Escape to the Movies: 2012

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Thank you, Mr. Chapman, for telling it like it is. This may be "just another" big-budget disaster flick, but it is THE "just another" big-budget disaster flick and it's good to see a movie critic unashamedly telling his audience that he loved it. This is one of the best entries (top 3) in your already hilarious... umm... repertoire? Is that the word I'm looking for? Anyway, thank you for telling the truth instead of heaping more dung on the pile and telling us to enjoy it as it is: a well-made, big-budget, non-hyphenated, uber-disaster popcorn movie.

One thing though: I still say that Mr. Bay doesn't deserve that much hatred for his work. I mean, come on! Bad Boys was f*ckin' AWESOME and I had all kinds of fun watching The Island. If nothing else, he's still better than Uwe Boll.

...wait, what? Uwe Boll just released a good movie???

Well then, maybe Michael Bay really *is* the worst director out there. But I still say that he doesn't deserve every insult flung his way.

User was put on probation for this post. Michael Bay truly does deserve every insult. Have you not seen his movies?

1: To MovieBob: I agree with the general consensus. This was a good review, and I still kick myself for not going to see Paranormal Activity. Stupid social life!

2: To MovieBob haters: Admittedly, his format is pretty similar. But why not go with what works? A lot of Stolen Pixel comics make sarcastic "breaking-the-fourth-wall" jokes. Are they copying Unskippable?

3: Back to MovieBob: I'd ask if you were going to review "New Moon," but I'm pretty sure only two results are possible: 1) It'd basically be like your "Harry Potter" review, or 2) you'd probably laugh in my face and say "No."

Nice Review. I was searching out the letters of hyprocrite on my keyboard when you said you liked it but it was nice to see some proper reasoning in a review for a change. I wish I had you for my english teacher and you might have actually made me at least not dispise the subject. I have new respect for your other reviews having seen this one, keep up the good work.

Great review.
The Micheal Bay version of the scene made me genuinely laugh out loud.

I've been meaning to ask this for awhile now but how come you don't have your own video link bar on the side of the home page like all the others? Your videos are great and it always seemed a bit odd.

i guess from that perspective if you just wanna see destruction and meham done right see it but seriously anything and everything is better than transformers 2

slopeslider:

theultimateend:
This video was fantastic.

I do have one major complaint though.

You completely destroyed my image of you.

I always envisioned you doing these in an iron man costume (with the helmet off). Now I have to think of the sad reality that you wear suits...not of armor...but of cloth.

THE HORROR.

Somewhere a nerd just died from an adolescent heart attack after finding out that Spider-Man was molested in a public service announcement way back when...good job Bob! GOOD JOB!

civver:
I do have to admit, your justification of how that shot is good resonated with me. But part of me complains about how earthquakes do not work that way. To each their own, I guess.

Stop.

I often have to tell my dad that when we go to watch a movie.

He can accept that there are cars transforming into robots that are from outer space. But the second someone misrepresents something he has a bit of knowledge on (namely the military) he ends up going off about how fake it is.

Suspension of disbelief is a requirement when you watch any sort of fantasy movie. It always has been and it always will be.

It's because transformers dont exist, so they can do whatever with that. If they had a 4 star general fighting with the troops, that unrealistic, and since the army does exist, they cant just do whatever they want and expect us to believe it. Like airdropping a hover tank or something for the good guys to use. Usually you have to only suspend your belief when it comes to the fantasy part of the movie, the transformers are the fantasy part, so we dont ask how they have functioning cars inside of their crazy bodies. but the military does exist, which is why they dont use laser guns and have super-weapons.

The mistake you are making is assuming that all things in this alternate reality function on the same plane as they do in this reality.

In the reality where transformers exist we have no idea how the military works.

There are an infinitely many universes being tapped by artists, in 2012 we are seeing one where the world completely falls apart on 2012, how do we know that Earthquakes don't work that way in that plane of existence?

theultimateend:

The mistake you are making is assuming that all things in this alternate reality function on the same plane as they do in this reality.

