Zero Punctuation: Wet

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Perhaps a bit off-topic, wasn't this game supposed to have PC release? Granted, I'm not as excited about that prospect after watching this review, but I'm pretty sure I saw it being advertised on Steam a couple months ago.

Yeah I pretty much wrote this game off based on the title alone to be honest. It's clear it's intentions where:
"I'm going to aim a game at guys who are too busy being sad, and jerking it to the title and the very obvious innuendo, very poorly hidden behind a random turn of phrase which is convenient. This will give us enough excuse to say that we're legit and the games dosn't feature around arse and tit shots."

I have far too much self respect to give something named 'Wet' a second glance.

birdman_91:
sweetness!!!!!!!
i was wondering if i should buy this or not
lol always come to Yahtzee to save you money on video games

well yes... i do suppose you would save money buying games based on his opinion, since he hates 99% percent of all games.

crotalidian:
"Inner ear disabling dove shitting medical condition" << lmao

hey, wobblydoveshititis is a serious condition that many of us face. it, good sir, is no laughing matter.

i played the demo, the game is fun if u like hack n slash games, but of course its not worth a full price imo

flaming_squirrel:
I chose to ignore the advice given at the end and was unpleasantly surprised by what appeared to be bestiality, on the plus side though I'd already guessed this game would be wank.

"appeared" i'm a little worried to what it actually was if it wasn't bestiality.

mehehehe...

Deep sea angler fish in an SS uniform. Sounds like a reasonable end boss.

Valine:

P.A. Master:

Granted, VATS turned out to be awesome...

No, it really didn't. Anyways, the review was ok - not his best but also not so annoying that I had to stop watching it (yes, there have been some like that).

True, but at the point that you no longer really value the opinion of the reviewer because other things are getting in the way of their message for no apparent reason, dropping it is probably a good idea.

And for the record, I really liked VATS. The regular combat mechanics were sound, albeit irritating that I had to duct tape my weapons together quite often, but VATS was just a fun little aside during battle, allowing you to catch your breath while you watched yourself sever one limb and then another, finishing by blowing their head clean off. Very satisfying, in ways that I too should probably talk to a psychiatrist about.

Who am I to question the proficiency of the all powerful yahtzee? Well I am DPS... so here we go.

Overall, Yahtzee was his lovable angry self. The Dr. House of video games, if you will. In any case, I appreciated the stronger emphasis on game mechanics and flawed design. The complaint about someone utilizing his methodology of "Swearing = Wit" could have been better emphasized, if not a little louder.

I loved it when Yahtzee clapped his hands followed by a pissed off "oi!" because it really brought out the character that we all view him to be. No volume bars should be safe with him and I hope that he does more metaconversational items in the future.

Awesome episode, Pillock and the jab at Shakespearean foulmouthing were the cherries on top. I had already decided this game wasn't worth it, which made watching the review all the more fun. :D

I actually liked the game. I enjoyed the cinema bits, that's probably because I'm a film snob, but hey whatever you like right? But yeah I still really liked the game, I'm probably going to play it again when I'm done typing this.

don't substitue swearing for humor, that's my bit
Thank you for that!

Great review as always, just pleaseee longer reviews from now on?
I remember when your reviews lasted like 7minutes not 5.

Yahtzee you should really think about reviewing ODST all the things you complained about are gone:
No Bloom (the graphics are usually dark)
No Schizophrenia (no horror from the flood this time around)
No "Pants on head retarded AI's" (you rarely encounter NPCs)

Another thing everyone on this website seems to hate this game even though they never played it, so that bit about it being too popular wouldn't be a problem

And I kinda thought the nighttime levels in Halo ODST were a lot like Bioshock

Awesome.
The review, not the game. Found it a bit 'meh' & I ended up taking it back after 2 days. The challenges & dual-wielding were the part of the game I liked.

Also, I suspect that every studio has their own Pillock.
Everyone loves repetetive gameplay & QTEs... erm, no we don't.

I'd love to play a game as a deep sea angler fish in an SS uniform. All it needs is a name...

Fantastic, loved the dialogue between Mr Pillock and his boss, thats was class. Oh and they used swearing as wit, that was brilliant too.
Don't even know how he can keep talking so fast.

Beastialman:
I'm hoping for DJ Hero, ODST, or Brutal Legends. I'm quite interested in Brutal Legends but the Hell Yeah commercial is pissing me off.

