Zero Punctuation: Torchlight

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Torchlight

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Torchlight.

Watch Video

its been like 3 minutes, how could you have watched it already?

i havnt watched it yet cus im in school, but i havnt heard of torchlight before. :/

Why didnt those first guys get banned for commenting that early?

Another very amusing episode! Great job!

[So, now having viewed the movie, I'm coming back to edit my message about the sound not working in manner imperceptibly different from some kind of scheming attention starved Internet lamprey sucking on the inside of your monitor.

I assure you, good ladies and gents, this is not the case, and I just wish to not induce a minuscule amount of additional bloat by leaving my old obsolete message here in its stead. In fact, if some admin wants to bump this message back to the end of the thread just to be on the safe side, I wouldn't hold it against them.]

Anywho, pretty good review where the measure of "good" is measured on the hilarity meter. Exploring the infeasibility of the fantasy female hero's protruding stalagmites with the use of bow and arrows is always fertile territory for the lols. Of course, the overriding joke of just how hilarious it is that these silly medieval peasant shopkeepers can't seem to stay away from the maw of hell long enough to avoid making copious amounts of dosh is a definite "funny because it's true" scenario as well.

The only thing that bothers me is that apparently Torchlight was a good game. The thing is, people have been trying to clone Diablo unsuccessfully so many times that when a game comes along and clones it well, they probably deserve a half-hearted pat on the back. Yes, this is basically just dragging Diablo 10 years into the future but, damn it, it's about time somebody did a good job of it.

So the perspective Yahtzee is adapting here is really more along the lines of a gamer encountering the same game for the nth time and wondering why he's being tasked to grind through it. Well, don't wonder to hard, your paycheck should be a pretty obvious answer.

Granted, this sort of sets up an interesting Catch22, "are you saying, then, that because I was paid to review this game I should look the other way when I see a derivative gameplay experience that I would be sick of if I weren't paid to play it and not mention this?"

Well, no, I suppose not. Truth be told, after buying this game and playing it myself, I barely got any play out of it despite the fact it was such a smooth Diablo interpretation. It goes to show that perhaps the reason why Blizzard is so hesitant to release Diablo III is because we've moved past the entire genre.

WestMountain:
Why didnt those first guys get banned for commenting that early?

Patience Grasshopper.

Nice review

I hear many people here talking about this game. If do get a chance to play I will

thank you Yatzhee

I liked it.

Why does every "rpg" nowadays need a dog?

Lovely review, I liked the puns and calculations. It did make me a bit wondering if I should buy it or not, I probably won't tho.

A pleasant surprise this video was.

Thumbs up.

By the way, you can hold the mouse button down to continue attacking an enemy (same as in Diablo 2), no need to play Track & Field with your mouse buttons.

I don't think I've ever disagreed more with Yahtzee. I've been addicted to this game for weeks now. Apparently Yahtzee didn't like Diablo or games like it either. As always, not really any factual inaccuracies, but I do need to mention two things:

1. You don't have to keep clicking on an enemy. You can hold the button down.

2. Seriously, I haven't played a game that required constant enemy clicking since the original Diablo.

Oh well, still entertaining as always.

I can safely say I have never heard of Torchlight before... but for some reason it does sound familiar... meh.
I suppose the fact that it is PC only and on the STEAM sales may have something to do with that.
Well, it was another entertaining episode of ZP anyway. That's all it needs to be.

Huh. Didn't see this one coming. Still, pretty fun review.

I think I'm going to have dinner now... nipnipnipnipnipnip... ^^

If you're not careful, console RPGs will start requiring you to plug in a keyboard and mouse just to have enough buttons...

Brilliant review. I hate game-play where I'm prone to develop carpel tunnel by the second dungeon.

Aleate:
Why does every "rpg" nowadays need a dog?

Misguided game devs believe that the Dog was Fallout 3's secret to it's success probably...

I never heard of this game before and I guess that's a good thing.

I'd have to disagree this week. Torchlight is a great game for killing time and relieving stress. You're pissed off, you want to kill lots of stuff, it lets you and makes you feel awesome for it. And as for "Clicking everywhere", Yahtzee fails to notice you can hold the mouse button down to continually move and attack.

Aleate:
Why does every "rpg" nowadays need a dog?

You can have a cat instead.

RagingScottsman:
Brilliant review. I hate game-play where I'm prone to develop carpel tunnel by the second dungeon.

Having sunk 10 hours into it in the past week, I cna safely say you won't. I'm on the 29th floor and no adverse effects yet.

So I assume Australian bans/release dates mean that Yahtzee is getting some time to catch up on some of the Pre-Christmas stuff he couldnt review. I look forward to his Zelda in hell (darksiders) review. looks primed for some good quality jokes/images

Rather entertaining review. I hadn't heard of Torchlight until Yahtzee mentioned it though. I wonder if he's gonna review Borderlands..

stok3r:
its been like 3 minutes, how could you have watched it already?

anywhos, very funny, worth staying up till 4am for lol

Yay, more clicking of my mouse buttons until my index fingers fall off... _

I've actually played this one, and I'm going to have to agree that yeah... it was boring at times, but hey... I only paid like 2 change for this one, so yeah.

Great review, though.

While I can appreciate Yahtzee's trademark snark and venom, I did notice that he said he played it for at least 10 hours. That's a lot of time to put in to a game that's only better than an ice cream if it's buried under gravel/only accessible via straw. :)

The thing is, most of Yahtzee's complaints about it could be applied to any game in the genre. He'd might as well say, "this game is ridiculous and stupid because you get five guns that all shoot bullets and I don't even like shooting bullets to begin with." If that's not your thing, you won't like FPS's. :)

I'm just surprised he reviewed it now considering it came out back in NOVEMBER.

geldonyetich:
Is this movie supposed to be silent? I'm playing it and getting no audio.

I really don't think so, in addition to that, I had sound :)

I liked Torchlight, for as long as I didn't see myself repeating those strange underworld levels after killing the endboss.
IT'S OVER AFTER THE ENDBOSS!
There are some more hordes spawning and new levels are created, but the game really looses its sense after the said event...

So yep, you're review is quite VERY accurate, it's fun for the money, but no long-time-activity ;)

Great vid, I wasn't aware of this game, but point and click is overdone, why don't they learn that already? I hardly think I'll give this one a chance...

Hiphophippo:
A pleasant surprise this video was.

Thumbs up.

What's really surprising is this is exactly the way I felt while playing the demo.

Smashing good review. Made even better that it was an obscure game not many have heard of.

stok3r:
its been like 3 minutes, how could you have watched it already?

They didn't... they're "YAY FIRST!" trolls who just want to say their comment was on the first page.

This one seemed a lot shorter than usual

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