Escape to the Movies: The Road

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TZer0:
Was I the only one who heard a USB-disconnect sound 17 s into the movie?

I'm going to see this in a couple hours, and now that's all I'm going to care about. Trying to hear the USB disconnect sound.

Also there is no way, no way, anything can be worse than Anakin. Don't scare me man, you're digging up flashbacks. Oh God, Annie, Annie in the trees. GET DOWN! GET DOWN!

hyperlasers:
Hey Bob-

As somebody who isn't much of an internet junkie and doesn't really like internet junkies, but watches your reviews anyway because they're both more entertaining and more insightful than the stuff you get from Joe Morgenstern, I have a recommendation: cut the F-word. There are some people complaining about censorship here, but it seems to me the bleeps are less about the word itself and more about the astounding frequency with which you use it. From where I'm sitting, it looks like ever since you got to go ANGRYBob on Transformers 2 and especially since you got to do it again over Jennifer's Body, you've gotten more and more comfortable replacing cleverness with F-bombs. I don't have any fucking problem with people screaming fuck, but it should make a point instead of just filling empty space in your sentences.

Maybe this is just the common language of the internet. I have a pretty prejudiced view of online addicts as socially-inept loners who don't know how to make a point or draw attention to themselves except by being as crude as possible, and I'm sure that bleeping one in every five words is something these people get. But you're better than that. In fact, you're one of the best working critics in the nation today because you place movies in the context of film history, bother describing what works and what doesn't work, and make it all fun to watch with wit and cleverness. Wit and cleverness don't go well with tons of profanity; the one adds emphasis to a point be being thoughtful, while the other attempts the same by being thoughtless. These last couple of reviews have felt really watered down because every time you're about to say something genuinely funny you cut yourself off with a (blee-eep). Instead of having an original and insightful new critic, all of a sudden we're left with just another guy spewing F-laced anger onto the internet, and I hate that. So if you want your audience to be limited to loner teenage guys who think that being able to blow profanity at anonymous people on random forums makes them Jesus Christ, you keep doing what you're doing and I'll go elsewhere. But I really, really, really think you're better than that.

Thank you for saying everything I wanted to say twice as well as I could have. Personally, I don't mind language when I feel it is appropriate for the mood, so if Bob gets really worked up, I would not begrudge him his profanity, and the more he rations it, the more impact it has, conveying that he is truly impassioned about something. The more he just blithely throws it out there, the more it becomes a schtick (a la Zero Punctuation). I respect you, Bob, and while he is funny, I do not respect Croshaw. Please continue your record of excellence without sinking into the lowest common denominator.

Off-Topic:

The Great JT:
What, don't tell me you LIKED Beast Wars.

This really needs a smiley, you know, so that people know you're joking, and don't tear your head off. If you weren't joking, then you obviously didn't see the best episodes, which easily made up for anything sub-par. (This is only true for the seasons where they're on Earth, after they left...all bets are off)

Oh god here we go again with the Halo BS (and I honestly can't be arsed going over the plot points again (especially FoR and Contact harvest), because hey, it is becoming increasingly evident that he doesnt give to f(BEEP)s (is that mandatory now?) and why should I bother?) I am getting rather bored of the random dropping of Halo's plot in particular as being indicative of a bad story/poor material for adaptation etc, especially in the knowledge that we are soon to be treated with an *oh hoo bloody ray* World of Warcraft movie, honestly, please find something original to bitch about moviebob, preferably based in fact.

Back on the topic, I do think this review (aside from the aforementioned) made an interesting point as to the use of some situations in films, some things just don't go together, horror and meaningful romance, chocolate spread and treacle, RTS games and AI partners, alone these features could be brilliant, unfortunately together it always seems like the two things are either recieving half arsed attention all of the time, or simply forgetting one of the genres half way through, to focus on the other, before another surprising shift in tone to the previous one to wrap it all up, see: F.E.A.R.

I don't think I will bother with the road, as my current monthly movie line up is already taken up by some pretty astounding titles, and by the way, if you peoples haven't already, WATCH HARRY BROWN!

