Escape to the Movies: New Moon

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New Moon

MovieBob tries to find one nice thing to say about New Moon, but it's a stretch.

Watch Video

New Moon sucks. Im suprised so many older teens and college girls go for this stuff.

The bleeping is terribly annoying.

slopeslider:
New Moon sucks. Im suprised so many older teens and college girls go for this stuff.

I do and I'm a nineteen year old guy. I was planning to see it tonight except a friend (also a guy) who saw it last night said that although it was decent, the amount of screaming fangirls made it less enjoyable, so I may wait until an adult screening is done at the local cinema (i.e. 18 and over only). Have you actually seen it, or made an attempt to see it? If so then your opinion is fair and noted. If you haven't made an attempt to see it then what right do you have to criticise it?

And yes, I do like things like Dracula as well. I simply don't agree that Twilight 'ruined' vampires. Although for all the things I like about the series, I still don't like the 'sparkly' vampires idea.

I would rather watch a 12 hour porno directed by Uwe Boll and starring a platypus and a wheelchair than go anywhere near this piece of shit franchise.

I heard it was supposed to be 'guy-friendly'.

But I'm going nowhere near it anyway.

MovieBob:
New Moon

MovieBob tries to find one nice thing to say about New Moon, but it's a stretch.

Watch Video

What happened to the video on "The Road". After watching it, I clicked on the comments link, but error 404, then no trace of anything 'Escape to the movies' for a while, and now it's New Moon...?

Edit: Oh and: First Page!! Wooo!!

And also: What's with the bleeping now? Is The Escapist starting to impose that on videos?

qazmatoz:
The bleeping is terribly annoying.

indeed

anyway i was forced against my will to see this crap at midnight...i just started laughing my ass off though it because it was so bad

Trivun:

slopeslider:
New Moon sucks. Im suprised so many older teens and college girls go for this stuff.

I do and I'm a nineteen year old guy. I was planning to see it tonight except a friend (also a guy) who saw it last night said that although it was decent, the amount of screaming fangirls made it less enjoyable, so I may wait until an adult screening is done at the local cinema (i.e. 18 and over only). Have you actually seen it, or made an attempt to see it? If so then your opinion is fair and noted. If you haven't made an attempt to see it then what right do you have to criticise it?

And yes, I do like things like Dracula as well. I simply don't agree that Twilight 'ruined' vampires. Although for all the things I like about the series, I still don't like the 'sparkly' vampires idea.

No dude I form all my opinions based solely off of movie reviews. I never even knew what twilight was until I saw this.

Have you ever tried a crap sandwich? Sure you can think its a bad idea but until you've tried it dont knock it. "Have you actually TRIED it, or made an attempt to EAT it? If so then your opinion is fair and noted. If you haven't made an attempt to EAT it then what right do you have to criticise it?"
Your exact reasoning with 3 words replaced by 'tried' and 'eat'.

Thank God moviebob gave this a bad review... a really bad review. I may have don't something terrible to myself if he'd given it a good review. Nice going Bob.

The problem is whilst these games are cliched to anyone above 14 years-old, it isn't to the core audience under it hence they think it's the most starkingly original, personal experience ever. It's depressing to know that this stuff will continue to be sold for generations to come whilst stuff by real geniuses like that of Studio Ghibli will largely be ignored.

*sigh*

Why is this review censored o.o??

Trivun:
...so I may wait until an adult screening is done at the local cinema (i.e. 18 and over only)...

Can they even do that? I'm fairly certain that ageism for no reason is illegal.

Vampires that dont bite people....hmmm yeah that put me off to begin with

aimed at teenage girls...another in the negative

MovieBob hates it....sold! I will never see this movie or respect anyone who watches it

like the Professional (leon) pic especially as i mentioned it in my post on the road...what happened to the road btw....

Mr.Tea:

MovieBob:
New Moon

MovieBob tries to find one nice thing to say about New Moon, but it's a stretch.

Watch Video

What happened to the video on "The Road". After watching it, I clicked on the comments link, but error 404, then no trace of anything 'Escape to the movies' for a while, and now it's New Moon...?

Ninja'd

You are a good reviewer. You are funny, but not in a way that makes your review seem like comedy rather than actual journalism. I have one massive gripe.