In the reality where transformers exist we have no idea how the military works.

There are an infinitely many universes being tapped by artists, in 2012 we are seeing one where the world completely falls apart on 2012, how do we know that Earthquakes don't work that way in that plane of existence?

That's not a mistake. Its a reasonable expectation. Sure in that reality, earthquakes could work that way. And people could fly on their farts and swim in lava.

If the writers make up too much stuff there is no basis for suspense or interest because the writer can just write up any solution to a problem and say "that's how it works". No threat is dire enough because you know that the writer will simply make up something to allow the character to escape/survive. The world has to be consistent and reasonable or there is no emotional involvement. Deus Ex Machina is NOT a good solution even for fantasy.

ahpuch:

theultimateend:

The mistake you are making is assuming that all things in this alternate reality function on the same plane as they do in this reality.

In the reality where transformers exist we have no idea how the military works.

There are an infinitely many universes being tapped by artists, in 2012 we are seeing one where the world completely falls apart on 2012, how do we know that Earthquakes don't work that way in that plane of existence?

That's not a mistake. Its a reasonable expectation. Sure in that reality, earthquakes could work that way. And people could fly on their farts and swim in lava.

If the writers make up too much stuff there is no basis for suspense or interest because the writer can just write up any solution to a problem and say "that's how it works". No threat is dire enough because you know that the writer will simply make up something to allow the character to escape/survive. The world has to be consistent and reasonable or there is no emotional involvement. Deus Ex Machina is NOT a good solution even for fantasy.

Meh whatever. I tried to explain the entire premise for all writing ever. The fact that no writer ever has researched every possible variable in their stories. It is the idea of suspension of disbelief.

As far as I could tell the movie was entirely consistent given the premise.

Saphatorael:
Oh, you forgot to mention that the Maya's made a mistake in the calculations. The calender ends in 2208 AD, not 2012.

And the Egyptian Pyramids apparently predict Doomsday for 2979. If there really is a doomsday prediction, you can guarantee the older cultures foresaw what misreading stone tablets would do, and get lols out of it.

That said, a nice review all in all.

Funny I always though you'd be a big guy with a beard... I thought you'd look a little like Mike Mozart from those Jeepers media youtube vids... not quite the same look but I wasn't too far off.

On another note my older brother is one of the idiots that believe in the 2012 crap because he watched a documentary on it... why is every member of my family a epic fail.

Ahh...it's like Y2K all over again, well, at least the part with the bad movie that takes advantage of Apocolypse-believing morons. No one's crying for bomb shelters, stockpiling food & tape, or whining about their computers. Oh my gawd! Could people have actyally learned something from it?

Man this was a good movie. Great review at that and I thought I was the only one that thought Transformers movies sucked... So glad I'm not alone lol

I saw it and it was pretty cool the only thing I didnt like where SPOILERS: the symbolism and that they started at year : 0001 after they opend the ships

orangeapples:
I actually took a class about Mayan Math. The calendar was made around 12AD, and the reason it ends at 2012 is because the Mayans never needed to count past 2000. They used a base 20 system: 0, 20, 200, 2000 (we have a base 10 system: 0, 10, 100, 1000). There was no calculations or advice from aliens. They just never needed to count that higher than 2000. If they did they would have made a symbol for 20000. In there time though, 2000 was about as high as they needed to count. Anything past that is just a lot.

I don't know what class you took but as an archeologist I can tell you whoever told you that didn't know their head from a hole in the ground.

The Mesoamerican Long Count calendar was thought to be a mixed 18-base (winal) and 20-base (b'ak'tun, k'atun, tun, and k'in) system read as b'ak'tun.k'atun.tun.winal.k'in (base-20.base-20.base-20.base-18.base-20) So the day after 1.0.17.17.19 would be 1.0.18.0.0 NOT 1.0.17.18.0 if they used a straight base 20 system and 1 b'ak'tun = 144,000 days (394.3 years) rather than the 160,000 days (438.4 years) your class claimed.

