Zero Punctuation: Darksiders

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Crouton:

Azaraxzealot:

Codeman90:
If anything War looks EXACTLY like Arthas

dude, he DOES look exactly like arthas, come to think of it, i think i'd play a hack n' slash revolving around arthas... that'd be pretty fun! hell, dude, that may be one of the best ideas ever! SOMEONE SUBMIT THIS TO BLIZZARD!

This does have some striking similarities.

I FIGURED IT OUT!

Arthas is actually the horseman Death, but he ditched War to hang with Blizzard and run Icecrown. Arthas and War are twin brothers, its so obvious now.

By jove... let's just hope that Blizzard's secret service people don't come to our houses late at night and torture us into not saying anything because they don't want Arthas to quit his job at icecrown because we just publicly revealed he has a retarded twin brother that he's neglected for so long that he lost all his personality and decided to be link and kratos at the same time XD

hey I take offence, I like 40k! oh wait that's right this the internet and nobody cares... *sigh* ok I will agree with this review on one point. yes war should be overly machismo not brooding anti-hero. there done.

Azaraxzealot:

Crouton:

Azaraxzealot:

Codeman90:
If anything War looks EXACTLY like Arthas

dude, he DOES look exactly like arthas, come to think of it, i think i'd play a hack n' slash revolving around arthas... that'd be pretty fun! hell, dude, that may be one of the best ideas ever! SOMEONE SUBMIT THIS TO BLIZZARD!

This does have some striking similarities.

I FIGURED IT OUT!

Arthas is actually the horseman Death, but he ditched War to hang with Blizzard and run Icecrown. Arthas and War are twin brothers, its so obvious now.

By jove... let's just hope that Blizzard's secret service people don't come to our houses late at night and torture us into not saying anything because they don't want Arthas to quit his job at icecrown because we just publicly revealed he has a retarded twin brother that he's neglected for so long that he lost all his personality and decided to be link and kratos at the same time XD

War: *knocks on Icecrowns excessively large gate*
Ghoul: (To Arthas) Your brother is here.
Arthas: damnit.. um... im not home. I uhh... uhh.. Im... I lost my heart and need to find it *cuts out heart and throws it down a well*
Ghoul: (To War) I apologize sir, but Arthas is busy looking for his heart right now, he lost it.. again, so if you could come back at a later time.
War: But.. The Apocalypse is happening and he promised he would watch me start the destruction of the world!
Ghoul: It will just have to wait.
Ghoul: (To Arthas) He is gone sir.
Arthas: Can you ****ing believe it? I throw my heart down a well IN ICECROWN! In my bastion of evil and undeath, and some ****ing teenagers just waltzed in through the basement door and snatched it. Those mother ****ers. *Storms off to get his heart back*

There's almost something novel about ripping off games so blatantly.

I wish someone made a game that combines Night Trap, Resident Evil 4, Dizzy and text adventure games to an impeccable, seamless blend of glaring perfection.

I do wonder what could be Yahtzee's top 10 games that should meet the guillotine...

I gess insted of reviewing god of war ripoffs you could review borderlands a fallout ripoff
just to mix things up.

So....has anyone here actually played the game or is this all we have to go on?

I love yahtzees reviews and for the most part he seems pretty on-the-ball when it comes to what makes a good game and a bad game, but I find it very hard to believe that a game could be THAT bad(except maybe Dark Angel for the PS2...).

So does anyone else have another opinion on this game? Is it worth blowing $60 on or even $40 in a few weeks?

This review is far too funny and not to be viewed by anyone with a heart condition, wonky bladder or spastic colon!

ShadowKatt:
So....has anyone here actually played the game or is this all we have to go on?

I love yahtzees reviews and for the most part he seems pretty on-the-ball when it comes to what makes a good game and a bad game, but I find it very hard to believe that a game could be THAT bad(except maybe Dark Angel for the PS2...).

So does anyone else have another opinion on this game? Is it worth blowing $60 on or even $40 in a few weeks?

The game was fun, and I think that is the most important factor. Was it overly unique? the environment was pretty clever, I have played a lot of post-apoc games and this one has something others don't. The lack of humans makes it a little depressing, and thats nice. However I do advise they watch a couple "Life after people" episodes, so they know that Cities don't look quite that good in 100 years.

I thought it was fun.

Funniest ZP in a very long time. Also, this review has my new favorite metaphor ever:

"I am a monster truck that walks like a man!!!"

Yes.

Why would anyone call anything a GoW clone when GoW is a DMC clone? It's a hell of a lot more fun to tack 'May Cry' onto a game's important noun to imply something is a DMC clone.

Kratos May Cry! War May Cry! Witch May Cry! Dante Ma- oh goddamnit.