If you do have to beep out every swear word then stop saying them. Its annoyings, its flowbreaking and I'd like to think were not all 12 and old enough to hear different synonyms of the word 'poo'.

That aside, I'm not going to see this movie. I wasn't before but some friday evening bashing is allways nice.

I feel very sorry for MovieBob...having to shit through that sh*t...not once, but twice.

I salute you in saying what had to be said about this awful stuff.

What's with the change from the last review 45 minutes ago then to Twilight New Moon?

New Moon some good ideas with this movie except the fact that the writers suck.

Piano-cide dude that was awesome, but the review maybe a bit redundant since we all knew from the first trailer that this was gonna be a big fat disasterpiece.

Im doing my best to stop my girlfriend from seeing this but im running out of options. It ethical to chain your girlfriend up outside of the bedroom?

Normally, I enjoy watching terrible movies get ripped to shreds. But the whole Twilight thing has gone far far beyond that. It's at the point where I dread watching/reading anything about it at all. Even knowing this review was going to justifiably eviscerate it, it took more willpower than I would have liked to watch this review simply because of it's subject. The best way this review could be improved would be to take all the clips out and replace them with pictures of moldy food.

Mr.Tea:

MovieBob:
New Moon

MovieBob tries to find one nice thing to say about New Moon, but it's a stretch.

Watch Video

What happened to the video on "The Road". After watching it, I clicked on the comments link, but error 404, then no trace of anything 'Escape to the movies' for a while, and now it's New Moon...?

He remembered New Moon was out and quickly wrote this up, replacing 'The Road' review. Couldn't pass up the oportunity to rip the shit out of Twilight again. In all seriousness, though, I was wondering the same thing.

Trivun:

slopeslider:
New Moon sucks. Im suprised so many older teens and college girls go for this stuff.

I do and I'm a nineteen year old guy. I was planning to see it tonight except a friend (also a guy) who saw it last night said that although it was decent, the amount of screaming fangirls made it less enjoyable, so I may wait until an adult screening is done at the local cinema (i.e. 18 and over only). Have you actually seen it, or made an attempt to see it? If so then your opinion is fair and noted. If you haven't made an attempt to see it then what right do you have to criticise it?

And yes, I do like things like Dracula as well. I simply don't agree that Twilight 'ruined' vampires. Although for all the things I like about the series, I still don't like the 'sparkly' vampires idea.

Did you enjoy the last book where Edward 'makes love' to Bella so hard that he breaks bones? Or that she literally got pregnant from a being that has no blood flow so no erection is possible? Or that the author states that the baby has an extra chromosome that allows for the baby to be a hybrid vampire-human when really an extra chromosome = down syndrome? Or how about that Jacob will be 'tapping dat' baby when it's 6 years old because vampires age faster, yet lore absolutely states that they never age?

Trivun:
Have you actually seen it, or made an attempt to see it? If so then your opinion is fair and noted. If you haven't made an attempt to see it then what right do you have to criticise it?

This is what piracy is for. Watching stuff you know is going to be terrible without having the guilt of giving money to talentless hacks.

This review made my week. Nice job.

Yep, still hate vampires.

Every goddamn one. Bloodsucking monsters that feed on the weak and innocent.

So..... Bob... Tell me how you really feel?

I saw Twilight just recently, and to be honest, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Yeah, it was really cheesy (cue blowing hair in slow-mo) and it doesn't exactly have anything near top-notch acting. I was just so bombarded by people telling me how crap it was that I was expecting something worse then an Uwe Boll movie...

I think one of the the things that pisses people off the most about this series is that Mrs. Meyer is a Multi-Millionaire now and people with better books are not...

Just my .02 though...

I love every bad review of these atrocities. Yours was effin brilliant as well.
How did you manage to read all the books? I got a hold of all of them on ebooks, but I only managed about sixty pages. At that point I felt a strong urge to rip out my keyboard and bludgeon myself to death with it. I'm not a literary genius, but even I could tell that what Meyer has done is on the level of a C-graded fanfiction.

And yeah, what happened to The Road? I wanted to see that review, since I love the book to death. One of the few books that actually 'caused me to be depressed for days after reading it. Both times. And I have had so high hopes for the movie, but from what I managed to read on the comments was that it wasn't that good. Didn't have a chance to actually see the review...