You do know Brutal Legend comes out in Australia TOMORROW, right Beastial? And I'm pissed off because I haven't found that commercial enough on T.V. And I thought EA was going advertise the game aside from the internet like it actually mattered.

As for the review, I have to say the Challenge mode thing is what stopped me from beating the demo alone. So if they're that frustrating in the thing that's supposed to make me WANT the game, i'll have to take Yahtzee's word for it on this game.

Kstreitenfeld:
inb4 banhammer.

Also, I thought the humor was a little dry in this review.

Har, har. I see what you did there. I do not approve of it.

Zombie Nixon:
cinematic gaming can go fuck itself

Why's that? Please, elaborate. Mass Effect was cinematic, Dreamfall was cinematic, Max Payne 2 was cinematic. You know what else they shared in common? They all kicked arse.

Wow I did not expect this game :D Fantastic review, as always. And yes Mr. Yahtzee I completely agree. Quick Time Events can go fuck themselves but hey! At least we're not left handed...

"I always thought that was a very odd title for a game that involves no swimming."

Probation ? Just because he posted before watching the video ? I agree that "first" posts are stupid and should be simply removed and not punished, but this seems a little nazi-like, the guy has a right to post a joke even if it isn't funny, and regardless of it being the first or last post in the thread. I really can't see any other posts here that bring anything of greater value to the discussion than his.

Anyone could post hours or days later still without having watched the video, and if it really bothers people that much then why not open the thread say 10 minutes after the video is up ? I can't help but get the impression mods WANT people they can put on probation, rather like some form of entrapment.

Oh and i loved the video, but then you already knew that.

Global flobal wobbly bits = ??? Best reason ever.

So THAT'S what a QTE amounts to? Laaame.

Rudeboy4360:
Great review VZ but was expecting Halo ODST.Still funny as hell.

Read Extra Punctuation: Scribblenauts.

He's not doing ODST.

Ever.

Hit all my major problems with the game.

Still, the game just felt like a title Bethesda was using to get some cash flow for TES V

well an ODST review would pretty much be halo 3, except your a squishy more lovable marine in a halo 2 level

The Pillock section was amazing, we need way more of these review done in anecdotal form.

veryboringfact:
"I always thought that was a very odd title for a game that involves no swimming."

Probation ? Just because he posted before watching the video ? I agree that "first" posts are stupid and should be simply removed and not punished, but this seems a little nazi-like, the guy has a right to post a joke even if it isn't funny, and regardless of it being the first or last post in the thread. I really can't see any other posts here that bring anything of greater value to the discussion than his.

Anyone could post hours or days later still without having watched the video, and if it really bothers people that much then why not open the thread say 10 minutes after the video is up ? I can't help but get the impression mods WANT people they can put on probation, rather like some form of entrapment.

Oh and i loved the video, but then you already knew that.

And then there was that one guy who phrased it like he needed to be first to not die.

That's a serious problem...

A deep sea anglerfish in an SS uniform? I would so play a game with that in it.

And my firend wanted to buy this game. Is there a demo out for this game please let me know if there is one i would like to try it to see if its even worth renting.

Cinematic gaming is the new Full-Motion Video game! It's a conspiracy, I tells ya!

i liked this episode. are you going to do kingdom hearts 385/2 days at all?

funny as always , and im glad he called BS on all that film-like stuff, especially the red/black events which my brother crapped his pants over but it was the exact same fucking thing as 10 seconds ago, only now it was easier to kill people, and you didnt have to use the shitty revolvers

speaking of the revolvers, they had moon clips with 20 bullets ,which is impossible, unless the bullet caliber is taken down to a .022 shorts and then it wouldnt be able to even kill anyone

Aww, I liked WET...

Funny review though, I knew he would hate it, far too many QTEs

Also, it was too short (finished it in 2 days) and the bad guys weren't utilised properly

The 'Loading Screen singularity' bit made me laugh so much my ass hurt.

It congured many memories of games where I thought that was happening although I must say it's never actually crashed on one before.

love your shit, but when you review Uncharted 2: Among Thieves then you will know what Cinematic Gamplay really is. it beats every summer blockbuster that came out this year.

Best quote:"But the train stopped at the station so he just made a fool of himself"
:D

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