Zero Punctuation: Assassin's Creed 2

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valekreed:
He's obviously just upgraded his recording equipment. He trying to give the best product he can offer. Something I wish "movie Bob" would do, seeing that it sounds like he's narrating from within his bathroom.

Like how the Unskippable guys record from Yahtzee's bathroom?

Hmm...I was sorta in two minds about Assassin's Creed 2, after the somewhat disappointing first installment, but it seems like this one really is more of a significant improvement on it's predecessor than I expected.

I think I might actually play it after all now...

can't wait to get this game!!!

Now, I don't know who reads this or if Yahtzee even reads all of these, but I'll post this question anyway because I didn't really look to hard to find some other form of contact.

Yahtzee, you sound very similar to some guy also named Ben, who does podcasts in Spanish for some language learning program that my Spanish teacher makes us use. Coincidence? Most likely...but I was just wondering anyway. Maybe those were times you've tried to forget, sorry if I ruined that for you. No hard feelings?

Is that just me or Yahtzee didn't have the same voice as usual?

<3 The Jurrasic park quote Yatzhee :D

I feel like I should complain about the new watermark, but I have to admit I didn't even notice it the first time I watched this video. But now it will annoy me forever, because I know it's there.

Acolyt3:
You will both be banned. How can you even have watched the video yet?

How could you have? posting 2 mins after a nearly 5 mins video was posted.

Anyways I found it hard to laugh i mean it didnt sound like yahtzee the voice seemed rather plain and didnt put emphasis on points where it was needed.

It didn't feel like Yahtzee... it was like Yahtzee wrote a script and then a robot Yahtzee with no emotion, passion, or charisma came along and recorded it. I actually found myself bored with this review.
I hope real Yahtzee escapes from robo-Yahtzee's clutches soon.

In case no-one has guessed at this theory in the last 14 pages (buggered if I'm combing through them to check) I suspect Yahtzee actually recorded the video, then realised he'd been speaking too fast to actually be understood easily (I noticed during his MW2 review he was speaking markedly faster than before) so he manually slowed it down to make it easier to understand, which caused his voice to distort and pitch to drop. Well that's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

"Clever girl." HAH! That was hilarious!

Yahtzee you sound like the British version of a friend of mine with that new mic of yours xD I wasn't sure if it was you or not, but damn man, you sound hot now...and I don't mean that in the gay way >.>;;;

Anyway it's already been said that your review is awesome, so I don't think I need to be the 440th or so person to say it. Can you actually kill the Minstrels without getting in trouble this time around? >.>;;; Damn beggars damn near made me shoot myself with AC1...

Not a bad review, might go check it out uf i get a chance, like everyone else said , his voice does sound a little weird but its no different to one of his first vids where he had a cough, i guess...

Ok, first things first. Another awesome video and I loved to watch it. Now down to business that everyone else has said before me, What is with the new sound of voice?

It's funny, I missed this episode until I read extra puncuation about the retarded stuff people were saying about it. Good vid like always, actually, scratch that, best in a while.

Ive seen every episode between 2 and 5 times over the last year and that is 100% Yahtzee. There's been a lot of times when his voice sounded a bit different (especially in the Far Cry 2 review) but the accent stays the same. Its never been exactly the same voice.

yeah it sounds like the earlier vids

Voice definitely sounded weird, but was still an excellent review. (Can't believe I forgot about it till now.)

this video was hilarous

why wasn't this as funny as Old Yahtzee? Was it the voice? ;[

Good review. Left out some important parts but still funny.

Hey, what's that in hell the shooters are Canadian thing supposed to mean?

no,no,no escape to the movies with movie bob. and it sounds like he's recording in his own bathroom, not yatzee's bathroom. though im sure that would sound the same.

I was surprised that Yahtzee did not mention the truth part of the game, but other than that I liked the review as it was very true, in the demo videos ubisoft told everyone oh Leonardo De Vinci will build you a hang glider and you can use it to fly from rooftop to rooftop, Ubisoft acted like dicks and they show you the glider several times in Leonardo's studio, and one time Leonardo tells Ezio his plans to make someone fly, but nooooooooooooooooo they only let you use it once and not let you fly from rooftop to rooftop in your free time.

dwoo21:

VideoNasty:
assassins creed is shit suck my balls

Why would you want someone to do that? To prove your point that the game is bad? I think if you don't put down a solid argument on WHY you thought the game was bad then you can't say the game sucks...have you even played it?

suck my balls

Spirit_Of_Fire:

Acolyt3:
You will both be banned. How can you even have watched the video yet?

How could you have? posting 2 mins after a nearly 5 mins video was posted.

Anyways I found it hard to laugh i mean it didnt sound like yahtzee the voice seemed rather plain and didnt put emphasis on points where it was needed.

I never said i saw it too. I just KNEW someone would say first.

