Stolen Pixels #150: +2 Shoes of Floppiness

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I'm a little confused as to why your archer is wearing a mages hat.


The helms in Dragon Age really are horrible! I was disappointed when I couldn't find an option to disable them.

I've always hated the mismatched look of gear in MMORPGs as well. By the time you reach the endgame, you might have a complete set of gear that looks nice. But for the 50+ levels before that? You look like a little kid playing dressup in mommy and daddy's closet.

I find that in some games, the opposite is true. WoW for example: a lot of the low-level armor looks pretty decent and normal, but the higher level stuff is just so much oversized and impractical decorative crap.

Still, this seems to be more of the exception than the rule. I still recall in the beginning levels of KotOR having Carth in a set of bright pink/purple armor simply because it was the best available at the time.

I don't know... I remember wearing some funky mismatched armor in WoW back in the early leveling days. Or in the endgame as a resto druid who could wear both leather and cloth. It makes for some interesting combos.

And everyone knows pink/purple armor is just plain sexy! Just ask Barney! ;)

I actually tried to dress my characters appropriately, full armor sets etc. I didn't care about the stats. I spend half the game finding gloves to suit the blood dragon armor and the other half for boots. Then I find out you are supposed to BUY them...

I had the same problems with WoW. When you have an undersized legging colored in bright blue/green/purple, you just want to finish a dungeon to replace them as quickly as possible.

I fully agree with the rant. I guess it's why I appreciate the way some games make armour with corresponding skills also have corresponding visual styles. I am really tired of having my characters look like idiots just so I can have the best armour available.

Rusty Bucket:
I'm a little confused as to why your archer is wearing a mages hat.

Because that's actually his mage wearing leather armor, not an archer.

Winged helmets are FTW
P.S. Congrats on 150th Stolen Pixel post :D

Gildan Bladeborn:

Rusty Bucket:
I'm a little confused as to why your archer is wearing a mages hat.

Because that's actually his mage wearing leather armor, not an archer.

If it's a mage, why is it wielding a bow? Would it not make sense to use a staff instead?

i really hated the mage hats, god those are awful.

and as far as gear design goes, i always loved WoW, i stopped playing the day ulduar got released so i dont know about that, but untill then all the gear i got was good looking, there may have been the odd pair of pants from time to time, but overall every time i upgraded i looked cooler. (i played as a male, i understand that female avatars get nakeder after each upgrade)

I hate all the helmets I've seen but 1, and that's a Dwarven heavy armor one I found towards the end of my Dwarven Noble Origin Story. Maybe the blood dragon helmet will look ok though.

A good thing about this game is it gives you bonuses for being fashionable, because when you get boots, gauntlets, and chest pieces of the same kind you get a bonus to stats or some other kind of perk.

Instead of putting on the best gear, I always put on what looks the best. It makes you look awesome and ramps up the challenge, two things that are A-OK in my books.

Shamus Young:
Stolen Pixels #150: +2 Shoes of Floppiness

Just once, it'd be nice to play through an RPG looking like an adventurer, and not a dumpster-diver.

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My name is Seamus... You have misspelled my name good sir.


Shamus Young:
Stolen Pixels #150: +2 Shoes of Floppiness

Just once, it'd be nice to play through an RPG looking like an adventurer, and not a dumpster-diver.

Read Full Article

My name is Seamus... You have misspelled my name good sir.

Fun trivia:

"Shamus" is just the "Americanized" version of Seamus, just like "Shawn" vs. "Sean".

It's also actually my real actual name in real life, actually.

Hehehe. Reminds me of Fallout 3.

Trying to make my character look like something from Apocalypse Now, proved to be very satisfying.

When you give yourself a label (like emo, evil, gamer and others) you are a posser. You just want to look cool and ''edgy''. If you are evil, you will never go around saying ''Hey, i'm evil'', while ''evil'' is recognized by deeds not words and clothes.

It depends on your motivation. I don't communicate my evilness because it makes me look cool (even though it does), but because of the warm feeling it generates in my tummy.

This was a serious problem in Oblivion as well. There were a few times I found enchanted armor but refused to wear it because it looked like a) the front end of an Edsel converted into armor, or b) steel plate nipple covers and a leather strap. Of course, Fallout 3 then went too far in the other direction and only let us wear one outfit, glasses and a hat. And they STILL screwed up the body a couple times.

As for World of Warcraft... well. I still remember the time I ended up wearing what I termed the "Reverse Slutpants of the Mag'har".

Is it terrible that my brain read all of Alistair's lines in his voice? It is, isn't it? I can't help that I loved his romance story so much. Stop judging me!!

Part of the challenge of the game is either finding matching sets of armor or trying to take the more dramatic scenes seriously in the most mismatched gear possible. Even a matching set on the wrong person can have hilarious consequences. (Morrigan wearing the Warden Commander armor yet complaining about the estate staff asking her for a change of clothing, for example.
Two minor gripes there, though.)

1. Why's Leliana got to be some kind of stripper? She's wearing more in that get up than your average non-JRPG pretty boy sword slinger (or Blades of Chaos swinger)or big buff brawler (any genre). Still, such outfits do bring attention to the utter indestructability of clothing items in most games, even swords and sorcery games. They don't even permanently stain, no matter how many gallons of blood spill on them, no matter how pristine white the garment started out.