On the subject of the Moviebob Reviews, I think that he does have many ups and downs in his review, some are brilliant and interesting (see: Twilight, Jennifer's Body, 2012 and Boondock Saints II), but others have fallen flat on their faces as either lame attempts to harvest views (IMO) such as Transformers 2 (which I didn't like so don't start painting me as a freakin drunken frat boy...) or District 9 (which I loved and, before harry brown was released, was my candidate for 2009 movie of the year) The recent addition of the censoring of the F-Bombs is rather confusing and, I doubt, in any way necessary, at the end of the day we are used to it (thanks ZP!) and the only real difference is that he is now the censored sweary guy who hates halo, you know, like yahtzee, only more opinionated... and less sweary.

In summary:
Drop the Halo BS, there is not a single defensible point Moviebob has made about the Halo series.
Review more good movies!
Remove the censoring or quit swearing
Don't reuse gags, that's ZPs thing

Mysnomer:
This really needs a smiley, you know, so that people know you're joking, and don't tear your head off.

While I am kidding, I don't do smilies, because I think that they're stupid.

Also, stronger people have tried to tear my head off, and so far only the efforts of Super Mecha Death Christ have succeeded.

I'm going to ask my dad to get 12 angry men from Netflix.

Did I miss something? Moviebob never censored his swears before. This and the twlight review did. What for?

You really know your stuff dude. Good job

saw this movie two days ago. disagree with everything. reviewer is a jackass.

DAMNIT!
Not even a minute in and you have another refrence that earns you 20+ points (2 Read or Die pictures)
You're getting good moviebob. maybe, too good!
EDIT
Tack on another +10 for the fawful reference
EDIT agian
GAH +30 for the Twilight Zone.
Best review ever

2 hour movie is pretty impressive actually seeing how the book wasn't very long. I like the book a lot kind of sand to hear that the movie is kind of blah.

The_root_of_all_evil:
I'm slightly annoyed that there seems to be a turn towards censoring the F word in videos.

Either leave it out (least favourite), reduce it to F- or lower that damn bleep sound, or let us have an 18 version.

Don't go all Atkinson on us. :(

The other option I would like them to do if cursing must be bleeped is: just use a substitute word.

A perect example is in the movie A Christmas Story. Little Ralphie was holding a hubcap with lugnuts for the flat tire his dad was changing. His dad accidently knocked the hubcap out of Ralphie's hands. Little Ralphie exclaims; "OOOHHHHHH FFFFUUUUDDDDGGGGEEE!" Only he didn't say fudge. He said the mother of all dirty words and it caused him soap poisoning.

Video makers can start using substitutes that a mature audience will understand with use of tone and force. Arse, female dog, fecees, etc. This even has an oppertunity to bring a wink and nod type relationship between the video producer and his/her audience/fanbase.

Cheese and rice, this isn't rocket science.

P.S. There is no word in the English language that offends me. Except maybe "honest" when describing ANY politicion. The bleeping is really getting old and annoying.

I haven't seen it, but I'm looking forward to it. Sorry Bob I'm a fan of your reviews. I just think this is a "I don't know what I want" review. I've seen the trailers and the making of. I know exactly what I'm getting going in. It seems to me you went in expecting 2012: Schindler's List. It has Robert fucking Duvall in it. Youve been reviewing movies for this long and you didn't see this coming? A slow plodding character study in a realistic post-apocalypse?

Review summary "Mooom, I'm boreeed". I will take your Art card back thanks.

On a side note I keep hearing all these "holy shit he named an anime or movie I know that means he knows what hes talking about!" So he's topical? big deal I've seen every movie and anime he's ever mentioned as being good too. Half of those are just training wheel movies for a critic. Review Primer and then we'll talk.

I'm loving the Fawful mixed in there. He's one of my idols, I love seeing him around, since most people don't know who the hell he is.

I hate to say it, but I went in expecting something not bad, and it's... well, that's the thing. It's not bad.

But it's two hours of not bad. I can put up with an hour of not bad, maybe even an hour ten. But two hours of not bad? I get what they were going for, and they succeeded. But the problem with creating an oppressive atmosphere is that after a while it's not oppressive anymore. Run at full tilt, eventually you'll run out of breath. Every person wants to hurt them, every time they stop they will have to run again. I get it. I completely agree with Bob's bit about this working more as a book. As a movie it's visually stunning, like watching a series of apocalyptic paintings, but paintings don't really do much other than sit there looking pretty now do they.

