.

Barciad:
Yahtzee, for the love of God, just review a Total War Game. Instead of putting out the occasional snide remark which suggests much but delivers little, it would be nice to see you putting your cards on the table and saying to us all exactly what you don't like about the series. Personally, I keep thinking of a total lack of patience.

Indeed; I could understand not liking street-fighter-eski games, but I enjoy the Total War series. To be honest, I wish Yahtzee would move the fuck on and rag on something else now.

http://www.overclockersclub.com/reviews/darkest_of_days_testing/4.htm
The overclockers review of the game speaks truth.
I played the game with an ATI card and I while I did beat the game the graphics sucked to me. So, I'm going to buy a Geforce card and put PhysX to high to get the best of this game.

The positives:

I liked the period specific guns. The civil guns that forced you to reload after every shot. Or the sniper rifle in the civil war where you could shoot and stay zoomed in to see if your target fell or where your targets are going.

I liked that the enemies will attack your allies and that your allies were competent troops. If there was no one but you close enough to be shot, they would shoot at you.

I liked that they would chase you if they were alerted to you. In one civil war map, I was chased back from the middle of map to my starting position because I screwed up the quick reload mini-game.

I played using the keyboard and trackball, so I don't know what it's like with the xbox controller. I'm going to try that after I get my new Geforce card. I liked that 8monkeys have already put out an update that fixes some bugs in the game.

I liked that for the first time in any game, the grass could actually be used as cover. In all other games the grass in the fields are nicely mowed down prior to your arrival. Like I'm fighting in a golf course.

I loved the addition of the blue aura enemies. You can either not kill them and get points to upgrade your weapons or kill them and get future enemies troops that fight you. If you kill them, you can keep their weapons which in some cases are better for close combat in the civil war. For long range I found the civil war weapons were superior to the future guns which I find hilarious.

I thought the game was gonna to end with a boss battle and was disappointed when it didn't. Although the secret level was a nice addition.

The story was stupid and I wish they had put more effort into it. I did like the prison sequence of levels but the ending like Yahtzee have said is stupid. They should have placed in the beginning cutscene, "You don't join us or follow our orders, we will send you back to your moment in history to die." That would have made a world of difference in the story of this game. ... hmm I guess i'll go to their forums and post this.

[edit]
the future weapons you were given were annoying though. I wish instead of those weapons you got like upgraded versions of the old war weapons.

Fuck off with the RTS slagging. They are for people capable of independant thought. Not like the average console user. If you want a real challenge, go back to the geting a wife and bredding idea for a few visa ago

Pretty much my opinion on it, interesting premise but flawed implementation.

he should have anagrammed "history" to "shitory"

without that, it's a dealbreaker

I was going to write a witty comment, but on reading it, it was retarded, and i deleted it. More people should do this.
Goodnight.

Rath709:
According to some dodgy psuedo-science I read a couple of years ago, the grandfather paradox is no longer the most popular theory for how time travel works. Rather, the multiple branching realities model is now the current theory, where if you travelled backward in time and killed your grandfather, two separate parallel realities would exist from that point on, one in which your grandfather lived and one in which he didn't. Then there was some stuff about travelling along Feynman Curves.

So Back to the Future rules are in play?

And Yahtzee would look like total dumbass reviewing ODST. Just like he did when he reviewed Halo 3. Of course the story isn't going to make any fucking sense if you hop in at part 3.

Its like skipping Lord of the Rings and Two Towers and then bitching about not understanding why this Frodo guy needs to destroy a ring

I'm always drawn to things involving time travel. Except "The Time Traveler's Wife" because it's romantic and everyone knows romantic movies are for pricks. I might give Darkest of Days a go, if I run out of games to play, which will probably never happen, because there are probably millions of games available.

Rath709:
According to some dodgy psuedo-science I read a couple of years ago, the grandfather paradox is no longer the most popular theory for how time travel works. Rather, the multiple branching realities model is now the current theory, where if you travelled backward in time and killed your grandfather, two separate parallel realities would exist from that point on, one in which your grandfather lived and one in which he didn't. Then there was some stuff about travelling along Feynman Curves.

I always thought that if you went back in time wanting to kill you grandfather, something would stop it from happening. Like you'd kill the wrong person, or you'd just fail, or he'd kill you before you can kill him, or something. Basically, whatever has happened has always happened and will always happen.

It should be pointed out that the Total War games are not RTSes.

RTS - Real-Time Strategy, where everything from recruiting, building and fighting is done in real time. Total War is Turn-Based Strategy, with Real-Time Tactics, and more effectively captures actual war: the strategy is often meticulously planned over a long period and one can generally take their time over decisions, while actual battles require lightning reactions and calculations without the luxury of a base pumping out any units that die.

I also have to laugh a bit at Yahtzee considering the Total War games "not fun": ordering thousands of soldiers to beat thousands more to a bloody pulp while you furiously click away feinting, attacking and counter-attacking while listening to the screams of the dying is pretty fun to me. And I hate maths so much I doubt I'd be able to even read spreadsheets.

Yahtzee probably won't review TW since that would require him to give his reasons, and the only reasons I can think of to actively hate TW as opposed to being indifferent are impatience and hangups on pointless graphical problems. Oooh, every unit looks the same - so did practically every unit in RTS games released at the same time! What a weird, petty criticism considering the engine and time it was released.

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