I really only saw the first movie as a mildly, not necessarily entertaining, distracting film until something better perks my interest.

still, I can't believe I agreed to see this in a few weeks... urrgh...

JUST FUCKING SWEAR. FUUUUUUUUUU
as for the review, me and my avatar enjoyed it fully =]

slopeslider:
New Moon sucks. Im suprised so many older teens and college girls go for this stuff.

At the college I attend, the upperclassmen women think Twilight is a joke and an insult to females everywhere. Only the underclassmen seem to be interested in Twilight.

Twilight is a terrible series. MovieBob, I feel sorry for you for having to see it. It's all so pathetic.

Nimbus:

Trivun:
...so I may wait until an adult screening is done at the local cinema (i.e. 18 and over only)...

Can they even do that? I'm fairly certain that ageism for no reason is illegal.

Yes, they can. Considering that such screenings are only shown usually at about 10:30pm onwards, until the last showing, so really anyone under 18 should be at home in bed by the time most adult screenings are shown. There's nothing illegal about it, anyway. It's like they do special OAP screenings or kid's screenings at certain times, and all of these are advertised extensively as such.

slopeslider:

Trivun:

slopeslider:
New Moon sucks. Im suprised so many older teens and college girls go for this stuff.

I do and I'm a nineteen year old guy. I was planning to see it tonight except a friend (also a guy) who saw it last night said that although it was decent, the amount of screaming fangirls made it less enjoyable, so I may wait until an adult screening is done at the local cinema (i.e. 18 and over only). Have you actually seen it, or made an attempt to see it? If so then your opinion is fair and noted. If you haven't made an attempt to see it then what right do you have to criticise it?

And yes, I do like things like Dracula as well. I simply don't agree that Twilight 'ruined' vampires. Although for all the things I like about the series, I still don't like the 'sparkly' vampires idea.

No dude I form all my opinions based solely off of movie reviews. I never even knew what twilight was until I saw this.

Hopefully that was sarcasm, I didn't intend to cause offence by my post since usually I try and avoid arguments and flame wars. I was just annoyed at your assumption that the film was bad, when everyone has a different opinion. Just because you disagree with me, doesn't mean either of us is right or wrong. However, I get extremely pissed off at people who say something is good or bad without actually at least making an effort to experience it. Which is why I hate Halo bashers and Twilight bashers so much, but if someone with an informed opinion explains why they don't like it, then I can accept that even if our opinions differ.

Oh, and for the record, this is my first MovieBob video and it's actually pretty good. I disagree with his opinion on the Twilight franchise, obviously, but he's a damn good reviewer :). Though I'm puzzled as to why all the swear words were bleeped out, when Yahtzee is allowed to swear gratuitously in ZP (actually, I've also noticed that with Apocalypse Lane too. Anyone know why this is?).

Yudas:

If you do have to beep out every swear word then stop saying them. Its annoyings, its flowbreaking and I'd like to think were not all 12 and old enough to hear different synonyms of the word 'poo'.

This. Good review though. The bit about the Jacob character was spot on.

Thats odd, the review of "The Road" mysteriously vanished and now we have a review "New Moon".

I loved how when you said professional you put an image from "The Professional/Leon."

As for the review, what did I expect? The Twilight series are not great and the movies are worst. But I was still fun hearing you rip this move a new one.

bleh...not gonna see these :(

Monshroud:
So..... Bob... Tell me how you really feel?

I saw Twilight just recently, and to be honest, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Yeah, it was really cheesy (cue blowing hair in slow-mo) and it doesn't exactly have anything near top-notch acting. I was just so bombarded by people telling me how crap it was that I was expecting something worse then an Uwe Boll movie...

I think one of the the things that pisses people off the most about this series is that Mrs. Meyer is a Multi-Millionaire now and people with better books are not...

Just my .02 though...

This, this, a thousand time's this.

Twilight just premiered over here in the UK on Sky Movies and I didn't find it anywhere near as bad as everyone made it out to be. Will probably watch Twilight Bad Moon when a decent copy comes up for pirate.

Sounds to me just like people hating on Harry Potter because J.K Rowling is a "crappy author".

Thank you, MovieBob

...thank you...

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