Really, think about it: what makes this movie so special? It's The Road Warrior for the arthouse crowd. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I suppose I prefer my apocalypse with a side order of Humungus.

i saw that movie 12 angry men in my sophmor english class so he is right its a good movie

Epic thanks for citing Adaptation in your review. It and Ratatouille pretty much spell out my philosophy of film appreciation.

KingPiccolOwned:

The Great JT:
Liked that bit you threw in from Adaptation.

Plus, here's an idea, the framework's already there, so why not a Left 4 Dead movie? Yeah, yeah, video game movies will never be good, blah-blah-blah, but again, the framework's already there, the action's there, the characters could be extended upon in the context of the movie. What I'm saying is, "it seems like a bad idea, but with the right cast and crew it could work."

Yeah because it's not like we have any other movies out there about for survivors of a zombie apacalypse...
<Zombieland picture>

Oh wait

What? I thought that was the L4D movie...

why would anyone want to move away from mad max?! those movies are awesome!

12 angry men = wonderful. They didnt have proper names either now that i think about it... so much depth i was drowning first time i saw it.

DaxStrife:
Damn, I love post-apocalypse cinema and thought this looked decent from the trailer. Vigo's casting should have tipped me off (seriously, has he done anything good since "Lord of the Rings?"). Didn't know it was based off a book, so I might go check that out at least.

Appaloosa was a great movie

DaxStrife:
Vigo's casting should have tipped me off (seriously, has he done anything good since "Lord of the Rings?")

Crimson Tide, Appaloosa, Eastern Promises, The Prophecy (he was Lucifer), to name a few.

I strongly disagree with this one and while I'm not going to counter anything said here by Chipman, I'm going to tell everyone else, especially anyone who enjoyed the book, to give it a shot, because it really is an amazing movie. Everyone's certainly entitled to their own opinion, but if you're just going to go off of Bob's and skip it entirely, you're a fucking idiot.

Isn't this movie being talked about being "Oscar worthy"? Doesn't that mean its supposed to be good?

Are we going to know if Ninja Assassin is any good? Cause I ain't runnin off to spend $12 on a reel of crap called a movie.

KazNecro:

DaxStrife:
Vigo's casting should have tipped me off (seriously, has he done anything good since "Lord of the Rings?")

Crimson Tide, Appaloosa, Eastern Promises, The Prophecy (he was Lucifer), to name a few.

+ "A History Of Violence" one of the best films of all time.

It's really sad the movie adaptation didn't work out. The Road is one of the best books I've read last year (the Dutch translation that is). It's all about atmosphere and it's true that apart from the ending not too much happens. I do wonder why they made this into a 2 hour movie instead of 90 minutes. That would have probably made it a whole lot better.

HK_01:
What's with all the beeping lately?

This.

FOR
FUCK
SAKE!

You hit it home when you say it as is! Now you went and played FCC and the whole thing is bogus. Why not cut out the references and make a 2 seconds video... It was Good or Bad The End

piscian:

KazNecro:

DaxStrife:
Vigo's casting should have tipped me off (seriously, has he done anything good since "Lord of the Rings?")

Crimson Tide, Appaloosa, Eastern Promises, The Prophecy (he was Lucifer), to name a few.

+ "A History Of Violence" one of the best films of all time.

Damnit! Now every time I read or hear the phrase "...of all time", I think of that douchebag Kanye, and have a compulsion to say "Imma let you finish". (LOL)

I've never even heard of this movie. There's probably a good reason for that.

jacobschndr:
Isn't this movie being talked about being "Oscar worthy"? Doesn't that mean its supposed to be good?

Based on WHO's standards, exactly? Certainly not by popular vote, just a small group of people sitting around a table trying to figure out how best to boost ratings for the show. I stopped caring about the Oscars when best song went to 'It's Hard out Here for a Pimp.'

Personally speaking as a flim maker and a big fan of the post-apocalyptic setting, I think this flim looks pretty fuckin mint. It's good to see an actual piece of film work in the mainstream for once, not just one of these all-singing, all-danging pieces of colourful, blockbuster fluff we've got for ten-a-penny these days. I know lack of clarity in plot is not something most people want, but I think in a film such as this it will work to bolster the over-riding message. Hell, if I'd been making it, there probably wouldn't have been any speaking either, lol.

Lt. Vinciti:

HK_01:
What's with all the beeping lately?

This.