Well that went pretty much exactly as I expected. But then do we want/expect any different?

Anyway I still enjoyed it and looking forward to a sequel.

"Gelatinous masses that like 40K?" I resemble that remark!

Anyway, kinda sad to see a game that rips off ideas from a bunch of other games. I wouldn't be surprised if the development team was made up of programmers fresh from Hong Kong, considering how much "homage" they put into their games...

Cerabret100:
...how exactly do you get Bayonetta = God of War, and NOT Devil May Cry?

I mean, the comparison still works, but still...it seems so much more obvious to go with DMC

After DMC 4, I think Yahtzee would rather forget the DMC series.

This was the best Zero Punctuation in a long while. I only chuckled at some of the recent episodes, but this one had me laughing until my head was on my desk. Good job, Yahtzee, and let's hope you keep it up.

I was never all that interested in Darksiders, although it has brought yet another amusing rant from Yahtzee, so I'm happy.

I wonder if Yahzee would appreciate War more if he was a tad more like Kharn the betrayer, now that guy has some 'personality', lol.

That said, I shall now go and mingle with my gelatinous friends, plotting the downfall of Space Marines...

Go Chaos

Mmmm and to think theres people who believe Darksiders is far superior to the Zelda franchise.

War really was the most boring character in Darksiders. When I picture War I picture someone booming around laughing hysterically and firing miniguns at everything in sight, brimming with fury and charisma. I don't picture Alex Mercer at a muscle beach.

PS: Leave Warhammer out of this Yahtzee.

All this proection of Warhammer and 40k from the people here is just going to prompt an Extra punctuation of why Warhammer 40k is bad.

and then we will all hate Yahtzee for 10 minutes, remember its the internet, and watch the next Zero Punctuation.

PS: The fact that Yahtzee didn't think of Arthas makes me sad, and I lose faith in his ability to make fun of WoW.

Excellent video. Especially loved the God of War clone part at the beginning.

And I always thought Bayonetta would be more of a Devil May Cry clone than a God of War clone.

"Hello, this is me telegraphing my attack, are u ready? Here it comes now.' That part made me rofl copter =D. Great job as always Yahtzee.

his rage is directed at the fact he has to review more god of war nockoffs, and for the fact most of them will have sequils

I almost lost it laughing when the blue and orange portals appeared. He isn't making that up, is he? Wow, game designers.

And I concur with the majority of the thread, this was one hilarious ZP.

Crouton:
All this proection of Warhammer and 40k from the people here is just going to prompt an Extra punctuation of why Warhammer 40k is bad.

and then we will all hate Yahtzee for 10 minutes, remember its the internet, and watch the next Zero Punctuation.

PS: The fact that Yahtzee didn't think of Arthas makes me sad, and I lose faith in his ability to make fun of WoW.

Nah it'll just be a paragraph about his opinion on 40k. Which will probably be about the generic over the top nature of 40k. Which is fine, the response should be interesting anyway.

Mirroga:

Cerabret100:
...how exactly do you get Bayonetta = God of War, and NOT Devil May Cry?

I mean, the comparison still works, but still...it seems so much more obvious to go with DMC

After DMC 4, I think Yahtzee would rather forget the DMC series.

That's not a very good excuse to not reference Bayonetta to DMC series (excluding 4; it felt like a rehash of DMC3 with a bad story) because that's really the best representation between them; possibly the only representation. I guess Yathzee just threw it in there merely because it just happened to be the very few action-adventure games being released (not a good reason to begin with)... or it's because the reference between Bayonetta and GOW is that there's, god forbid, quick time events; the only major difference is that Bayonetta doesn't make QTE as a core concept so expect watching a cutscene then "QTE, OH NOES PRESS X NAO!!!"; then there's button mashing but Bayonetta does it so well with it personally once you find the pattern... so I'm going to assume the former.

But aside from Yathzee rather thoughtless rage of Bayonetta as a GOW clone, it was a good video. I hope in his review in Bayonetta he doesn't gab about "GOW clone this and that" and rant big time about the other main stuff like the massive sexual innuendo that try too hard to be funny, random CAPCOM references, pointless weapon and its combination you lug around, and SEGA being a shitty console port company (personal rant) or something.

This review really, really, really makes me look forward to when he reviews Bayonetta and EA's "Dante's Inferno."

Codeman90:

Crouton:
All this proection of Warhammer and 40k from the people here is just going to prompt an Extra punctuation of why Warhammer 40k is bad.

and then we will all hate Yahtzee for 10 minutes, remember its the internet, and watch the next Zero Punctuation.

PS: The fact that Yahtzee didn't think of Arthas makes me sad, and I lose faith in his ability to make fun of WoW.

