Zero Punctuation: Wet

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Rudeboy4360:

Caliostro:
One of the funniest one ever. From the angler fish in an SS uniform to the conversation between "Pillock and Boss", this one was just awesome.

Rudeboy4360:
Great review VZ but was expecting Halo ODST.Still funny as hell.

Read Extra Punctuation. He's not doing it.

Damn! Still a very funny review,one of my favorites....Ha Pillock!

noodlestreet:
EDIT: oops, someone beat me to it. Oh well. Hoping he reviews Brütal Legend next week. Want to know if it's actually any good.

Yeah he'll probably do brutal legend if Australian entertainment people don't ban it.
I might get it for christmas when the price goes down a bit.

PS. how did you get the U with the .. above it?

on Mac, command-u then u again.

Woodsey:
The impression I got from the demo was basically everything said in that review.

Never been so bored in my life.

I've haven't been so pissed off since my internet slowed to an agonising crawl and again that was just the demo. Even the box art fills me with such contempt that I fell like going round my local Gamestation and burning every single one they have. It's basically Rubi looking down her nose at you as if to say "look at me, I'm the greatest sexiest game protaganist in history!" The smug, arrogant bitch!

Awesome review, like usuall.
Nice touch with the Pillock and his boss, although I liked Terry and Gonad more.

Kstreitenfeld:
inb4 banhammer.

Also, I thought the humor was a little dry in this review.

Really? I thought the pillock scene was hilarious.

Damn these thoughts and their utter weightlessness.

Noncom, I can understand why you think 'Shadow of the Colossus' is not a cinematic game. I wrote the the quip to articulate some of the intersting subtleties in SotC's aesthetic presentation which I contend to be 'cinematically' inspired. As far as I can see you wrote your rebuke to bully my labeling of the game as cinematic. In all probability neither classification is completely correct. But I'll go with it. Let me clarify why I labeled 'Shadow of the Colossus' as a cinematic game.

You say SotC is not cinematic and you seem to ground your argument in the idea that if SotC was to ever be made into a movie, it would be terrible. You mention that the horse riding sequences are too long and boring; there's almost no dialogue and the main avatar is nameless and bereft of a backstory. I totally agree, SotC is not cinematic in that respect. That is to say, it would make a terrible movie. However SotC is not, "as far removed from cinematic as you can ge," because its presentation is very cinematic, which was my whole argument to begin with.

SotC makes use of cinematic elements, like dynamic camera angles, context sensitive zoom and panning, camera blur --- you know, all the things I went over in my last post that you didn't pay attention to. It's cinematic because it manages to tells a very compelling story without the use of backstory and dialogue. Granted, all games have this to a degree, but SotC is almost exclusively a nonverbal game and carries itself only through imagery.

Poor Pillock's boss. :(

birdman_91:
sweetness!!!!!!!
i was wondering if i should buy this or not
lol always come to Yahtzee to save you money on video games

Yahtzee is the BEST way to save money on videogames, if you only buy games on his reccomendation, you would buy like maybe 3 games a year, lol

Yahtzee is unfair to games, but its his thing to amplify all their bad traits, and its freaking entertaining, supplementing Yahtzee with Game Informer magazine is how I choose whether or not to buy a game that looks good.

Although maybe I'm not giving Yahtzee enough credit in the actual reviewing he does, after all, he does recognize an incredible game every so often, I just think his standards are too high

You played the wet from start to finish?! Poor Yahtzee. The demo was enough to let me know how rubbish the game was.

I doubt he played the game on the grounds of failing to mention the awesome soundtrack...

Since the whole "Pillock and Boss" routine seems remarkably similar to the "Terry and Gonad" bit from Yahtzee's "Alone in the Dark" review. It makes me wonder if Yahtzee has gotten lazy and is simply recycling his material.

See, I can nitpick pointless things too!

I had to stop this weeks vid three times because I was laughing so hard. The Anti-arse shoe polish had me on the floor laughing.

I played the DEMO and thought this game was totally bland. Glad Yahtzee agrees.

"Hurry up bitch!"
I hope he reviews uncharted 2, I think he won't like how they haven't added much except multiplayer, but I still think it'd be a funny review.
Even though I played the multiplayer beta and fuckin loved that game.

Godofgame67:
I personally enjoyed WET but this was still entertaining none the less. It seems to me like it had the Mirrors Edge problem. A lot of potential that just wasn't reached.

Damn you and your icon! Makin' me lose the game. Jerk.

I actually did notice a bunch of the issues that he mentioned here, I just never payed too much attention to them.

One BIG issue that he didn't mention was that during those challenge missions they force on you there is one in particular where you have to shoot targets around a bus. The targets mesh completely into the background and with the coloring of the bus and at times you hear the noise of a target going up but have no idea where it is cause of it's chameleon like abilities.

A fried of mine I believe actually bothered to get all the gold ratings for the missions and even got gold on the first one the very first time he tried it where I got bronze or silver, can't remember. I wonder if he's just got way too much time on his hands or I'm too lazy since I don't care to be forced to do stuff like that in games that I don't really like anymore just so I can force getting my moneys worth out of a game.

nice review, yahtzee

... Letz awl goh 2 teh Law-Bee, Letz awl goh 2 teh Law-Bee, Letz awl goh 2 teh Laaaaawwwww - Beeeeeee, an git oourselvz uh treet...