FOR
FUCK
SAKE!

You hit it home when you say it as is! Now you went and played FCC and the whole thing is bogus. Why not cut out the references and make a 2 seconds video... It was Good or Bad The End

I think it's happening all across the board in the Escapist. Have any of you seen the new There Will Be Brawl episode? There was an F-word that was bleeped in that too. So I think things are changing slightly around here...

And for other things, well, I kind of am drawn to the apocalypse genre, if only because I have a strange preoccupation with death and the end of days, so I might see this anyway if only to avoid Fantastic Mr. Fox and Ninja Assassin. Plus, I can't say no to anything overly gritty.

piscian:
I haven't seen it, but I'm looking forward to it. Sorry Bob I'm a fan of your reviews. I just think this is a "I don't know what I want" review. I've seen the trailers and the making of. I know exactly what I'm getting going in. It seems to me you went in expecting 2012: Schindler's List. It has Robert fucking Duvall in it. Youve been reviewing movies for this long and you didn't see this coming? A slow plodding character study in a realistic post-apocalypse?

I don't think whether he "saw it coming" is really the issue here, the issue is whether or not it's GOOD, and saying "What did you expect?" is not really a valid defense if the movie isn't good.

And no, I wouldn't take Moviebob's "art card" away. I agree 100% with the message in that clip from Adaptation, and I can't be the only one who's tired of the "Great Art™" critics who hate everything that doesn't feature ten-minute static shots of a guy herding sheep (looking at you, Salon.com).

It's like the idiots praising Gears of War for having "the most realistic graphics of any game to date." In the first place, the graphics AREN'T realistic (turn off the fucking console, step outside, and you might see that there are other colors besides brown and gray in the world), and in the second place, even if they were, they don't look GOOD. Sure, they look DETAILED, with all the texture mapping and high-poly rates and shit, but they are simply not interesting to look at.

Herr Wozzeck:
[so I might see this anyway if only to avoid Fantastic Mr. Fox and Ninja Assassin.

For what it's worth, NOBODY should skip "Fantastic Mr. Fox" if they can help it. Ignore the trailers - it's a magnificient, trippy little wonder - imagine Wallace & Gromit meets Ocean's 11 - the deliberately low-tech animation is hypnotic and in it's own way its every bit as excellent as "Where the Wild Things Are." I'm thinking it might be Wes Anderson's best movie other than "Rushmore."

Sylocat:

piscian:
I haven't seen it, but I'm looking forward to it. Sorry Bob I'm a fan of your reviews. I just think this is a "I don't know what I want" review. I've seen the trailers and the making of. I know exactly what I'm getting going in. It seems to me you went in expecting 2012: Schindler's List. It has Robert fucking Duvall in it. Youve been reviewing movies for this long and you didn't see this coming? A slow plodding character study in a realistic post-apocalypse?

I don't think whether he "saw it coming" is really the issue here, the issue is whether or not it's GOOD, and saying "What did you expect?" is not really a valid defense if the movie isn't good.

And no, I wouldn't take Moviebob's "art card" away. I agree 100% with the message in that clip from Adaptation, and I can't be the only one who's tired of the "Great Art™" critics who hate everything that doesn't feature ten-minute static shots of a guy herding sheep (looking at you, Salon.com).

It's like the idiots praising Gears of War for having "the most realistic graphics of any game to date." In the first place, the graphics AREN'T realistic (turn off the fucking console, step outside, and you might see that there are other colors besides brown and gray in the world), and in the second place, even if they were, they don't look GOOD. Sure, they look DETAILED, with all the texture mapping and high-poly rates and shit, but they are simply not interesting to look at.

I have a problem with the fact that he literally states that it bored him and therefore was crap. Btw I also thought Adaption was boring and Nick cage is pure rubbish, but hey I'll state my bias I can't stand Nickolas Cage. I think if he's gonna review films he owes us the same.

I understand that he didn't enjoy it because it was too simplistic? Visual? but as a self-proclaimed intellectual critic I think he needs to have a rubberstamp on his reviews that says "I bore easily". Not every film needs something exploding and someone getting shot every 5min to be enjoyable. The trailer in no way indicates anything is going to happen other than a quick chase scene. I just don't think anyone should take his reviews as the end all be all answer to " Should I see this movie?"

Fuck you censorship.

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