Well, I'll get this when it drops down to the bargain bins like I did the first one I guess.
I don't like the new voice/mic, sorry Yahtzee :/

It's easier than the first one? Oh my. As a long time Virtua Fighter player I can tell you that the first game was just silly to me, since the counter mechanic is the same as the important hit combos in VF. I just paraded around with weapons drawn and killed every guard who looked at me sideways. No, actually, it didn't matter what they did or how many they were, they all fell in quick succession by two button presses each anyhow. After awhile it really started to feel like a never-ending QT event, somewhat like playing Guitar Hero on really-retard-easy with one button and no music.

What's the point in sneaking around if I can just bludgeon my way through anyhow. Some nice visuals? Hell, I might as well watch some crap American Ninja-esque flick from the nineties.

Thanks for saving me the trouble of even trying it!

@canadamus_prime
Yeah, I wondered about that too, maybe he really doesn't like Prototype and Army of Two. Or maybe it was Turok.

VideoNasty:

dwoo21:

VideoNasty:
assassins creed is shit suck my balls

Why would you want someone to do that? To prove your point that the game is bad? I think if you don't put down a solid argument on WHY you thought the game was bad then you can't say the game sucks...have you even played it?

suck my balls

Graceful even in defeat, I see.

Ugh, I've been away from Escapist for my mock exams and I came back, listened to this and couldn't help thinking, Holy Shit, Yahtzee's body's been hijacked by aliens. Glad to see others noticed too, and I was relieved to listen to his latest review and discover he obviously fended off the spacescum ^_^

Kariodude:
It's obviously not Yahtzee. It's not just that he sounds different, he even pronounces words differently. Let's hope this is a one time thing.

I would have linked a picture of an epic facepalm, but your stupidity makes me weaker.

I didn't notice anything strange with his voice until everyone mentioned it. Odd.

I really find myself being unimpressed by Assassin's Creed 2. I am near to the end and am experiencing this gulf between expectations and experience. First I'll begin with the out-right lies, the missions are not unique.

Example
Rescue the captured thieves, guarded and in cells.
later
Rescue the captured guards, guarded and in cells.
*YAWN*

Second example, the racing missions across the cities and then one of the carnivale quests turns out to be a racing mission. Or, the multiple quests of beating up unfaithful husbands; or tailing a person. Quests quickly become a done-before matter. They could have added arrow-dodging missions (if that doesn't get you a golden mask, I am not sure what will), or luring away as many guards as possible missions. The combat is nice and visceral, but is sadly repetitive (as much as I like maces and warhammers). I've seen every move with every weapon after two days in game.

The locales are beautiful, but what ruins it are the people themselves. They move around in the same manner, doing not much in particular, occasionally watching something. Where are the lay-bouts playing card games of Cassino or the nobles laughing and having a go at Basset? I've seen fishermen and gondoliers but that is the extent of development in this area.

The story is an unimpressive tale of vengeance, but, the characters are somewhat memorable. Quick-time events don't have an impact upon the story. There are no consequences like a character dying or becoming truly offended for you not being quick enough with the button to place a bandage, or grope them or pull their finger.

How much more entertaining it would be, if upon refusing the cup of coffee and failing the bandage sequence, Antonio, now offended and thinking you are an absolutely useless tosser, dragged you outside. He and his gang would proceed to try to beat the shit out of you. All armed with sap gloves just to make it interesting. If you lose they throw your unconscious body into the water, awakening you humorously. Now, you still need their help, so thus begins a different quest line.

It all just comes together as a prettier, done-up version of the repetitive first game. Why are game reviewers getting behind it in droves?

It surprises me Yahtzee did not pick more of this up...

CuddlyCombine:

Solivagus:
Hey, did anyone else notice that Yahtzee's voice was different? (And then some speculation as to why.)

It's not actually different; this is how he originally sounded, back around the middle of '07. He didn't speed up his vocal track back then, or at least not as much. So, to anyone wondering, his voice sounds higher-pitched in the majority of reviews because he sped it up a bit (hence how he also talks so fucking fast. You'd have thought most people could figure that out).

So yes, anyone complaining about this being his "new" voice needs to go listen to the first Zero Punctuations. As for the review itself, I think it was grand; light on the idiot humour, which is probably why a lot of people above are saying this isn't a funny review. Loved the 'blandest sentient creature in the universe' aside.

Also, since the chances of somebody reading this are slim to none (because nobody reads previous posts, they just want to have an opinion), anyone from this point on who remarks on Yahtzee's "new voice" is deemed unworthy.

Seems like the man himself read it, and summarily deemed you unworthy.

Optimystic:
Seems like the man himself read it, and summarily deemed you unworthy.

People don't always have to tell the truth, you know. They don't have to admit everything they do. That's pushing conspiracy, though. In truth, I don't care; I made a logical leap of faith, considering I've been watching Yahtzee from the beginning and didn't know the story of his headset or magical affinity for voice-changing influenza.

Now can people get over the fact that his voice sounded different and focus on the critique itself?

I think this might be the first game that Yahtzee enjoyed more than I did. I understand that the developers were trying to get rid of the monotony of the first game, but I felt the game to be a little unfocused, and the ending utterly disappointing. Then again, I've never liked games that aren't very linear. I tend to just sit around doing nothing, a la GTA4.

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