Nah it'll just be a paragraph about his opinion on 40k. Which will probably be about the generic over the top nature of 40k. Which is fine, the response should be interesting anyway.

Lol at the thought of Yahtzee bashing this game for being unoriginal, only to use unoriginal arguments. Though I suppose its a fault in logic to think he should have to come up with new arguments, its funny none the less.

qbanknight:
venting out alot of frustrations over this game eh? understandable since it rips off so many games. heh heh, wait till you play bayonetta which i still don't understand why reviewers praised it so much for "originality" while calling darksiders derivative

because if you look carefully bayonetta takes God of War's 4x^2 + 3x + 5 and copies it directly, whereas darksiders turns it into 8x + 3 (^.^)

Shweet :D
lol GoW rip-off :_)

So...
Yahtzee hates quicktime events unless a game makes combos easy,
Yahtzee hates games with only shooty guns until a game has zelda grappling hooks, boomerangs, scythes, etc,
Yahtzee hates drab, bleak, and monochromatic characters until a game has extremely detailed ones,
Yahtzee hates pseudo open worlds until a game legitimately lets you backtrack using new items,
Yahtzee hates characters that whine all the time until a game has characters that speak clearly and sound good,
Yahtzee hates games where you kill things with a sword unless you're kratos - then it's ok,
Yahtzee hates instant-kill enemies unless enemies actually have counter-able attacks,
and Yahtzee hates portals if they don't have the valve logo glued to them.

What a letdown. It's one thing to rag on games that suck, it's another to be actively hypocritical. If these 'reviews' are just going to be him searching for stuff to insult then I can find better ways to spend 3 minutes.

You are yet again my hero.
What an accurate review.

Kurtz:
So...
Yahtzee hates quicktime events unless a game makes combos easy,
Yahtzee hates games with only shooty guns until a game has zelda grappling hooks, boomerangs, scythes, etc,
Yahtzee hates drab, bleak, and monochromatic characters until a game has extremely detailed ones,
Yahtzee hates pseudo open worlds until a game legitimately lets you backtrack using new items,
Yahtzee hates characters that whine all the time until a game has characters that speak clearly and sound good,
Yahtzee hates games where you kill things with a sword unless you're kratos - then it's ok,
Yahtzee hates instant-kill enemies unless enemies actually have counter-able attacks,
and Yahtzee hates portals if they don't have the valve logo glued to them.

What a letdown. It's one thing to rag on games that suck, it's another to be actively hypocritical. If these 'reviews' are just going to be him searching for stuff to insult then I can find better ways to spend 3 minutes.

thats basically the entire point. If you watch them he does occasionally say "and anything I don't mention is usually good". or something to that affect. the only review he never insulted was Portal.

LOL!!! He just owned everything my friend likes about this game

Crouton:

Kurtz:
So...
Yahtzee hates quicktime events unless a game makes combos easy,
Yahtzee hates games with only shooty guns until a game has zelda grappling hooks, boomerangs, scythes, etc,
Yahtzee hates drab, bleak, and monochromatic characters until a game has extremely detailed ones,
Yahtzee hates pseudo open worlds until a game legitimately lets you backtrack using new items,
Yahtzee hates characters that whine all the time until a game has characters that speak clearly and sound good,
Yahtzee hates games where you kill things with a sword unless you're kratos - then it's ok,
Yahtzee hates instant-kill enemies unless enemies actually have counter-able attacks,
and Yahtzee hates portals if they don't have the valve logo glued to them.

What a letdown. It's one thing to rag on games that suck, it's another to be actively hypocritical. If these 'reviews' are just going to be him searching for stuff to insult then I can find better ways to spend 3 minutes.

thats basically the entire point. If you watch them he does occasionally say "and anything I don't mention is usually good". or something to that affect. the only review he never insulted was Portal.

But you're missing my point. It's one thing to only mention negatives, but he hates things in this review that he wishes for in others. You can't have your cake and eat it too - and like I said, there's no reason to watch if Yahtzee's reaction to everything is going to be disapproval regardless.

It's great to be bitingly truthful and witty. But this video was just hypocritical and forced - like Yahtzee knows he has to deliver the angry (no matter what he said before), or else he won't get the escapist page views.

I remember back in his review of Tomb Raider: Anniversary, he expressed disdain at the fact that games are no longer fun or original, merely sequels or (god forbid) remakes. I see that most games released these days are either sequels, remakes, or (a NEW addition!) rip-offs of good games. Maybe I'm being too cynical here, but it's still something to worry about.

Elesar:
Never let it be said that Yahtzee follows the trend of other reviewers.
And also never let it be said that it's not realllllllllly fucking satisfying when he rips the balls off a game you hate.

Really? i thought everyone with a brain could have seen what he did....

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