2. Winged helmets aren't awesome? That's the only reason for a helmet to have wings, my good sir! If it's good enough for Captain America, it's more than good enough for the Grey Wardens!

The Rogue Wolf:
This was a serious problem in Oblivion as well.

Yeah, or in Morrowind. I walk around in this outrageously unsexy looking dwemer helmet all the time, but it gives +20 strength!

As it stands both my PC and Alistair look bland as hell (I stopped wearing a helmet, it just... it just looked too retarted even by my standards), Sten is shambling bland, and Morrigan... well, I'm just leaving her default costume as is. If I can't have half decent, then damn it, I'll have horribly impractical.

Really though I'm disappointed you can't go the OTHER direction. You know, abandon all sense of logic for sheer mayhem. Fallout 3 was great for that. Run around wearing a business suit and hockey mask? By all means. S&M raider costume and a fedora? But of course. Underpants? Yes. Yes.

A lot of the helmets in Dragon Age do suck. I swear I spent ages looking for one of those awesome helmets that the kings guards wear only to find out I didn't have high enough strength to wear it.

winged helmets are NOT awesome? you good sir have made a bad error since winged helmets are awesome

Damn, man. You're on fire lately. I haven't laughed this hard at observational comedy since Hedberg died.

Oh my I remember how my guy looked in Oblivion. I always got away with wearing whatever in Morrowind because I could just put a robe over it and then all you could see was my pouldrens which looked pretty kick ass, especially with the spikes and the.

However Morrowind on the other hand I was wearing that skullbone helmet, the hide of whatever god that likes to hunt, I think fur pants that reflected spells, and two huge boots made out of something I dont quite remember. I always enjoyed looking at my statue in Bruma after I saved it.

How come I never got any of these gears, are they DLC?

Yeah my rogue in Dragon Age: Origins is still wearing the Executioner Helmet(+20 Stamina) because it's the only graphic I could stomach seeing on him all the time.

As much as I would love to see more games implement double gear set systems or allow for dying your gear to at least match colors - I really have to wonder what was going through the artists heads when they made some of these models. You go through all the trouble of crafting this dark gritty story, just to be pulled out of it every time you see your character wearing some ridiculously silly hat.

One drawback I have found with the double set method though, is you end up looking pretty much exactly the same the whole time. You keep finding new and shinier loot, but because it looks terrible you end up appearing in the same clothes for huge stretches of time - which takes some of the fun out of finding new gear. Although it does add this strange meta option to loot finding where every piece of armor is looked at for it's aesthetic potential for your appearance set in addition to it's actual stats.

Lord of the Rings Online probably had the best overall system for handling this. It was double set with the ability to dye items, equip other clothing accessories and you had multiple appearance sets you could swap between. You still ran into the same trapping of looking largely the same most of the time, but at least you had a pretty wide variety to customize from.

You're exactly right about looking for cool clothing before the stats. In the KOTOR series, every time I found armor loot I made sure it looked cool before I even considered wearing it. Games need to do a better job listening to the players and putting in options and models that actually look like something an awesome hero would want to wear. You never saw Aragorn in a freaking dunce cap did you??

"A stripper with a gravy boat on her head." lol! XD

Winged Helmets only work if your name starts with a T and ends with a HOR.


You get stat bonuses for wearing matched sets of armour, and these bonuses can be pretty hefty with the one-of-a-kind items. So my characters spent most of the game looking pretty well dressed, although finding decent looking helmets can be tricky.

I feel that WoW did the same thing with Burning crusade.

In Mass Effect there was a set of red armor with black insets and on my female Shepard, the one of the black patches in the crotch looked like a patch of pubic hair. Seriously.

In WoW, I always gear for stats, so I ended up wearing some ugly-ass shit, especially around level 50. Thank god I am a shadow priest so I could turn into a smoky silhouette and not look at it. The worst was the +10 Shadow Hat of Goth Gardening, and the collar that made me look, quite literally, like a wingnut.

I made all my mages Arcane warriors to avoid the dunce cap effect and all my rogues got heavy or massive armor. One helmet looked like I had cut eyeholes in a giant bucket and poped it onto my head. Duty looks so bad on a dwarf....

I'd like to momentarily destroy the long argument you are having to say the following.

WOOT! 150 Stolen Pixels Comics! At an average of, what, like, 500000 pixels/comic, that means you stolen around 7.5 million pixels!


The Rogue Wolf:

As for World of Warcraft... well. I still remember the time I ended up wearing what I termed the "Reverse Slutpants of the Mag'har".

hey , you're lucky , I spent two months wearing the "leggings of unstable discharge"(yes it's real!) on my priest , my defense though they had some nice stats...ok!
I've hit 80 on three WoW characters , a priest , a druid and lastly a paladin.
The first two spent ages looking like they'd fallen blind into gandalf's laundry basket, possibly after throwing up into it first.
I got sick of looking like a dorky guy in a dress , so on the paladin I based my levelling gear (and my early 80's epics) solely on how they looked rather than stats .Surprisingly this made very little difference to my gameplay , other than looking awesomesauce that is.

yeah the mage hats in Dragon Age are really, really ugly, good thing that the characters are ditching the helmets in all the cut scenes

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