So just on the b'ak'tun the Mayans would not run out of days until 19.19.19.17.19 or some 7890 years after the starting date of their calendar. Never mind beyond the b'ak'tun there were MORE base 20 units called the piktun, kalabtun, k'inchiltun, and alautun that gave the Mayans 23,040,000,000 days or 63,123,287.7 years from the start of their calendar to play with.

More proof your class was talking garbage is that Palenque ruler K'inich Janaab' Pakal's birthdate is given as 9.8.9.13.0 8 Ajaw 13 Pop. Since 9 b'ak'tun by itself is 3,550 years (144,000 days*9/365) clearly the Mayan calander could NOT have started in 12 CE. In fact the generally accepted start date of the current Mayan cycle is August 12, 3114 BCE.

I love how you say "F***ing idiot" so calmly with the added censor beep, and your "Michael Bay" Interpretation of California sinking! XD

He was about as fast as Yahtzee this time. I loved this one!

There was PLENTY of stuff in the movie I didn't enjoy. They seriously devoted a good hour of the long ass movie to shitty attempts at character building. If you wanna watch 2 hours and 40 mins of people you ultimately don't care about, than yeah, its one awesome film. But for anyone who cares about story depth as well as visuals, look elsewhere.

Other than those minor complaints (I really hated that underwater wrestling crap though), fantastic movie. But why did they have to get rid of Gordon like that? If the man has only had a couple lessons with a single-engine plane, but can

I really hated that, too.

Otherwise, great movie. Loved the special effects. Even the cheesy barely-made-it-out crap they pulled about twenty times.

This is one of my favorite MovieBob reviews so far. It's a testamment of the intelligence of Bob regarding movies and the way he sees them. He judges them for what they are and what they try to accomplish and how well they do it. I watched the movie twice and I agree on everything he said. Roland Emmerich is the Master of Disaster (movies, that is).

Reminds me of The Day After Tomorrow.

I believe in the end of the world.. I don't know if it will happen in 2012 or what.. But i know it will happen some day so who says it cant be in 2012? Besides there are at least 20 different ways for the planet to be completely destroyed rather easily to.. A meteor that is big enough.... earthquake to strike the methane build ups at the sea bed...... the sun sending a super big EMD or whatever its called... jesus coming down and turning us all into zombies then purifying us with holy water.. Tons of ways.. So who says it cant happen in 2012?

xD all i have too say is love it!

I just watched this episode again, and I LOL'd at the part where MovieBob "recreates" the scene from the movie as done by Michael Bay.

yeah i dont believe in 2012 so stupid and fake (fake and gay)

but they tell me the movie is good i should watch it

This is such a great review, I must get this movie on DVD! You were almost talking as fast as Yahtzee there Bob!

1. I hate censorship
2. 2012 conspira....cists(?) are idiots.
3. good job on pointing it out (psa)
4. good review!

but all the posters here, and in every other forum, let the escapist know that its OUR choice to watch videos with suggestive words/expletives. NOT THEIRS. THE ESCAPIST STAFF ARE NOT OUR MOTHERS. we wont stand for this. stand up for this, if you disagree and support censorship, i dont know, do something.

Huh, so thats movie bob.
He doesn't look anything like I though he would.
I thought he'd have a hat.

I'm kinda late to the party, but is it weird that I expected you, Bob, to be wearing a white tank top w/ armpit hair showing and a slick back hairstyle?

Well anyway, fun review - as usual.

...

In my opinion?

I don't know if the whole "Mayan calender" thing actually SAID that the world will END. Maybe it's the next coming of Jesus. Maybe aliens will finally land on Earth to say hi. And MAYBE the world will end. It could be any of the above, or nothing at all. One or the other.

The beginning was the best.

the world ends when Chuck Norris Dies...so Never

lol nice idea. I know everyone commenting on your videos like to play smart but i'm sure you have some preety stupid fans too. Not quoting names. Congratulations on your video.

almost fell asleep at the cinema. Me and my girlfriend were almost sick of the movie. It was too damn long ! Good scenarios, nonetheless.

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