I liked this game, but probably because i've never played a movie before...

or it could be because i'm just a tool when it comes to video games, but i do agree with him in one respect that this game is just downright silly...

A wonderful review. Yahtzee shows that he can't stand others horning in on his style, and that he has a certain...flair for disaster in regards to Google Image Search.

ROFLMAO! my face hurts from smiling too hard! ROFLMAO!

I guess you have to be into the grindhouse/exploitation scene to really want this game, plot-wise anyway. The combat looks interesting though.

Haven't played it but from some of his description it's a little odd that Yahtzee was so hard on the game, yet loves Killer7. Style over gameplay-wise, that is. (Killer7 didn't have quick time events but hey)

Place your bets: there will be a Brütal Legend review within three weeks.

Bonus points if he makes a referance about being gay for Tim Shafer.

not one of yahtzees best imo

Did a mod go mad or something? A lot of people were put on probation, but I can't see anything wrong with their posts.

Such a great review. Definitely one of his best ever.

I'd like to see him review Demon's Souls sometime. Personally I love the game, and its pretty immersive, which I know he likes. Actually, maybe scratch that, because its usually the best to see the reviews for the very bad games.

Loved the review. I pity you for actually having to play it through. I played the demo and instantly thought "Oh great, this is stranglehold all over again with an almost girl... only cheaper and less pretty."

My collectors edition of stranglehold is still sitting on my shelf of "not so good games," with about 10 minutes of gameplay (I mean I though it was supposed to be graphically ground breaking and enjoyable, but its not the UT3 engine, its the UT1 engine, but bad).

The Wet demo got even less play and I regretted the bandwidth used from my unlimited download internet connection.

p.s. I don't bother trading in bad games cause the usually give me only 2 euro of the price of a good game which isnt even worth the bother. I use them as gifts instead.

This is the first time that I have so definitively changed my mind about buying a game due to a review. Thank you, Yahtzee, you have saved me some money. Let's hear it for the misleading fantasy world otherwise known as advertising. Now, back to Psychonauts (especially since Newegg, unlike some other retailers who appear to have made "deals" with EA, has not gotten any copies of Brutal Legend to send to anyone who preordered.)

Cinematic games were fun when the term cinematic was suffixed by platformer, i know Yahtzee agress :) Ah, Flashback, Another World. Good old games.

neoman10:

Frank_Sinatra_:
In my own humble opinion Wet can greatly summarized through the demo on PSN/XBL. Really Yahtzee should have played the demo and called it a review of the full game, because THATS WHAT IT IS!

now that I think of it, it's very true

Yes, but then people would whine that he already made that joke about Mirror's Edge.

Good review. I gave up one minute into demo - glad I didn't bother. And yes Rubi is the girl from Zen Pinball.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.145529#3295211

i got wet on release date and after around 30mins of playing i realised that it was basicly the same lvl every time, it made me quit especialy at the minefield area where i kept falling down because of the ledges =/ i then sold it shortly after

Yea this game is pretty bad.
It's a good reminder to any publisher that while having a couple of potheads on your development team can bring in some cool ideas but once the whole team is on drugs, you get something like this.

I actually thought Yhatzee was going to like Wet. Hell, he liked No More Heroes and that game was even worse. At least Wet didn't have a boring and blank sandbox you had to traverse every time you needed to kill a new group of idiots.

It does make you think though; what's worse - a tedious sandbox or a series of arbitrary quick time events.
Yea, I guess the latter is a bit worse but it does at least let you get on with your life quicker.

teh.arkhon:
not one of yahtzees best imo

You try doing weekly reviews that cater to the needs of the cretins and lets see how good you are.

Jeez, just because you can pass worthless judgment doesn't mean you should.

The angler fish in the SS uniform just became my favourite ever ZP moment.

I think that Yahtzee is right that the flying through air in slow-motion thing is abused in that game. It's like V.A.T.S. in Fallout 3 or that stupid slo-mo thing they do when you knock somebody out in fighting games. Hell, at its core it's even like the annoying ass rolling and making your character hop across the board thing they do in the infinite mario party copies they've made. I think what Yahtzee is trying to say is that any event which slows down the action of a game had better be fucking beautiful and used sparingly. If I were to use this mechanic in a game I would definitely try and put it in a FPStealth rather than a shooter, and the pistols she gets would each have to be manually reloaded. Heres roughly how it'd work if I magic fairies granted me the ability to make video games rather than just complain:

*Generic stealthy hero is sneaking*
*Some sort of guard is alerted, possibly along with other guards*
*The hero must choose to either shoot or hide*
*Hero enters dramatic slow motion gun firing event, some number of bullets are used up*
*Other guards are alerted by the gunfire and come to the area*
*Hero must run, hide or shoot if bullets remain*

I think if your reload time was limited like that than the stealth aspect of a game could be emphasized while still keeping the ability to kill enemies. The thing is that if your gunfire alerts more enemies than you are discouraged from shooting. Killing just one room of baddies could lead to you hiding under a desk three feet from a badly shaven guard praying to whatever god you hold sacred that your shaky hands can load that stupid pistol before he smells you out.

Also, I would like to see a movie that had quicktime events. If the entire audience didn't press a button when commanded it would restart from the previous scene, and every time after your first fail you'd be given an electric shock.

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